Isabelle was only 10, but she wasn’t stupid, not anymore. She now knew what rape was and about drugs and prostitution, but she wasn’t afraid, just miserable. Most times there wasn’t really much to eat so she’d steal from local convenience stores. Her favorite was the Twinkies at Ally Mart because they were right by the door and she could sneak them into her coat pocket as soon as she walked in.
She never had to steal to survive until Arnie left, but it was something she’d gotten used to.
Even though she soon found out that what Arnie tried to do to her before he left was rape, she still missed him. He was the closest thing she had to a father. He made sure she always had food to eat and he genuinely loved her. They had a bond that she never experienced with her own mother.
Arnie had been in Isabelle’s life since she was 4 years old and he was the only father she knew. When her mother refused, Arnie was there. When her mother ignored, Arnie was there. Where her mother deprived, Arnie was there.
After a while Isabelle stopped relying on her mother and solely trusted Arnie, until he left. After Arnie left so did Isabelle’s joy and youth. She couldn’t live as a carefree adolescent with her biggest worry concerning her ragged dolls. Now she had to worry about adult issues, issues that didn’t really concern her, but if she wanted to survive they would.
Dreams of a small dog named Ginger running wild through a manicured yard filled with family was just that, a dream. Isabelle dreamed, but she never hoped. Hope would only leave her disappointed so when she wasn’t dreaming, she prayed.
Lord, if you’re listening please make mama better. She gets worse every day. She is always passing out in the living room and not ever making me anything to eat.
I just pray that when I go in the kitchen that there’s something to eat and that my mama is smiling. I just want her to hug me and sing to me like she used to and paint pictures to hang in my room. I pray you will make it all right. Amen.
Isabelle’s eyes were bursting with tears. She didn’t cry much, but when she did it was intense. Sometimes she couldn’t bear being only 10 years old with so many adult predicaments. Her prayers and dreams were the only things that could really get her through, so she held them closely and vowed to never let them go.
“Isabelle!” she heard her mother squeal from the living room.
She almost didn’t want to go, but she knew disobeying her mother would only make matters worse, so she dragged her small body into the room where her mother lay.
“Get over here so I can see you. I need to see you when I’m talking to you,” her mother coughed.
She was obviously high, but when she was high it was the only time Isabelle could tolerate her.
“Look, you’re going to stay with your grandma. Don’t ask me any questions because no matter what you may think, I’m the mama here not you,” Sharon slurred as she almost fell off of the couch while pointing as Isabelle to somehow show authority.
Isabelle had never lived with her grandmother, but she always thought she was nice. Whenever she visited her she always felt warm on the inside and loved. She only lived about 15 minutes away, but they didn’t visit her often. Her grandmother hated to see Sharon is such bad condition and Sharon hated to see her mother at all.
“When?” Isabelle anxiously asked.
“Now,” Sharon replied plainly.
CHAPTER 7
“What the hell are you doing here, Brian!” she shrieked while slowly backing away from him.
“Don’t do that to me. Don’t act like I’m some stranger to you now. You must have a new little boyfriend,” he smiled. “You don’t love me anymore?”
“I think it’s best that you leave here now!” Isabelle insisted while standing a good distance away from Brian.
Even though deep down inside she hated him, there was still an attraction. He was as handsome as she remembered and even though he betrayed her by leaving, she still loved him.
“Why should I leave? I love you Isabelle and I made a terrible mistake. I don’t know why I ever thought you weren’t the girl for me. You’re everything a man would ever want in a woman and I want you back. I was stupid and I wasn’t thinking straight when I wrote that note, but I love you, Isabelle.”
Isabelle didn’t believe a word that came out of Brian’s mouth. She couldn’t deny her love for Brian, but she couldn’t let him just flounce back into her life. He’d dropped her like a bad habit and didn’t bother to pick up the pieces of her heart after he shattered them.
“Are you insane? You left me a letter on my windshield breaking up with me. You didn’t even bother to be a man and tell me to my face. After all we’d been through you didn’t even find me worth the trouble of breaking up with properly. You men are all the same, you just expect a woman to be at your every beck and call. I’m not falling for your crap, Brian. Throw it to someone who will catch it, but I will not,” she said firmly and without budging.
“You don’t mean that,” he replied with sadness. “You’re not going to stand here and tell me that you don’t love me!” he demanded loudly, which made other students halt their conversation and direct their attention to them.
“Quiet down, you’re making people stare,” she insisted as she grabbed his arm and clenched her teeth.
“No! Why should I? I want you and I love you and I don’t care who hears it. As a matter of fact I want them all to hear me!” he yelled in the direction of the other students.
“You’re behaving like a wild man and I won’t sit around and deal with it.” She eyed his body up and down and proceeded to walk in the direction of Holland Hall.
“Wait!” he grabbed her arm to stop her. “Please don’t go,” he asserted.
“Let me go!” She struggled or a few moments while dropping her bag on the ground.
“Please just listen to me. Give me two minutes to explain,” he pleaded.
“One minute and 58 seconds remain,” she snapped while she tapped her foot impatiently on the sidewalk.
“I have to admit that I thought of you as a charity case, but I liked it at first. I felt like I was doing a service and it made me feel good about myself. That’s not saying I didn’t fall madly in love with you. All the time we spent together and the secrets we revealed to each other only made us closer over the years. You were my angel and I should have never taken what we had for granted. I remember last Christmas when we spent all day in bed watching old movies and making out under the covers. I told you that you were the most beautiful girl that I’d ever laid eyes on and you kissed me and said that I was your heaven sent sweetheart.”
Brian was determined to win Isabelle back and he wanted her to know just how genuine he was. He was sincere in his feelings and his facial expression showed it. There was pain in his voice and Isabelle had never seen him so out of it before.
“I just don’t know how I will make it without you and I don’t want to. I have had time to think about us and I’m sure that you’re the one for me. I know you have your doubts and you have every right to them, but please don’t throw us away, Isabelle.”
“You threw us away with that note and your time is up,” she said in a nonchalant manner.
Isabelle turned in the direction of her dorm and proudly walked away from Brian.
CHAPTER 8
“Look if you didn’t feel what I felt then you could have at least texted me a ‘this isn’t going to work out’ text,” Isabelle screeched.
Noah had shown up at her door after not talking to her for nearly two weeks and Isabelle had taken it hard. After that fiasco with Brian she was so confused. She loved Brian, but she couldn’t just forget about Noah and how he made her feel. Brian never made Isabelle feel like that so she knew it was something special about Noah. She wanted to believe that what she felt was real, but it was like Noah didn’t even exist anymore. No calls, no texts, no communication.
At first she was saddened deeply and in many ways depressed, but now she was just mad. She was mad that she let herself get caught
up in a guy that she’d just met and fooled herself into having feelings for him.
“Isabelle, you just don’t understand. Can I please come in?” Noah looked more handsome than the first time she laid eyes on him. His brunette hair stood frazzled on his head and the muscles in his arms tugged at his sweaty t-shirt. In many ways he looked better because she’d been deprived of him for what seemed like an eternity.
“No,” she replied solemnly. She wanted him to come in more than she wanted her next breath, however appearing weak was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Why are you so unsure of yourself?” he asked as he stuck his foot in the doorway.
Isabelle stared at him for several moments riddled with confusion. She wanted to see herself through his eyes, but she couldn’t. It was obvious to her why she was unsure of herself, however he didn’t see it. To him Isabelle represented perfection and when he gazed into her eyes the only thing filthy or disgusting was his thoughts of what he wanted to do to her.
Isabelle buried her face into her hands and sighed deeply before opening her door and signaling him to come in.
Noah walked through the threshold slowly, while admiring the paintings on her wall.
“Those are breathtaking. Did you paint them?” he passionately asked while walking over to the one that was of a small child playing in paint.
“No, my mom did, and I’m not unsure of myself for the record,” she said with certainty.
“Of course you’re not. Of course you believe in yourself and you notice the beauty that you possess, right?” he laughed.
“Don’t act like you know me when you don’t and why are you here so late and how do you know where I stay?” Isabelle’s voice began to get louder with each word.
“Calm down, Isabelle. Why can’t you believe that I’m meant to be right here right now with the right girl?” he smiled.
“You sound like the real charmer, but we both know that’s not true,” Isabelle folded her arms in disgust.
“I never claimed to be a charmer. I only showed you interest, but my heart showed you love,” he gushed. Noah walked closer to where Isabelle stood, but she slid her slender body away from his.
“If that was true then you wouldn’t be showing up at my room at 2:00am. You wouldn’t have avoided me for two weeks. Most of all you wouldn’t have led me on.”
Isabelle clinched her mouth and fought to hold back the tears. She didn’t want to appear weak, but being in his presence only made her more vulnerable. She leaned up against the wall between her headboard and the only window in the room. There was an elephant in the room larger than the room itself and it made Isabelle’s spirit weaken.
Noah walked closer to Isabelle once again, hoping and praying she’d receive him, but she didn’t. She was tired of getting her hopes up to only be let down and she wasn’t going to allow Noah to continue the trend.
She slid down the wall until her body reached the floor and buried her head into her knees. Frustration took over her body as hope fluttered out of it. She was a wreck and she knew it.
“Don’t do this, Isabelle. Don’t act like the chemistry between us wasn’t scary. I’ve never experienced that with any woman and I never knew I could. The thought of falling in love with a woman that I just met scared the hell out of me. It made me reevaluate anything I’ve ever thought to be true concerning relationships.”
Noah gasped for air with each word that he spoke. He didn’t know that love could bloom between two people so fast. He’d heard of love at first sight and the idea of a soul mate, but he’d lost hope in finding a soul mate long ago. To him life was simple, you meet a decent girl, you get to know her, and if she is good to you, then you marry her.
Noah loved the idea of a romance that drove you silly and made you smile off into space at random times, but he never thought it was real. Isabelle was the closest thing to heaven on Earth that he could imagine and he wondered why God chose him to find her.
He didn’t quite know what it was about her or why the attraction was so strong, but when he thought of her or felt her touch he experienced something that he never had before.
“Love?” Isabelle asked curiously, but with a slight smile.
“Yes, love.” He turned to look in her eyes. His gaze drilled a hole into her pupils and also into her heart. She couldn’t resist him and she couldn’t say that she wanted to.
Isabelle wanted to remain strong, however that was impossible around Noah. His eyes were her kryptonite and no matter how she felt before, it was erased now.
“Kiss me like you never want to lose me,” she whispered.
“I’m going to kiss you because I will never lose you,” he assured her.
CHAPTER 9
Noah and Isabelle had been spending every waking minute together and Isabelle couldn’t have been happier. She loved being able to caress Noah’s body and kiss him until their lips ached.
Noah didn’t like spending time on campus so most of the time they would go out to dinner in Durham, which was about 15 minutes from Raleigh. He wanted to get away from the college atmosphere and have ‘adult fun’, as he called it. Isabelle didn’t mind though because she felt special being able to leave campus every day and spend time with her man. They’d go on special dinners or just spend time at his place making love until it was time for her to head to class.
He lived in a small apartment in north Raleigh, but it was decked out in elegant furniture and had a very sexy atmosphere. Isabelle enjoyed spending her days there when she wasn’t in class. Sometimes Noah would leave for a few hours to close business deals, but Isabelle didn’t mind because it made her feel like his wife. She’d lay around with barely anything on and wait for him to return so that they could finish where they left off and that was usually in the bedroom.
“You know how I feel about you, but I’d love to hear more about you, baby,” Isabelle asked Noah after another round of their endless lovemaking.
“Well, you pretty much know everything, babe, but as you know I’m from Maryland and I received my bachelors from University of Maryland College Park. I moved to Raleigh about 10 years ago after undergrad for a job and I’ve been here ever since.”
“Yeah, I know all of that, but tell me more about your childhood and growing up in Maryland. What were your parents like?”
Isabelle lived for their pillow talk. There was nothing more enjoyable than lounging in bed for hours and talking to Noah about everything under the sun.
“I had an alright childhood. My parents were married and they both loved me dearly, but they didn’t really love each other. They didn’t have the connection that we have. They only married because I was born so they just tolerated each other. That’s why I was so scared to be with you because I didn’t know this type of love existed. My parents worked hard and they made sure food was always on the table and that we had a roof over our heads and I’m grateful, but there was no romance between them.
“For so long I thought that’s how love worked, until I met you. Even though they weren’t madly in love, they worked together. They understood each other and they agreed on how my brother and I should be raised so our family lasted. They did what they had to do to make our family stay together and I still appreciate that. I never felt like I had a need for anything as a kid. Of course we weren’t wealthy so I definitely wanted for many things, but I never needed anything.
“I remember my dad would take my brother and I down to the old creek by our house to go fishing on Saturday mornings when we were kids. I would try my hardest to catch a fish so that my mom could cook it up for dinner. I only caught a fish one time and that was one of the proudest days of my childhood. My dad would always catch several fish, so I guess I just wanted to be like him.”
Noah lay on his back with his right hand rested on his chest as he told Isabelle tales from his childhood. Isabelle listened intently at each word that flowed from his mouth. Everything about Noah intrigued Isabelle and when he spoke nothing else ever mattered.
“I don’t think so. That’s your only sibling and you should be close. I have a younger brother, but I’m not sure where he is. My mother gave him up for adoption when I was 3 years old. I didn’t find out about it until I was like 15. I was looking through some old things in my grandmother’s room and I found a copy of his birth certificate. At first she didn’t want to tell me about it, but she decided that I deserved to know. I tried looking for him for a few years after that, but I couldn’t find him so I gave up. I guess I’m not better than you since I gave up on my brother too,” she sighed.
Isabelle hadn’t even thought about her brother for years. She’d forgotten about his existence as well when she stopped looking for him. The more she and Noah got to know each other, the more they connected on multiple levels. She never even knew he had an estranged brother and he didn’t know she had a long lost brother.
“You’re right, though, He’s my brother. We shouldn’t be holding a grudge against each other like this. Isabelle, you really bring the best out of me. That’s one of the many reasons why I absolutely, positively love you.”
Deceived (The Captured Hearts Trilogy #1) Page 3