by Hazel Kelly
And when the sleep was eventually swept from my eyes and the dust well and truly settled, Alex would be gone. And he’d be nothing but a memory all over again.
Because the chubby girl with the smart shoes doesn’t get the guy in the end.
She’s lucky if she ever has the kind of sex I had last night.
Ugh. Now there was a depressing thought.
On the plus side, I felt energized by my new perspective, which was that I should just enjoy the situation while it lasted and not take everything so seriously. Why stress about whether he really loved me or not when it was just an expletive he’d blurted post-orgasm because his release was so sweet?
Besides, a fling between boss and employee might be forgivable. God knows men got away with it all the time. So why not me?
As long as he was fine with it, why shouldn’t we have some harmless fun?
Except, as much as I tried to convince myself it was harmless, I knew it wasn’t.
My heart was too fragile for any relationship to be harmless. And my life? Well, it was like a sweater with so many loose strings it could unravel any minute, leaving me completely exposed.
And that was the cold, hard truth. I was too vulnerable to play fuckbuddies with this boy I’d crushed on since the first time his eyes fell to my neck.
And no matter how hard I wracked my imagination, I couldn’t envision an ending where I wasn’t hurt all over again.
Except when it came to Alex, the bruises would be internal, and they would be deep.
Who knows if I’d ever recover?
All I knew was that love—if that was what this was—couldn’t be trusted.
T H I R T Y F I V E
- Alex -
Things had gotten out of hand.
I could tell by the look on Gemma’s face when she crept back in the room. Her soft smile looked forced, self-conscious.
I sat up against the pillows, and her narrow comforter fell to my waist. What the hell did a guy have to do to get a girl to loosen up, for chrissakes? My mind flashed back to the almost cross-eyed gaze she had after I fingered her ass, my chest swelling with pride at the memory of having made her feel so good.
What could possibly have gone wrong since then?
She closed the door softly. “Good morning.”
Something stirred in me when I noticed the way her short robe cut across her pale thighs, and then I remembered. I’d uttered the L-word. So she had heard it. ’Course she fucking did. Women didn’t not hear that. “Good morning.”
Her fresh face searched mine.
“Come here,” I said, patting the bed.
She sat down and angled her body towards me.
I reached in the front of her robe and groped her breast, rolling her nipple between my fingers.
She swallowed. “I have to open today.”
“Call André and have him do it,” I said, dropping my hand and sliding it between her thighs.
“Alex.”
“I like it when you say my name.”
“Jeanie,” she mouthed, pointing at the wall beside us.
“You’ll have to be quiet then, won’t you?” I said, keeping my eyes on hers as I traced her slit with my fingertips.
She bit her lip, and something flashed in her eyes. Doubt, perhaps?
“Come here,” I said, dragging her body over mine.
She relaxed against me, and I reached my hands in her robe, sliding one down between her legs and the other across her breasts, pinning them beneath my forearm.
As soon as I curled my fingers inside her, she writhed against me and sank towards my knuckles.
I looked down at her closed eyes and her gently parted lips, my need for her growing as I watched the subtle flickers of her expression. Was I merely addicted to pleasuring this woman, or did I really love her?
“Oh.” Her hands stopped my wrist. “That’s a little sore.”
My face fell.
“In a good way,” she added, her lashes batting up at me.
“Shhh.” I nodded towards the wall.
She smiled and ground her hips against my swollen cock, urging me on.
I rubbed her soft bud, pleasuring her with a regrettable urgency so she could come before work.
“Yes,” she whimpered, writhing against me as she gripped the arm I was fucking her with. “Right there.”
I longed to feel her come on my dick, longed to feel the way her pussy squeezed me so tight.
“Wait,” she panted.
I froze, trying not to think about how much my cock ached for release.
She rolled over and rose onto all fours. “Come with me.”
I pushed the blanket down, and she crawled over it, rising to her knees before she sank down on me, her robe open so her gorgeous body was on display.
I grabbed the belt of her robe with both hands and pulled it taut, driving her down my shaft.
Her eyelids fluttered as she stretched around me, her lips quivering as my dick forced the air from her lungs.
Then I pulled the belt so she fell forward.
She caught herself as her breasts hit my chest, her hair falling around my face.
And I knew.
They say you know when you know. And that’s when I knew.
I looked up at her as she rocked over me, and I saw my future. And I was happy.
She tucked some hair behind her ear, and I leaned up and kissed her, pulling her face close and pressing her lower back down, encouraging her to crush her clit against my surging cock.
“I’m going to come,” she whispered against my lips. “Come with me.”
I brushed a thumb across her cheek before raising my eyes to hers.
A moment later, her brow furrowed, and her body jerked, contracting like a wave all the way to her pussy.
When she shuddered again, I exploded and grabbed her hips, thrusting inside her with a primal groan.
She was still throbbing around my dick when she fell on my chest in a heap, her heart pounding against mine.
“I meant it,” I said, almost to myself as I laid a hand on the back of her head. “I do.”
T H I R T Y S I X
- Gemma -
This didn’t feel like a love I’d known before.
It was too light, too giddy.
It was everything I always wanted in high school and never had. The stolen moments, the cheeky gropes in dark corners, the knowing but supportive looks from the rest of the staff. Granted, I didn’t love that they knew, but after a week of me blushing every time someone saw me talking to Alex at work, it would’ve been naïve of me to think they didn’t.
But it wasn’t having any negative effects. If anything, the staff seemed extra focused knowing I had eyes on the floor. And Alex didn’t seem to mind.
Most importantly, it wasn’t interfering with his work. He was still hustling on the job and being supportive of me in my new role.
To be honest, I was happier than I’d ever been, and I felt a million miles away from the woman I used to be, the woman who stayed in that abusive relationship for so long and couldn’t see how much more she deserved.
I lifted the walkie-talkie on my desk. “André?”
“Boss,” he said a moment later.
“How many members are still on the floor?” I released the button on the side of the device and waited for his answer.
“About six,” he said. “Probably about the same for the locker rooms.”
“Thanks.” I glanced at the clock. “Let’s see if we can get organized enough to walk out with the members at ten.”
“Challenge accepted,” he said. “I’ll alert the troops.”
I smiled and set the walkie-talkie aside. The novelty of them hadn’t worn off, and I looked forward to getting them for the whole team someday. For now, though, only André had one so I could nurture him in his new role as floor manager, my previous position.
After all, I was determined to give the staff what Mary never did: encouragement, training, and a vision
for their future with the company.
I was reviewing the exercise class attendance rates when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.”
Alex stuck his head in.
I blushed like a fool. “What can I do for you?”
He closed the door behind him. “Get me one of those walkie-talkies, and I’ll tell you.”
“So dirty you can’t say it to my face, huh?”
“Says the woman who can barely make eye contact.”
My eyes flicked up at him, and my mind flashed back to the shower sex we’d had that morning, to the way the water streamed down his abs to where my lips were wrapped around his—
“We need to talk.”
His serious tone snapped me back to the present so fast I nearly got whiplash. “I was afraid this was coming.”
“Afraid what was coming?”
“Look—” I folded my arms on the desk. “I know I haven’t said it back yet—”
“Said what?”
“Never mind,” I said, feeling foolish.
“It’s not about that,” he said, reading my mind. “I haven’t been saying it because I need to hear it. I’ve been saying it because it’s true.”
I cocked my head.
“And because you blow my mind.” His eyes dropped to my chest before rising again.
“Shall I guess then?”
He clenched his jaw like he wasn’t really in the mood for games. “You’re not going to guess.”
I crinkled my nose. “Spoilsport.”
“Fine.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Guess.”
“You’re finally going to let me see your place?”
His glanced down at his feet. “I know that’s been bothering you.”
“I dropped enough hints.”
He folded his arms.
“You’re handing in your notice?”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Because you’re too distracted at this location?”
“Sort of.”
My face fell. “What? I was joking.”
“I haven’t been entirely upfront with you.”
My eyes grew wide. “About?”
He sighed. “About…everything.”
“What do you mean everything?”
“I mean—”
The walkie-talkie fuzzed to life beside me. “Gemma?”
Alex’s eyes dropped to the device.
My chest tightened, but I kept my attention on him. “Go on.”
“Gemma?” André asked again.
I stood up. “Actually, let’s talk after work. Whatever it is, your timing is all wrong.”
“Please, Gemma. I really need to tell you something.”
“Not now,” I said, fixing my eyes on him. “Not here.”
“Gemma? Are you there? Gemma? There’s a guy outside dumping trash all over your car.”
Alex turned on his heels and was fifteen paces ahead of me by the time I reached the front door.
Outside, André was already calling the cops while several gym members stood gaping at the scene.
“Hey!” Alex shouted across the parking lot.
Ray’s car was running a few spaces away from mine, and he was shaking a garbage bag over my hood when Alex grabbed him and threw the first punch.
I watched Ray stumble back, tripping over the trash at his feet before smacking into the side of my car and sliding to the ground.
I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that part of me wanted Alex to hit him again. Harder. Like he used to always hit me the second time. “Stop!” I yelled when Ray got up to throw a punch.
Alex ducked and grabbed his waist, slamming him into my car so hard I feared I’d have a Ray-shaped dent in my back door.
“Stop!” I screamed at both of them. “Please!”
I could barely watch as the violence escalated, terrified not only that harm would come to Alex but that there would be repercussions for any injuries Ray sustained. “Stop it!” I cried, André holding me back as Alex thrust an uppercut straight into Ray’s stomach.
Red and blue lights lit up the lot a moment later.
“This has nothing to do with you,” Ray panted from the ground.
Alex stood over him like a silverback gorilla, his stance wide and his shoulders square.
“We’ll take it from here,” a female officer said as she approached the space between the cars.
Alex looked like he was about to walk away, but he bent down to grab the half-empty garbage bag and dumped it over Ray’s head instead.
I stood frozen in place while one of the officers wrestled Ray onto his belly while the other ordered Alex to put his hands on the car.
They got cuffed at the same time.
“There’s been a mistake,” I said, rushing towards Alex, who was being led to one of the police cars. “He was only trying to help.”
“Taking the law into your own hands is an offense, ma’am.”
Don’t ma’am me! I thought, clenching my hands into tight fists. “Excuse me, but this is one of my employees, and I demand that you release him right now.”
“It’s fine, Gemma. Relax,” Alex said, his hands cuffed behind his back and his face redder than I’d ever seen it. “It’s just standard procedure.”
I could see a bruise coming up on his cheek and shot daggers at Ray across the parking lot.
“If you really want to help, ma’am, you can start by telling me who owns the premises.”
“I do,” Alex and I said at the same time.
The cop and I both looked at Alex.
“I own these premises,” he said again. “This is my gym.”
My brow furrowed. “That’s not true,” I said, searching his eyes to try and figure out why he would say such a thing.
“The man you need to be questioning is over there, though,” Alex said, nodding towards Ray. “This isn’t the first time he’s trashed this woman’s car.”
“This woman?!” I hissed.
“How about you leave the questioning to us,” the cop said, opening the back door of his cruiser and pushing Alex inside.
“I tried to tell you,” he said, his eyes on mine. “I wanted to sooner, but—”
The cop shut the door between us and went to check in with his partner, announcing on the way that he’d collect witness statements in a few minutes.
“I can explain,” Alex said, his voice muffled by the window between us.
I looked up to keep the tears in my eyes and glanced over my shoulder. André and three other employees were staring at me, their eyes full of pity. How could I have been so naïve? How could I have allowed myself to see only what I wanted to see all over again?
“Everything else is true,” he said through the glass.
I stared at him, feeling so foolish it felt like I was suddenly in my old, familiar skin.
His eyes pleaded with me. “I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
“Don’t,” I said, backing away. “Please don’t.”
T H I R T Y S E V E N
- Alex -
Jimmy didn’t say much after we got in the car, and I found his silence almost as depressing as the cell he’d just broken me out of.
“You want to come in?” I asked as he pulled into my driveway.
“Depends,” he said, the engine still running.
“On?”
“On whether you’re going to explain what the hell is going on with you or not.”
“And if I’d rather just have a quiet beer?”
“You can do that by yourself.”
I groaned and let myself out of the car.
He switched off the ignition and followed a moment later.
I punched in the code for the garage and watched my green Jag come into view, feeling bittersweet about the fact that I could drive it again. After all, the jig was up. My cover was well and truly blown. Even worse, I’d blown it with Gemma. I could see it in her eyes as she walked away from the police car.
M
y chest tightened at how terribly I’d disappointed the woman I loved, whether she believed that or not.
Jimmy followed me through my bank-breaking mud room, with its fancy storage features and custom built-ins. My mom designed it in the hope that it might make my life easier once she was gone, as if having a handy place to fold clothes would cushion the blow of her death. My cleaning lady seemed to like it, anyway.
“Drink?” I asked, passing through the high-ceilinged sitting room towards the kitchen area, which was all gray marble and sleek, matching cabinets.
“What are my choices?”
I pulled the fridge open and stared at the row of craft beers stacked at the bottom. “Stout or lager.” I knew better than to offer him wine. Jimmy only drank wine when he was trying to impress women, and there were no women here…which never really bothered me until now.
“Stout,” he said, slumping on my couch and staring out the back windows into my dark yard.
I popped the caps off two brown bottles and glanced at my watch. Gemma would be home a few hours now. I wondered if her small bed would feel roomy without me in it and whether I’d be able to fall asleep without her warm body in my arms, the scent of her dark hair on the pillow.
“Thanks,” Jimmy said when I handed him his beer.
I took a seat in my favorite leather recliner before bringing my chilled bottle to my lips.
“So,” Jimmy said eventually.
“So.”
“You going to tell me what happened?”
“I already told you,” I said. “The guy attacked me when I tried to stop him from trashing Gemma’s car.”
“No offense, Alex, but you aren’t exactly the kind of guy most men would go out of their way to attack.”
How times had changed. “We’re not talking about someone who’s right in the head.”
“That explains why he wasn’t even eligible for bail.”
“What?”
“I heard two officers discussing his previous offences.”
I perked up in my chair, forgetting all about my sore face.
“He’s obviously a disturbed individual.”
“What did they say?” I asked. “What did he do?”
“Mostly destruction of property,” he said. “At least based on what I overheard.”