by David Lewman
A big part of her wanted to jump up and put her new plan into action right away. But she’d promised Branch she wouldn’t do that.
Still, she couldn’t just keep tossing and turning and turning and tossing. And thinking.
Poppy got out of bed and tapped a Glowfly. “Thank you,” she said to the critter as warm, soft light filled the room. “Sorry, I know it’s late.”
“No problem,” the bug fluted in a high-pitched voice. “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
“Me either!” Poppy said, shaking her head.
She tried several methods to make herself sleepy. She took a hot bath. She drank a cup of warm milk. She told herself a story. She sang herself a lullaby.
Nothing worked. She still felt wide awake.
Finally, Poppy gave up on sleeping. She walked over to the big wooden trunk where she kept all her scrapbooking materials and opened it.
The next morning, Branch woke up early and made himself a nice cup of bloomingflower tea. He’d slept so soundly, even his dreams were about sleeping. Sipping his tea and quietly humming to himself, he rode the elevator down to the basement of his bunker. He wore a robe and sported a serious case of bed head. He yawned so widely, it seemed as though his head would split in half.
Suddenly, someone said, “GOOD MORNING, BRANCH!”
“YAAAAH!” Branch screamed. Startled by the voice, he spilled his tea all over himself.
It was Poppy. And she looked very excited. More so than usual. Branch frowned. That could only mean trouble…for him.
“Poppy,” he said sternly. “You didn’t sleep on it. You probably didn’t sleep at all.”
“Not a wink,” Poppy agreed, grinning.
“And you’ve probably got a crazy plan,” Branch growled.
“Yes, I do,” Poppy chirped. “Except it’s not crazy. I decided the Bergens need a new holiday!”
“Okay, let’s send a card telling them that,” Branch said, wiping his face with his robe. “Problem solved.”
“Wait, that’s not my whole idea!” Poppy continued. “No one knows holidays better than us Trolls! So we’ll just give the Bergens one of our holidays! Brilliant, huh?”
Branch looked confused. “And why are we doing this?”
Poppy picked up Branch’s cup and poured him a fresh cup of tea. “Bridget is my best friend,” she said. “The Bergens deserve to have a day of dancing and singing, and costumes and presents…and glitter!” Forgetting she’d poured the tea for Branch, she took a swig of it herself as she relished the idea of glitter. “So much glitter.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Branch asked.
“Absolutely!” Poppy said. “This is what I do. I take care of my friends.”
Branch thought about it for a minute. Then he said, “You know what? Old Branch would probably not be into this plan at all, but New Branch, with his cool new smile—”
He tried smiling again. It came out crooked.
“Still weird,” Poppy said, offering him the cup of tea.
“Huh,” Branch said. “I’ll keep working on it.” He took the tea from her and blew on it to cool it off. “So what’s your idea?”
Poppy pulled out a scrapbook. “I’ve assembled a well-thought-out plan in here.” She held the book up for Branch to see, turning the pages as she explained. “It’s simple,” she went on. “First, break into Branch’s bunker and get him on board.”
A little felt figure of Branch on the first page gave her a big thumbs-up. “I’m on board!” the tiny Branch said.
Branch couldn’t believe Poppy had known ahead of time that he would agree to her idea. But he didn’t say anything. He just shook his head.
“Next,” Poppy said, turning the page, “we set off for Bergen Town. Once we get there, we’ll—”
“How will we get there, exactly?” Branch queried. “We’re too heavy for the Zip Beetles to carry us, and I don’t think you want to go through what you did the first time you went to Bergen Town…falling off a flower, riding on a snake, being swallowed by a bird and a fish and a plant—”
“How do you know about all that?” Poppy asked. “You weren’t even there for those parts!”
Branch held up another scrapbook. “You scrapbooked the whole thing, remember?”
“Oh, yeah!” Poppy said, reaching for it. “I wondered where that went!”
She squinted at Branch, puzzled. “Were you keeping this as a souvenir of our adventure together?”
Branch looked like he’d been caught. “Uh, no! Of course not! I just wanted to make sure it got back to Troll Village safely, that’s all. Anyway, you were telling me how you plan to get to Bergen Town this time. More comfortably, I hope.”
“Oh, most def,” Poppy said, flipping through the pages of her new plan. She found the page she was looking for and held it up for Branch to admire. “This time we’ll go by Caterbus!”
The page showed a bunch of felt Trolls lining up to board a felt bus that looked a lot like a giant caterpillar. Poppy turned to the next page, which showed King Gristle and Bridget on their thrones.
“We’ll see Gristle and Bridget and do some hugging!” she said. She flipped the next page back and forth, making it look like Poppy and Bridget were hugging over and over.
“I get it,” Branch said. “You’ll hug. And then?”
“We’ll pitch them our holiday ideas,” Poppy said. “Their minds will be blown.”
One page showed rainbows shooting out of King Gristle’s and Bridget’s heads.
“And that’s how we’re going to give Bridget and the rest of the Bergens a new holiday!” The last page of Poppy’s elaborate scrapbook shot out a puff of glitter, and happy little voices sang, “Holiday!”
Behind Branch, a bunch of Poppy’s friends, including Biggie, Smidge, Guy Diamond, Fuzzbert, Satin, Chenille, and Cooper had stepped out of the shadows to join in, singing along with Poppy’s scrapbook.
“AAAHHHH!” Branch screamed, spilling tea all over himself again. His robe was soaked. He looked down at it, then up at all the Trolls who had somehow snuck into his bunker.
“I figure we need a crack team of holiday experts to make our presentation,” Poppy explained, grinning.
“Looks like we’re all headed to Bergen Town,” Branch sighed. “I’ll go put on some pants.”
In a clearing at the edge of Troll Village, Poppy, Branch, and their friends waited for the Caterbus to arrive. They were eager to share their holiday ideas with the Bergens.
“Is the Caterbus absolutely safe?” Biggie asked nervously. “I mean, I’m not worried, but sometimes Mr. Dinkles gets all worked up when he travels.”
“Zzzzz…,” Mr. Dinkles snored, lying on Biggie’s shoulder.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s perfectly safe,” Poppy reassured him, patting her big friend’s back. “In fact, they say it’s the safest way to travel!”
“Who says that? Who’s they?” Branch asked skeptically. “The Caterbus driver?”
“Yes,” Poppy admitted. “But who would know better? He rides Caterbuses all the time!”
Before Branch could argue with Poppy’s logic, the Caterbus came roaring around a corner and lurched to a stop just inches from where they were standing. SCREEEEEEECH!
“AAAAAHHHH!” Branch screamed for the third time that morning.
The Caterbus looked a lot like a huge caterpillar, with lots of sections and two antennae in front. The door opened wide, and a voice announced, “BUUUUSSS!”
Poppy didn’t hesitate. She jumped right onto the Caterbus and encouraged the other Trolls to follow her.
“Come on, everybody! All aboard!”
They piled onto the bus. Some liked to sit up front, while others preferred the seats in the back. There was plenty of room for everybody. The inside was decorated in bright colors—red, orange, and yellow. The soft seats were sparkly purple with rainbow armrests.
Poppy and Branch found a two-Troll seat near the front. They sat and buckled their safety belts.
&nb
sp; A voice, mimicking a deep echo, announced, “Welcome…welcome…welcome…to…to…to…the Caterbus Express…ess…ess….”
“Wait a minute,” Branch said. “Making his own echo? Where have I heard that voice before?” Then he remembered! “Oh, no…not him.” He looked toward the driver’s seat, hoping he was wrong about the voice, but then he saw—
Cloud Guy! White and puffy, he wore his usual striped gym socks, but he’d added a snappy blue-and-gold driver’s cap with a black brim.
Branch moaned. He was not fond of Cloud Guy. When Branch and Poppy had needed to find the tunnel that led to Bergen Town, Cloud Guy had refused to help unless Branch gave him a high five. And a fist bump. And a hug. It had gone on until Branch had “persuaded” Cloud Guy to show them the way by chasing him with a sharp stick.
And now Cloud Guy was going to drive them to Bergen Town on the Caterbus. He sat behind the wheel, grinning back at Branch.
“Hey, guys,” he said in his friendly voice. “Captain No-Slappy.” He nodded at Branch, referring to the missed high five. “Queen Poppy.”
Poppy was delighted to see Cloud Guy. She thought he was funny—and they shared a certain joy in playfully teasing Branch.
“All right, Cloud Guy,” she said. “Punch it!”
“You got it,” Cloud Guy drawled. “But first, a quick announcement.” He spoke into the tube of the Caterbus’s PA system. “Please put away all electronics, safely stow your carry-ons, and hold on to your Dinkles.”
Fuzzbert took off his headphones and put them away. Cooper stowed tiny Smidge in an overhead compartment (she enjoyed the snug privacy). And Biggie gave Mr. Dinkles a loving squeeze.
“Mew,” Mr. Dinkles said.
“Thank you for choosing the Caterbus,” Cloud Guy concluded. “The safest way to travel!” He hung up the speaking tube and mumbled, “Unless we go into a wormhole.”
Branch pricked up his big ears. “I’m sorry…did you just say wormhole?”
Cloud Guy ignored him. “Now sit back, relax, and feel the love. Next stop, Bergen Town…town…town!” He jammed his foot down on the pedal and the Caterbus leapt forward. VROOOOOM!
The long Caterbus zoomed through the woods, whipping around trees, rocks, and bushes. Most of the rocks and bushes, anyway. It bumped right over the rest, sending the Trolls flying out of their seats. It twisted and turned, not following any road or path that Branch could see.
“CAREFUL! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” Branch shouted. “SLOW DOWN!”
But instead of slowing down, Cloud Guy reached out and pushed a button. Loud, pulsing music blasted through the Caterbus. Cloud Guy knew the Trolls couldn’t resist a good tune with a catchy beat. And it would drown out Branch’s complaints.
He was right. All the Trolls (except Branch) jumped to their feet and danced in the aisle, swerving with the rocking motion of the Caterbus. “YEAH!” they sang along as they danced. “NO NEED TO MAKE A GREAT BIG FUSS…WHEN YOU’RE RIDIN’ ON THE CATERBUS! DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, YEAH—ALL OF US!”
Only Branch stayed safely buckled into his seat. He watched his friends gyrate, twist, kick, and pump their fists to the music. Finally, he couldn’t resist—Branch jumped up and joined the dance. They all moved and grooved in a line until Branch noticed that someone else had joined in, too.
Cloud Guy!
“WHO’S DRIVING THE BUS?” Branch cried out.
Everyone stopped dancing and looked at Cloud Guy. He grinned and shrugged…just as the Caterbus plunged off the edge of a cliff!
“YAAAAAHHHHHHH!” they screamed.
The Caterbus plummeted through the air until a gigantic creature opened its cavernous mouth and swallowed it whole. GULP!
“WORMHOLE!” Cloud Guy yelled.
“What?” Branch asked.
Cloud Guy turned to him and repeated calmly, “Wormhole. We’ve just been swallowed by one. I suggested you remain seated with your seat belt fastened—”
But before he could finish his sentence, Cloud Guy was sent flying as the Caterbus twisted and turned through the dark tunnels inside the huge, mysterious wormhole. Weird images flashed outside the windows—swirling patterns and flashing lights.
The Trolls were flung about the Caterbus, bouncing off the seats and the ceiling.
“AAAAAHHHH!” Biggie screamed.
“WAAAHH!” Cooper shouted.
“Eeeee!” Mr. Dinkles squeaked.
“WOOOOOAAAA!” Smidge bellowed in her deep voice.
Cloud Guy laughed like a maniac. “MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!”
Rainbow-colored lights blinked outside. After a blinding flash of white light, everything went still. Eerily still…
The Caterbus seemed to be floating through the darkness of empty space. Stars twinkled in the distance. A meteor blazed above and then disappeared.
A figure in a spacesuit floated by. It turned, and just for a moment, the figure in the suit seemed to be a Troll. But how was that possible? Where were they? And what was happening?
Inside the dark Caterbus, Cooper slowly waved his foot in front of his face. It left behind a rainbow trail that hung in the air.
“You guys?” he said. “I don’t feel so good….”
Peering at his foot from beneath the brim of his green hat, Cooper blinked. His foot looked strange. Instead of being soft and fuzzy, it looked hard, smooth, and shiny. It seemed to be made out of…squishy rubber!
“What’s wrong, Cooper?” Biggie asked.
Cooper turned to his left and saw that Biggie had turned into a big rubber doll! He looked to his right and saw that the same thing had happened to Guy Diamond!
“I’m feeling weird…,” Guy said, his voice reverberating.
“Me too!” Biggie added.
“Wem!” Mr. Dinkles said.
“ ‘Wem?’ What does that mean?” Guy Diamond asked.
“I think it’s ‘mew’ backward,” Biggie explained. “I guess Mr. Dinkles is feeling weird, too. Poor little guy. Don’t worry, Mr. Dinkles. Everything’ll be all right! I’m here!”
FLASH! There was another blinding burst of white light. Blinking, the Trolls looked at each other. They gasped! ALL of them had turned into dolls! Even Mr. Dinkles!
“AAAHHHHH!” they screamed.
“MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!” laughed Cloud Guy as his head started to spin around and around.
FLASH! There was another burst of light, and then the Caterbus went into a nosedive! It rocketed past stars, planets, asteroids, and moons as it fell through space.
“AAAAAHHH!” the Trolls screamed again.
Biggie looked at Cooper. “At least we’re back to normal!” he observed.
“Yeah,” Cooper agreed. “We don’t look like dolls anymore. However, on the downside, we’re falling through space!”
“But we never went into space, did we?” asked the big Troll. “How is this possible?”
“It’s because we’re inside the WORMHOLE!” Cloud Guy explained, still laughing wildly. “In the WORMHOLE, anything’s possible!”
“Even lunch?” Smidge asked hopefully. “I’m starving!”
Before Cloud Guy could answer, the view through the windows of the Caterbus shifted from black space to violet space. There was nothing but purple as far as the eye could see!
Then the color outside shifted again, this time to indigo and then to blue.
“Beautiful!” Poppy said, trying to make the best of a baffling situation. “It’s like we’re flying through a giant rainbow! And rainbows are ALWAYS good! Right?”
“Not when you’re falling through one!” Branch grumbled.
The space outside the Caterbus turned to green, then yellow, then orange, and then red.
“Isn’t red the last color in the rainbow?” Cooper asked. “Maybe we’re getting close to the end of the wormhole.”
“Then what happens?” Biggie asked, frightened.
But the solid-red space outside the Caterbus windows wasn’t the last zone they passed through. Next came stripes, then checks, and
then polka dots—
“I love all these patterns!” Satin exclaimed.
“It looks like material for dresses!” Chenille agreed.
“Or pantsuits!” Satin added.
“I don’t know,” Biggie moaned, clutching his stomach. “All these crazy patterns are making me kind of queasy.”
WHOOSH! The Caterbus broke through the patterns into a beautiful blue sky!
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are out of the wormhole!” Cloud Guy announced.
The Trolls cheered! Except Branch, who shouted, “But we’re still FALLING!”
“That’s true,” Cooper said. “Good point. Let’s panic! YAAAAAAHHHH!”
The Caterbus plummeted through the blue sky, plunging past clouds and birds. The Trolls could see the solid ground coming up fast!
“This is it!” Biggie wailed. “GOODBYE, MR. DINKLES! GOODBYE, EVERYONE!”
They all braced themselves, holding on to their seats. But just before they crashed, the front of the Caterbus pulled up, and it flew neatly over the ground, skimming along and then touching down for a perfect soft landing.
“We’re on the ground!” Cloud Guy announced. “I told you the Caterbus was the safest way to travel!”
Everyone cheered! They were safe.
Cloud Guy reached up and pulled down his speaking tube. “Trolls and Troll pets, this is your driver speaking. Let me be the first to welcome you to the ground. We here at Caterbus Express know you have a choice in travel lines, so we appreciate your business. Please remember to remove all personal items—”
“But where exactly ARE we?” Branch interrupted.
It was a very good question.
The Trolls looked out at a strange landscape that was different from any they’d ever seen before. The trees and stones were oddly shaped, and the colors seemed off.
“Mighty pretty country,” Cloud Guy said, trying to put a positive spin on the situation.
“Okay, but again, my point: WHERE ARE WE?” Branch asked.
Cloud Guy shrugged. “Dunno. Wormholes move around a lot. Could be anywhere. Not Bergen Town, that’s for sure.”