Goldberg handed him another full vial. “Screw human evolution,” he said. “What has human evolution ever done for us?”
“As you know, Dr. Taller, we’re having some unforeseen side effects with eucomorfamine,” General Carlyle said, stuffing his favorite Dunhill with rough-cut burley. Taller took out a pack of Golds, extracted a joint, and lit it with a lighter bearing an air force, rather than a Psychedelics, Inc., insignia. Perhaps this had been a deliberate gesture, perhaps not.
“With a psychedelic as new as eucomorfamine, General,” Taller said, “no side effects can quite be called ‘unforeseen.’ After all, even Project Groundhog itself is an experiment.”
Carlyle lit his pipe and sucked in a mouthful of smoke, which was good and carcinogenic; the general believed that a good soldier should cultivate at least one foolhardy minor vice. “No word-games, please, doctor,” he said. “Eucomorfamine is supposed to help our men in the Groundhog moonbase deal with the claustrophobic conditions; it is not supposed to promote faggotry in the ranks. The reports I’ve been getting indicate that the drug is doing both. The air force does not want it to do both. Therefore, by definition, eucomorfamine has an undesirable side effect. Therefore, your contract is up for review.”
“General, General, psychedelics are not uniforms, after all. You can’t expect us to tailor them to order. You asked for a drug that would combat claustrophobia without impairing alertness or the sleep cycle or attention span or initiative. You think this is easy? Eucomorfamine produces claustrophilia without any side effect but a raising of the level of sexual energy. As such, I consider it one of the minor miracles of psychedelic science.”
“That’s all very well, Taller, but surely you can see that we simply cannot tolerate violent homosexual behavior among our men in the moonbase.”
Taller smiled, perhaps somewhat fatuously. “But you can’t very well tolerate a high rate of claustrophobic breakdown, either,” he said. “You have only four obvious alternatives, General Carlyle: continue to use eucomorfamine and accept a certain level of homosexual incidents, discontinue eucomorfamine and accept a very high level of claustrophobic breakdown, or cancel Project Groundhog. Or…”
It dawned upon the general that he had been the object of a rather sophisticated sales pitch. “Or go to a drug that would cancel out the side effect of eucomorfamine,” he said. “Your company just wouldn’t happen to have such a drug in the works, would it?”
Dr. Taller gave him a we’re-all-men-of-the-world grin. “Psychedelics, Inc., has been working on a sexual suppressant,” he admitted none too grudgingly. “Not an easy psychic spec to fill. The problem is that if you actually decrease sexual energy, you tend to get impaired performance in the higher cerebral centers, which is all very well in penal institutions, but hardly acceptable in Project Groundhog’s case. The trick is to channel the excess energy elsewhere. We decided that the only viable alternative was to siphon it off into mystical fugue-states. Once we worked it out, the biochemistry became merely a matter of detail. We’re about ready to bring the drug we’ve developed—trade name nadabrin—into the production stage.”
The general’s pipe had gone out. He did not bother to relight it. Instead, he took five milligrams of lebemil, which seemed more to the point at the moment. “This nadabrin,” he said very deliberately, “it bleeds off the excess sexuality into what? Fugue-states? Trances? We certainly don’t need a drug that makes our men psychotic.”
“Of course not. About three hundred micrograms of nadabrin will give a man a mystical experience that lasts less than four hours. He won’t be much good to you during that time, to be sure, but his sexual energy level will be severely depressed for about a week. Three hundred micrograms to each man on eucomorfamine, say every five days, to be on the safe side.”
General Carlyle relit his pipe and ruminated. Things seemed to be looking up. “Sounds pretty good,” he finally admitted. “But what about the content of the mystical experiences? Nothing that would impair devotion to duty?”
Taller snubbed out his roach. “I’ve taken nadabrin myself,” he said. “No problems.”
“What was it like?”
Taller once again put on his fatuous smile. “That’s the best part of nadabrin,” he said. “I don’t remember what it was like. You don’t retain any memories of what happens to you under nadabrin. Genuine fugue-state. So you can be sure the mystical experiences don’t have any undesirable content, can’t you? Or at any rate, you can be sure that the experience can’t impair a man’s military performance.”
“What the men don’t remember can’t hurt them, eh?” Carlyle muttered into his pipestem.
“What was that, General?”
“I said I’d recommend that we give it a try.”
They sat together in a corner booth back in the smoke, sizing each other up while the crowd in the joint yammered and swirled around them in some other reality, like a Bavarian merry-go-round.
“What are you on?” he said, noticing that her hair seemed black and seamless like a beetle’s carapace, a dark metal helmet framing her pale face in glory. Wow.
“Peyotadrene,” she said, her lips moving like incredibly jeweled and articulated metal flower petals, “Been up for about three hours. What’s your trip?”
“Canabinolic acid,” he said, the distortion of his mouth’s movement casting his face into an ideogrammic pattern which was hardy decipherable to her perception as a foreshadowing of energy release. Maybe they would make it.
“I haven’t tried any of that stuff for months,” she said. “I hardly remember what that reality feels like.” Her skin luminesced from within, a translucent white china mask over a yellow candle-flame. She was a magnificent artifact, a creation of jaded and sophisticated gods.
“It feels good,” he said, his eyebrows forming a set of curves which, when considered as part of a pattern containing the movement of his lips against his teeth, indicated a clear desire to donate energy to the filling of her void. They would make it, “Call me old-fashioned, maybe, but I still think canabinolic acid is groovy stuff.”
“Do you think you could go on a sex trip behind it?” she asked. The folds and wrinkles of her ears had been carved with microprecision out of pink ivory.
“Well, I suppose so, in a peculiar kind of way,” he said, hunching his shoulders forward in a clear gesture of offering, an alignment with the pattern of her movement through space-time that he could clearly perceive as intersecting her trajectory. “I mean, if you want me to ball you, I think I can make it.”
The tiny gold hairs on her face were a microscopic field of wheat shimmering in a shifting summer breeze as she said, “That’s the most meaningful thing anyone has said to me in hours.”
The convergence of every energy configuration in the entire universe toward complete identity with the standing wave pattern of its maximum ideal structure was brightly mirrored for the world to see in the angle between the curves of her lips as she spoke.
Cardinal McGavin took a peyotadrene-mescamil combo and five milligrams of metadrene an hour and a half before his meeting with Cardinal Rillo; he had decided to try to deal with Rome on a mystical rather than a political level, and that particular prescription made him feel most deeply Christian. And the Good Lord knew that it could become very difficult to feel deeply Christian when dealing with a representative of the Pope.
Cardinal Rillo arrived punctually at three, just as Cardinal McGavin was approaching his mystical peak; the man’s punctuality was legend. Cardinal McGavin felt pathos in that; the sadness of a Prince of the Church whose major impact on the souls of his fellows lay in his slavery to the hands of a clock. Because the ascetic-looking old man, with his colorless eyes and pencil-thin lips, was so thoroughly unlovable, Cardinal McGavin found himself cherishing the man for his very existential hopelessness. He sent forth a silent prayer that he, or if not ire, then at least someone, might be chosen as an instrument through which this poor, cold creature might be granted a measure of D
ivine Grace.
Cardinal Rillo accepted the amenities with cold formality, and in the same spirit agreed to share some claret. Cardinal McGavin knew better than to offer a joint; Cardinal Rillo had been in the forefront of the opposition which had caused the Pope to delay his inevitable encyclical on marijuana for long, ludicrous years. That the Pope had chosen such an emissary in this matter was not a good sign.
Cardinal Rillo sipped at his wine in sour silence for long moments while Cardinal McGavin was nearly overcome with sorrow at the thought of the loneliness of the soul of this man, who could not even break the solemnity of his persona to share some Vatican gossip over a little wine with a fellow cardinal. Finally, the papal emissary cleared his throat—a dry, archaic gesture—and got right to the point.
“The Pontiff has instructed me to convey his concern at the addition of psychedelics to the composition of the communion host in the Archdiocese of New York,” he said, the tone of his voice making it perfectly clear that he wished the Holy Father had given him a much less cautious warning to deliver. But if the Pope had learned anything at all from the realities of this schismatic era, it was caution, especially when dealing with the American hierarchy, whose allegiance to Rome was based on nothing firmer than nostalgia and symbolic convenience. The Pope had been the last to be convinced of his own fallibility, but in the last few years events seemed to have finally brought the new refinement of Divine Truth home.
“I acknowledge and respect the Holy Father’s concern,” Cardinal McGavin said. “I shall pray for divine resolution of his doubt.”
“I didn’t say anything about doubt!” Cardinal Rillo snapped, his lips moving with the crispness of pincers. “How can you impute doubt to the Holy Father?”
Cardinal McGavin’s spirit soared over a momentary spark of anger at the man’s pigheadedness; he tried to give Cardinal Rillo’s soul a portion of peace. “I stand corrected,” he said. “I shall pray for the alleviation of the Holy Father’s concern.”
But Cardinal Rillo was implacable and inconsolable; his face was a membrane of control over a musculature of rage. “You can more easily relieve the Holy Father’s concern by removing the peyotadrene from your hosts!” he said.
“Are those the words of the Holy Father?” Cardinal McGavin asked, knowing the answer.
“Those are my words, Cardinal McGavin,” Cardinal Rillo said, “and you would do well to heed them. The fate of your immortal soul may be at stake.”
A flash of insight, a sudden small satori, rippled through Cardinal McGavin: Rillo was sincere. For him, the question of a chemically augmented host was not a matter of Church politics, as it probably was to the Pope; it touched on an area of deep religious conviction. Cardinal Rillo was indeed concerned for the state of his soul and it behooved him, both as a cardinal and as a Catholic, to treat the matter seriously on that level. For, after all, chemically augmented communion was a matter of deep religious conviction for him as well. He and Cardinal Rillo faced each other across a gap of existentially meaningful theological disagreement.
“Perhaps the fate of yours as well, Cardinal Rillo,” he said.
“I didn’t come here all the way from Rome to seek spiritual guidance from a man who is skating on the edge of heresy. Cardinal McGavin. I came here to deliver the Holy Father’s warning that an encyclical may be issued against your position. Need I remind you that if you disobey such an encyclical you may he excommunicated?”
“Would you be genuinely sorry to see that happen?” Cardinal McGavin asked, wondering how much of the threat was Rillo’s wishful thinking, and how much the instructions of the Pope. “Or would you simply feel that the Church had defended itself properly?”
“Both,” Cardinal Rillo said without hesitation.
“I like that answer,” Cardinal McGavin said, tossing down the rest of his glass of claret. It was a good answer—sincere on both counts. Cardinal Rillo feared both for the Church and for the soul of the archbishop of New York, and there was no doubt that he quite properly put the Church first. His sincerity was spiritually refreshing, even though he was thoroughly wrong all around. “But you see, part of the gift of Grace that comes with, a scientifically sound chemical augmentation of communion, is a certainty that no one—not even the Pope —can do anything to cut you off from communion with God. In psychedelic communion, one experiences the love of God directly. It’s always just a host away; faith is no longer even necessary.”
Cardinal Rillo grew somber. “It is my duty to report that to the Pope,” he said. “I trust you realize that.”
“Who am I talking to, Cardinal Rillo, you or the Pope?”
“You are talking to the Catholic Church, Cardinal McGavin,” Cardinal Rillo said. “I am an emissary of the Holy Father.” Cardinal McGavin felt an instant pang of guilt: his sharpness had caused Cardinal Rillo to imply an untruth out of anger, for surely his papal mission was far more limited than he had tried to intimate. The Pope was too much of a realist to make the empty threat of excommunication against a Prince of the Church who believed that his power of excommunication was itself meaningless.
But, again, a sudden flash of insight illuminated the cardinal’s mind with truth: in the eyes of Cardinal Rillo—in the eyes of an important segment of the Church hierarchy—the threat of excommunication still held real meaning. To accept their position on chemically augmented communion was to accept the notion that the word of the Pope could withdraw a man from Divine Grace. To accept the sanctity and validity of psychedelic communion was to deny the validity of excommunication.
“You know, Cardinal Rillo,” he said, “I firmly believe that if I am excommunicated by the Pope, it will threaten my soul not one iota.”
“That’s merely cheap blasphemy!”
“I’m sorry,” Cardinal McGavin said sincerely. “I meant to be neither cheap nor blasphemous. All I was trying to do was explain that excommunication can hardly be meaningful when God through the psychedelic sciences has seen fit to grant us a means of certain direct experience of His countenance. I believe with all my heart that this is true. You believe with all your heart that it is not.”
“I believe that what you experience in your psychedelic communion is nothing less than a masterstroke of Satan, Cardinal McGavin. Evil is infinitely subtle; might not it finally masquerade as the ultimate good? The Devil is not known as the Prince of Liars without reason. I believe that you are serving Satan in what you sincerely believe is the service of God. Is there any way that you can be sure that I am wrong?”
“Can you be sure that I’m not right?” Cardinal McGavin said. “If I am, you are attempting to stifle the will of God and willfully removing yourself from His Grace.”
“We cannot both be right…” Cardinal Rillo said.
And the burning glare of a terrible and dark mystical insight filled Cardinal McGavin’s soul with terror, a harsh illumination of his existential relationship to the Church and to God: they both couldn’t be right, but there was no reason why they both couldn’t be wrong. Apart from both God and Satan existed the void.
Dr. Braden gave Johnny a pat-on-the-head smile and handed him a mango-flavored lollipop from the supply of goodies in his lower left desk drawer. Johnny took the lollipop, unwrapped it quickly, popped it into his mouth, leaned back in his chair, and began to suck the sweet avidly, oblivious to the rest of the world. It was a good sign—a preschooler with a proper reaction to a proper basic prescription should focus strongly and completely on the most interesting element in its environment; he should he fond of unusual flavors. In the first four years of its life, a child’s sensorium should be tuned to accept the widest possible spectrum of sensual stimulation.
Braden turned his attention to the boy’s mother, who sat rather nervously on the edge of her chair, smoking a joint. “Now, now, Mrs. Lindstrom, there’s nothing to worry about,” he said. “Johnny has been responding quite normally to his prescription. His attention span is suitably short for a child of his age; his sensual range slightl
y exceeds the optimum norm; his sleep pattern is regular and properly deep. And as yon requested, he has been given a constant sense of universal love.”
“But then why did the school doctor ask me to have his basic prescription changed, Dr. Braden? He said that Johnny’s prescription was giving him the wrong personality pattern for a school-age child.”
Dr. Braden was rather annoyed, though of course he would never betray It to the nervous young mother. He knew the sort of failed G.P. who usually occupied a school doctor’s position; a faded old fool who knew about as much about psychedelic pediatrics as he did about brain surgery, What he did know was worse than nothing—a smattering of half-assed generalities and pure rubbish that was just enough to convince him that he was an expert—which entitled him to go around frightening the mothers of other people’s patients, no doubt.
“I’m… ah, certain you misunderstood what the school doctor said, Mrs. Lindstrom,” Dr. Braden said. “At least I hope you did, because if you didn’t, then the man is mistaken. You see, modern psychedelic pediatrics recognizes that the child needs to have his consciousness focused in different areas at different stages of his development if he is to grow up to be a healthy, maximized individual. A child of Johnny’s age is in a transitional stage. In order to prepare him for schooling, I’ll simply have to alter his prescription so as to increase his attention span, lower his sensory intensity a shade, and increase his interest in abstractions. Then he’ll do fine in school, Mrs, Lindstrom.”
Dr. Braden gave the young woman a moderately stem admonishing frown. “You really should have brought Johnny in for a checkup before he started school, you know.”
The Star-Spangled Future Page 20