by Tia Louise
Reaching for the notepad I kept on my bedside table, I quickly jotted down everything I could remember from the brief nightmare. By the time I’d finished recording as many details as I could, my eyes had grown heavy again.
Curling onto my side, I looked up at the window over my bed. From this angle, I could see the night sky. It was clear, and a million stars blanketed it. Since she’d passed, stars always made me think of Yaya. They were mystical and magical. They held secrets, and if you could read them, they gave answers. They granted wishes…
Tonight, however, was different. Tonight, I thought of him. He’d said he was going west, somewhere to find peace. A streak of white, and a star shot past. I closed my eyes and made a quiet wish. Then I imagined him under a sky filled with stars just like the one outside my window.
One week later in Great Falls, Montana…
Reality slammed into me like a thousand-pound medicine ball. What the hell was I doing here? It was like I’d had some moment of pure, one-hundred percent, temporary insanity! I’d cashed in all my frequent flyer miles, traveled halfway across the country… to do what?
Stand around and lie to everybody, apparently.
My hands were clammy and I could barely breathe. I was going to see him again in less than an hour. If Elaine hadn’t been gripping my arm as we strode out to Patrick’s pick-up, I would have turned and run all the way back to the ticket counter and taken the first flight home.
She was so pretty in faded blue jeans and a grey cowl-neck sweater. Her long blonde hair was over one shoulder, and of course, she had on cowboy boots. Patrick was handsome as always, and the only saving grace was they were too busy touching each other and swapping innuendo to notice how badly I was freaking out. They put me in the tiny backseat of the extended cab, and we headed out on some lonely road into what looked like the middle of nowhere.
Great. This was just great. With each passing mile, I was getting further and further from any way out of the mess I’d created. I was rapidly moving toward complete and total humiliation. My stomach was so tight, it was very possible I’d throw up before the night ended.
Elaine took a break from touching her fiancé to turn and smile at me. “Do you like horses, Mariska?”
“Sure.” My voice cracked, and I looked down at my trembling hands clutched in my lap. “I-I hope you don’t mind me tagging along for the holiday.”
“No way! Friends are always welcome.” Patrick was so easygoing, I completely understood why he drove Kenny crazy—and why she called him her big brother. “The house is huge, and my uncle is going to love you.”
Blinking up at him, my brow lined. “Why do you say that?”
“He’s an old hippie himself.”
“Patrick!” Elaine slapped him on the arm. “Mariska’s Boho Goth. Pay attention.”
Her humor only escalated the panic I was feeling. I kind of already liked Elaine. I wondered how angry she’d be when I told her I’d lied about knowing Stuart. Would she yell at me? Would she think I was a complete whack-job?
“I’ll show you attention.” He grabbed her face and kissed her quick before putting his hand back on the wheel.
I looked into the darkness outside my window. “We’re really far from town.” My stomach was sick at the prospect of the awkward drive back to the airport. Maybe I could call a cab?
“Wait until you see it on horseback,” Patrick answered. “If the Chinook comes down, we’ll ride out to the lake. It’s beautiful… well, it’s beautiful everywhere.”
“I can’t wait to see it with you.” Elaine’s nose crinkled, and she slid her hand behind his neck. I watched her fingers thread into his hair before glancing out the window again.
It was too cold to hitch a ride back to town. Temperatures were already dipping into the teens, and snow wouldn’t be far away. Coming here like this was the craziest thing I’d ever done in my entire life, and now I’d have to face the consequences.
At the same time, maybe it was the right thing? Oh, god, I shivered, I couldn’t even hope for that much. All I knew was I couldn’t have that dream again.
Scene 3: The Cabin
Stuart
One month later, in Great Falls, Montana…
All the things I decided, my plans, what was coming, all of it went out the window with Mariska. I didn’t know what I wanted. It was all fucked up and wrong, but I’d brought her to this place. My place.
I’d done my best not to think about her, to forget the feel of her lips against mine, the taste of cool water on her tongue. I’d gone back to Bill’s with one goal in mind—I’d gather my things and stay at the cabin until they were gone. I’d be safe here.
Then she appeared. She touched me, and what did I do? I deflowered her, brought her here, and proceeded to fuck her four more times. Shit! Now she lay beside me asleep, looking like some gorgeous promise of a different future, new plans.
No. I shook my head and slipped from the bed, away from her. This was part of the process. My will was still in recovery. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but if I let it go further, it would all be on me.
Walking to the coffee pot, I pulled it out and started the process. Water in the carafe, grounds in the strainer. My back didn’t hurt. Putting the machine back together and hitting the On button, I leaned to the side. No pain. Leaning to the other side yielded the same result. I felt strong.
Glancing at the bed again, I thought of last night. She’d spent more time working on my back than she had the first time—most likely because we were pretty well satisfied sexually. When she finished, I actually did fall asleep. I awoke later in the night in the darkness to find her curled next to me. In the past, I didn’t spend the night with the women I slept with. As a result, I never knew how immensely satisfying it could be to wake with a hard on and pull her to me. Arms around her waist, I couldn’t tell if she was completely awake, but she didn’t resist. My hands went under her shirt to cup her breasts. My face was in her jasmine hair, and I kissed that sensitive spot behind her ear. A little moan, and I slipped between her thighs from behind. She was slippery and wet. Bracing her against me, I moved hard and fast. Her back arched as I drove deeper, and it didn’t take long before we finished. Another moan, a sated kiss, and we were asleep again. God, it was fantastic. What the hell was I doing?
I heard her sigh, and she stretched an arm over her head. The coffee finished dripping, and I turned away from the hypnotic sight of her, trying to think this through. I brought her here so we could get to know each other better. That’s all. Sure. What the hell kind of lies was I telling myself these days?
“How long have you been up?” Her voice was high and thick with sleep. I reached for mugs and poured two cups of coffee.
“Long enough to make this.” I carried them to the table. “Cream and sugar?”
“Just cream.” She pushed the pillows up against the headboard as she watched me. She pulled my flannel shirt over her naked torso, and I averted my eyes, pouring cream into hers, nothing in mine.
Stepping over to the bed, I handed her the mug then sat on the sofa. “Sleep well?”
The fire had gone out, but it was still warm inside, the result of it not getting very cold out.
“Yes.” She spoke around a sip of coffee. Then a sly tone filled her voice. “It seems I remember another little bonus around midnight.”
“I’m detecting a pattern.”
“I wasn’t wet or naked!” Her voice was still teasing.
“You did touch me, however.”
At that she started to laugh. I couldn’t help a smile curling my lips. Dammit.
“So what are we doing today?” She took another sip. “Besides more of the same, of course.”
“Glad you’re finally onboard with the program.” Another giggle from the bed. “Actually, there’s a lake close by. I’m pretty sure no one goes there but me.”
She was quiet, sipping. My eyes moved from the dying embers to her. She only watched me over the rim of h
er mug.
“I’d be very interested to know what you’re thinking right now, Miss….” I thought about it. “I don’t know your last name.”
“Heron.” Her reply was quiet. “I don’t know your middle name, Mister Knight.”
“William.”
“Same as your uncle?”
“It’s a family name.”
She took another sip, and I watched her thinking. “What’s your middle name?”
“Renee.”
“Mariska Renee Heron.” It rolled off my tongue like music.
“Stuart William Knight.”
Quiet again filled the cabin. Serious quiet. The exchanging of names. I ended that moment. “Do you feel like swimming?”
“Yes.” She sat up and placed her mug on the side table. Scooting to the edge of the bed, I caught the twinkle in her eye. “That should cover wet, and I’m sure at some point I’ll touch you.”
Damn if that didn’t provoke a rise in my jeans. “Is it still a bonus if it happens repeatedly?”
“Don’t be such a stickler for the rules, Stuart William.” She skipped across the room to where I sat, lightly kissing my lips. Things only became tighter across my fly.
“It’s who I am, Miss Heron.”
“Maybe some things can change, Mister Knight.”
Before we left for the lake, I checked in on Freckles. She’d stayed quiet in the shelter, and she wasn’t in danger of getting too cold. Horses in this part of the country developed longer coats that made them look almost plush. She nickered and pushed at me as I filled her food bag.
“Hey, girl.” I scratched behind her ear while she ate. “This is all your fault, you know?”
No response. She chewed as I remembered the day she reared on Mariska. I remembered the flash of adrenaline in my veins at the thought of that beautiful girl being hurt. It was only slightly less than my panic when Cheyenne returned riderless. The fucking protective instinct was only growing stronger the more time I spent around her.
Rebellious anger twisted in my gut as my mind insisted what had to be done. A knot ached in the front of my throat. This battle was different from coming off the drugs. Drugs sucker-punched me when I was down, hitting me with pain and nausea I couldn’t fight. What I was dealing with now was completely different, and I was stone-cold sober.
The swish of feet moving through the grass followed closely by the scent of ham and cheese broke through my angry thoughts.
“Hungry?” Mariska held out a small parcel wrapped in a paper napkin. Taking it from her, I recognized eggs mixed with a slice of the pork from dinner last night and cheese.
Taking it, I gave her a little nod of thanks. “I thought you didn’t like to cook.”
“Just because I don’t like to doesn’t mean I can’t.” She stood back and crossed her arms watching me.
Giving her a reluctant smile, ignoring the battle waging in my chest, I took a bite. Shit it was fucking delicious. “Mmm…” I couldn’t help a groan. Months of eating poorly were catching up with me.
She laughed and shook her head before going back to the house. “I’ll put on my swimsuit.”
Standing beside Freckles, I finished breakfast in three bites.
Mariska
The smaller lake was secluded and gorgeous. I wasn’t sure how much longer we had of this Chinook, but every day felt like borrowed time. Sort of like every day I spent with Stuart. The fight was back in his eyes, and I knew we had gotten too close this morning. Or perhaps it was last night when he pulled me to him in the darkness.
Either way, as he alternated between playful and hostile, I knew his resistance was raging back. As for me, I’d brought a leopard-print bikini, because… well, why the hell not? All my cards were in. I had nothing to lose now, and I planned to fight dirty.
Discarding the bandeau top, I pulled on a loose-weave beige cover-up. The knit was essentially a series of open circles that created an even sexier effect than topless. My breasts played peek-a-boo at every turn. Just for fun, I braided my hair in a thick rope over my shoulder.
Stuart took one look at me and cleared his throat, facing the water. “I’m pretty sure this is a mineral spring.”
“Do they have those in Montana?”
“A few resorts south of here, near Elkhorn and Helena, are famous for them.”
Stepping into the pool, I was intrigued. “You know, hot springs are known for healing properties?”
He stepped forward as well. “FDR bought one to cure his polio.”
The water was warm and lovely. I took off my top and pushed gently through the waves. “It feels amazing. Like a spa.”
Stuart seemed to forget his internal battle. He slipped off his shorts and continued into the spring completely naked. My whole body sizzled at the sight of him submerging in the pool. I wanted to wrap around that again.
“Now I feel overdressed.” I pulled off my leopard-print bottoms and held them over my head, giving them a little spin. “Skinny dipping for the win!”
He cracked the tiniest smile. “I’m thinking about what you said.”
Dog paddling toward him, I tossed my bottoms onto the bank. “You don’t need a mineral spring. What you have with will heal on its own with regular therapy and time.”
His brow lined. “I don’t have time.”
Stuart William Knight… I couldn’t help a tiny growl moving through my brain. As much fun as I loved to have, I managed to fall for this gorgeous, strong, sexy, absolutely impossible man.
“What’s the rush?” I pushed my arms, moving back out toward the middle of the lake.
He glanced up at me. “You wouldn’t understand.”
A new response. “Try me.”
His brow lowered. Damn his angry, determined look that made my insides go all gooey. I matched it with my own, and he turned his back, giving me the full view of those broad shoulders, the nice V at his waist, and of course, that perfect ass. I loved running my hands all over him during “therapy.”
Since he wouldn’t answer, I decided on distraction maneuvers. “Do you think I might be getting a tan?” Inspecting my arm, it seemed a shade darker, and I was sure I saw more caramel in my brown hair.
“It’s possible.” His back was still turned, and I admired the golden glow covering his skin.
“I’ve always tanned easily, ever since I was young.”
He stretched his arms out and did a long push across the small pond. “I feel good,” he said quietly.
“You look good,” I said equally quietly. Then a little louder, “What did you want to be before you wanted to be a Marine?”
Looking up, he seemed to think. “Cowboy.”
That made me laugh. “I can believe it.” He drifted closer to me, his lips just at the surface.
“What about you?”
“I played My Little Pony.” He rose a bit in the water so I could see his lip curl. I laughed again. “You disapprove?”
“I don’t know. What is it?”
“Rainbows and the magic of friendship.” A laugh pushed through his lips and splashed the water. I swam to him. This man had fucked me five ways from Sunday. I’d be damned if I allowed any distance between us now. Going straight into his arms, I wrapped mine around his neck. “What was your favorite cartoon?”
“Shazam.”
Now my lip curled. “What’s that?”
“Captain Marvel.” His hands lightly traced their way around my waist, and I shivered. His voice was more relaxed. “What was your favorite band?”
“Oh, no,” I shook my head. “You’ll only make fun of me.”
“Let me guess. Backstreet Boys.”
My laughter danced across the water, and he turned me so my back was against his chest. I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Mmm… I love your skin against mine.”
Lips touched my neck before he spoke again. “First sexy movie?”
“Henry and June.”
“Artistic sexy.” Lips touched higher, behind my ear. “I should’ve
guessed.”
“How about you?” I turned in the water so we faced each other again, nose to nose, lips a breath apart.
“I think it was… Nine and a Half Weeks?”
“You like playing with your food.” He smiled, and I leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the mouth.
“I like playing with you.”
A thrill surged straight to my core. “Do you bring many women here, Mister Knight?”
I was teasing, but his expression changed. “I’ve never brought anyone here.”
“Why not?”
His shoulders lifted me with his shrug. “It’s always been my place.”
Under the warm, mineral spring, my nipples lightly grazed his chest. Whatever it was doing for him, it was sending all kinds of sensations through me.
“Now it’s ours?”
That brought him up short. “No.”
He took my arms from around his neck, but when he turned, I felt something hard and stiff brush against my hip. His erection made me giggle.
“I felt that.”
He didn’t respond. He was back to being broody and distant, and it was pissing me off. “What’s the matter with you?” I pushed against him, and he flashed.
“Dammit, Mariska.” We were both angry now, our voices raised, but I wasn’t afraid anymore. I knew he wanted me.
“Do you remember that day in the barn?” he said. “After we rode back from the lake?”
“The day you kissed me?”
He was undeterred. “I told you I would leave. It hasn’t changed. I’m going to leave.”
Nodding, I traced my finger through the water. “It seems I remember suggesting you take me with you.”
“When I go, I go alone.”
Blinking up at him, I tried to understand this. Here we were, granted it was only Day 2 of our getaway. Still, we had this connection. We talked about everything. We could barely keep our hands off each other. It was hypnotic and passionate, and it had all the makings of something real and lasting… And this is what he did.