She turned her face away, unable to meet his angry gaze. “I remember the times in your arms, when you made love to me. No, you never forced me to submit, did you? But you knew a hundred ways to make my body scream, ways to make me tremble with desire, my blood turn to fire. Never had I envisioned such joy, and I thought it had to be love. Later, I felt used.”
“I never meant to make you feel that way.” He stepped forward and put his arms around her, pulling her to his strong chest. She could feel the pounding of his heart. “You had your painful memories to bear, but so did I. I learned early that a woman can’t be trusted, and every time I came close to giving you my heart, you showed me you were like all the others. I wanted to give you a chance. I want to give you another now. Damn it, Kitty, I’m asking you to give both of us a chance at a future together. Maybe this isn’t the time or the place, with the Union troops marching over your homelands, and your father hardly cold in his grave. But the future is actually the present when you stop and think about it, no matter what the circumstances. This is here and now, and I’m telling you that I love you, that I want you, and that I want us to have a life together.”
Their eyes met and held, each searching the other for some reason for confidence.
“I love you, Kitty. I think I loved you from that first moment. And when we made love that first time, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. You were in my blood, and for a long time I hated you for it. I had vowed that never again would a woman possess my heart to trample upon it. Yet, you, who were promised to an enemy soldier, you took my heart and made it your prisoner.”
“I know about your past,” she confessed. “I know about your mother. I know about the other woman in your life who used you. Sam told me. He thought I had a right to know. He saw what was happening between us, and he loved us both enough that he wanted to help us get together. But now I wonder if you could ever trust me, Travis. Perhaps your wounds are too deep.”
“My mother didn’t actually betray me, Kitty.” His voice was bitter. He held her tightly, and she could feel his warm breath on her face. “She betrayed my father. He killed her and then himself, leaving me and my sister behind. I had that grief to bear. Then I went through the horror of having my sister kidnapped by slave traders who sold her into a life of hell as a captive prostitute. She could not endure it, and she killed herself. That was why I joined the Union Army when the war broke out, even though I was a Southerner. I would give my life to help stop the enslavement of human beings.
“In my agony and loneliness, I turned to a woman of the streets, who found pleasure in any man’s arms. True, I have bitter memories of some women, but you’re different. I’ve seen you work as hard to save the life of a Union soldier as you would for a Confederate. I’ve seen you stand up under pressures that would have made another woman faint. You’re strong. You’re also the most hellish woman I’ve ever tried to contend with. But you’ve a way about you that goes deeper than beauty—and God, you’re beautiful! I want a future with you, Kitty Wright. I want to forget the past and build all my tomorrows with you.”
She drew in her breath in wonder. Then she reached out to trail gentle fingertips down his stubbled face. “Oh, Travis, there’s so much pain to forget.”
“We can overshadow that with happiness.”
“Yes, yes, we can.” Their lips met, and they melted together.
Gently he pulled her down to her knees and they sank to the ground. Then they were lying side by side, and he was slowly unbuttoning her shirt. She could feel the hardness of his manhood throbbing against her thigh, the pulsating strength that told her he wanted her.
“How I have dreamed of this, darling,” he murmured.
And so they soared together, climbing to the sun, drifting among the clouds, dancing in the wind and finally floating back to earth.
For a moment, neither moved or spoke. They savored their closeness. Then Travis raised his head to gaze down upon her with a strange coldness in his gray eyes. “I love you, Kitty, but heed me well. I give you my heart, and if you ever trample upon it and deceive me, you will rue the day we met. For I will have my revenge, be assured.”
A chill moved through her. He frightened her. Travis could be kind and loving, but he could also be absolutely ruthless. And this was the side of him that she feared, for when he was truly riled, he was a dangerous man.
“Be good to me, Kitty, and I will worship you. But do me wrong, and you will suffer. This I swear.”
“I…I don’t think I like being threatened.” Her voice was braver than she felt. But she was not about to be intimidated. “And if you think I’m one of those dizzy women who will be content to sit in the parlor and tat and embroider and make idle chatter with other scatterbrained females, you are wrong, sir. Nor will I be content to sit at home and have a baby every year while you have adventure and excitement. I have a spirit of my own. It is a free spirit, and no man will ever possess me completely.”
He laughed then, that smug laugh that she had always hated. It was infuriating, as though he knew he possessed the upper hand and only humored her when she talked independence. “I already do possess you, little one, and don’t you forget it. Now enough of this grim talk. We must leave here and go to Goldsboro and find a room for you while Sam and I rejoin our men. There will be time later to talk about what to do with you.”
He got to his feet, straightening his uniform. She scrambled up to put her clothes in order. “What do you mean, ‘talk about what to do with me’? I know what I’m going to do, Travis. I’m going to farm this land. The scuppernong vines are coming up. You should see them!” Her voice trembled with excitement. “I might make enough from the crop this year to pay for repairing my father’s bee hives. Then, from the honey, I can save money to think about planting tobacco next year. Poppa said this land is good for tobacco. I can find a job in town to tide me over till I can get on my feet. Maybe I can even get a loan at the bank to build a small farmhouse.”
He whirled around, eyes wide. “Are you crazy, woman? You talk nonsense. We don’t know yet what the impact of the North’s victory will be upon the South. Your land may be taken from you. Have you thought about that?”
Her chin jutted upward in the stubborn gesture that told Travis there was no point in trying to argue with her now. But she would see, he thought wearily. War changes everything, and life as she had known it would never return.
“We’ll talk later,” he said, forcing a smile and holding out his hands to her. “It’s enough for now to know that we have an understanding, Kitty. I love you, and you say you love me. For now, that’s enough to build on.”
She took his hand and returned his smile. “You’ll see, Travis Coltrane.” She was bubbling with enthusiasm as they made their way out of the woods. “This farm will one day be the most prosperous in all of Wayne County. It will be a fine place to raise a family.”
“Kitty, I don’t…” He had stopped walking and stood staring down at her, searching her eyes, seeing such a happy glow there that he could not go on. He could not tell her that her dreams would not come true. He could not tell her that it was not his intention to settle in North Carolina. His home was the Louisiana bayou, and it was there he wanted to take her. He would have to tell her these things later.
“Later,” he said gruffly, tugging at her hand to pull her along to where Sam Bucher waited on the other side of the field. “Later, I will tell you, Kitty. For now, there are things to be done.”
And she squeezed his hand, confident in their love, sure that only joy and happiness lay ahead. She did not see the shadows in Travis Coltrane’s eyes.
Chapter Two
It had been General William T. Sherman’s plan from the time he left Savannah, Georgia, to have all available men and armies of the North meet at Goldsboro, North Carolina, which was the most important rail supply center for the Confederate armies around Richmond. General Joseph E. Johnston, with his Army of Tennessee, had not been sure of Sherman’s route un
til after he had left Fayetteville, North Carolina. It had appeared that Sherman was heading for Raleigh, but when his left wing made a right turn along the Goldsboro road, just ten miles out of Fayetteville, his plan became clear.
General Johnston had called on Generals Bragg, Hardee and Hampton to join him in a surprise attack on Sherman’s left wing before Sherman could consolidate all his armies in Goldsboro. These three small Confederate armies numbered only twenty thousand men. They knew that their only chance to destroy Sherman’s larger army would be a surprise attack on the flank of a divided army. In all, Sherman had sixty thousand men, divided into three sections—left and right wings, and middle army.
Johnston chose to attack the extreme left wing of Sherman’s army approaching from Fayetteville in the west, thinking this the weakest and most spread out segment of the armies. So he hurried from Smithfield where he had been concentrating men and supplies to cut Sherman off, reaching Bentonville almost a day ahead of Sherman.
For three days the battle raged, from March 19 to March 21, 1865. More than one hundred thousand troops were involved. The first day’s battle was won by the Confederates, but the second and third days were lost as the South suffered heavy casualties. General Johnston had not figured that Sherman’s middle army was so close behind his advance guard, enabling him to reinforce his men quickly. Thus, the tide turned against the South. Casualty records reported 2,825 Confederate soldiers killed, wounded or missing. There were 1,646 Federal casualties.
Johnston retreated northward over Mill Creek toward Smithfield during the night of the third day of battle, and Sherman was content to let him go, for most of his men were weary after their seven-week march of four hundred and thirty miles from Savannah to Goldsboro.
As Kitty Wright, Travis Coltrane and Sam Bucher made their way into town, they passed many of Sherman’s men camped along the road.
“Where’d you pick up that pretty Southern belle?” a bedraggled soldier called to Travis, recognizing him. “Is that what you were a’doing while we were fighting our butts off?”
Travis ignored him. Kitty, sitting behind him on the horse, put her arms about his waist a little bit tighter. The looks the men gave her were frightening. Travis sensed as much and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you’re safe, Kitty. They won’t bother you.”
“What about the other women in Goldsboro?” she asked worriedly, turning her face as a soldier made an obscene gesture. “Everyone has heard that your General Sherman allows all kinds of horrors—killing, burning and rape.”
“It’s been a long war, Kitty. The men are tired, and they’re ready to go home. They are only trying to punish the South for dragging out the damn war, and starting it as well.”
She straightened. “And what about you, Travis? Have you gone about the countryside looting and murdering and raping to punish the South?”
“No,” he said quietly. “I’ve killed, yes. So many I lost count. I never stole anything unless it meant the difference in my starving or not. As for rape, no, I never had to rape any woman.”
She bristled angrily, and he chuckled. “Now, now, Kitty, you’re letting your jealousy show, along with your Southern pride. If you’re going to be the woman of a Union cavalryman, you’re going to have to get over some of both.”
“I’ll never give up my Southern pride. This is my country. These are my people.”
“Your father was killed by one of your people,” he reminded her tartly. “Not by one of mine.”
Closing her eyes, she waited for the wave of bitterness to pass. “Nathan Collins was not typical of the gentle Southern people. He was a scoundrel and a traitor, and I never want to hear his name again.”
“I imagine you will, though. It’s likely that deserters hiding in the bushes saw what happened, and you can be sure they’ll spread the word. Nathan Collins will be a hero in these parts, if them people here hated your father the way I think they did. And you talk of staying and rebuilding his farm.” He snorted.
“Of course I’m going to stay and rebuild the farm,” she flared, her violet eyes flashing. “It’s my land. I promised my father I would never give it up. One day it will be the finest farm in all of Wayne County. I’ll make it a tribute to my father. I’ll never let people forget what a fine man he truly was.”
She felt him sigh, saw the slight shaking of his head.
“Don’t you believe me, Travis? Can’t you see why it’s so important to me to make that land prosper? It was my father’s dream, and I owe it to his memory to make that dream come true. If you loved him as you say you did, then you share that dream also.”
He took a deep breath. “Kitty, the only dream I have right now is to see this war officially end, and then I want to make you my wife. I want us to make a life together, wherever we can find peace. Now, can’t you share my dream?”
For some reason, she was frightened. “Where do you propose to find this peace, Travis?”
“Well, not here in Wayne County on land that belonged to a man everyone hated, that’s for sure. You want your neighbors to burn you out again? And how do you think they’d take to a Yankee soldier coming in to settle on that land? They’ll hate you as much as they hated your father. You would be asking for trouble, Kitty, and you would never know any peace. No, darling, it would be far better for you and me to go far away from here, to forget the pain of the past and look to the future. I had planned to talk about this later, but you brought it up, and I can’t stand to hear you talk on and on about the rosy world ahead on your father’s farmland. There will never be anything here but trouble.”
“I’ll never leave,” she cried, leaning back away from him. “You can’t make me, Travis.”
He reined the horse to a stop, motioning to Sam to keep going. They were in a bend on the road, with thickets on each side. No one was about. Travis got down out of the saddle, then reached to put firm hands about Kitty’s waist and pull her down beside him.
“Yes, I can make you leave, my darling,” he whispered, pulling her close. She struggled against his chest. “I can make you leave because you love me as I love you, and you know it is meant for us to be together. You are going to go with me now, and I think we should be married for decency’s sake.” He smiled, eyes twinkling.
“Marry you?” she gasped. “Right now? And do what, Travis Coltrane? The war isn’t over yet. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”
“You’re coming with me as I march with General Sherman,” he said, as though it were quite simple. “We have hospital wagons, too, you know. I can see that you are assigned to ride with them. When the war is officially over, and I am discharged, we’ll go home to Louisiana. Oh, Kitty, wait till you see the bayou country there! It’s beautiful, like God spent extra time there so it would be special.”
“You are out of your mind!” She pushed him away, trembling. “Travis, you know how I feel about Poppa’s land. How could I just walk away from it? You ask if I love you, and I tell you I do. You claim to love me, yet you propose to take me a million miles away to a strange country, away from everything I have ever known.”
“We’ll make a new life together, Kitty. We’ll have our own family, and we won’t think about the past.”
Why wasn’t he taking her seriously? “I won’t leave here, Travis. And if you love me as you say you do, you won’t ask me to go. You will stay here with me and help me make that land prosper. We have our future right here.”
His eyes were no longer shining. “Kitty, you are tired, and so am I. You’ve been through quite an ordeal in the past day. You lost your father. You realized what a scoundrel Nathan really was. I don’t think now is the time for planning. Suppose we go on our way. Once we get to Goldsboro, we can spend time talking. If we keep on this way, we are only going to hurt each other, saying things we may regret.”
Suddenly she threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. This man had saved her life many times, seen her through much anguish. She loved him with all her heart. With
tear-streaked face, she lifted her lips for his kiss. His hands squeezed her against him, closer.
“Well, well, how sweet the spoils of war.”
They sprang apart, jerking their heads about to see two soldiers on foot, both grinning. The one who had spoken saluted. “Captain Coltrane, you sure don’t waste any time. Where’d you find the little filly? She looks so willing, too. Hell, we found us a woman last night, and it took three of us to hold her down so we could take turns. It was worth it, though. Some of these Southern women got some sweet ass.”
Travis’s fist went crashing into his mouth, sending him sprawling to the ground. His companion started to move closer, in defense, but Travis had his side arm out. “Now let me tell you bastards a thing or two,” he snarled as the man on the ground raised his head dizzily, blood pouring from his mouth. “This is Miss Kitty Wright, and she is the woman I plan to marry. So you spread the word that she is to be treated with absolute respect. Any man who offends her will answer to me. And as for the other women in town, I’d better not hear of any more violations. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir,” the man still standing said, helping his friend to his feet. He was trembling with anger but knew better than to cross Travis Coltrane.
The two moved on. Travis got on his horse and helped Kitty up behind him. They rode along in silence. Rounding a hilltop to find Sam waiting, he called out, “We’ve been asked to camp outside town while General Schofield makes ready a welcome.”
“Did he have any resistance in Goldsboro?” Kitty asked worriedly. “Was there much fighting?”
The Raging Hearts: The Coltrane Saga, Book 2 Page 2