by Judith Keim
“But ...”
“My parents have this crazy idea that it would be disrespectful on both our parts to be together.”
Lettie heard the bitterness in Rafe’s voice and realized he’d already had a similar conversation with his parents. It might be different if his family weren’t so old-fashioned, so close.
Cami fussed and toddled toward them.
Lettie rose from the couch and went to pick her up.
Sitting back down with Cami in her arms, she murmured to Cami. “This is Rafe. Remember him?”
“’Afe,” said Cami, smiling shyly at him.
He smiled and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Cami.” He gazed at Lettie. “With that hair and those eyes, she’s going to break a man’s heart one day.”
“I hope not,” said Lettie. She kissed Cami’s cheek and squeezed her tight. “I can’t believe how much I love this little girl. When Autumn was a baby, I was so busy with the inn I didn’t take time off for her. Autumn recently accused me of neglecting her, and she was right.”
“You’re such a good grandmother I can’t believe you weren’t a good mother too. Everyone sees the two of you together all the time.”
Her heart warmed. His praise meant so much to her.
“It’s time for Cami’s morning nap. Want to stay for a late breakfast? I’m fixing some eggs benedict, a tradition for me.”
“Sure,” he said eagerly.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll put Cami down for her nap, change my clothes, and be right back.”
“Okay. I’ll be here,” he said giving her a bright smile.
Lettie quickly got Cami settled in her crib and hurried into her bedroom to change. The day seemed so much better, so much brighter sharing it with Rafe. She dressed in gray slacks and a soft-pink cashmere sweater that went nicely with her hair. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she spritzed perfume behind her ears, slid the diamond earrings she’d bought herself into her ear lobes, and took the time to add eye shadow and mascara.
She returned to her living room to find Rafe standing in front of one of the paintings. He turned to her and let out a low whistle. “Wow! You look good.”
Feeling suddenly shy, her cheeks grew warm. “Thanks. I’m not always in jeans and heavy boots, walking the land.”
He grinned and then indicated the painting. “I didn’t know you collected art.”
“That’s one of my favorites. I started picking up a few things at various arts and crafts fairs and then really got into it when I took a class from one of the art galleries in Portland. I’m no expert. I simply know what I like. Sometimes the artwork is expensive, but most of the time it’s not, depending on the artist.”
“You have a beautiful home, and with your flair, it’s spectacular.” He studied her. “Would you ever consider helping me with my house? With Maria so sick, she was unable to add any finishing touches to it.”
They continued to stare at one another, sending silent messages. “Sure. I’d like to do that for you. With you.”
Eyes shiny with emotion, Rafe leaned forward.
Lettie knew he wanted to kiss her, and though she told herself to be careful, she eagerly met his lips. And then, when he drew her closer, she wrapped her arms around him, unable to control the desire that pulsed through her.
His kiss deepened, telling her in his own way how much he’d missed her.
When they finally pulled apart, they stood facing one another, breathing deeply.
“Oh, Rafe,” she managed to say. “What are we going to do about us?”
His gaze was steady. “We’re going to enjoy being with one another. In every way.”
Lettie’s breath came out in a sigh of relief. She wanted him. It was that simple. That wonderful.
He held out his hand, and she took it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Lying beside Rafe, Lettie traced his broad chest with her finger, letting her touch trail over the planes and curves of his body. For a man close to fifty, he was in terrific shape. He’d just proved it to her.
He rolled over to face her. “I’ve waited a long time for this—being with you, making love to you. You’re every bit as wonderful as I’d remembered. And even more beautiful.”
His lips met hers.
Lettie knew her body was aging. There were the stretch marks she could never get to disappear, the roundness to her stomach, the way her breasts had softened. But if Rafe didn’t mind, why should she?
For the first time in a long time, she felt cherished for being exactly who she was. She knew tomorrow might be different, but she intended to enjoy this day. Tomorrow, after giving staff members time off until the New Year’s Eve rush, she’d be busy at the inn. And Rafe would have to face his family. While she was not flaunting their relationship, she wouldn’t hide it either.
At the sound of Cami’s voice through the baby monitor, Lettie got out of bed. “Guess I’d better go get her. Breakfast is still an option. Still hungry?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, winking at her.
She placed her hands on her hips and laughed. “You know what I mean.”
He grinned. “Guess I’ll have some of those eggs you were talking about.” He got out of bed and headed into the bathroom.
Lettie grabbed a robe and went to get Cami. Lifting Cami from the crib, Lettie nuzzled the folds of the baby’s warm neck, and hugged her close. It had become a ritual between them.
After changing her, Lettie carried Cami into the kitchen and placed her in her highchair.
Content for the moment, Cami carefully picked up Cheerios from the tray in front of her and popped them, one by one, into her mouth.
Rafe entered the room, his hair still damp from the shower. “Ah, the princess has arisen.”
“Can you watch her for a minute while I get dressed?” Lettie asked.
“Sure. Cami and I can get to know each other better. Right Cami?”
Cami smiled at them. “’Afe.”
Rafe grinned. “She sure is smart.”
Lettie couldn’t hide her pride. “She really is. Have fun, you two. I’ll be right back.”
After hurrying to freshen and change, Lettie returned to the kitchen to find Rafe playing a clapping game with Cami. The sight of the two of them together brought tears to her eyes. She wondered if this was the right time to tell him about his connection to the baby.
“I’m hungry,” Rafe growled playfully.
Chuckling, Lettie let that thought go and set to work putting together breakfast.
###
Over the next few days and weeks, Lettie and Rafe settled into a comfortable routine. After seeing that things were situated at the inn with dinner in full swing for guests, Lettie would call Rafe and then meet him at her house.
Once she realized what a good cook Rafe was, she gave him free rein in the kitchen. Sitting with a glass of wine, watching him create a meal became a treasured time for her. Cami was usually content to play in the eating area, or if she was fussy, Lettie often used this time to read to her. Cami was already pointing to letters and animals when prompted, encouraging them both to keep going.
One evening as Lettie was reading to Cami, Rafe said, “This is such a peaceful scene. I wonder if this is what it might have been like if Maria and I had ever had kids. We tried, you know.”
“I’m sorry. After seeing how you are with Cami, I’m sure it must have been a disappointment to you.” Lettie felt bad that he’d never had the chance to know Autumn as his child.
“Yes, but then who knows if our children would have turned out to be as easy as Cami. Maria was a very discontented person.” He stared into the distance.
“I can’t believe it was your fault she was unhappy. As I remember, she had dreams of acting or modeling in California. That doesn’t work out for most.”
“Guess you’re right. Enough talk. Get ready for a delicious meal. Chef Rafael thinks you’re going to be happy with this.”
“It smells delicious. What
are you cooking?”
Grinning, he rubbed his hands together. “A roasted chicken with root vegetables cooked in a blend of lemon juice, olive oil, and garlic.” He winked at her. “There are some secret herbs involved, too.”
Lettie set Cami down on the floor with her book and came over to Rafe. “I’m happy you’re here.” Neither one of them had used the L-word, but Lettie knew she couldn’t hold back any longer. “I love you. I did back then too.”
He wrapped his arms around her and brought her close. “Yeah, me too. It’s all happening so fast, but like Paloma says, it’s meant to be.”
Lettie cocked an eyebrow playfully at him. “So, you’re talking behind my back, are you?”
“More like Paloma catching hold of me and telling me how happy you are. Guess that’s what best friends do for one another.”
Lettie felt a smile spread across her face. It felt good to have Paloma’s blessing.
After a delicious meal accompanied by a lovely pinot noir from a neighboring vineyard, Lettie left Rafe in the kitchen and hurried to bathe Cami and get her ready for bed.
Later, clean baby in arms, Lettie entered the living room to find Rafe sitting in front of the fireplace, soft jazz playing in the background.
“Thought you might want to say goodnight to her,” said Lettie, placing Cami in his arms.
He grinned and bounced Cami in his lap. “Can you say ‘night, night?’”
“Night.” She pointed to him. “’Afe.”
Lettie exchanged looks of surprise with Rafe and burst out laughing.
“She’s going to be a talker, like one of my nieces,” said Rafe. He ruffled Cami’s hair. “Good night.”
Her mind and heart swirling with emotions, Lettie took Cami from his arms and carried her into the bedroom to put her down for the night.
Lettie returned to the living room intent on telling Rafe about his true relationship with Autumn and Cami. But Fate had other ideas.
Rafe was sound asleep on the couch.
###
The rest of January and all of February were quickly consumed by working in the field, pruning the vines. Lettie kept to the annual schedule of having the shoots or canes of the grapevine completely cut off. She knew the numbers, and the weight of the cane was a good gauge of the work needed for pruning and canopy management in the coming months.
The bud break at the end of March was as exciting as usual. Lettie never got tired of seeing the vines emerge from a quiet winter. This year she identified with the feeling more than usual, because after spending time with Rafe, she felt as if she was emerging from a long, deep sleep. He made her feel so alive, so loved.
Others did not accept their happiness. Maria’s family was furious that Rafe wasn’t showing the proper amount of respect for her by waiting at least a year before dating another woman. And though his parents interacted with her, she sensed their disapproval.
Lettie, who’d always worked hard to be accepted, to be successful, tried to overcome her hurt. What she felt for Rafe was so deep she couldn’t and wouldn’t deny it. And Rafe made it easy for her to keep her resolve. His delight in their time together was obvious, whether it was a romantic dinner at home or simply being with Cami.
Many times, Lettie started to tell Rafe about Cami being his granddaughter, and something always came up to stop her. But Lettie knew she couldn’t wait any longer. Autumn was coming home for Cami’s second birthday in June.
On a warm evening in late May with the vines in bloom, Lettie arranged for Rafe and her to have a pleasant meal on the back deck of her house. One of her favorite spots, the deck overlooked the hills that rolled and dipped into the landscape that always seemed to her to be part of a painting.
As Lettie left the inn, her heart pounded with dread. She didn’t know how Rafe would react to the news that he’d fathered Autumn, and she’d kept it from him. In just a short time, their relationship had grown and deepened into something she’d never experienced, not even with Kenton. But then, Kenton and she hadn’t had much time together.
Before Rafe’s arrival, Lettie hurried home to make sure all was well with Cami. Paloma’s niece was acting as nanny for Cami and was doing a great job with her. Still, Lettie liked to know each little tidbit of how their day had gone. And then, left alone with Cami, Lettie would, for some precious moments, have the little girl all to herself.
###
Lettie was outside on the front lawn, rolling a big rubber ball to Cami, when Rafe arrived in his silver truck. Cami’s eyes lit at the sight of him. “’Afe!” she cried, hurrying to him on toddler legs. Watching Rafe swing the little girl up into his arms, some of Lettie’s nervousness ebbed away. Rafe and Cami had formed a sweet relationship.
With Cami still in his arms, Rafe strode over to Lettie. “Hi there, beautiful!”
He kissed her, and then Cami said, “Me!”
Laughing, Lettie kissed Cami and took her from Rafe.
“I’ve got a nice meal planned. Grilled steaks, tossed salad and some of your favorite garlic rolls from the inn. I thought we could fix it together after Cami goes to bed. In the meantime, let’s enjoy a glass of wine on the deck. I’ve got a play area set up there for Cami.”
“Sounds good. It’s a great night to cook out. We’re supposed to have a spectacular sunset. Seems impossible that not long ago most of the valley was suffering from the floods that hurt so many people.”
“I know. Makes me appreciate my land up in the hills even more,” said Lettie.
She set Cami down in the play area on the deck and went to the kitchen. When she returned with an open bottle of wine and two red-wine glasses, Rafe was standing at the deck’s railing, gazing out over the valley.
From behind, she admired his tall, slim body, wide shoulders, and cute butt. Having had a non-existent sex life over the years, she now found herself thinking about it a lot. She and Rafe were no youngsters, but sex was very much a part of their relationship, and she loved it.
He turned around and smiled at her.
She set down the glasses and the bottle of wine on the table and went into the arms he offered her. Snuggled up against his chest, she hoped she’d always be able to be like this with him.
“Isn’t Cami ready for bed?” he teased. Amusement filled his words.
She stepped back. “Not yet. But after she’s settled for the night, you and I need to talk.”
“Oh? Something serious?” His brow lined with worry.
“It’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for some time.” She squeezed his hand. “I love you, you know? I hope you’ll hear me out. In the meantime, why don’t you pour the wine while I get the cheese and crackers.”
“Okay, but you know I don’t like secrets, right?”
Her heart bumped in her chest. “I know.” Sick with apprehension, she left to go into the kitchen.
###
After Lettie got Cami settled for the night, she returned to the deck. The sun was nearing the horizon, sending shards of pinks, reds, and oranges into the sky. She gasped at the beauty of it. Someone had once told her it was God’s way of painting. She could almost believe it. Colors like this were hard to reproduce with ordinary paints.
“I poured us another glass of wine,” said Rafe, giving her a crooked, impish smile that she’d grown to love.
“That’s good. I’m going to need it.”
Rafe drew his eyebrows together. “Is this about the talk you wanted to have?”
Feeling the strength leave her legs, Lettie took a seat in one of the chairs. She took a sip of the wine and set down the glass with determination.
Sitting in a chair opposite her, Rafe faced her with a look of concern. She took a moment to study the features of the man she loved, searching in her mind to see if any of them could be found in Cami. Aside from the little cleft in Cami’s chin, there were none. It was different with Autumn. Besides the chin, her dark eyes and the shape of her nose were Rafe’s. And she tanned easily for someone with red tones in her
dark hair.
“Go ahead, tell me,” Rafe urged.
Lettie emitted a long breath. “We’ve often talked about the time when we first met. I’ve told you how I felt about you then and how much I loved Kenton.”
“Yes.”
“A few years ago, Autumn had a skiing accident,” Lettie continued, “When I was with her in the hospital in Vail, I was shocked to learn she had O positive blood.”
“It’s pretty common,” said Rafe, “but go on.”
“Kenton’s blood type was AB positive and mine is A positive, which means Kenton isn’t her father ...”
She rose and knelt by Rafe’s chair. Taking hold of his hands, she said, “Autumn is your child, and Cami is your granddaughter.”
Shock registered on his face. And then a look of wonder coated Rafe’s handsome, tan features. “What! How? I mean, when?” He let out a laugh that held a note of hysteria. “I know how, of course.” His eyes filled with tears. “You’re talking about us making a baby all those years ago?”
She nodded, feeling miserable about not telling him earlier. “Yes. Our love produced her.”
“My God! Do you mean it?” His look of shock morphed into anger. “We’ve been together almost six months, and you never said a word about it. You should have told me.”
“I know,” Lettie said quietly. “I wanted to tell you about Autumn all along. I’ve been holding back, thinking I should tell Autumn first. But I realize that’s not being fair to you. I decided to go ahead and tell you now before Autumn comes home. I can’t keep it from her any longer, and I want you to be prepared.”
“What is she going to think?” Rafe rubbed the back of his neck.
Lettie lowered her head into her hands and breathed deeply. When she looked up, she said, “It’s going to be a shock to her and everyone else. What is your family going to think?”
He stood, took hold of her hand, and pulled her to her feet. Wrapping his arms around her, he said, “Once they get over the shock, I don’t think anyone in my family will be too surprised. Except for the color red in her hair, Autumn doesn’t look a whole lot like you. In fact, now that I think about it, she looks something like a cousin of mine.”