‘I need to go,’ she rasped.
‘Ellie.’
She shoved the envelope in her handbag and hurried down the hallway to the front door. Louis was directly behind her. She stopped and faced the man she saw in a new light—a light she couldn’t fully comprehend. ‘Thank you for saying what you did, I just need some time to think about everything, including us.’
‘If you need to think about us then you don’t love me the way I love you.’
‘This came out of the blue. How am I supposed to react? If you expect me to fall at your feet and confess my undying love, then you don’t know me at all.’ She instantly regretted her harsh tone. Softly she said, ‘I know it took a lot of courage to say what you did. I do love you, I’m just not sure in what way. You need to let me catch up.’
Louis reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘Take all the time you need.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
It had been three weeks since Ellie had told Louis she needed time. Since then, he’d been flying to and from London and Ellie had immersed herself in her job at Mossman’s.
Ellie sipped her cup of tea and read the newspaper, once more dejected by the lack of variety of jobs available.
Mrs Hanley walked into the kitchen and set about making a fresh pot. She sat next to Ellie. ‘Anything?’
Ellie pushed the paper away. ‘There’s nothing here I want to do.’
‘Maybe you need to knock on the doors you want to open.’ Mrs Hanley scooped tea into the pot. ‘Have you heard from Louis lately?’
Ellie raised her eyebrows. ‘Do we need to have this conversation again?’
‘He may have said take all the time you need but eventually time will run out.’
‘I don’t need to be pressured.’
‘You still don’t know how you feel?’ asked Mrs Hanley.
‘How can I know when I’m still trying to work through my feelings about Harry? That letter explained a lot, but it also confused me.’
Mrs Hanley sat at the table. ‘You’re not thinking about rekindling things?’
‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘Though I am riddled with guilt at not helping him in a way that made a difference.’ She put her hand up. ‘I realise there’s no way I could have known what he was going through, and even if I’d been aware, how could I have helped when he was on the other side of the world? I constantly wrote and told him I loved him yet it was ignored. There’s so many emotions running through me and none of them are making sense. Until I can find some peace, I can’t commit to anyone—even Louis.’
She returned her attention to the newspaper to avoid talking further. Why couldn’t her feelings be like the code she used to work with? The fists of the sender’s messages were easy to understand once she’d spent enough time working on them. She understood the nuances and didn’t always need to hear the whole message to know what was meant. Why were human feelings so much harder to figure out?
Flying Doctor Service Radio Operators Wanted.
She dragged the paper close.
The Flying Doctor Service has vacancies for radio operators in the following locations: Charleville, Roma, Charters Towers.
Applicants with experience in radio operations and Morse code are invited to apply for work at the above bases.
Ellie looked up at Mrs Hanley. ‘I think I just found a side door.’
Ellie sat in reception, trying to calm her nerves before being called in for her interview. The dark wood walls reminded her of Commanding Officer Buckley’s office, and the room had the same imposing presence. Rather than stare at the clock, Ellie turned her attention to the notes she’d made in preparation for the interview.
In 1917, Lieutenant Clifford Peel wrote to Reverend John Flynn with the idea of creating a medical air service to help the sick and injured in the outback. Peel died in the Great War but Reverend John Flynn honoured Peel’s wish. It took ten years, but finally the Aerial Medical Service was established. In 1942 it was renamed the Flying Doctor Service.
‘Miss O’Sullivan?’
Ellie looked up to find a balding man of around fifty standing in the doorway.
‘We’re ready.’
Was she?
Ellie’s footsteps fell lightly as she strolled along the street towards home. The interview had gone swimmingly. She’d had to tell them she’d been a secretary for AWAS and, even though she’d had to bend the truth, it was out of necessity. That guilt had dissipated somewhat when she’d impressed them with one hundred per cent accuracy and high speed on the Morse code test. She was single, willing to move to an outback region and the interviewers seemed keen. She also suspected being a qualified pilot and having worked for Qantas Empire Airways may have helped, especially as QEA currently supplied the planes, pilots and mechanics to the Flying Doctor Service. She just hoped and prayed all this was enough to get the job.
Ellie reached the front gate and halted. Louis sat on the steps in his uniform looking as handsome as ever.
He stood and smiled.
‘Hi, Bug.’ He sounded like a teenage boy about to ask his crush out to the pictures.
‘Hello.’ Her hand froze on the fence.
‘I know you wanted time and I’ve tried really hard to stay away.’ He leaned against the verandah pole. ‘I was just wondering …’
Ellie walked over and put her hands in his.
She exhaled slowly. ‘You don’t need to wonder any more.’
Their lips met.
All the confusion and guilt about Harry and the indecision about Louis fell away and she was left with a warm lightness within. Nothing in her life had ever felt more right.
Louis stepped back, his eyes searching hers. ‘When were you going to tell me?’
‘About?’
‘This. Us.’
‘I’ve been going over everything and sorting through my emotions and … I just didn’t know how I really felt until now. But …’
‘But?’
She motioned for them to sit on the steps. ‘But I’ve applied for a job that could take me far away from here.’
‘Is it what you want?’
She stared at the eaves and sighed. ‘It’s not the exact job I want but who knows where it could lead. It’s a job that saves lives. I need to do something meaningful—for me and for others.’ She took in his puzzled expression. ‘The Flying Doctor Service.’
‘That’s honourable work.’
‘It is.’ She shifted to face him. ‘Mossman’s was only a temporary measure. And as much as I want to be a commercial pilot, that’s not going to happen tomorrow. This job is perfect for now. But’—she reached for his hand—‘it means we’ll be apart indefinitely.’
‘We can make it work.’
‘How? It was a disaster for you and Maude.’
‘It didn’t work because she wanted me to be someone I’m not. I love my job, even if it means I’m away for long periods of time.’
‘Of course you love it. It’s your passion.’
‘Which is why I couldn’t give it up just because she wanted me to. I would have been a terrible husband if I’d had to wear a suit and work in an office. I’d have been miserable and Maude would have been desperately unhappy with a grumpy husband. I don’t blame her for wanting what she did, it’s just that we’re polar opposites. We should have talked about how we envisioned our marriage would work before tying the knot.’
‘It was right for you at the time,’ she said, trying to apply the same philosophy to her doomed relationship with Harry. ‘If you hadn’t married Maude you would have wondered your whole life what it would have been like. Now you know. You’ve learned from that experience, as I have from my own.’
Louis’s eyes sparkled. ‘You’ve done some soul searching.’
‘I have.’
‘Whereas with you,’ he entwined his fingers with hers, ‘I love your independence and the way you’re going after your dreams. You’ve really come into your own, Ellie O’Sullivan.’
‘It�
�s been a long road,’ she said. ‘Some days I feel more lost than ever.’
‘But you always find your way back.’ His kiss was slow, gentle, warm. ‘To me.’
She rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling the perfume of the grevillea and committing the perfection of this moment to memory.
Ellie clutched the envelope while Mrs Hanley and Louis gathered around her in the kitchen. She held it in front of her, trying to guess the contents.
‘Just open it,’ Mrs Hanley wrung the tea towel in her hands. ‘Put us all out of our misery.’
Ellie placed the envelope on the table. ‘Maybe later.’
Louis groaned.
‘Fine.’ She picked it up once more.
‘Open it. Open it!’ pleaded Mrs Hanley.
Ellie bit her lip, ripped open the envelope and took out the letter. She unfolded it so the others couldn’t see the neat typing.
28 June 1948
Dear Miss O’Sullivan,
We are delighted to offer you the position of radio operator at the Flying Doctor Base in Charleville. As discussed, your position will be radio operations and administration. Please inform our office of your acceptance as soon as possible.
We look forward to working with you. Welcome aboard.
Sincerely,
Herbert Tomlins
Ellie stared at the letter. She slowly turned it around so Mrs Hanley and Louis could read it.
‘Oh my.’ Mrs Hanley put her hand on her chest. ‘You liked Charleville when you flew there with Louis, didn’t you?’
‘Yes. It’s beautiful.’
‘It’s really happening!’ said Mrs Hanley.
‘I don’t know yet,’ said Ellie.
‘Why not?’ Louis asked.
‘I just …’ She collapsed onto the chair. ‘It means a lot of changes.’
‘Exciting ones.’ Mrs Hanley held Ellie’s hand. ‘I will miss you like the stars and moon.’
‘I haven’t said I’m going yet.’
‘You have to,’ said Louis. ‘Like you said, you can help save lives.’
‘But …’ The lump in her throat made it difficult to talk.
‘I need to check on the washing.’ Mrs Hanley went out the back door.
Louis held both her hands in her lap. ‘I thought you wanted this.’
‘I do but that was before I knew I loved you.’
‘You love me?’ He feigned surprise.
‘Stop teasing,’ she laughed. ‘You knew I loved you before I had any clue.’
‘I might have had an inkling.’ He winked.
She pushed him playfully on the shoulder. ‘Very funny.’
‘You’re taking this, right? It could open up doors for you to be employed as a pilot.’
‘There’s never been a female pilot for the Flying Doctor Service.’
‘Things can change. Ellie’—he placed a finger under her chin—‘this is your moment to shine.’
‘There’s just so much to consider …’
‘You have to take it.’
The firmness in his tone annoyed her. ‘Excuse me?’
‘What did you once say? Regret for missed opportunities can destroy the soul.’
‘Don’t twist my words.’
‘They are exactly as you said them.’
Ellie shoved the letter into her handbag. She looked up at him. ‘How can I leave you?’
‘You’re not leaving me. We’ll just be apart geographically.’ His beautiful eyes studied her with such intensity she felt he could see into her soul. ‘I have faith we can make this work. Don’t you?’
Ellie watched the pilot load the last of her suitcases onto the plane. She stood under the hangar, one hand clutching her handbag and the other gripping Louis’s.
‘Here, these are for the staff at the base.’ Mrs Hanley handed the pilot a large package of scones she’d baked at five that morning.
‘Thank you.’ He placed them behind the pilot’s seat then turned to Ellie. ‘Ready?’
‘Just a minute, please.’ She faced Mrs Hanley, who already had tears streaming down her face. ‘I don’t even know how to thank you.’
‘Ah, sweet girl,’ Mrs Hanley wrapped her arms around Ellie, ‘there is no need to thank me. It is a privilege and a delight to have witnessed you grow into the beautiful, wonderful woman you are.’
Ellie held on tight. The tears she swore she’d keep at bay poured down her cheeks. ‘I love you.’
‘And I love you, too.’ Mrs Hanley gave a curt nod then reached into her handbag and pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes. ‘Promise me you’ll write.’
‘Every week.’
Mrs Hanley stepped away and Louis moved forward. So many thoughts ran around Ellie’s mind, but they were impossible to articulate.
Louis pulled her into a hug, and she relaxed against his body, breathing in his fresh soapy scent. Was she insane for moving so far away?
‘You are not crazy,’ he said.
‘How did you …?’
‘Read your mind?’ he laughed. ‘Our connection has always been there, even if we had no idea how strong it was until now. This is not goodbye, it’s “I’ll be seeing you”.’
‘I like that.’ She looked up and smiled through the tears. ‘I love you, Louis Dutton.’
‘And I love you, Ellie O’Sullivan.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Russell, the chief pilot, led Ellie into a hangar at Charleville base. Although she’d only arrived the day before, she’d hit the ground running. If she kept busy, it wouldn’t give her a chance to think about everything—and everyone—she’d left behind in Brisbane.
‘This hangar is the largest in the Southern Hemisphere.’
‘Really?’ She looked up at the expanse of wooden rafters and tin roof.
‘During the war it was used as a heavy sheet metal workshop to repair damaged bomber wings and tails. We’re hoping to get permission to use it for the Flying Doctor Service but for now we’ve got the smaller one.’ His smile was friendly and he clearly loved his work. Ellie prayed she felt the same once she got into the swing of things.
‘How much area does the Charleville Flying Doctor Service cover?’ she asked.
‘Four hundred thousand miles of Southwest Queensland—from the New South Wales border and into the south of the Northern Territory and northern South Australia. Basically, we’re covering an area the same size as the United Kingdom.’
‘That’s a lot,’ she said.
‘It is, but we do it well.’ They reached the office and walked into the radio room. ‘I have no doubt you will be a great asset. Welcome to your new family, Miss O’Sullivan.’
Ellie rolled out of bed, her eyes bleary. Even though she’d been in Charleville for four months, she couldn’t shake a sense of unease that crept in and destroyed her sleep almost every night. She dreamed about her parents, Florry, Kat, Lillian, Cassandra, Joy, Mrs Hanley and, of course, Louis. Ellie worried that as time wore on the details of each person dear to her heart would fade. So she’d taken to regularly writing a letter to her loved ones, even her Garage Girls. And even though she could never send those ones, it felt good to connect with them in her thoughts. Somehow it brought her closer. Often, when she sat in the garden at night staring up at the inky sky with its powder spray of stars, she wondered if her friends were doing the same.
‘Ellie.’ Ingrid Paulson, the owner of the house Ellie now lived in, knocked on the bedroom door. ‘The mail arrived early this morning.’
Ellie rushed to the door and swung it open. ‘Louis?’
‘I think your day is about to start well.’ Ingrid grinned. ‘There’s two. One looks rather official.’
Ellie held an envelope in each hand, not sure which one to open first.
‘Is it your multi-engine endorsement?’
‘Perhaps?’ Ellie opened the official envelope first so she could savour Louis’s words afterwards. It contained the official letter endorsing her to fly planes with more than one engine. Sh
e looked up. ‘Thank you for introducing me to Mrs Donaldson.’
‘Ah, no worries but it was Mrs Donaldson who tracked me down.’
‘Really?’
‘Didn’t I tell you? As soon as she heard the new girl in town was a qualified pilot, she wanted to meet you. She’s been pushing for female pilots at the Flying Doctor Service for years.’
‘Too bad she hasn’t got anywhere.’
Ingrid shrugged. ‘Well, convincing her husband to let you fly him in his plane to his properties was a good start. You’re lucky he had a twin engine so you could get your hours up and get your endorsement. Anyway, I think he likes someone flying him around.’
‘He does seem to get a kick out of it.’
‘He does. Now you’re qualified to fly the Flying Doctor plane, right?’
‘I might be qualified but I don’t have the job to do it.’
‘Mrs Donaldson will see to that.’
‘Well,’ said Ellie, itching to get to Louis’s letter, ‘I am all for her giving it her best shot.’
‘Me too. Righto,’ said Ingrid, ‘I’ll leave you to it.’
‘Thank you.’ She went into her bedroom and quickly took out the letter. It had been two weeks since his last one and she’d started to fret. She had to keep telling herself that Louis was not Harry. There was no war, so this would not be a repeat of what had happened.
15 September 1948
My darling Bug,
I’m sorry I didn’t write earlier as work has been hectic. However busy I am, though, I always find time to think about you. When I close my eyes at night you are the last person I see and the next morning just before I open my eyes, you are the first. One day we’ll be together but for now, we need to weather the tyranny of distance.
I’m writing this in Tripoli, Lebanon, and even though I’ve been here countless times on route to and from London, I’ve rarely ventured out of the hotel on our overnight stop as I’m always too tired. But today I went to visit the Mansouri Great Mosque that was completed in 1314. Can you believe anything could be so old? The mosque is beautiful, Ellie, and as I walked past the fountains and through the gardens and halls, all I could think of was how much you would love being here. Please don’t think I’m telling you about this to make you feel like you’re missing out, I’m telling you because I want you to know that everywhere I go and everything I do always comes back to you. Nothing compares to being in your arms, to having you by my side. And, one day, we’ll see the world together and it will be magical.
The Codebreakers Page 32