by Shan
"How is me turning to a drug dealer gonna keep DeMarcus from beating my ass?" I asked with attitude.
"Who knows? Maybe, you can make enough money to get away from his ass or even hire a nigga to murk that fool," Jahzara laughed and so did Honey.
"Whatever!" I tossed a pillow at Honey.
"Seriously though, since I've known you and Honey, that's all y'all have talked about— getting out of the hood and having so much money you wouldn't know what to do with it. I know one thing, though. I'm never going back to Wet Dreams, and I'm damn sure not going back to my parents," Jahzara said.
"I'm in, Jah. You don't have to ask me twice," Honey smacked her lips.
"Nah, I'm good. Y'all have fun with that," I smiled weakly.
I listened to Honey and Jahzara put their plan together on how they were gonna move the dope. They went through plan after plan, but none of them sounded decent enough to me. I honestly thought they were foolish and wanted nothing to do with that shit.
29
Jahzara
4
Jahzara
The robbery and homicide at Wet Dreams forced the club to shut down for a few days, but it didn't take long before the owners reopened for business. Fools were piling back in looking for a peep show like nothing ever happened. I said that I wouldn't dare step foot into that muthafucka again after what went down, but money had to be made. Besides, Honey and I needed a real live d-boy to help us get started on our little venture. Wet Dreams stayed packed with dudes that hustled, and all I had to do was point out the one that was at the top of his game.
Honey was right about everything she had said the other night. Had Quin been a real man, those bricks would have been sold and bought already. Instead of saving them for when he came home in the months to come, he could've easily given the green light for me to get rid of them to invest in our future. Since he didn't, he had me out here struggling, shaking my ass for men, and he wanted to dump me because of it. He forced me to take matters into my own hands.
I know, once he finds out that I sold his shit, he will try to kill me, I thought, which is why I have to do this shit quick, fast, and in a hurry. I had to come up quick and get the fuck out of dodge before Quin could even come home and find out what happened.
Quin knew what kind of life I was living before he pulled me out of my parents’ care, and he promised me that he would give me everything I had and more. Staying by his side through his bid was a hard pill to swallow, but I did it. For the first few years, I was there, struggling and never even thought about another man. I played my part to the best of my ability, and this nigga couldn't even show me the same respect and do his? So now it's like, what's a bitch supposed to do? I wondered.
I refused to go back to my parents’ house for them to preach to me about how they knew this would happen or how they told me that would happen. Nah, not gonna happen, I thought.
I strutted through the club on a mission, heels clicking, hips twerking, and ass jiggling. I spotted a few brothers that looked like they were getting it, but none of them had that “It” factor. Just because a dude had on a shit load of jewelry, a knot of cash, and was drinking on a bottle of Dom didn't mean he was a true baller. I was looking for the dude that wasn't looking to attract the limelight, the one that looked like money but didn't care to show it.
"Mmm, there he is," I smiled, while looking at a mocha colored brother dressed in a white t-shirt and black jeans. He wore a simple pair of Air Force Ones on his feet, a small cross around his neck, and a tiny, tiny pinkie ring. "Gentlemen."
"Shawty, got a fat ass!" one of the fellas yelled that was sitting nearby.
I did a lil' dance to make my booty clap a few times, then made my way over to my target. He smirked as he eyed my full set of breasts and thick thighs.
"Sup, daddy? Wanna lap dance?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
"How much for a dance?" he asked.
"Twenty minimum," I said, sliding into his lap. He smelled of weed and Issey Miyake cologne. "What's your name, daddy?"
"Imran. What they call you?"
He slid a twenty dollar bill down the front of my bra top and popped the string afterwards for effect.
"Jazzy," I cooed in his ear as I bounced my ass and rolled my hips like I was riding his dick.
"Jazzy, huh? Show me some tricks. I know you got some."
"Nah, I ain't here for that. I got a proposition for you." I slowed up a lil' to look into his eyes.
"Oh, yeah? What's that?" Imran asked unable to keep his attention away from my breasts.
"I got some bricks, and I need some help moving them. You help me, and I'll give you one free and clear for your troubles."
"I don't fool around with dope, mama. What you think this is?" He placed his hands on my thighs to push me away.
"I know exactly what it is. You in deep, and it's written all over your face. One brick free and clear and three percent profit. Make your mind up and let me know. I'll be around." I gave him a peck on the cheek and slid off of his lap.
Imran grabbed my arm and pulled me back down on his lap. He looked me dead in my eyes this time, no straying away to other body parts.
"Is there somewhere we can go to speak in private?" he asked.
I nodded my head, slid off of him again, and then pulled him to his feet. We walked through the club and out the back exit. Once outside, I got a real good glimpse of how gorgeous Imran really was. The club lights did nothing for his beauty nor his swag. I knew dude was on one, but, once we walked out into the night light, it was definitely proven.
"So, what's this you talking about? You a hustla, or you just fuck with a hustla?" Imran asked.
"I'm just trying to get out this club and stop shaking my ass for chump change. Can you help me or not?" I asked.
Imran went into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Newports. He slid out the cancer stick and fired it up. He leaned against the brick wall and eyed me from head to toe.
"What's your real name, Jazzy?" Imran asked, sucking from his square.
"Jahzara, but my name doesn't have anything to do with this. Are you—"
He cut me off.
"Where the birds at? Let me see what you working with."
"Just let me know if you’re gonna help me or not. We can set up a time and place later for all that," I insisted, stepping closer to him.
Imran laughed, "I need to see what I'm dealing with first. You might be the police or something. Shoot me your number, and I'll get up with you tomorrow."
I called my number out for Imran to store in his iPhone and then made my way back into the club. I hoped like hell that Imran was the right choice and that this wasn't going to be some big come up for him. I needed somebody who was already on. A brick with maybe a small percentage was just a nice incentive for helping a sister out.
Guess I'll just have to wait and find out, I thought.
*****
The following morning, I got a call from Imran. He wanted to meet to discuss whether or not he would help me with the product. I gave him my address, and he said that he would be over around noon. I had Honey come over to the house before he got there, in case the fool tried to get out of line and pull some shit on me.
"Jah! Calm down, mami!" Honey snapped.
I was freaking out and nervous ‘cause I knew that what I was doing would have some backlash. Quin still had eight months left in prison and didn't have to know anything about what I was doing, but the thought of him finding out had me shaking like a leaf. My plan was to use his dope, make as much money as possible, and replace it before he got home and even knew what I'd done. The first plan I came up with was leaving and getting out of dodge, but that meant I would be on the run for the rest of my life. Nah, not happening.
"I'm trying to calm down. I just can't help but think about Quin finding out and what he will do to me once he gets out," I said nervously.
"He's not gonna find out, and so what if he did, Jahzara? You been holding that man down fo
r three and a half years, strugglin’ while he had the means to provide a decent life for you but didn’t! Then, he wants to dump you! You deserve to profit from the dope, and you shouldn’t owe him a dime!” Honey yelled.
The knock at the door caused me to damn near jump from my skin. I looked at Honey to see if she was ready. Then, she sashayed over to open the door. On the other side, Imran stood wearing a white wife beater, a pair of gray jogging pants, and some damn flip flops. I did my best not to frown at the disappointment his appearance was. I had pegged him to be a baller, and the muthafucka shows up looking like one of the local d-boys.
"Sup, Jahzara? You gonna let me come in or what?" Imran asked.
"Umm, yeah," I stepped out the way and allowed Imran to enter. Honey and I traded looks before I offered Imran a seat. "This is my girl Honey. Honey, this is Imran.
"Sup, beautiful? How are you?" Imran asked Honey.
“Mejor que usted busque," Honey said with a slight giggle.
“Yo acababa de salir de la cama. Me disculpo," Imran said, surprising me and shocking the hell out of Honey. Her face turned red before she broke into laughter.
"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. It's not like I look any better right now," Honey said, shaking her head in shame.
"Okay! Glad to see that you two will get along perfectly," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Let's see what you got," Imran suggested.
I nodded my head and walked to my bedroom where I'd placed one of the kilos. I grabbed it and went back into the living room. Honey and Imran were deeply engaged in a conversation that I couldn't understand. Whatever the hell he was saying to her had the bitch blushing rosy red.
I dropped the kilo on the coffee table, bringing their attention to the white powder that shined like crystals through the clear wrapping.
"Damn, you wasn't playing, huh? How many of these did you say you have?" Imran's mouth seemed to water as he stared at the dope.
"I didn't, but this one is yours if you help me. I learned a few things from watching my old man, but I need to know more," I said, looking on seriously.
"Is this where you got that from? Your old man?" Imran raised a brow in suspicion.
"Yeah, he was killed a few weeks back and left her this product," Honey quickly lied, causing me to twist my facial expression up.
Imran looked up at me for confirmation, and I hurriedly fixed my face and nodded. He took a pocket knife out of his pocket and sliced a tiny slit into the package. Once he brought the knife out, small traces of residue glistened in the light. Imran dipped his tongue onto the knife, shook his head, and coiled back like he'd just got a taste of something bitter.
"Hell! Where did your old man get this shit from?" Imran asked while nodding his head. "Put this up. We need to go to the store."
Honey and I looked at each other once again as Imran explained that, in order for us to do anything, we needed supplies to get us started. I locked the weight up and left to go to the store with Imran and Honey.
I left out the door as the Jahzara that wouldn't do no wrong to anybody, the chick that would've never betrayed her man, but, when I returned, I would be coming back as Jah.
35
5 Honey
5
Honey
A whole week had gone by since I'd been back to the place I shared with Cedric. Although I told his ass to get out before I left, I secretly wished that he would be there when I walked in. No matter what, I couldn't seem to shake the love I had for him. We'd been through so much together, so many ups and downs, that it didn't even seem right to just give up on it all.
Now that I was down with this new hustle with Jahzara and Imran, I hoped that things would get better for me and Cedric. I had made enough money in the past week to get the lights back on, get some groceries, and even get myself a cell phone from Metro PCS. Things started off slower than Jahzara and I had expected, but Imran assured us that things would pick up and that we would be making more money than we knew what to do with. He said that the product we had was top shit and that niggas would die to get to their hands on it. Once fiends figured out our shit was better than the rest, business would be booming.
I walked into my apartment and was surprised to see that the lights were already on, since I had just paid them less than an hour ago. The place had been cleaned from top to bottom, smelling like Pine-Sol and incense. I slightly smiled knowing that Cedric had to be home. I made my way into the bedroom and spotted Cedric lying across the bed, shirtless with a pair of jeans on. His light snores traveled through the bedroom, making me aware that he was asleep. I dropped my duffle bag on the floor and headed to the bathroom to shower.
I hadn't realized how tired I was until I stepped foot into the tiny bathroom. Imran had been working me and Jahzara like slaves. He taught us how to take the powder form of the coke and turn it into the crack rock that we needed to distribute and sell. Over and over again, we measured out the soft product ounce by ounce, mixed it with water, boiled it, and then froze it. We did the steps so many times that I swear, every time, I closed my eyes it was all I saw. That and images of Jahzara and me going back and forth from the freezer to the stove. We cut up so many cookies that our hands burned from the residue. Imran failed to tell us that using gloves and masks would be beneficial to our health. Nonetheless, I couldn't wait until I was stacking up some paper.
I drenched my head underneath the stream of hot water and allowed the heat to relax my body. I was really beginning to feel the stress of the week and was more than ready to go and lay next to my man. I guess I will apologize for going so hard on him, knowing that he tried his best even if, sometimes, it isn’t enough, I thought. Maybe, now that me and Jahzara have this lil’ work going, we will have some room to bring Cedric in since Tomeka doesn’t want to have anything to do with it.
“When did you get here?” Cedric asked, causing me to jump at the sound of his voice.
“Not too long ago! You scared me!” I yelled over the water.
“Come and see me when you get out! We need to talk!” Cedric pulled the shower curtain back and exited the bathroom.
I quickly finished showering and made my way into the bedroom where Cedric was sitting on the edge of the bed, rolling up a Dutch Master. I had a big, thick, blue towel wrapped around my body as I stood in the middle of the floor, waiting on Cedric to speak up and say whatever was on his mind. Silence crippled the space between us, and my curiosity was peaked more than ever now. He wore a look of frustration and sadness, making me wonder if all of this was stemming from me walking out on him or if it was something else.
“Cedric, you said you wanted to talk. Talk!” I demanded, dropping my towel to the floor. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a pink and white negligée.
“Honey, we’ve been together forever. Through break ups, make ups, just—Shit!— every damn thing. I know that I haven’t been the man that you needed and maybe wanted me to be, but I have been here for you, and you know that.”
“I know, Cedric, and that’s why I wanted to apolo—”
“I’m not done," Cedric said, cutting me off. His tone suddenly became firm, causing me to stop what I was doing to look him in his eyes.
"Look, I'm—"
"How long have you been fucking him?"
I blinked my eyes repeatedly and hoped that I wasn't hearing him correctly. Did he just ask me who I was fucking? Does he know? I wondered. But how? We were so careful.
"¡Lo que sea! ¡No sólo me preguntas! What…what did you just ask me?" I asked, suddenly feeling like there wasn't enough air in the room.
"You heard what the fuck I said? How long, Honey?"
"I don't know what you are talking about. How dare you accuse me? Is it because you are half the man you are supposed to be?" I yelled, trying to turn things around. My cheating was so sporadic that I didn't even see how it was possible that he even knew about it. I wouldn't dare admit to anything because I had a feeling he was just fishing around for info.
"¿Cómo se atreve usted?"
Cedric chuckled to himself and then flicked the ashes of the blunt into the ashtray. He stood up from the bed, and it was the first time I noticed that he already had on his shirt and shoes. He bent down and grabbed two bags that sat at his feet that I had failed to notice as well.
"You're leaving? What is this? What is going on?" I asked, beginning to panic. "Cedric!"
"Never, Honey! Not even once!" Cedric yelled, and I knew what he was referring to. He always commended himself on being a one woman man, but, unfortunately for him, I couldn't be a one man woman.
"And I never cheated! Cedric! You have to believe me! Someone is telling lies!"
"The eyes don't lie! I know what I saw. Don't even worry. I'm only half a man anyway, so why the fuck you got them tears in your eyes? I'm out."
Cedric turned his back to me and walked out of our bedroom.
"Cedric! Cedric!" I cried after him. I ran out of the bedroom, half-naked, titties swinging all over the place. "Don't you…No te das una vuelta por esa puerta!"
"Get out of my way, Honey! All this time we've been together, I never once fucked another bitch! Never! You are…you were the only woman I needed! I can't believe you did me like this, and then you lie to me about it!"
"Cedric, I'm sorry it was one— "
I started, but Cedric cut me off.
"And you still lying! Get out of my way, Honey! It's over!"
Cedric pushed me to the side and pulled open the door. He took one last look at me before he walked out of the house and out of my life.
*****
"Hey," I said, putting my purse down on Jahzara's table and slouching down into a chair.
"My god! You look like shit. What the hell happened to you?" Jahzara asked.
"I didn't get any sleep last night. Cedric left me," I sighed.
"What do you mean ‘he left you’? You put him out, so how could he leave you?"
"You know how I am, Jahzara. I always put him out, but I never mean it. What the hell am I going to do without Cedric?"