by HM Naqvi
biryani Saffron rice, typically with chicken or mutton and a potato or two—a legacy of the Persian culinary sensibility of the Mughals, though flavoured rice is popular the world over: paella in Spain, risotto in Italy.
bowarchi A cook, or chef, though the idea of a chef is a foreign concept. Note: It can have derogatory connotations, as in, “Do you want your son to grow up to be a bowarchi?”
burqa The Holy Book urges women to cover their adornments. Adornment can only mean bosoms because men are exempt from the injunction. In Arabia, however, they believe women ought to be locked up and not allowed to drive. Since this sensibility has permeated parts of the Subcontinent, women who hail from the urban middle class don the ghostly, ghastly black shroud. They are socialized to believe ears are adornments. But in the rural hinterlands of Scinde & even in the Poonjab, you will find women with their bosoms hanging out, tilling the fields.
carom Carom might be described as billiards without cues or balls. The framed plywood board measures two arm’s lengths and is oft powdered with boric acid to facilitate movement. The strikers are wooden disks that are flicked by the thumb and forefinger. I wrote a letter to the Olympic Committee in ’83 to request the inclusion of the game but have not heard back yet.
Chalo, chalain, bachon Let’s go, kids, a phrase that never fails to upset if not upend doting uncles.
channas Chickpeas, a ubiquitous street food on the roads of our city and many cities of the region, often served with tamarind chutney and fresh cut onions & peppers. I would have plate upon plate of the concoction as a child but now I refrain because everything is tainted.
chokri Lass. Yes, lass explains it.
chota chota Small small. Sometimes coupled idiomatically with fat fat.
chukandar Beta vulgaris, or beets. Can be used to denote colour.
chutiya You could translate it as asshole—figuratively it has the same resonance—but technically it has to do with another orifice.
dehria Literally, a materialist, but in our sociocultural context, connotes an atheist. Whilst atheism is associated with sixteenth century Europe, few acknowledge contributions of Musalman thinkers including Al-Razi, Al-Rawandi, Al-Ma’ari. Note: I’ve sometimes wondered, Are lazy atheists agnostics?
dhaba Roadside eatery, usually specializing in a particular dish. There’s a place in Cantt that only serves up omelets, for example, and Al-Kabab in Bahararbad only serves barbequed udders. There’s nothing like some good barbequed udder.
fatiha A short prayer recited for the dead.
foon fan Pomp, circumstance, or, if you like, hoopla.
fut-a-fut An alliterative phrase that connotes speed. For example, I need to relieve myself fut-a-fut. When I need to go, I need to go.
ghazal If you have forgotten my exposition on the form, it is basically a love poem.
God’s cow An innocent.
hakim In Our Swath of the World, there are three categories of medicine: hakimi, homeopathic, and allopathic. A hakim is a traditional, viz., herbal doctor, who might prescribe the broth of a beard of corn for sundry kidney ailments, a curious, questionable, though generally benign, remedy. I am not certain that said broth works, but when I once fell & sprained my wrist, Barbarossa made me plunge my trembling hand in a broth of sheeshum leaves before bandaging it in honeyed dough. It worked wonders. Homeopathy, however, can kill you. It’s a pseudoscience.
haleem Thick lentil stew, often prepared with chunks of beef, mutton, or chicken, that is served during holy months.
haramzadah Son of a bastard. Also see Shehzada.
Hor ki al eh Poonjabi for What’s up? What else, eh?
Imambargah A community centre and place of worship for the followers of Ali (RA).
Irshad Recite, please, as in, “I just recalled a verse of Wordsworth.” Irshad.
keekar A ubiquitous, thorny, dark-barked variety of tree featuring yellow flowers, first described in some Greek botanist’s treatise circa 40 BCE. Everything seems to be attributed to the Greeks, from a pot-to-piss-in to phenomenology.
khatay peetay Eating, drinking. Although we all eat & drink (even insects and tree bark in some parts of the world), the term connotes class, wealth, prosperity. Somebody hailing from a khatay peetay household, for example, doesn’t merely eat & drink but eats & drinks well.
kurta A baggy shirt with buttons down the chest and slits on either side that extends to the crotch, knee, or ankle, depending on the wearer’s sex, the season, or the dictates of fashion.
Lava/Lau s/o Lord Ram (PBUH). Founded Lahore, a noteworthy achievement, but his brother got Kasur, which is something like Remus getting Siena. I like Siena. I have seen pictures. I would like to go before I pass.
loadshedding Planned or unplanned power outage. Although an infrastructural issue, it might be explained by One of the Fundamental Laws of Economics (and the only such law that one is cognizant of): When demand is greater than supply, things sour.
Lucknavi A demonym of Lucknow, a famed city in what has become the United Provinces but was once the state of Oudh. Lucknavis will maintain that the cultural apogee of their city is unique in the history of man. But neither the French nor the Poonjabis would agree.
lambu Slang for a tall man. Also, khamba.
lunghi A wrap for men, one of several that can be found across the Subcontinent—dhoti, lehcha, the most well-known being a sarong. Lunghis, unlike sarongs, are unstitched.
majnun A mythological lovelorn lover, the subject of a poem by the medieval Persian poet, Nizami.
mashallah God bless you, a banal exclamation—why should God bless you when you sneeze?—which might suggest that there is no causal relationship between intent and action, action and result, because only God is the Great Mover.
matric-pass Matric is class ten so matric-pass is short for somebody who has passed matric.
maulvi/mullah Musalman clergy. The maulvi or mullah has traditionally been ridiculed in Musalman lore because he is an oaf, but in the last century he has earned great currency.
Muharram More than thirteen hundred years ago, the Prophet’s (PBUH) grandson, Husayn (RA) & his friends and family were slaughtered by the governor of Syria during this lunar month.
nanga-patanga Naked, nude. Note: a female nude would be nangi-patangi.
naswar An awfully pungent chewing tobacco that’s stuffed between the gum & cheek & periodically spat. Catherine de’ Medici’s son reportedly used it. In these parts, however, Renaissance Men avoid it.
nazarana Monies bestowed upon a married couple, a tradition at Pakistani & Italian weddings.
nazir Court-appointed land appraiser. Never met one, never want to meet one.
paan-wallah Purveyor of paan—a wonderfully refreshing digestif or narcotic wrapped in beetle leaf. Also see radi-wallah & tun-tun-wallah. Note: no entries for ice-cream-wallah as the import is obvious.
Pakola Traditional Pakistani bottled ice-cream soda. Pakola doesn’t need advertising but I like the jingle, “Dil Bola, Pakola,” or “the Heart Says, Pakola.” It sounds like one of Rumi’s verses.
palla A big yellow bony fish. I don’t eat enough fish.
pao A unit of dry measure in the Subcontinent that was made obsolete by the colonial apparatus. Although a pao is 233 grams in our neck of the woods, it’s less in Nepal and considerably more in Kabul, which actually explains a lot of things.
paratha Fried flatbread. Good with sweet or savoury dishes. One was weaned on paratha and clotted cream, sprinkled with sugar.
PBUH An acronym that connotes the awkwardly phrased benediction, Peace Be Upon Him. I understand some Christian evangelicals employ the even stranger “Angel Upon You,” or AUY. One wouldn’t want angels swarming about oneself; one passes gas when one is upset.
qawwali Musalman spiritual music that is known because Bollywood keeps appropriating it. Traditionally a qawwal troupe features two primary singers on the harmonium, two backup singers, a percussionist, and a couple of clappers. I’ve always wanted to be a clapper.
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qeema Minced meat, usually beef. Although we throw in all sorts of vegetables—peas, beans, green peppers—I am wild about qeema with potatoes.
qiyas Arabic for analogy—a tricky tool employed by certain scholars to interpret the Holy Book.
RA A translated Arabic acronym, a necessary honorific for saints but I don’t speak Arabic.
radi-wallah Purveyor of radi, or junk material: yesterday’s newspapers, tin cans, cardboard, empty plastic bottles. Indeed, radi-wallahs provide a mobile recycling service.
razi-bazi I am no expert but I believe the Poonjabi phrase might translate to All good?
sajjhi Salted, barbequed meat, a culinary specialty of Beeloochistan. In Curachee, there were a number of sajjhi joints in and around Hassan Square once upon a time but Hassan Square is no more.
salam Literally, peace, but practically, hello. You reply walikum-us-salam.
salam dua “Salam” translates to peace, “dua” to prayer. In Yankee vernacular, I believe, “salam dua” is meet & greet.
sarkar Boss, and could also connote The Boss—viz., God, not that crooner.
sayien Sir, in the Scindee language. Everybody’s a dashed sayien.
seth Baron, technically, or boss; sir. Businesses run by seths are usually run into the ground.
shalwar All articles in the foreign press describe our national dress as loose, baggy trousers. They call it salwar for some reason across the border.
shehzada(y) Son of a king, a prince. Charles of Wales is a shehzada, and probably will remain one.
shikanjabeen Traditional minty lemonade seasoned with salt & white or black pepper. Can be mixed with vodka to fashion a local gimlet.
single-pasli Biblical lore suggests that Eve was carved out of Adam’s pasli, or rib. I don’t understand. Why not the femur? After all, it’s the longest and strongest bone in the body.
soyem The rituals associated with our funerals are usually completed on the third day after a death.
Sunnah The Way of the Prophet. Some maintain that wearing trousers or shalwars above the ankle, for example, is Sunnah. During the Prophet’s (PBUH) time, however, they wore no shalwars or trousers.
tauba-tauba I don’t say it myself but it has something to do with repentance. It brings to mind the following verse: “Come, fill the Cup in the Fire of Spring / The Winter Garment of Repentance Fling / The Bird of Time has but a little way / To fly—the Bird is on the Wing.”
tharra Local moonshine. Recipes vary from lower to upper Scinde to the Poonjab. In Hunza, they call their proprietary fruit liqueur Hunza Water because it is as plentiful as water.
toofan Tempest. Abdullah Shah Ghazi (RA) protects Currachee from storms, typhoons, tsunamis, and other inclement weather.
tun-tun-wallah Purveyor of sweets (though technically speaking, “tun-tun” dervies from tintinnabulation, or ringing of bells). Tony loved those faux cigarettes that came in miniature cigarette boxes but were actually peppermint sticks.
Urs The death anniversary of a saint but might be best described as the Marriage of Man with his Maker.
zenana An enclosure for women characteristic of both Hindoo and Musalman households of a certain socioeconomic status in Our Swath of the World—the working class do not have such a luxury.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
For starters, I should thank the good folks at Roadside, the IWP residency at the University of Iowa, and LUMS who have nurtured this project by furnishing me with time, space, and money over the life of The Selected Works of Abdullah the Cossack.
I am also thankful to the old denizens of Garden who opened their doors and delved into the past to help me reify the present, particularly Parvez Iqbal Makhdumi, Zahid Alvi, Habib Fida Ali, Furrukh Iqbal. I have also had several dozen conversations with others about the city over the years from the sage Jamshed Cowasjee and storied Freddy Nazareth to the lovely Ishaq Balouch and legendary Arit Hassan. While they are too many to mention on this page, I am grateful to each.
I would also like to thank the readers of early drafts of the opus, masters of the craft one, masters of the craft all: Abdullah Hussain, Zulfikar Ghose, and always, Lee Siegel, ensconced too far away on a postcard beach in Hawaii.
I must mention those who have always lent me support, succor through this project and others: my parents, brothers, Doc Kazmi, Irfan Javed, Sadia Shepard, Heidi Ewing, Abbas Raza, Afshan Hussain, Maya Ismail, Marina Fareed, and, of course, Shahrbano Iqbal.
I must especially thank John Freeman, an early supporter and force of nature, Ayesha Pande, for finding the opus a home with Grove, and Margaret Halton, one of the most thoughtful, patient, generous, and dedicated agents around. Indeed, without Margaret, there might not have been no Abdullah, no nothing.
And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I must thank Aliya, without whom, I would not have been incarnated as a novelist.