by Lovett, Jo
‘It was the caramelised popcorn on the side that swung it.’
‘I knew that.’
Evie shook her head, smiling. He wondered if, like him, she was suddenly thinking about how well they knew each other in so many ways. And yet not in others.
When their puddings were placed in front of them, they both said in the same moment, ‘Wow.’
‘Those are enormous plates of food,’ Evie said. ‘I know now that I’m not going to finish mine, or we’ll be having a bridesmaid-dress-too-tight disaster tomorrow morning. You have to stop me if I look like I am going to finish it. Because it does look delicious and I will be tempted and I don’t want to have to consider last-minute laxatives.’ She turned her attention to Dan’s cheese. ‘So instead of bringing you a cheeseboard so you could choose, it looks like they’ve just given you the entire cheese board.’
‘Pretty much.’ He had five massive wedges of cheese, two crackers and one grape on his plate. ‘Good job I like cheese. I think I’m up to the challenge.’
Evie shook her head. ‘You’re going to have weird dreams tonight if you eat all of that.’
Dreams. Dan suddenly wanted to tell her about his nightmares. The one where he pushed Max into the road and Max got killed. The one where his father was a serial killer and Dan didn’t tell anyone and more people got murdered. The one where he was at work and forgot everything he’d ever known. And the new one, the enormous wall in the Atlantic with Katie on one side and Dan on the other. God, he wanted to know what Hannah’s decision about New York was going to be. And he wanted to tell Evie everything. He was pretty sure that if he did she’d listen and care.
No. He wasn’t going to go there. He couldn’t talk about the accident.
‘Nope, I’m going to sleep very well tonight.’ He cut a slice of blue cheese, put it on a cracker, looked up at Evie and thought about sleeping with her. Christ. What was wrong with him? Yes, they’d slept together in Vegas, but you could be around someone you’d slept with – and only once – without constantly thinking about it. And, as far as he knew, she still had a boyfriend.
‘Is Matthew coming straight to the wedding?’ he asked, and then immediately despised himself. It sounded truly pathetic asking about him.
‘He’s away on a golfing holiday.’ Evie didn’t meet his eye.
‘Oh, right,’ said Dan, trying not to feel pleased.
Evie looked up at him and their gazes snagged. And neither of them said anything.
‘Can I interrupt?’ said Greggy, turning towards them from Evie’s other side. ‘Evie, I hear there’s a laxative story for you to tell me.’ And the moment, whatever it was, was broken, definitely a good thing.
Fifteen minutes later, Sasha finished her fruit salad and stood up and said, ‘No speeches this evening other than to say thank you all so much for being the most wonderful family and bridesmaids and best man, and my nearly-husband and I can’t wait to see you at our wedding – which is tomorrow – and now you all need to go and get a very good night’s sleep so that you can enjoy the day. Taxis will be here for us all in five minutes.’
Dan ended up in a cab with Evie, Max and Greggy going back to Melting.
‘You take the front seat,’ Evie said.
‘No, you take it.’
‘I’ll feel guilty. Your legs are longer.’
‘Evie, just bloody get in the back and close the door so that we don’t all freeze,’ Max said. Evie laughed and bundled in with Max and Greggy.
‘So it’s a big day for the three of you tomorrow,’ Greggy said. ‘Bridesmaid, walking the bride down the aisle, and doing the reading. There’s a lot of responsibility there.’
‘Way to make us all nervous,’ Evie said. ‘Honestly.’
They all laughed and joshed each other all the way back to the village. Dan was genuinely looking forward to the wedding now. There was something about having Evie and Greggy there that made things easier between Dan and Max.
Twenty-Four
Then – July 2021
Evie
‘Are you joking?’ said Evie. ‘After months and months of only being able to see people outside, you want to have a picnic? Why can’t we go to the pub for lunch?’
‘We’ve been able to go inside a pub for two months now. You should be used to it.’ Sasha stuffed Evie’s picnic blanket into a beach bag. She was staying with Evie for the weekend, without Angus, who was away on a stag.
‘You couldn’t get a table for the first few weeks and I’m still over meeting outside,’ grumbled Evie.
‘It’ll be really nice.’ Sasha grappled with the Amazon parcel she’d had delivered to Evie’s flat that morning and then triumphantly held up an orange circle. ‘The boys will like it.’ They were meeting Dan and Max and Greggy.
‘Is that a frisbee? You had a frisbee ordered to my flat?’
‘Yep. If you’re going to do a picnic, do it properly. The food should be here in a minute.’
‘You’re having food delivered to my flat?’
‘Picnic food. Because if I hadn’t, you’d have wriggled out of it. I thought it would be nice.’
‘It’s freezing for July.’
‘Wear a jumper.’
* * *
Two hours later, they were wearing jumpers, and jackets, sitting on the picnic blanket in the middle of London’s Richmond Park, next to Max and Greggy, who were sitting on their own picnic rug.
‘The deer are amazing.’ Sasha angled her phone and took more snaps of the herd grazing only a couple of hundred metres away. ‘Soooo gorgeous.’
‘You know they cull them every year?’ Max said.
Greggy nudged him in the ribs and Sasha told him to shut up. ‘Bloody brothers,’ she said.
‘Speaking of whom,’ Greggy said, ‘there’s Dan.’
Sasha sat up straight and waved her arms above her head, and Dan, in the distance, waved back.
Evie felt her heart quicken. She hadn’t seen him for eighteen months since the car journey back to the Cotswolds that they’d shared the Christmas before lockdown. He was getting closer and she could see him better now. He was dressed in beige cargo shorts, a navy jumper and Adidas shoes, gorgeously, reliably conservative, just, so, Dan-like.
‘Hey.’ He’d wound up in front of them and was grinning down at them all. Evie felt her stomach dip as his grin widened. ‘I would say sorry I’m late, but, bloody hell, the roadworks.’
‘OMG,’ Evie said, ‘I know.’
‘Although at least I had my phone to guide me. Was Sasha directing you?’ Sasha had form on getting distracted mid-directions.
‘Yup. We’re still bickering about it. Right instead of left at a crucial point.’
‘I got distracted by that man on the golden, feathery bike,’ Sasha said.
‘Famous around Wimbledon,’ Evie explained.
‘Interesting.’ Dan caught sight of the open picnic bag. ‘That’s a serious-looking feast there, Sasha.’
‘If you’re going to do something, do it properly.’
Max and Greggy both stood up and the three men did a lot of hand-shaking. Dan looked pretty open and relaxed with Greggy but the second he turned to Max he visibly tensed slightly, his shoulders suddenly tauter and his jaw a little clenched. Evie had noticed before that Dan wasn’t always at ease with Max. Obviously some brother thing. Maybe something to do with their father.
‘Why don’t we try out my new frisbee before we eat?’ Sasha asked.
‘Sure.’ The others all followed her, Evie not totally up for it. The others were all a lot better at sport than she was.
‘Yesssss!’ she shrieked five minutes later, having just done an amazing catch, if she said so herself. ‘And owwwwww.’ A frisbee thrown from a distance was hard.
‘Why’s everyone better than me?’ Greggy yelled. ‘Evie, you said you were rubbish. But you aren’t.’
‘Okay. I’m going to show you.’ Max jogged over to Greggy and positioned himself behind him and held his throwing arm. Greggy leaned bac
kwards into Max and Max planted a kiss on his neck. Evie went off into a little fantasy about Dan showing her how to throw the frisbee. Max and Greggy were pressed right up against each other. She’d love to be pressed up against Dan like that.
Sasha shouted, ‘Stop smooching and throw the frisbee,’ and Evie looked away from Max and Greggy, and over towards Dan. He was looking at her, a half-smile on his face. She shivered, allowing herself to imagine, just for another moment, the feel of his hard body against hers. His smile grew, and she felt her own lips turning up in response. It was like all her nerve ends were responding to him even though he had to be at least twenty feet away from her.
‘Evie,’ Sasha screeched, and Evie turned just in time to avoid being decapitated by the frisbee that Greggy had apparently just thrown. Okay. That would teach her to lust after her friend’s brother.
They ate a huge lunch and then lay back on the rugs, chatting lazily.
‘I could stay here forever,’ Max said. ‘Although I wouldn’t mind working some of those calories off. Footie?’
Greggy and Sasha both stood up. Leapt up, in fact. How could they do that on full stomachs?
‘Definitely in a few minutes’ time.’ Evie might explode if she ran around right now. ‘I might just carry on lying here for a bit. I ate a lot and I need more digestion time.’
‘I’ll join you in a few minutes’ time too,’ Dan said, sounding oddly formal. And there was that slight tension again.
The others wandered off towards the middle of the large expanse of grass they were next to. Evie suddenly felt really self-conscious, alone with Dan, and yet not alone because the others were all very much within sight.
He was lying on his side, facing her, propped up on his elbow. They were close enough to each other that she could see that he now had a couple of grey hairs at his temples, which just made him look even sexier. Neither of them was speaking and suddenly the silence seemed too heavy.
Evie sat up so that she was cross-legged and began to pick some of the daisies next to her. ‘I haven’t made a daisy chain for years,’ she said.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever made one. How do you even do them?’
‘You make holes in the stalks and thread them through.’ Evie could feel Dan’s eyes on her fingers as she threaded, and, God, it was like her hands felt self-conscious now.
‘You’re very good at that,’ he said, his voice sounding deeper than usual. She looked up and caught him watching her intently, a lopsided smile on his face, and her heart properly squeezed and her mind went blank, too full of wonder at the gorgeousness and closeness of him to be able to operate normally. He’d definitely just said something. What had he said? That she was good at daisy-chain-making.
‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘It’s incredibly difficult and I’m very gifted at it.’
Dan laughed. Such a nice sound. Very deep and rumbly and infectious.
‘I think you should have a go,’ she said, actually feeling slightly breathless.
‘Okay.’
She passed the chain and a new daisy to him, and their fingers brushed, and, Christ, it felt intimate. She looked up from their hands to his face and their gazes caught, and Evie’s breath caught in her throat.
Dan coughed slightly and said, ‘So what do I do?’
‘You make a hole here.’ Evie leaned forwards and her hair fell into his face. ‘Oops, sorry.’
‘No problem.’ His smile was slow and it felt like it held some kind of promise, which was mad, because of course it didn’t really.
‘And then you thread it through,’ she said.
Dan took the daisies back from her and their hands brushed again. He lifted a finger and brushed her cheek.
‘There was a small insect,’ he said, his voice husky.
‘Thank you,’ Evie said, her voice pretty husky too.
His eyes had gone to her mouth, like they did the time they kissed outside her house. Oh, God. Every part of her was aware of him. If he actually touched her again she might jump a mile. Or melt.
Twenty-Five
Then – July 2021
Dan
Dan’s heart rate had picked up way more than playing with daisies warranted. Right now, he’d kill to be able to reach out and kiss Evie. But Sasha, Max and Greggy were right over there and of course neither of them wanted to kiss or anything else in front of them.
Evie moved herself backwards slightly, and glanced over her shoulder at the others, presumably struck by the same thought at the same moment.
‘So now that you’re a flower-necklace-making expert,’ she said, ‘maybe we should go and join in with the others.’
‘Absolutely.’ Dan didn’t like doing any kind of exercise with Max, but just now it felt like the lesser of two evils. He jumped to his feet and held a hand out to Evie. Her hand fitted so well in his. He could ask her if she’d like to meet up some time, and he was pretty sure that, if she said yes, they’d have a great time together.
He was also pretty sure that he could get to like her far too much – maybe already did – and that there’d be huge potential to get hurt if they started something. Far too big a risk.
‘Race you over there,’ he said, indicating the others with his head.
‘Are you joking?’ Evie said. ‘That is so unfair. I’d smash you if we had a race.’ She started jogging very slowly. Dan laughed – you couldn’t grow up in the same village as Evie and not know how much she hated running – and joined her.
‘Yasssssssss,’ crowed Evie half an hour later, dancing gleefully around the goal they’d made with jumpers.
‘That was a total mis-kick,’ Dan said from the middle of the goal, folding his arms across his chest.
‘It was not,’ said Evie, still dancing. ‘It was pure calculation. Either I’m very talented or you’re a rubbish goalie. Or both.’
Dan laughed and shook his head. What he wanted to do was join in with her ridiculous dancing, because it just looked so much fun.
Evie finally stopped the dancing and said, ‘I think we might need to get going soon, Sasha, otherwise we’ll be late for the theatre, unless the journey home’s a lot shorter than it was on the way here.’ She looked at the others and said, ‘We’re going into town to see Hairspray.’
‘Wow,’ said Greggy. ‘How did you get the tickets? I hear they’re like gold dust. I mean, are you sleeping with the producer?’
‘Yeah, totally,’ Evie said, and, even though he knew it was a joke and that her love life was nothing to do with him, Dan felt a stab of pure jealousy at the thought of Evie sleeping with anyone. Insane. ‘Friends in very high places. No, it was a present from all the parents at school at the end of the year.’
As they packed all the picnic gear away, Dan reflected that this had been the most relaxed he’d been around Max for years. That would be the presence of Greggy, and also Evie.
They all wandered back to the car park together, chatting and laughing.
‘So this is us,’ said Evie, stopping in front of a remarkably clapped-out green Renault Clio parked expertly in a tiny space. ‘You’ll be astonished to hear that this is the car that broke down that time you gave me a lift to Melting.’
‘I am astonished,’ said Dan, laughing. Astonished that the car still worked at all. It made his own ten-year-old VW Golf look like a high-performance luxury sports car.
‘This car,’ said Evie, ‘is remarkable. It’s actually one year older than me. And still genuinely drives like a dream, occasionally.’
‘Wow.’ Dan nodded. ‘I don’t think I should say anything else because I don’t want to offend you.’
‘Honestly,’ Evie said. She got her – very dented – boot open on the third attempt and she and Sasha chucked their blanket and picnic bag in. ‘So it was lovely to see you all.’
She hugged and air-kissed Max and Greggy, while Dan hugged Sasha, and then Evie turned to Dan. They both hesitated for a moment and then simultaneously went in for a hug. If the other three hadn’t been standing next
to them, Dan would have really struggled not to bury his face in Evie’s hair and inhale far too deeply.
She felt good pressed against him for the brief moment of their hug.
‘Goodbye, then,’ she said. He really wanted to ask her if she’d like to meet up sometime. But he really didn’t want to get hurt or to lose Evie as a friend when things didn’t work out.
‘Bye,’ he said. ‘Great to see you. Ignore Sasha’s directions on the way back.’
* * *
That evening, while Sasha and Evie were at their big theatre evening, as evidenced by a constant stream of Facebook updates from Sasha, Dan had four friends – the maximum he could seat in his flat – over to watch the cricket.
‘Good day today?’ Zubin asked him.
‘Yeah, it was actually. Picnic with my brother and his partner and one of my sisters and her best friend. Really nice day.’
‘You getting a bit closer to your brother?’ Zubin took the lid off a bottle of Corona. Dan had told him once, when they were at uni, that he’d felt awkward around Max since the accident, which was more than he ever told most people. He hadn’t told him the full story, because he never told anyone the full story.
‘Yeah, little bit.’ Not really at all. Although today had genuinely been nice. ‘What about you? See the kids today?’
‘Yep. Took them to their football matches this morning and then swimming this afternoon. The little one’s five tomorrow and I can’t see him because his mother’s taking him to her parents’. Bit of a killer, if I’m honest.’
‘I’m so sorry, mate.’ Dan squeezed Zubin’s shoulder in sympathy. This was why you were better off not getting into romantic relationships. They caused a lot of hurt.
Twenty-Six
Now – August 2022