‘It’s over!’ Lillian shrieked then grabbed Ellie’s and Florry’s hands.
‘It’s over?’ Ellie read the words once more, not quite believing the news.
‘It’s over!’ Florry’s mouth dropped open.
‘Harry!’ Ellie shouted. ‘Harry will be coming home! The boys in Europe will be coming home!’
Joy squealed. Cassandra ran outside and the rest of the women followed quickly. The men from inside the house were already celebrating and cracking open bottles of beer. Richard and Jonathon were doing some odd version of the Irish jig.
She went over to Lieutenant Andrews, who had just finished spraying a bottle of beer over the excited crowd.
‘Did they say anything about the Pacific?’ she asked.
‘No,’ he yelled above the noise.
She spotted Lillian standing to the side as the rest of Central Bureau danced and whooped around her.
Ellie held Lillian’s hand. ‘It’s only a matter of time before Japan surrenders.’
Lillian turned to her with glassy eyes. ‘We don’t know that. Maybe Japan is planning a full-scale attack because the Allies have won in Europe.’
‘Sweetheart.’ Ellie put her arm around her friend. ‘I believe the opposite. Because we’ve won in Europe, Japan will be scared about the Allies tripling our troops. We’ve already held our ground in the Pacific.’
‘I hope you’re right.’
Ellie hoped so too.
Although it had been ten days since the Allies had declared victory in Europe, work in the garage continued while the war in the Pacific raged. Every day Ellie prayed there would be good news.
Florry came over and sat on the edge of Ellie’s desk. ‘You know how MacArthur wants all of Central Bureau stationed overseas and there’s been a push for us to be allowed to go?’
‘Yes.’ Ellie put her pencil down.
‘Central Bureau have taken it as far as they could. The War Cabinet members refuse to change their minds.’ Florry studied Ellie. ‘You look disappointed.’
‘I’m angry they don’t allow us to go where we’re needed just because we’re women.’
‘Would you go if you could?’
‘If it helped end this war then yes,’ she said.
‘Even after all the things Harry has mentioned in his letters?’
Ellie took a moment before replying. ‘I’m worried about Harry. A lot. He’s gone from someone who viewed the world in a positive light and kept me hopeful for a bright future and now … now it’s like he’s shrouded in darkness. It scares me, Florry.’
‘I know you’re worried, but when he comes home, you can help him find his way again. But’—she let out a long breath—‘if being overseas at war can have that effect on Harry, what could it do to us? I just don’t think I could do it.’
‘The choice has been made, regardless of what we want,’ said Ellie. ‘Just like so many other things taken out of our hands because we’re women. Women’s suffrage may have brought us the vote, but it hasn’t given us a voice or made us visible. Not yet, anyway.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Ellie sat out the front of her hut, sketchpad in hand. The last two months had passed slowly as she waited for news about Harry’s arrival, but she hadn’t heard a thing. Some of the armed forces who’d fought in Europe had already returned to Australia while others had been transferred to fighting in the Pacific. It was only a matter of time before she saw Harry again. She just had to be patient.
Easier said than done.
The last letter she’d received from Harry had been written just after VE Day but she’d had nothing since. Now that the war in Europe was over, he’d be busy with peacekeeping and wouldn’t have a chance to write. Besides, they could talk about everything when they were finally in each other’s arms. They’d discuss everything, except her work with Central Bureau. She still held out hope that one day she could be an open book.
The German surrender in Europe had been a good sign that things were swinging in favour of the Allies. Things were changing, some in unexpected ways. Despite being backed by the public during the war years, Churchill and his Conservative Party had lost the recent UK election to Labour. With Britain now finding their feet post-war, it was hard to know where this new road would lead.
Ellie turned her attention to the sketchpad and decided to try another sketch of Harry. The last time she’d struggled to get his eyes and nose right, and the chin was too square. She could pull out one of the two photos of them together but seeing them as a couple right now only brought more sadness.
‘Louis is here!’ Lillian called out from the gate. Ellie packed away her art supplies and went over to him.
‘Are you ready?’ he asked.
‘Ready for what?’
‘Ready to go to the airfield because there’s a certain someone about to land.’
‘What? How do you know?’
‘I have a friend on the base who was keeping an eye out for Harry’s squadron return date. And’—he checked his watch—‘they’ll be here in about an hour.’
‘Back in a minute!’ She ran towards her hut.
As soon as she got inside, she stripped off her shirt and trousers and looked at her meagre collection of civilian clothes. Her eggshell-blue dress caught her eye and she remembered it as being Harry’s favourite—the one she’d worn when they’d spent that unforgettable night on the coast. She slipped it over her head and quickly applied some lippy.
Dabbing perfume on her neck and wrists, Ellie donned her hat and gloves and grabbed her handbag. When she got back, Louis was casually leaning against his car.
He let out a low whistle. ‘I thought women needed hours to get ready.’
‘They do.’
‘Well, you scrub up all right in seven minutes.’
‘Why thank you, kind sir.’
He helped her into the car and went around to the driver’s side. The engine sputtered into action and he turned to her and grinned. ‘Shall I take you to Prince Charming, Cinderella?’
Ellie shifted from one foot to the other as she stood with the crowd waiting for Harry’s squadron.
The young boy who had dropped his toy black cat the day Harry had left was a good foot taller and ganglier now, his mother’s hair sporting a few wisps of grey.
‘You’re finally going to get your wedding.’ The mother smiled.
‘Yes.’
‘I’m glad. We’ve waited long enough for our boys to return.’
‘We certainly have.’ Ellie stared at the overcast sky.
Louis asked, ‘Why are you so nervous?’
‘We haven’t seen each other for so long. What if things are different?’
‘Things are different. The war in Europe is over. He’s returning home to be with you.’
Ellie said quietly, ‘What if he doesn’t want to get married any more? War changes people. War—’
‘Ellie.’ Louis’s firm voice halted her spiral into gloom. ‘Harry loves you.’
The roar of planes overhead turned everyone’s faces skyward. Ellie’s heart bashed against her chest, the moment she’d dreamed about only minutes away. Of course, Louis was right. Harry loved her, he said so in every letter. She was just suffering from nerves.
The planes landed one by one, the crowd cheering and clapping. A woman beside her sobbed and children squealed. The men exited their planes, did their checks and made their way across the tarmac and into the arms of those they loved most. The mother and boy rushed forward to hug a man with bright red hair. He picked up his son, spun him around, then planted a long, passionate kiss on his wife’s lips. Ellie stood on tiptoe, trying to spot Harry, but she was jostled by the throng of bodies.
‘Can you see him?’ She looked up at Louis, who craned his neck.
‘Not yet. He could be the last plane.’
Ellie was bumped some more but soon the crowd thinned and, eventually, she and Louis were the only ones left.
‘Where is he?’ she asked.
>
‘I don’t know.’ He turned to her. ‘I’ll go and check what the story is. Maybe one of the planes is late.’
Ellie sensed apprehension in Louis’s tone. He walked in the direction of a couple of older men in uniform and chatted away like he’d known them for years.
Her gaze travelled from the empty sky to where the rest of the planes were. Where could he be?
Louis waved at the men and made his way back to Ellie. His eyes were full of concern.
‘No.’ She shook her head vehemently. ‘No. No.’
Louis held her arm.
Her voice cracked. ‘Where were they shot down?’
‘Ellie,’ Louis’s firm voice stopped her. ‘He isn’t dead.’
She pulled her arm from his grasp. ‘Then where is he?’
Louis motioned they sit on a nearby bench.
‘You can tell me standing.’
He took a deep breath, as if trying to put the right words together. ‘He’s staying in England.’
‘Doing what?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘How can you not know? Surely they know!’ She pointed at where the men had been standing but they’d disappeared. ‘He’ll be back, right? Sometime? Soon?’
Bitter disappointment constricted her chest, but she tried to loosen it with hope that this was only a temporary obstacle to happiness.
‘He’s left the air force.’
‘He wouldn’t do that without telling me.’
‘I’m sorry, Ellie. I wish I had better news.’
Ellie stared at Louis, her mind a jumble of unanswered questions. Harry loved flying, it was his life. He’d promised to return and marry her.
‘Maybe he has battle fatigue,’ she said.
‘Reports say he was stable. He was given an Honourable Discharge.’
She held her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face.
‘His letters …’ she sobbed, ‘I was worried but I convinced myself he would be all right … that we’d be all right … His sister is in London. Maybe he’s with her—’
‘Apparently he left London as soon as he could. Ellie, if he doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be.’
Louis opened his arms and she collapsed into them, the sobs growing louder as hopes, dreams and heartache smashed into each other, leaving her a shaking, deeply hurt mess.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ellie lay on Louis’s couch and stared at the ceiling. Maude put a tray of tea, biscuits, sugar and milk on the table next to Ellie then bent down and ran her hand through Ellie’s hair.
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Thank you.’ Ellie’s voice sounded so small, so far away. She made an effort to sit—her body weak, like her soul had been ripped out of her.
Maude poured a cup of tea and handed it to Ellie. She took it with both hands and rested it on her lap. The light brown liquid shifted in the cup as Ellie tried to control her shaking knees.
‘Why don’t you get some sleep? Louis can go over to the barracks and let them know you’ll stay here tonight.’
Ellie smiled her thanks, barely seeing through hot tears. She let her body fall against the cushions. Her eyelids grew heavy and she gave into the exhaustion, unable to fight it any longer.
The front door opened. Ellie jerked awake.
It was dark outside and the tall lamp in the corner of the room was on, emanating a warm orange glow. How long had she been asleep?
Louis walked in and sat beside her on the couch. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Terrible.’
He squeezed her hand. ‘Florry has sent over a change of clothes and toiletries if you want to stay. But if you prefer to go to the barracks, I can drive you.’
She tried to speak but words wouldn’t come.
Louis said, ‘Squeeze my hand once to go to the barracks. Twice to stay here.’
Without hesitation, she squeezed Louis’s hand twice.
‘Maude has already got your bed ready in the spare room.’
Ellie sat on the grass with her back against the garage at Nyrambla. She breathed in slowly, out slowly, in slowly, out slowly.
It had been three weeks since Harry had failed to arrive. Every day had felt like she’d been set an exercise in patience and trust—neither she possessed right now. Confusion, humiliation, rejection, and embarrassment became a tangled mess, leaving her exhausted and unable to see a way forward. Louis had used his contacts to find Harry’s sister’s address and Ellie had written to her but, so far, she’d had no reply.
Florry walked around the corner and over to Ellie. ‘How are you doing?’
She shrugged. ‘Every day above the dirt is a good one, right?’
Her friend held out a hand and helped Ellie stand. ‘It is. So … nothing?’
‘It’s like he’s vanished into thin air. Like he never existed.’
‘Except he did, especially in your heart.’
‘Yes.’ Ellie squared her shoulders. ‘Come on, we have work to do.’
Ellie knew her bravado wasn’t fooling Florry, but her friend was kind enough not to push the issue further. Ellie entered the garage and, once more, sent a silent prayer that the war in the Pacific would soon be over. Since the Allies had won in Europe three months ago, there had been anticipation that Japan would surrender. But from the communications being intercepted and the intense fighting, peace in the Pacific was still a distant dream.
Florry went over to her desk and Ellie took a seat at her station.
‘It’s been really quiet since you went on break.’ Lillian said. ‘Which is not a bad thing.’
‘I’m more than happy for it to be quieter than a church mouse.’
Ellie picked up the newest intercept, figured out the key and went to work on the TypeX.
‘I can’t believe it.’ Lieutenant Andrews stood in front of the baffles that blocked the entrance to the garage. His face was pale, arms by his side. He clutched a piece of paper that Florry had to pry out of his hands.
She gasped then looked up. ‘They’ve bombed Japan.’
Lillian stepped forward. ‘What? Where?’
‘Hiroshima.’
Ellie and the rest of the Garage Girls finished their shift then climbed onto the truck to take them to the barracks. Lillian, who always led the singalong, stared blankly, like she didn’t register where she was or who she was with. No one spoke. When they arrived at the barracks they filtered into the rec hall.
‘I don’t know what to think,’ said Cassandra.
‘No one does.’
‘It’s just …’ Lillian burst into tears and held her head in her hands. Ellie rubbed her friend’s back.
‘Horrendous,’ said Ellie. ‘I don’t think anyone can comprehend what this means right now.’
‘All those children …’
‘The innocents …’
‘The sick defenceless patients in the hospitals …’
Ellie stood. ‘I need to go.’
‘Where?’ asked Florry.
‘I don’t know. Somewhere. Anywhere. I can’t stay here.’ Ellie left the barracks, unsure what to do next. She needed distance. Time. She needed to breathe.
Ellie kept her head down as she walked past groups of people chatting quietly on the street. There were no cheers. No celebrations.
The world was in shock.
For the next two days Ellie navigated through a thick fog of disbelief. Sixteen hours after the bombing of Hiroshima, President Truman had stated that the American atomic bomb had been built to get ahead of the Germans who had their own weapons of destruction. He had also declared Japan had no choice but to surrender. So far, though, that hadn’t happened.
Not long after his speech the Russians declared war on Japan by invading Japanese-ruled Manchuria, causing another wave of panic to wash over the world. Europe may have worked on peaceful agreements in Potsdam, but the Pacific was still very much at war. Had Harry been right to stay in the UK?
Regardless of his reasons, it hurt
to the core that Harry had gone underground without a word. Why hadn’t he found the courage to contact her? His experience as a pilot meant he had to be level-headed in times of crisis, be able to look at a situation and gauge what appropriate action to take. So why had Harry thought leaving her in the lurch and getting discharged from the air force were the most appropriate responses?
Ellie lay in bed and gazed at her left hand. The early morning sun fell on the diamond ring—the ring that promised a future with a man who had loved her. Once.
She slid the ring halfway off her finger then moved it back. She couldn’t take it off. Not yet, anyway.
Ellie rolled over and looked at the small pile of letters Harry had sent since he’d left Australia. She picked them up and read them in order.
Sitting up, she sucked in her breath. If she laid out Harry’s letters there was a distinct timeline of emotions—from being positive they would get through this, to talking about the devastation of war, to feeling there was no hope for the future. She’d been right to worry and she’d thought her replies had been encouraging and loving. But they hadn’t been enough. What could she have done differently? Would anything have made a difference?
Trying to push aside questions she couldn’t answer right now, Ellie got ready for work and joined the girls on the truck that would take them to Nyrambla. Since Hiroshima, not one song had been sung.
Ellie arrived at the garage and punched in. Everyone went about their work like they had every other day.
‘How are you doing?’ asked Lillian.
‘Fine, thanks.’
Lillian cocked an eyebrow. ‘How are you doing?’
Ellie gave a small laugh. ‘You just asked me that.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I’m all right,’ said Ellie, aware Lillian wasn’t going to let this go. ‘Just taking everything day by day.’
‘You’re not checking the post at the barracks twenty times a day?’
‘I didn’t say I wasn’t.’ Ellie shifted on her chair. ‘There’s nothing I can do. Besides, there’re bigger things that need my attention right now.’
Lillian reached for Ellie’s hand. ‘I admire you.’
‘Why?’
‘If it were me, I’d be a sobbing mess in the corner, unable to string a sentence together.’
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