Goose bumps of fright mingle with bumps of cold until there’s no distinguishing the two. My chest tightens. Oh God, no. Please. Don’t let me freak out in here.
You’re not alone. My subconscious thrusts into my mind.
I’m not alone. I have Reece.
I wish that knowledge filled me with more reassurance. I wish he didn’t find me so repugnant. I wish I’d been nicer to him. He risked his life to save me and I repaid him by shoving him into a wall and screaming at him.
Way to go, Julia.
We continue to drive. The cold permeates every inch of my body until my violent shivering stops and sleepiness creeps in. Something needles my consciousness not to go to sleep. Stay awake. We’re almost there.
The car hits a bump and my body bounces and hits the lid. Stay awake.
I realize the car has stopped. The lid pops open flooding the trunk with a dull light, slipping through the cracks of my eyelids.
“Okay, let’s go.”
I force my eyes to open. Reece stands in front of me, but the room is darkly lit. Although I can’t see his face, I recognize his voice. I try to sit, but my arms are too heavy to push me up.
“Julia. We don’t have all day.”
I hear his irritation and really want to get out, I just can’t get my arms and legs to cooperate.
“Julia?” His voice raises in alarm.
“I’m trying.” I mumble, the words slurring.
He leans over, pulls off the blanket, and grabs my hand. “You’re freezing! Can you get up?”
I try to shake my head, utterly embarrassed. “No.”
His arm scoops under my legs and swings them over the edge of the trunk. He tugs my upper body out, making sure my head doesn’t hit the lid. Violent shivering takes over my body.
“I’m sorry it took so long. My dad was late leaving for work this morning.” Reece puts his arm around my back. “Can you walk?”
“Yeah,” I rise off the trunk edge but can’t feel my feet. My legs give out and he catches me in his arms, setting me back on the edge of the trunk.
“I’m sorry.” I shift my eyes to avoid looking at him and scan the room, surprised to see we’re in a garage. “Where are we?”
“My house. My dad works forty-eight-hour shifts at the hospital and he just started one this morning so we have until the day after tomorrow.” He rubs his face as he looks at me then to a door. “I have to get you inside. Put your arm around my shoulders and I’ll help you in.”
“My feet are so cold I can’t feel them.” I’m thankful my mouth seems to be working now even if my teeth chatter.
He lifts my arm over his shoulders and holds onto my hand. “Okay, let’s try this.” He wraps his other arm around my waist and hoists me up.
I lean into his side, soaking in his warmth. I take a step and start to sag, but his hand pulls on my arm over his shoulder and the arm around my waist tightens.
“I’m sorry. I’m not usually this needy.” I mutter in embarrassment.
Reece laughs, a rich throaty sound that echoes off the concert floor. We take a couple more steps. “Could have fooled me.”
“You caught me on a bad day.”
He laughs again. The satisfaction from making him laugh catches me by surprise. “I think that’s the understatement of the century.”
We take several more steps. “Are you sure it’s really 2011 here? It seems so futuristic.”
“You didn’t time-travel, only moved to an alternate universe.” He sounds condescending, as though I’m stupid to not realize the difference.
“Only.”
“Well…” He stops in front of two steps up to the door. “Hang on.” He holds tight to my hand and takes a step up, dragging me up the stair with him.
I silently curse my frozen feet. I hate that I can’t walk on my own.
Reece climbs the next step and lets go of my waist to open the doorknob. I put more weight on my legs, happy to discover I can now stand.
As we enter the house, I sneak a glance at him, curious. I can’t help but compare him to the Reece I know. Well, sort of know. He’s the same height, shorter than Evan but taller than me, not a hard feat to accomplish.
He sits me on a sofa upholstered in the softest fabric I’d ever felt. I sink back into the cushions while Reece leaves the room, then comes back with a blanket. He tosses it over my lap then kneels down to tuck it in around me.
“Thank you.”
He looks up, the hood still covering his head. The dark gray fabric clings to the sides of his cheeks, encircling his face. He’s paler here, but everyone is. His eyes seem greener, which is odd until I think about the startling blue of Evan’s eyes. This Reece doesn’t have the freckles the other Reece does, but the differences appear more than physical.
“You’re more serious.”
He freezes, his hand still tucking the blanket under my leg. His intense gaze watches me as he waits.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re the only person here I actually know in the real world.” I shake my head. “I mean my world. It’s odd seeing you here as someone else when I know you back home.”
He leans back on his heels, the surprise evident on his face. He swallows nervously. “Evan?” The word comes out scratchy. He clears his throat. “You didn’t know him there?”
“No, not really. He was popular.” I twist my mouth. “And I wasn’t. I saw him but never spoke to him.”
His eyes soften. “And me? How did you know me?”
To my horror, a new round of shivering breaks loose and my teeth clatter.
Reece stands. “I’ll be right back.”
He leaves and comes back with a white mug. He sits beside me and hands it to me. “It’s hot tea. My mom used to drink it. I thought it might help warm you up.”
I uncover my arms and take the mug, absorbing the heat into the palms of my hands. The warmth flows down my throat, warming my insides.
“Thank you.” I take another sip. “This is really good. Probably the best thing I’ve had here so far.”
“Really?”
The way his face lights up with smug pride reminds me of the Reece from my world. For some reason, I’m suddenly curious to know what his hair looks like. Without thinking, I lift my hand to his head and slip the hood down, my fingers brushing his hair.
His eyes burn, studying me.
“Your hair is shorter,” I murmur. “And darker, which makes sense, I guess. Your hair in my world looked sun-streaked and you’re not in the sun here.”
“Sun-streaked?”
“You know, when you’re in the sun so much it lightens your hair.” My hand’s still on his head. My eyes widen in horror and I pull it back abruptly, sloshing my tea. It spills over the rim, leaving an orange splotch on the blanket. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’ll wash out.”
I didn’t mean the tea.
“I can’t imagine being out in the sun. Doesn’t it burn?”
“What?” His question pulls me out of my stupor. I’m still thinking about touching his head. “It can, if you stay out in it too long or if it’s a really hot day, but most of the time it feels good, comforting. I can’t imagine living without it.” I bite my lips, realizing what I said. “I’m sorry. That was a terrible thing to say when you live without it your whole life.”
He watches me for a moment. “You’re different, too.”
“Really? I’m not sure Evan really sees me, only her.”
When he hears Evan’s name, he stiffens and the emotion on his face shuts down to indifference. I’m not ready to lose this connection with him.
“You asked how I knew you. Do you still want to know?”
“Yeah.” The shyness in his voice surprises me.
I sink back into the sofa. It’s my turn to feel bashful. I scrunch up my nose. “I only met you a week ago. I guess it was a week ago since I’ve lost track of time. Anyway, it was just days before I left.” That’s an odd way to put it. Left.
> “You only knew me a few days?” He sounds surprised.
“Yeah, the first time was when someone pushed me into a wall at school and you helped me pick up my papers.”
“And?”
It seems so long ago, a lifetime ago, but it’s only been days. How is that possible? The corners of my mouth lift into a grin. “And you thought I was a complete idiot.”
He smirks. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Trust me, it’s true.” I laugh and tilt my head. “I can’t say I blame you. Then I saw you later that day, after school. I’d just missed the bus and you offered me a ride home since I had all my books… it was so weird because I’d just met you, yet I had this feeling I’d been with you before.”
He’s silent, watching my face.
I smile and a weird tingly feeling spreads through my chest. “Then you made up some bogus rules to help me survive my new school. Like ‘don’t let them see you’re scared’ and ‘don’t lose yourself.’”
“Then what?” He asks, his voice lower.
“Then you took me home.”
“Was that it?”
I stare into his hopeful face. Should I tell him more? It wasn’t him. I wasn’t the Julia he and Evan knew. I sigh. “You called me the next day. I was really surprised. Honestly, I knew I wasn’t your type, but it made me happy especially after what happened with Evan.”
“What happened with Evan?”
What happened with Evan reminds me of the situation I’m in. “Never mind.”
He stares at his lap. “Did you like me there?”
Did I? There was something there, I can’t deny it. “Yeah, I liked you.”
He looks up, with an arrogant smile. He looks shockingly like the Reece in my world. Why does that warm my heart so much?
My feet begin to tingle and I shift to tap them on the floor. “But it wasn’t you. And I’m not her. So in the end, none of it matters.”
“No, I’m not him and you’re not her.” Sadness laces his words.
I groan. “Everything is such a mess and so confusing.”
“This is Evan’s area of expertise, not mine. He thinks we’re basically the same, no matter what world we live in, we’re born who we are. But I’m not so sure. I think that experiences shape us into who we become. You know, the whole nature versus nurture.”
We sit in silence as I tap my feet into the rug under my feet. Feeling has begun to return, bringing pins and needles with it. “That doesn’t explain why I couldn’t draw a stick person before the accident, and then I could draw really well after. It’s like somehow I absorbed your Julia’s artistic talent.”
His eyes narrow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“After the accident I began to draw, only it was mess of doodles and squiggles. Evan was the one to pick out the Celtic love knot.” I ignore his scowl and continue. “Then I realized I was also drawing his name.”
He shifts in his seat, then stands. “Look, I don’t need to hear anymore about how much she loved him, okay? I’ve heard enough to last a lifetime.” He starts to walk into the kitchen.
“But why did I draw your name too?”
He stops and slowly turns to face me.
“I’ve been drawing both your names for months, before I even knew either of you.”
His shoulders twitch.
“Why would I draw both of your names?”
His eyes burn with anger and confusion. “How the hell would I know? Why don’t you ask your boyfriend? He seems to think he has all the answers to everything. He said he was going to find you and bring you back,” he waves his hand in my direction. “And looky there, he did. Only he neglected to think about what was going to happen to you once you came back.” He tugs his hand through his hair with a growl and sits, releasing a heavy breath of air. “And so did I.”
Evan said he just came to see me, not to bring me back. My head swims with dismay. He lied. My mind latches onto something else Reece said. “Wait a minute. You helped him cross over?”
He laughs with snort. “Somebody had to. He couldn’t do it on his own.”
“Why would you help him?”
His eyes are glassy as he presses his lips together. “Because I loved you too, in spite of everything, and when he said you were alive on the other side and he was going to get you, I decided I had to know for sure.”
“Know what?”
“Whether you loved me or not.”
“Oh, Reece…”
“It’s okay. I saw you two together. I know you picked him.”
“But I don’t love him. I like him, but I think he still sees her, not me. He gave me hope, something I’d been missing for so long. But then you, I mean the other Reece talked to me and…” I groan leaning back. My feet feel like they’re on fire and I stomp them on the floor.
“What’s wrong?”
“My feet are warming up and they hurt.” To my aggravation, my eyes fill with tears.
He leans down and pulls my feet into his lap. Pressed between his warm hands, the pain increases.
I can’t hold back the tears.
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I should have been nicer to you this morning.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper. You didn’t have to risk your life to help me.”
“I had to. I was partially responsible for you being here. I couldn’t let you die twice.”
Tears stream down my face. “No more guilt.” I look into his eyes, which have softened. “There’s too much guilt. No more.”
His hand reaches for my cheek, hesitating before his fingers touch.
I hold my breath, surprised at the jittering in my stomach.
His fingers are warm and send chills down my spine. “Don’t cry.” His thumb wipes a tear. “I don’t want to be the one to make you cry.”
His words only bring more tears and his eyes close as he looks defeated.
“I’m sorry,” I sputter.
His eyelids open, green eyes swimming with emotion. He pulls me onto his lap, wrapping an arm around my back. “Don’t say sorry. No more guilt. It’s your rule,” he murmurs in my ear. His breath tickles the hair on my neck. Goosebumps break out over my skin.
I soak in his warmth and try to ignore the way my heart flip-flops. I like Evan, not Reece. Or do I? I think about Evan kissing me just a short time ago and risking his life to save me. I burn with shame.
Suddenly, everything’s too much, the way I feel with Reece, how close I’ve come to dying, the terror of the last few days. He pulls my head into the crook of his neck and rubs my arm.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Nothing is okay.”
“I’m gonna try and make it okay. So is Evan.”
“No. I can’t live with myself if something happens to you or Evan. Monica’s death almost killed me. I can’t let anything happen to anyone else.”
He leans my head back, his hand cupping my cheek. His eyes burn with something I don’t recognize. “And you think I can let something happen to you?”
My cheek is on fire where he touches, my body following close behind. I struggle to catch my breath, let alone think. “I’m not her.” But for a moment, I wish I was. That I could have not one, but two boys love me when two weeks ago I had no one.
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his hand trails down to the side of my neck. “I’m well aware of that.” His face hovers over mine.
I freeze, staring at his lips. The breath in my chest grows stale, begging for release. My mind rails in debate. Is he going to kiss me? Do I want him to kiss me?
Right or wrong, I do.
The shame of it slams me hard. My breath releases in a whoosh, past my lips as Reece watches.
I stare into his eyes. I want this. And so does he.
His hand slips from my neck and threads through my hair. He lifts my head toward him, agonizingly slow.
He’s giving me a chance to back out.
In
stead, I feather my fingers on his cheek, amazed at how soft his skin is under my fingertips.
His eyes widened in surprise before lowering his lips to mine.
When they touch, a thousand butterflies take flight. His hand tightens in my hair, smashing my lips into his and I welcome it. I’m falling. I’m flying. I’m both at the same time.
To my disappointment, he pulls back. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he whispers.
My heart stops. It wasn’t me. He wasn’t kissing me.
I sit up, my back rigid, treacherous tears burning my eyes. “I’m not her, Reece.” My words are sharp and nip at his ego.
“I know that, Julia.”
“Do you? How could you have wanted to kiss me for so long when you just met me an hour ago.”
It hits me then. I met him an hour ago. What possessed me to kiss him? What about Evan?
I jump off his lap in horror. My mother was right. I am a slut. What is wrong with me?
He groans, dropping his face into his hands. “Julia….”
I wipe the tears off my face. “It’s okay. How could you not think I was her? You probably knew her for years. You hardly know me.” That explains his reaction. What explains mine?
“Julia…”
“Let’s just forget this ever happened, okay? You made a mistake. I don’t blame you. I’m not mad. I promise. Where’s the bathroom?”
He stands, his hands clench and unclench at his side as he struggles with what to say.
“Bathroom?”
“Down the hall and to the right. There’s a towel in there if you want to take a shower.”
“Thanks.” I run to the bathroom. Once I cross the threshold, I lean my back against the door and burst into sobs, covering my mouth to quiet the sound.
“Julia?” Reece’s muffled words come through the door.
I hurry to the shower, which looks like the ones back home, and turn on the water, drowning out his voice. I sink to the floor.
What did I do?
The sound of the water grabs my attention, and I stand, stripping off my clothes. I hope they burn things here, because I never want to see them again.
I step into the shower, welcoming the warm spray. I haven’t showered since my decontamination, if you can call that a shower. I find shampoo and conditioner and lather my hair as my tears flow.
Here Page 20