“Jack talked to her just before that. I was with her.”
“I’m glad, Chuck,” Laurie said, wiping away a tear. “She needed someone.”
“Where’s Jack now?”
“He’s with Bobbi somewhere.”
“Mr. Molinsky?” A young man in green scrubs held out his hand to Chuck. “I’m Dr. Dalessio.” He shook Chuck’s hand, and after a deep breath, he said, “I’m very sorry. We did what we could.”
“I know,” Chuck said quietly. “Thank you. She was comfortable.”
“Would you like to speak with a chaplain or a counselor?”
“Thank you.” He waved toward Glen. “This is my pastor.”
“Ms. Ravenna’s son was here, too, wasn’t he?”
“He’s with my wife right now.”
“Do you want me to tell him?”
“No, I’m his father.”
“I understand. If you’ll follow me.” He led Chuck to a small conference room. He moved the slider on the room placard until it said ‘in use.’ “You’re welcome to use this room as long as you need to. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Chuck closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to think. “Toxicology?”
“Excuse me?” Dr. Dalessio asked.
“Tracy often drank, sometimes to excess. Did you do any testing to see if that was a factor?”
“We drew several samples. I’ll make a note, though, and make certain it gets done.”
“Thank you,” Chuck said. He had to know whether she committed suicide, which he should have prevented, or if it was just a reckless accident. “Is there any way I can talk to the officer who was first on the scene?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you. That’s it, I guess.”
“Again, I’m very sorry, Mr. Molinsky.” He shook hands with Chuck once more before leaving. Chuck slouched against a table, his mind racing, trying to sort through everything that needed to be done.
He reached down to his belt for his cell phone, and dialed his wife’s number. “Bobbi, I’m in a conference room outside the double doors. Tracy’s ... I need to tell Jack.”
Within a few minutes, Bobbi eased the conference room door open. Chuck tried to smile at Jack. “It’s over, isn’t it?” the boy asked. Chuck nodded slowly, and Jack collapsed into Bobbi’s arms with great sobs.
She pulled a chair closer with one hand, and eased into it, lifting Jack onto her lap. She hugged him tightly, and cried with him. “I know, Jack, I know,” she whispered over and over, rocking him back and forth.
“How do you know?” he asked at last, raising his head.
“I lost my mama when I was little. I know how it hurts.”
“What did you do?”
“I remember her every day and I hold on to the people that love me.”
“I still need a mom though.” He wiped his eyes. “Why did God let my mom die when I still needed her?”
“Oh, honey.” Bobbi pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed his eyes. “It’s not like that. God made sure you had a family ready to take care of you before your mom died. He didn’t want you to be all alone.”
Jack wiped his eyes again and looked up at Bobbi. “Can I be your son, too, and not just my dad’s?”
“You already are, Jack. You already are.”
CHAPTER 24
SACRIFICE
Chuck fell in love with his wife all over again. She put everything else aside to love a little boy who desperately needed her to share his pain. He knelt down and wrapped his arms around Bobbi and Jack, then kissed each of them. “Jack, Pastor Glen and Miss Laurie are here. They’d probably like to talk to you.”
“Okay,” he wiped his eyes and sniffled. “I think I’d like Miss Laurie to hug me.”
“I’ll be sure and tell her.” Chuck patted Jack’s back as he nestled in against Bobbi once more. “They should be close. I won’t be gone long.”
Glen and Laurie stood against the wall in the emergency room waiting area, holding hands, heads bowed. They looked up when Chuck shuffled his feet on the carpet. “Jack would like to see you. In fact, he specifically said he’d like you to hug him, Laurie.”
“He’s the sweetest little guy.” She wiped her eyes and smiled. “I’m gonna go give him his hug.” She wrapped her arm around Glen’s.
“Laurie, if you don’t mind ... I need to talk to Glen a minute.”
She nodded. “I’ll tell Jack you’ll be right in.”
Chuck watched Laurie disappear through the double doors, conscious of an ever-growing burden settling on him. “I need a favor, Glen.”
“Name it.”
“I want you to give Tracy a funeral. I don’t want Jack to grow up thinking nobody cared about his mother. I can get my firm there, and maybe I can talk some folks from church into showing up.”
“I’ll take care of getting the church folks there,” Glen said. “When do you want it?”
“Tuesday? I don’t know.”
“Let’s do it Wednesday. That’ll give me a little more time to pull it together. Do you want visitation?”
“Just a service. Thanks, this means a lot.”
“You bet.” He shook Chuck’s hand again. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I just ... I don’t know what I’m feeling right now.” Chuck paced away from Glen.
“This was quite a shock.”
“Not entirely. That’s the problem.”
A police officer strode through the outer doors, carrying his hat under his arm. He nodded to Chuck and Glen, and then peeked through the window of the double doors leading back to where Tracy had been. Finally, he wandered toward the front desk.
“I gotta go. I think this is the guy that was on the scene at Tracy’s wreck.”
“We’ll talk later,” Glen said, and headed for the conference room.
Chuck walked over toward the police officer. “Are you Kenny?”
He turned around. “Yeah, I’m Kenny Ballard.”
“You worked Tracy Ravenna’s wreck? I asked to speak with you.” Chuck held out his hand. “I’m Chuck Molinsky. Tracy and I have a son. I’m the closest thing she has to family.”
The young man shook Chuck’s hand. “How is she?”
“She didn’t make it,” Chuck said quietly.
“I’m sorry. I hoped she wasn’t as bad as she looked.”
“I know you’re going to file an official report, and maybe you can’t answer anything off the record, but ... Were there skid marks?”
“Yes, sir. There were.”
“Thank God,” Chuck said, letting a sigh of relief escape.
“Sir? I don’t understand.”
“I was afraid she’d wrecked her car on purpose. A suicide, maybe.”
“I can’t say. She slid out of a curve and the car flipped several times once she was out of the road. The accident guy will have to determine how much braking took place. From what I’ve seen, I’d guess she intended to take the curve that fast, and didn’t brake until she was already spinning.”
“She spun around?”
“I think she was facing the wrong way when she left the roadway and the car began to flip, like a barrel roll.”
“What about alcohol?”
“I couldn’t tell. There weren’t any bottles or cans in the car, but I couldn’t swear if she had it on her breath or not.” He rubbed the band of his hat. “I’m sorry I can’t be more help.”
“You’ve been a great deal of help. I appreciate you talking to me.”
“You said she had a son. How old?”
“Six.”
Officer Ballard shook his head slightly. “I’ve got an eight-year-old. That’s gonna be tough on him.”
“Yeah,” Chuck said glancing back to the conference room. “I should probably get back to him.” He shook the police officer’s hand once again.
“Just call the station if you need copies of the report for insurance or whatever. Again, I’m very sorry.” He nodded slightly, an
d slipped his hat back on as he stepped through the doors.
She intended to take the curve that fast. Hoping to wreck? If suicide was her plan, a car wreck was hardly a sure thing. That wasn’t like her. Her plans were foolproof. Something ... something else was going on. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and headed through the double doors back to the conference room.
“Chuck? How is she?”
Chuck turned around as Gavin eased the heavy door closed behind him. He tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t form. Despite his determined resolve, tears spilled out onto his cheeks. The best he could manage was a shake of his head.
“I’m so sorry. How’s Jack?”
“Like a little boy who’s just lost his mother.” He pointed toward the conference room. “He’s around the corner there, in a conference room with Bobbi and the Dillards.”
“You’re not okay either, are you?”
Chuck shook his head and slumped back against the wall. “I think she might have done it on purpose, Gavin.” It’s better this way, she said. “I knew when I left her house last night that she was upset. I should have been more adamant about getting someone to stay with her.”
“Was there a note?”
A note? What? A suicide note. “Not that I know of.” Unless it was at her house ...
“Then don’t make this harder on yourself. You can’t know what she was thinking. In fact, nobody could figure out what she was thinking most of the time.”
“I don’t know if she was saved, and she wouldn’t answer me. What if she slipped away without Jesus right in front of me?”
“Did you ever explain things to her?”
“Yeah, but ...”
“She heard Glen’s sermon Sunday, right?”
“Yeah ...”
“She’s responsible for her decision.”
“I asked her ... but all she said was ‘I took care of everything’. She was trying to tell me about her will ... What am I supposed to tell Jack when he asks me if his mother is in heaven?”
“You tell him sometimes it’s hard to know, especially if people don’t tell you.”
“Maybe.” He leaned his head back, and stared at the ceiling panels. “She was changing, Gavin, softening just a little. She was starting to trust me. I think we were getting through to her.” Despite pressing his fists against his eyes, he couldn’t stop another stream of tears. “I’ve got to get it together. I can’t let Bobbi see me like this.”
“You don’t want to cry in front of Bobbi?”
“I can’t grieve for Tracy in front of her. That’s not ... It’s just wrong.”
“I don’t think you can hide this. Especially from Bobbi.”
“You know when my dad died ... I never went through anything like that. Bobbi said I was depressed. Then with Phil ... but this is different. It’s ... it’s bitter. Does that make any sense?”
Thankfully, Gavin nodded. “You’re grieving for a woman who tragically chose self-destruction, in spite of yours and everyone else’s best efforts, and that choice has deeply wounded your son.”
“Just another round of pain from my affair.” Chuck shuffled to the conference room and pushed the door open. As soon as Jack saw him, he climbed down from Bobbi’s lap and ran to Chuck. He picked the boy up, and Jack laid his head on Chuck’s shoulder. “I love you, Jack. We’ll get through this, I promise.”
“Can we go home now?”
“Sure,” Chuck answered. “Are you all coming to the house?”
Glen looked at Laurie and Bobbi. “If you need us to, but we don’t want to intrude.”
“It’s not intruding,” Chuck said.
“They asked if we decided on a funeral home,” Bobbi said. “I told her Bricker’s.”
“That’s what I would’ve said.” Bobbi slipped her hand in his, and gently kissed his cheek. “I needed that,” he whispered.
She smiled. “I’ll let them know we’re clearing out, and be right behind you.”
Chuck eased his front door open, but Jack stiffened and wouldn’t follow him in. “What’s wrong, Jack?”
“This is my house now, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I guess so. You’re okay with that, aren’t you?”
“It’s just weird.” He walked in slowly, touching both sides of the doorframe. Rita met them in the entryway. “Aunt Rita, we saw Kara at the hospital. She took care of my mom and me.”
“Jack, honey, I am so sorry about your mom.” Rita leaned down and hugged him.
“It’s okay. She’s in heaven now. I’ll see her when I get there.” Rita looked up at Chuck, but he could only shrug. Tracy’s conversion, if it happened at all, was news to him.
“Your grandma is waiting for you in the kitchen.” Rita pointed Jack toward the back of the house. “She got here right after Uncle Gavin left.”
“How’d she know?”
“I think Bobbi, or, uh, Mrs. Dad called her.”
Jack nodded and shuffled to the kitchen.
Rita watched him, and then turned to Chuck, wiping her eyes. “Breaks my heart ...”
“Thanks for sending Gavin to the hospital.”
“I didn’t. He thought you might need somebody around. You know, to talk about guy stuff.”
She was trying to lighten things, but they both knew it was futile. Chuck sighed deeply. “Rita, I promised I’d never hurt Bobbi again, and I can’t figure out how to process all this without doing that.”
“I’d say stop tormenting yourself. Bobbi is more understanding than you realize.”
Jack found his grandmother sitting at the kitchen table, in the same spot Mrs. Dad usually sat in. Except she wasn’t Mrs. Dad anymore. He’d have to work on a new name. But not right now. His grandma reached out to him. “Come and sit.” He snuggled against her and for a long time she just held him tight. He began to cry a little, but he didn’t think she’d mind.
“You just had the worst day you will ever have,” she whispered.
“I used to think when we moved it was the worst.” He pushed away so he could look at her. “But we were all alone then. I lost my mom, but I’m not all alone.”
“Sweetheart, you never will be all alone.”
He smiled a little. Nobody ever called him sweetheart. It didn’t sound so sissy-babyish when she said it though. “Grandma, does God know what you’re thinking?”
“Yes.”
“Even if you never, ever say it out loud?”
“Even then. Why?”
“My mom never said much about what she was thinking. But she thought a lot about a lot of stuff.”
“Your mother had a lot to think about, I suppose.”
“Specially the last few days. Every time I talked to her, she said, ‘huh?’ ’cause she was thinking about something else. And she said she was tired a lot. She fainted when my dad came to get me. Maybe she was getting sick anyway.”
“It’s hard to say.”
“You know what else? She made me promise to always listen to my dad. I do that anyway.”
“You sound frustrated.”
“Why would she want me to promise when I already was?”
“Sometimes, and I don’t know if this is the case with your mother, but sometimes when grown-ups have a bad day or they feel a little sad, that reassures them somehow.”
“Like it was her idea and not mine?”
“Exactly! You are a smart cookie, Jackson!”
“Just Jack.”
“Why don’t you like Jackson?”
“It’s an old guy name. Like Mr. Dailey. His name is John Jackson and he’s about a hundred and seven.” His grandma laughed.
“And Jack is a kid name?”
He nodded. “You’re a smart cookie, too, Grandma.” A yawn sneaked up on him, and when he opened his eyes again, his dad was there. “Is Shannon in bed?”
“Yes,” his dad said.
“I think I want to go to bed, too.” Jack eased off his grandma’s lap.
“That’s probably a goo
d idea. Come on, I’ll take you up.” His dad held out a hand, and Jack slipped his inside, letting his dad lead him upstairs. Jack brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas. At least his stuff was already here. He climbed into Brad’s bed, and his dad pulled the blanket up around him. “Jack, did your mom tell you she was going to heaven?”
“No. I just know it.”
“Of course you do.” His dad kissed him on the forehead. “If you need me in the nighttime, you come and get me, okay?”
“Dad? Can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“What do I call Mrs. Dad now?”
“What do you want to call her?”
“I want to call her Mom, but I’m afraid it’ll make my mom sad if she knows I’m calling somebody else Mom.”
“No, Jack. Your mom knows she can’t be with you, and I think she’d be glad to know you had someone else to love and take care of you. Bobbi’s not going to take your mom’s place. You’re making a new place for her in your heart.”
“My mom didn’t have a lot of extra places in her heart.”
“She was afraid, Jack. Afraid people might hurt her or make her sad.”
“She loved you.”
“What?” His dad kind of laughed. “I think you misunderstood her.”
He huffed. “She said, ‘Jack, I love your dad very much, but I messed it up.’ I think I understood her.”
“That’s news to me.”
“Grown-ups don’t know everything,” Jack said.
“We don’t. You’re right. Is that how you know your mom’s in heaven?”
“She said she was tired of everything, and God could just do what He wanted. And Brad said God wants everybody in heaven with Him.”
“I see,” his dad said.
Another yawn sneaked up on him. “Dad, can you stay with me until I go to sleep?”
His dad pushed his bangs off his forehead. “I’ll be right here.”
The Dillards, the Heatleys and Ann stayed just long enough to drink a cup of coffee with Bobbi and Chuck, and then they shared a prayer before heading home. As Bobbi gathered up the cups and saucers, Chuck began putting them in the dishwasher. “Why don’t you go on to bed?” Bobbi said. “I’ll finish up here.”
Indemnity: Book Two: Covenant of Trust Series Page 30