by Lovett, Jo
Hmm. There was maybe something in that.
* * *
Evie made sure that she was out all day Sunday because she did not want to sit around for hours waiting for Dan to deliver his letter only for him not to turn up.
She got home late afternoon from a long walk on the common with Mia to discover an envelope with ‘Evie’ written on it in decisive-looking navy handwriting on the front door mat. Her heart started racing just at the sight of it. It had to be Dan’s letter.
‘Cup of tea?’ Mia asked.
‘Cool, thanks,’ Evie said. ‘I’ll be there in two minutes.’ She went straight into her bedroom and closed the door and sat down on her bed to open the letter.
Dear Evie,
I don’t really know where to start other than to say that I love you and I’m so sorry for messing up.
I love everything about you. I love the way you throw yourself into every dance. I love that you’re such a loyal friend. I love that you’re a fairground hustler. I love your sense of humour. I love talking to you. I love that you can’t help yourself tidying up around people. I love YOU. (And you’re gorgeous but I’m not sure if it’s acceptable to say that in writing.)
I messed up. I got scared. As you know, I spent a lot of years seeing my mum get hurt by my dad and being hurt by him myself. I realised that I’d fallen in love with you and I got scared that loving people was dangerous, in that there’s so much potential for pain.
I realise now that in trying to protect myself, and you, I’ve just ended up hurting us both.
I’d love to try again.
Obviously you might not feel the same way.
But I wondered if you’d like to meet for a walk in Melting next week?
All my love,
Dan
Evie re-read the letter and then folded it up very carefully and put it back in the envelope, and then put the envelope on her bedside table.
She knew what he meant when he said that loving people was dangerous, because of the potential for hurt, because that was exactly how she felt about loving him. She didn’t want to be like her mum, involved in a series of messy relationships and frequently devastated. But Dan wasn’t like the men that her mum tended to hook up with.
It probably wouldn’t hurt to meet him for a walk.
Forty
Now – December 2022
Dan
‘It’s the village carol singing this evening,’ Dan’s mum said, handing him the cup of tea she’d made him while he unpacked his car.
He looked at her. Village carols were a big thing and the date was arranged weeks in advance. She was very over-nonchalantly putting biscuits on a plate for him.
‘Did you happen to forget to mention them to me on purpose so that I wouldn’t postpone my arrival until tomorrow?’ he said.
‘Well, obviously,’ she said, laughing. ‘But since you’re here, you might as well come if you have no other plans?’
Dan rolled his eyes at her but said, ‘I’d love to.’ He did not particularly love carol singing and he did not love the interrogation about every minute aspect of his life from people like Mrs Bird – if you sang carols for her she would chat to you on her doorstep for ages – but he did love his mother and he knew she’d love him to go.
He wondered if Evie would be there. They’d had a brief text conversation in response to his letter, and had agreed to meet for a walk tomorrow, but he didn’t know what else she was doing over Christmas.
Evie, Jenny and Autumn turned up a few minutes after Dan and his mum had joined the others under the mistletoe tree in the middle of the green, just as Dan was starting to think that they wouldn’t be coming.
Evie – looking gorgeous in a beret-style hat and scarf – gave Dan a small smile and put her hand up in a half-wave greeting but stayed on the other side of the group of about twenty people and began to talk very animatedly to Autumn. Sasha and Angus turned up shortly after them, and Sasha wanted to say hello to both their mum and Dan and Evie, which forced Evie and her mum and Autumn somewhat in Dan’s direction, but Evie still managed to stay far enough away from him that they couldn’t speak.
As they made their way from house to house singing all the old favourites, Dan was reminded several times of carols he and Evie had sung in the car together that time, and when he was nearish to her in the group, heard snatches of her clear voice ringing out. She was good on the high bits in ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’.
When they got to Mrs Bird’s house on the corner, Dan manoeuvred himself to the back of the group so that, hopefully, she wouldn’t see him and start with one of her interrogations. He looked round to see Evie fairly close to him, having clearly had the same thought. He smiled at her and she smiled back, and they just stood there, smiling stupidly, for ages.
Eventually, Dan took a step towards her and said, ‘So…’ and then Autumn popped up, having wriggled through the others, and said, ‘Evie, I’m cold.’
Evie looked down at her and then at Dan, and then said, her voice sounding a little bit odd, ‘Shall I take you home for some hot chocolate and a snuggle to warm you up?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘Why don’t I take her?’ Jenny’s friend Grant stepped forward.
‘That’s really kind,’ said Evie, ‘but, honestly, I’m very happy to. I’m going to enjoy our hot chocolate.’ Maybe she was glad of the excuse to get away from Dan. Or maybe that was really self-obsessed of him and she really did want hot chocolate now, or she wanted to give her mum and Grant the opportunity to spend some time together. Everyone had been waiting – in vain – for years for Jenny and Grant to realise that they were the perfect couple. Evie took Autumn’s hand and said, ‘Come on. Night, everyone. Sing your hearts out for us. Happy Christmas in case we don’t see you.’
And then off they walked up the lane, and Dan felt ridiculously disappointed even though he knew he was seeing her tomorrow for their walk.
* * *
Dan clapped his hands together and stamped his feet. It was a lot colder than it had been yesterday evening and it now looked like the forecasters were right and there was a very good chance that there was going to be a white Christmas. Evie would have to be well scarfed-up in this weather.
What if she didn’t turn up?
She would turn up.
He checked his phone. She was three minutes late.
God, maybe she actually wouldn’t come. No, Evie would never do that. Probably just busy choosing which scarf would be the best for this exact temperature.
Seriously. He was smiling just thinking about her. He shouldn’t smile. At best, they were going to have a lot of talking, sorting things out, to do. There was a good chance things wouldn’t work out between them.
Right. He was going to walk round the green while he waited.
One full lap. He really hoped she was coming.
Nearly a second full lap. But maybe that was her coming round the corner of her lane. Yes, it was.
‘Hey, Evie.’ He started to walk towards her over the green, grinning as he went, even though maybe things weren’t going to be okay. It was just so good to see her.
‘Hi, Dan.’ God, he loved her smile, even when it was only a small one as it was at the moment. He hoped the smile was going to grow.
‘It’s great to see you,’ he said, when they got close to each other. ‘I like your scarf.’ It was a nice pale-blue colour and very soft-looking.
‘Thank you. Good to see you too.’
‘Shall we walk? To keep warm? The path by the stream?’
‘Lovely.’
Dan really wasn’t sure of the etiquette in this kind of situation. Go straight in with what he wanted to say or attempt a bit of small talk first? So far, it was all a bit weirdly polite.
‘Probably going to be a white Christmas,’ he said.
‘Yeah. I think so. Pretty sure you used to be cynical about white Christmases.’
‘Not all white Christmases,’ Dan said, pleased that Evie remembered that
conversation. So did he. ‘Just ones when it’s fifteen degrees and it would take a miracle for snow to fall. Rational, not cynical. Today it’s bloody freezing and every so often we’re already getting a flurry of snow.’
‘And the weather forecast said it’s going to snow in the Cotswolds on Christmas Day.’
‘Exactly.’ Dan nodded. There was a bit of silence. ‘Not sure whether we’ll get a white New Year, though.’ So lame to be continuing with the weather chat, but he felt really awkward right now. He wasn’t sure how to start the conversation they needed to have, and he wasn’t sure what to say to make sure it went okay.
‘Probably not.’
‘Now who’s being cynical?’
Evie laughed.
They rounded the corner by the church and started down the path that led to the stream. Dan suddenly didn’t want to waste any more time. But he didn’t want to run the risk of being interrupted during their conversation, and he could see the vicar, Laura, in the distance. She held up a hand and waved, and they both waved back. And he carried on saying nothing and so did Evie.
A few minutes later, they were wandering along by the stream, and definitely alone.
‘So,’ Dan said. Oh, God, no. Now he was panicking. Although, she’d agreed to meet him after his letter. She wouldn’t have done, surely, just to tell him she didn’t want to talk.
He was just going to dive straight in. ‘You know when we made our mistletoe pact,’ he said. ‘I think I always knew, even then, that I wanted to be with you. I mean, yes, it was a joke, but there was something there. And the same when we got married in Vegas. Again, yes, we were drunk and it was a stupid thing to do, but from my side I don’t think I’d have done it if I hadn’t actually wanted to be with you. But I always thought that we couldn’t be together, because it was too scary. Because if you love someone you can both get hurt. But it really hurts not being around you. I love you, Evie. I’m so sorry for having messed up and got scared.’
He stopped talking and waited.
And nothing. For ages. Oh, God.
He couldn’t even see Evie’s face properly because they were walking next to each other and she was all wrapped up in her hat and scarf.
Then she said, ‘I love you too. I think I always have.’
Yessss. Yessss.
He really hadn’t expected her to say that.
‘Wow,’ he said. He stopped walking and Evie stopped too. ‘Can we try again?’
Evie looked at him for what felt like another near-eternity, and then she began to smile. And Dan’s heart began to beat a lot faster.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Let’s take it very slowly. One step at a time. Nothing scary.’
She took a step towards him. He put his arms out and she moved straight into them and, very slowly, his eyes on hers the whole time, he lowered his lips to hers. He was pretty sure that she was wrong about nothing scary. It would always be scary when you loved someone this much. But good-scary, rather than miserable-lonely.
* * *
A long time later, they were still there, and cold wet stuff was falling on them.
‘White Christmas,’ Evie said. ‘Just for us.’
Dan smiled at her. ‘Come on. Let’s walk.’
They walked along hand in hand, stopping fairly often to kiss. It was a great walk. No, better than great. Perfect.
They stopped again for another kiss under the mistletoe tree in the middle of the green.
‘I’m pretty sure Mrs Bird’s watching,’ Evie said eventually.
‘I don’t care,’ Dan said. He kissed her again. ‘I love you, Evie Green.’
Epilogue
Now - One year later
Evie
‘Come here.’ Evie’s mum held out her arms and Evie stepped into them, cautiously, for a non-squishy hug. They’d spent a long time getting ready this morning and they didn’t need a crushed dress or ruined hairdo disaster at this point. ‘You look beautiful, Evie.’
‘You look beautiful, too, Mum.’ Evie blinked away sudden tears. This was huge. Well, obviously. Getting married to the right person was, ideally, a one-off, for life.
‘And me,’ said Autumn.
‘Yes, of course you too,’ their mum said.
Autumn, looking fairy-tale gorgeous in her bridesmaid’s dress, did a big pirouette and then ran in for a group hug.
‘Careful,’ screeched Evie and her mum in unison and they all held hands in a little circle instead.
‘I love you,’ Evie’s mum told her daughters.
‘Love you too,’ they both said.
‘Right. Ready?’ Evie’s mum finished smoothing Evie’s dress where Autumn had creased it slightly, and then held her arm out.
‘Wait.’ Evie rearranged her mum’s jacket from where it had been knocked lopsided. ‘There. Yes. Ready. Deep breaths all round.’ She blinked back yet more threatened tears – thank goodness for waterproof mascara – and took her mum’s arm and checked over her shoulder that Autumn was in position behind them, and they started walking down the aisle, to a very shaky organ performance from Mrs Bird of Wagner’s ‘Bridal Chorus’.
Sasha, Lucie, Fiona and another couple of friends from the village had done an amazing job of decorating the church in holly, ivy, berries and twiggy things for the perfect Christmas wedding backdrop.
The church was rammed with guests, all glammed up in Bridgerton-themed outfits, put together with a fair amount of historical inaccuracy but a lot of enthusiasm, many of them wearing hats made by Evie’s mum, who’d been in millinery overdrive for the past few months, and all beaming at them as they processed past.
And there was the groom, turned to greet them, his face splitting into the most gorgeous grin.
‘You look stunning,’ he mouthed as they arrived at the front of the church. He didn’t look bad himself in his tight Regency trousers, shirt, waistcoat and jacket.
Evie felt happy tears pricking her eyes again. This mascara had cost a fortune, but it was going to have been worth every penny if she didn’t end up with panda rings on her face by the end of today.
‘I love you,’ she whispered to her mum, and then let go of her arm and took her seat on the front pew next to Autumn, while their mum moved to stand next to her about-to-be-husband, Grant, and Laura, the vicar, began the service.
Evie looked over at Dan, looking very handsome as a slightly reluctantly garbed Regency gentleman, sitting on the other side of Autumn and holding a wriggling toddler Katie, and smiled at him. She felt like her heart was going to burst with joy watching her mum finally make it official with the only man Evie had ever met who she thought could make her mum happy. And it was even better having Dan here to enjoy the day with.
* * *
Six hours later, Sasha did a massive yawn, patted her tummy and said, ‘I’ve got to go to bed now. Pregnancy’s really hard work when the baby’s pressed up against your lungs and down against your bladder. Where are the kids?’
Sasha was eight months pregnant and exhausted, and had volunteered to babysit Autumn and Katie in Evie’s mum’s house while all the adults partied in the marquee in Sasha’s mum’s garden. Evie’s mum and Grant had been planning to organise the reception themselves in Grant’s pub until Sasha’s mum had insisted that she wanted to host her best friend’s reception, and surely Jenny and Grant didn’t want to do a busman’s holiday pub evening. Sasha’s mum was staying with her new partner, Doug, the architect who’d asked her out a good year ago, and who she’d eventually started going out with on Valentine’s Day this year, and Evie’s mum and Grant were staying in Sasha’s mum’s house tonight before going on a Christmas honeymoon tomorrow, while Evie and Dan looked after Autumn.
Evie wasn’t totally sure that Fiona had bargained for full-on Bridgerton, but once she’d got her head round it, she’d embraced it, like all the guests had.
When Dan got back from settling Katie in her travel cot in the cottage, Evie was in the middle of a square dance partnered by Grant’s brother. She caught sight of
Dan on the other side of the marquee and got the little heart flutter she always got when she saw him after any time apart, even after a year very much together.
When the dance ended, they threaded their way across the floor to each other, beaming away, like there were no other people around them, and Evie walked into Dan’s arms as the band struck up a waltz.
* * *
The party finally wound up at around one thirty. Evie and Dan watched Mrs Bird accept the offer of a walk across the green with her Zimmer frame and Albert Fox, the elderly neighbour she’d spent the entire evening dancing with.
‘Look at those two. Seems like it’s never too late for love to blossom.’ Dan looped his arm round Evie’s shoulders and pulled her in towards him and kissed her.
‘I know. It’s like there’s something in the Melting water. First my mum and Grant, then your mum and Doug. And now Mrs Bird and Albert.’
‘I want us to grow old together,’ Dan said as they began to stroll across the night-frosted green themselves.
‘Me too,’ Evie said, going all warm and fuzzy inside. It felt like it might be time for her big question.
‘Pitstop on the bench for old time’s sake?’
They sat down close together, Dan’s arm still round Evie’s shoulders, and her hand resting on his thigh.
‘You fancy making it official us living together?’ he asked. They’d spent almost every night together for the past year, which had been amazing. ‘I’ve loved this year. Big things, like just being with you, and smaller things, like eating more healthily and sleeping well. I feel like we’re good for each other.’