by Noah Harris
They were lucky it was summer, and they wouldn’t need a very large or warm fire. There had been a few memorable times in the past when Dante had to keep no fire whatsoever, and at night in the dead of winter. As it was, the small fire was enough to give them some illumination in the night and to warm up a bit of meat for them to chew on in silence.
Apollo stirred from his moody silence. “Will we need to take turns keeping watch?”
Dante thought about it for a moment before nodding. “The chances of someone wandering through are low, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
Apollo seemed ready to sink back into silence, and Dante let him without protest. There had been minimal conversation since their little talk at the edge of the forest, and what there had been had all been business. Part of Dante wished to reach out, make contact with his friend, and try to find some sort of forgiveness or at least peace. The other part of him, the part which won out, kept him quiet, knowing full well he probably deserved whatever Apollo was thinking.
Apollo shook his head. “I’m not mad at you.”
Dante kept his eyes on the fire pit. “You said that. I understand.”
“No, you don’t.”
Dante sighed, looking up. “I think I do. I’m sure everyone has already had a few ideas of what I get up to when I’m not in The Grove, especially since Father tends to give me orders when no one else is around. But it’s one thing to wonder what I might be up to, and then to turn around and face it head on. I get it, alright?”
Apollo looked up, eyes glowing in the firelight. “No, you don’t.”
Dante resisted the urge to growl in frustration. “Then how about you tell me. Because at this point, your grumpy quiet is just telling me the complete opposite. I can’t read your mind, Apollo, even if I wish I could sometimes.”
Apollo peered at him, a strange emotion flickering across his face too quickly for Dante to read before it was gone. It was replaced by curiosity, and Apollo leaned closer to Dante.
“If you want to know what’s going on in my head, why don’t you just ask?”
Dante closed his eyes, praying for patience. “Because you aren’t exactly the most talkative about what’s going on in your head, Apollo. Which I get, that’s just how you are, and I’m all for you being you, that’s what I like. But when it comes down to shit like this, I can’t guess what’s got you so pissed off.”
“Samuel.”
Dante’s eyes snapped open. “What?”
Apollo stared steadily at him. “I’m angry with Samuel.”
“Wait. Why?”
“For sending you out here. This is blatantly intruding on another alpha’s territory, more than a few actually, though I don’t know exactly whose. There were no formal requests, warnings, anything. If we’re caught, we’re in deep trouble, and you made it sound like Samuel wouldn’t back you up if you were caught.”
Dante laughed softly, unable to help himself. “C’mon Apollo; this isn’t even that bad. All the alpha’s around here would be pissed that we were here, and would probably give us shit, but they’re not going to start any real trouble over it. If we get busted, they’ll probably either chase us off or drag us back to Father where he’ll make a big show of giving us shit, and then he’ll give us shit in public for getting busted. It’s not that big a deal.”
“And the other times?”
Dante’s amusement withered. “Other times?”
Apollo’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not stupid, Dante. This isn’t your first time doing something like this. It seems to me that if you’re this blasé over something, you’ve done it, and even more dangerous things, many times in the past.”
Dante hesitated. “You ever think you might be reading too much into things?”
“I read as much as I think I need to Dante. I’m not blind, either. I know what you’re like, and I know what you’re willing to give to keep other people safe. If Samuel wanted you to go running off into danger that you shouldn’t have to face, you would do it in a heartbeat. You’re an intelligent man, and I know you’ve got more skills than you let other people know about. If there was anyone who would be willing to take on dangerous assignments, doing who knows what, it would be you. And the fact that you’re not even denying it to me and just trying to avoid it tells me I’m right.”
Dante’s mouth worked silently before finally slamming shut. It was perhaps the longest string of sentences he’d heard Apollo utter in quite some time, and it silenced him. The flattery about his personality and skills died in the embarrassment of both being praised, and in being called out so soundly.
Apollo’s voice was soft as he continued, “And you’ve been doing this for quite some time.”
Dante sighed. “Yes.”
“Years.”
“Yes.”
“On your own.”
“Yes.”
“And not confiding in any of us.”
Dante gritted his teeth. “What was I supposed to say, Apollo?”
Apollo cocked his head. “The truth?”
Dante stabbed his stick into the flames with a huff. “What good would that have done? None of you needed to know anything, except that everything was alright. Sometimes shit needs to be done that no one else needs to know about, and I’m the one who does it. It’s not like I was keeping it from you because I didn’t trust you, you just didn’t need to know.”
“Why?”
With a snarl, Dante shoved the stick even deeper into the flames. “Probably because you would have done exactly what you’re doing now.”
“Be concerned?”
Dante gave up on the fire. “Yes! I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, Apollo. I don’t need everyone worrying about what I’m doing or what could happen when I’ve been doing this for ages. All you guys need to know is that we’re fine, our people are safe, and that things are being taken care of. Every one of you fuckers has enough on your plate without having to worry about mine.”
Apollo’s features softened. “We’re your friends Dante, your family.”
“And why do you think I do shit? Because it’s fun? Someone has to do it, and I’m the one who I know can get it done,” Dante growled.
Apollo reached out, snatching the stick from Dante and hurling it away from them. “And who was the one who got you started on that Dante? Who was the one who gave you the first order to do something dangerous and unofficial? Who was the one who knowingly sent you into a situation where you wouldn’t have help or someone to back you up? Not for one second do I believe you stood before Samuel and told him to give you the off-the-books assignments.”
Dante stared, his own anger fizzling in the wake of Apollo’s. “Apollo…”
Apollo’s jaw tightened, and Dante would swear he could hear his teeth grinding. “It was Samuel who started it, Samuel who pushed you down this path. It’s bad enough that so many people in The Grove treated you like an outsider, treated you like trouble, but for Samuel to turn around and isolate you further by making you his special agent is the worst.”
“It’s…it wasn’t like that,” Dante protested.
Apollo’s eyes flashed, losing their human appearance briefly. “No, you’re right, it’s even worse. He knew out of all the people capable of doing dangerous things alone; you were the one who would jump at the chance to protect the people he cares about. You’re so goddamn used to keeping yourself locked up tight, I’m sure to him, it was an easy choice. So he chose you, and he’s been throwing you at dangerous assignments, knowing you wouldn’t tell anyone else because you’re a good man that he’s willing to use.”
Dante winced. “Father and I…we both know these sorts of things have to be done. I’m willing to do it. I’m the one who can get it done. He’s not using me; I choose to do this.”
Apollo’s face contorted, eyes flashing a wolfen yellow. For one terrifying moment, Dante thought his friend was going to shift. Then, with a deep breath, Apollo’s face smoothed over, becoming emotionless and still. In som
e ways, the sudden calm was far worse than if Apollo had completely lost his temper.
“I’ll take the first watch,” Apollo said, voice steady.
Dante blinked, unsure what to do.
“Four-hour shifts?” Apollo asked.
Dante hesitated. “Yeah, that works.”
Apollo turned himself away from the fire, his movements precise. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you at the end of my first watch.”
Dante stared at Apollo’s back, unsure what to say. No matter how in control Apollo might appear, there was obviously a storm still rolling away in his friend’s head. Wilting inwardly, Dante nodded, retreating to the patch of grass he could curl up on to sleep.
Anything he said would only make it worse, and so he chose silence.
Chapter 6 – Apollo
~~*~~
A warm hand brushed over his body, the touch light and hesitant. A smile curled at the corners of Apollo’s lips as he felt the hand come to rest on his shoulder. The smell of rustic smoke and a hint of wild wolf filled his nose, soothing the momentary restlessness that rose in him. The barely conscious part of his mind recognized the scent as someone safe, though he wished they would draw a little closer to let him soak in the warmth of their body instead.
“Apollo.”
At Dante’s voice, his conscious mind shifted into gear. Opening his eyes, Apollo rolled off his side and onto his back, peering up at Dante who was staring down at him with a small frown on his face. It took Apollo a moment, but he realized Dante’s expression was one of concern as he worried his bottom lip.
Apollo grunted, shaking his head. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was going to sleep that heavily.”
“It’s not that you were sleeping heavily,” Dante said.
Apollo stared up at Dante, confused. “I don’t understand.”
Dante hesitated. “You were…talking.”
“In my sleep?” Apollo asked, unable to contain his surprise.
Dante nodded. “I don’t know what you were saying, but you were mumbling a lot of things. Not sure what it was about, but it didn’t sound good. Have you been having bad dreams?”
Apollo pushed himself up, shaking his head. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Artemis?” Dante asked gently.
Apollo sighed, giving a light shrug. It had been weeks since he’d had his sleep disturbed by his dreams. For weeks after Artemis’ death, Apollo had been plagued nightly with dreams of his twin. He wished he could have had more pleasant dreams, where she was happy and content. When he hadn’t been dreaming of his twin suffering in her last moments, he’d been locked in dreams of endlessly being alone, wandering around as he tried to find something, anything.
Belatedly he realized it had been one of the latter dreams which had hovered through his mind during the night. During the time when he’d been suffering from the dreams, he’d never had anyone around him while he slept. He wondered if perhaps he’d cried out or muttered in his sleep before, and just never knew it.
Apollo looked up, giving Dante a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about me. They’re only dreams, and they can’t hurt me, right?”
Dante’s hand remained on Apollo’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “You never told me you were having nightmares.”
For a moment, Apollo thought about reminding Dante that his friend hadn’t thought to confide in him about what he’d really been doing for Samuel all these years. It stung deep to think his friend had kept something so important from him, but Apollo couldn’t find it in himself to summon up the spite and anger necessary to snap at Dante. At the end of the day, no matter how misguided and unnecessary his reasons, Dante had ultimately been thinking of others when he had kept his silence.
Apollo placed his hand over Dante’s. “Don’t worry. Dreams are to be expected.”
“Yeah, I just didn't know you were still having them.”
Apollo’s head snapped up in surprise. “Still? You knew I was having them before.”
Dante’s face flushed crimson. “I…oh. Well, shit.”
Apollo raised a brow. “Were you…checking up on me?”
Dante winced, his fingers curling against Apollo’s shoulder in a firm grip. “Sorry. I couldn’t help it. I knew…well, everyone knew that losing Artemis was hard on you. You weren’t really talking to anyone, not even me and I was worried.”
“And you broke into my house in the middle of the night to make sure I was sleeping?” Apollo asked.
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds creepy.”
Apollo chuckled, patting Dante’s hand once more. “It’s not; it’s sweet.”
That little comment only made Dante splutter all the harder, and somehow, made his face even more red. Apollo grinned, curling his fingers around Dante’s palm and letting himself enjoy the moment of contact. As heartbroken as he was that Dante had been risking so much outside the sight of the rest of them, his friend was still the same man he had always been. Impossibly difficult when it came to expressing himself, too willing to prove himself where he shouldn’t feel the need, and ultimately a man who put those he cared about before himself, even at the expense of himself.
And so lonely that the thought made Apollo’s heart ache.
Apollo tapped his hand. “Splutter later, help me up.”
Dante clamped his mouth shut, glowering down at Apollo, who only grinned back. With a grunt, Dante took Apollo’s hand firmly in his own and yanked him to his feet. Apollo hadn’t been prepared for the sudden strength Dante used, lurching forward before he could get his balance. If it hadn’t been for Dante catching him, Apollo would have probably collapsed forward.
Dante pulled him close with a laugh. “Geez Apollo, drink a little more.”
Apollo blinked, his face stilling as he realized he was wrapped in Dante’s arms. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt Dante’s body heat sinking through their clothing and into Apollo. The rich smell around Dante grew even stronger until it was all Apollo could smell. Apollo’s heart thundered away, threatening to burst out of his chest as silence stretched between them, with Apollo’s brain screaming that their lips were only inches apart.
Dante stared, pink creeping into his cheeks. “Oh, uh, sorry.”
Apollo almost let out a sigh of relief when Dante’s arms finally released him, letting him stumble back and stand on his own. As much as he desperately wanted to be wrapped up in Dante’s arms still, Apollo didn’t trust himself to keep his hands to himself if it had continued for much longer.
Dante looked down, cleared his throat, and faced away from Apollo. “I think we should probably just check the tunnels, at least at first.”
Apollo took a deep breath, hoping his voice stayed steady as he spoke. “Why not the area around the mountain?”
“Call it a hunch, but if there’s anything of interest around here, it’s going to be in those tunnels and nowhere else. That’s where Damien kept most of his shit, including those damn crystals.”
“You want to see where he was keeping the shamans,” Apollo realized.
Dante sighed. “I want to make sure it’s all said and done. That’s where it started for Damien, and it’s where it ended. Let’s just go get the worst part over with, and we can do the rest later.”
“I’m right behind you,” Apollo told him.
*****
Dante peered into the tunnel entrance. “Doesn’t look like this part took too much damage in the collapse.”
Apollo thought it was a mild way of mentioning the impressive and scary show of power Dean had exhibited. Apollo still wasn’t sure of the details, all he’d known was that the mountain had begun to tremble and shake, bringing whole chunks of the network of tunnels beneath it down and that Dean had somehow been responsible. He’d known there was something special about Dean and hadn’t been surprised when they’d discovered his druidic nature. It was something else entirely to witness the power in action.
“The worst of it is further in,” Apollo reminded him.
/>
Dante shivered, pulling out a pair of small flashlights and handing one to Apollo. “Then let’s get this over with and see if we can find our way to the center.”
As much as he wanted to say the cool of the tunnels was welcome, Apollo couldn’t bring himself to commit to the idea. The sunlight streamed only so far into the tunnel before it began to dim. The moment before he flicked his flashlight on had been claustrophobic. They were going to crawl through the very same mountain which had nearly come down on their heads only months before, and Apollo didn’t trust the integrity of the still-standing tunnels.
“I should remind Father when we get back that spelunking isn’t my strong suit,” Dante grumbled as they made their way through narrow gaps in the rock.
Apollo stopped, flashing the light through an opening. Much like the tunnel they walked through, the room was cluttered with chunks of stone and covered in a layer of dust and dirt. Broken furniture lay scattered about, pieces of it spread across the room. Thinking back, he remembered it had been one of the barracks for Damien’s forces, though it looked like a bomb had gone off in it since then.
“Hopefully we need never have to crawl underground again after this,” Apollo said.
Dante snorted, continuing forward. “Well, I think that depends a lot on Dean, don’t you think? He’s usually the one who ends up dragging us through everything.”
“And yet still ends up being the one who takes the biggest hit,” Apollo said.
“Yeah, he’s a real magnet for trouble.”
Apollo glanced at him. “Sympathizing?”
Dante chuckled. “Kind of hard not to. Doesn’t help that he tends to invite it on himself, a bit like I do. Though I’ll give him this much, he deals with it better than I usually do.”
“I don’t know; there’s usually a lot of swearing no matter which one of you is the one in trouble.”