Alexis knocked on the half-open door. “Mom, can I talk to you?”
“I sure wish you would,” her mother replied. “Your silence has been deafening.”
“I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. Truly.”
Tilly placed her embroidery to one side and removed her reading glasses before turning her attention to her daughter. “Tell me, Alexis. Did we abuse you?”
Alexis could already see where this was going. “No.”
“Did we neglect you?”
“Not legally.”
Tilly stiffened. “I don’t really know what that means.”
Alexis sat down beside her on the bed. She wanted to explain herself in a way that wasn’t hurtful to her mother, but she didn’t know how.
“It means you gave me food, shelter, and all the necessities I needed.”
“That sounds like a good start,” said Tilly. “It’s more than a lot of kids get. Don’t you see those commercials with the poor, starving children? They look like they’re on death’s door.”
Alexis steadied her breathing, not wanting to lose patience with her mother. This conversation was too important and too long in coming.
“So do you think you played your parental parts and I’m some ungrateful spawn who spurned you and left you in the dust?” Alexis asked.
“I wouldn’t put it quite like that.” Tilly folded her arms across her chest. “I’d like to know what we didn’t give you that you feel so strongly you should’ve had.”
“Encouragement. Acknowledgment. A real sense of family.”
Tilly bristled. “We encouraged you to do well.”
“But not too well. That’s just showing off, right? It was like you were all embarrassed to have a brainy kid in the family, but at the same time, you acted like I wasn’t capable of being anything else. So basically you put me in a box and then punished me for being there. And God forbid I had the nerve to stray from my box.”
“What’s all this talk about boxes?” her mother asked with a furrowed brow.
“I feel sorry for Owen already,” Alexis said. “He’s only four and you’re doing the same thing to him. Imagine what he’ll feel when he’s fourteen.”
“Or thirty-five?” Tilly asked.
“You made me feel like I didn’t belong, not here and certainly not as part of this family,” she admitted hotly. “What can I say? You wore me down.”
“So the MacAdams are a box-wielding bunch of degenerates who reject any family members displaying signs of brain activity. Is that your opinion?”
As Alexis expected, her mother did not grasp her daughter’s point of view.
“Not exactly…”
“Well, you’re a big shot corporate lawyer now,” Tilly shot back, her face and neck flushed with anger. “What do you care what the little folks think?”
“Stop with the big shot lawyer crap, Mom,” she spat. “I actually hate my job.”
Tilly blinked. “You do?”
“See? You’re surprised. You think a cold, heartless job suits me perfectly.” Alexis leapt off the bed in frustration. “You don’t even know me.” She trailed off, fighting back tears.
“So it’s our fault that you hate your job?” Tilly snapped. “I guess it’s our fault that you no longer seem to have a husband. Is this some kind of early mid-life crisis?”
Alexis grimaced. “I’m trying my best to explain myself to you, Mom. To share how I feel. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?”
“Sounds like blame to me.” Tilly’s thin lips clamped together like a petulant child’s. She didn’t want to hear anymore. She was thankful her husband wasn’t around for this nonsense. Greg would’ve hit the roof.
Alexis shook her head sadly. “I don’t think you want to know. You would rather assume, the way you have always assumed things about me. You never wanted to know the real me. Why bother when you already have your own version of me, right?”
Refusing to cry in front of her mother, Alexis couldn’t escape the room fast enough. Tilly stared blankly at the empty doorway, wondering where she went wrong.
When Tilly walked into the kitchen two hours later, her eyes red with emotion and fatigue, she stopped short. On the countertop rested the completed Good Housekeeping cake. It was perfect.
Chapter Ten
Betsy had just finished up with Heather, the local dental hygienist and her last customer of the day, when Alexis entered the salon. The surprise on Betsy’s face didn’t go unnoticed.
Alexis sat down in the small waiting area and admired the tasteful interior. Not trashy with loud music. More of an oasis.
Heather paid in cash, which Betsy appreciated. “Thanks, Heather. Enjoy the party. You look like a million bucks.”
“That’s why I only come here,” Heather said with a girly wink.
Once Heather departed, Betsy sauntered over to the waiting area, slightly tense.
“Hi. Nice place,” said Alexis.
“Thanks. Holiday party season is a big boost. Why are you here? Lip wax?”
“My sister runs a successful salon. I thought I should check it out in person.” Alexis surveyed the creamy walls and small water feature. Different from the country style that dominated Betsy’s home, more serene.
“So?” Betsy prompted.
“It’s not what I expected,” Alexis admitted.
“Well, I’m not an apple either, you know.” Betsy placed an indignant hand on her ample hip.
“You are more pear-shaped,” Alexis said, unable to resist tormenting her sister.
Betsy narrowed her eyes and Alexis responded with a wicked smile. It was a smile Betsy remembered all too well and one she’d missed more than she cared to admit.
“So what’s it like running your own business?” asked Alexis.
Dropping her guard, Betsy plopped down on the arm of the chair. “Hard work. And the kids are hard work. And my marriage is hard work. But it’s all worth it.”
“Good for you,” Alexis said genuinely.
“Mom seemed a little upset when I talked to her earlier. Did you two have an argument or something?”
“Or something.” Alexis sighed. “I told her a bunch of things she didn’t want to hear. There may have been raised voices involved.”
“Seems to be going around.”
“I needed to get some things off my chest, just like you did,” Alexis said, finally acknowledging their mall fight.
“Well, I felt better after I got that out of my system,” Betsy said with a smirk. “How about you?”
“It’s different with Mom. She just doesn’t see my point of view and I honestly think she’s not being stubborn. I think she genuinely has a different version of events.”
“Like she has a different version of you?”
Alexis glared at her sister. “Shit Betsy, does she come to you with everything?”
“Who else does she have?”
“Well, the infamous Good Housekeeping cake is done, in any event. So you’re off the hook.” She glanced at Betsy and noticed tears glistening in her brown eyes. “What’s wrong? Did you actually want to bake the cake?”
Betsy wiped away a stray tear. “Not particularly. Baking with Mom is a pain, to be honest. We have different styles, as you may have noticed. But I do miss baking in general. The salon takes up so much of my time and then I’m exhausted by the time I get home and make dinner, clean up, the whole nine yards.” She groaned in frustration.
“How did you end up with a salon anyway? You used to talk about opening a bakery on the island. Sugar-n-Spice needs a little competition. The island is just too big for one bakery.”
Betsy covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know! I don’t know!” She threw her arms out in exasperation. “I got sucked in. But I’m making decent money now and we need it for Joey. He’s going to need full-time care when he’s older. I’d be crazy to walk away and start over.”
“I guess Joe’s not much of a helper.”
“Look, I know he’s a
lot like Dad,” said Betsy. “I’m not an idiot. Thankfully, we have Mom and Dad and Joe’s parents around to help out. I couldn’t do it all without help and I’m not ashamed of that.”
Alexis gave her sister a light kick in the shin. “You think I would want you to be ashamed? Get over yourself. I get tired just thinking about your day because it doesn’t end when you go home.”
“Sandy Ventura was interested in partnering with me on the salon at one point, but I turned her down.”
“Why?”
Betsy shrugged. “Didn’t want to give away any control.”
Alexis chuckled. “I guess we both got that trait from Mom.” Her brow creased. “Why don’t you consider it now? Let Sandy buy a percentage of the salon so that you can start another venture. Let Sandy run the day-to-day here.”
Betsy eased out of the chair. “Sounds too complicated, not to mention expensive.”
“No, it’s really not,” Alexis objected, her lawyer brain kicking in. “Let me draft some scenarios for you and then decide whether you want to move ahead.”
“Draft your little heart out,” Betsy agreed. “I’ll take a look.”
“Would you do me a favor in return?” Alexis asked sheepishly.
“Bartering, are we?” She crossed her arms. “What is it?”
“Would you do my hair in one of those pretty updos?” She pointed to a poster of a hair model on the wall.
“Now?”
“I’m going to a party and I’d like to look less corporate, more Christmas.”
“Sounds like a good party. Sure, I’d do it even if we weren’t bartering.” She walked over to one of the chairs and patted the seat. “Hop in.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind? I know you were ready to leave.”
“If my little sister is making public appearances on the island, I want to at least hear that she looked spectacular.”
Alexis slid into the seat and Betsy began to brush her hair. “Joe and I are actually going out on Thursday night for the union Christmas party. Mom and Dad were going to watch the kids, but Owen asked whether you would do the honors.”
Alexis was surprised but pleased. “Really?”
“If you’re around. I don’t know what your plans are.”
“No plans. I would love to.”
Betsy pulled and twisted Alexis’s hair, sticking clips in as she moved from one section to another. “I call him Alex sometimes, you know.”
“Who?”
“Owen. He reminds me a lot of you when you were little.”
“No wonder I’ve taken such a shine to him,” Alexis said, glad that her sister was aware of their similarities. She hoped Betsy would do better than her own parents.
“Maybe you can talk him out of this obsession with death. The pediatrician says it’s normal, but I still think he’s a bit young for it.”
Alexis stiffened. “I don’t think I’d be the right person for that.”
In the mirror, Betsy looked at her quizzically but didn’t pursue it. “Well, he’s a bright little button, no doubt about it.”
An idea occurred to Alexis. “I may invite a friend to hang out with me, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, my house is always chaos. What’s another body?” She arched an eyebrow. “And do you really need to say a friend? I mean, it’s Tyler, right?”
Alexis blushed.
“So what’s the deal with you two? People have spotted you all over the island together. You’re a hot topic.”
“Slow news week?” One thing Alexis didn’t miss about her hometown was the rumor mill. Somebody always in your business. She figured that was a big reason she kept private matters to herself; she hated the scrutiny.
“Nobody said anything bad,” Betsy clarified. “They mostly seem thrilled to see Tyler happy with someone. He’s such a catch.”
Alexis shook her head. “He’s not with me. We’re just friends.”
“Sure thing,” said Betsy in a way that suggested otherwise. “It’s nice karma for him, though. Watching him pine over you in school was awful.” She clucked her tongue in dismay. “Let’s just say I’m glad Joe and I were very open with our feelings for each other.”
“Yep, I remember you being very open in the front seat of his golf cart.”
“We were hot for each other,” she said simply. “Nothing wrong with that.”
For the first time in thirty-five years, Alexis envied the beautiful simplicity of her sister’s life. She had a loving husband, three children, her own business and she managed it all. Alexis wondered why she’d overlooked her sister’s good qualities for so long.
“Ta da,” Betsy said, giving her sister’s head a quick spray to keep the stray hairs in place. “What do you think?”
Alexis examined the result in the oversized mirror. Her long, brown hair was swept up in a lush, chocolate swirl that made Alexis feel both sexy and elegant. “It’s perfect.”
“Tyler will die,” Betsy said, without noticing the wince that followed.
“Thank you,” Alexis said softly. “I’ll see you on Thursday, if not before.”
Chilled by the winter breeze, Tilly wandered down the hall into Alexis’s bedroom to retrieve a blanket from the bottom drawer of the dresser. She knocked out of habit, even though she knew that Alexis wasn’t there. When she opened the drawer and moved the blanket, unfamiliar items caught her eye. A velvet box and a flash of red. Tilly eyed the box more closely. Her maternal instinct kicked in and she opened it. A beautiful wedding band sparkled inside. Had she left him? Tilly wondered. Maybe he cheated. She watched a few reality programs and she knew how slimy those husbands of successful wives could be. All those hours Alexis worked at the firm, any man would feel like a second-class citizen.
Her attention moved to the red item underneath. Curious, she unfolded it on the floor and gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth. An infant Santa suit. Tilly smoothed out the wrinkles of the suit.
“Oh, Alexis,” she said sadly.
In that moment, all of Tilly’s anger and resentment toward her younger daughter dissipated. She’d been so busy justifying her own hostile feelings that she hadn’t been willing to consider her daughter’s, not even after her earlier tirade. Tilly was ashamed of her behavior. She should’ve known how difficult it was for Alexis to return home after all these years, not to mention how desperate she must have felt. No one could argue they had a close relationship so for Alexis to take time from her important job to travel across an ocean…Tilly shook her head woefully and carefully placed the items back where she found them. She remained on the floor of the bedroom, clutching the blanket and feeling like the worst kind of failure. Her daughter had seen fit to exclude her own mother from her life, to experience major life events without her family. Maybe it was high time that Tilly took a good, hard look in the mirror. She’d never considered herself a bad mother before, but she was beginning to see herself from Alexis’s point of view and, she had to admit, it wasn’t a pretty picture.
Chapter Eleven
Alexis dressed for the party, hoping to make a good impression but with seemingly little effort. She chose a dark green dress with a flattering draped cowl neckline that she’d bought from Liberty, her favorite store in London. It fell to just above the knee, short enough to show off her legs, yet long enough to maintain a modest appearance. The bodice hugged her curves. Sexy and graceful. She wore diamond stud earrings and painted her lips a deep red. It was actually pleasant to dress up for a change, to spend time on her appearance. The last time she dressed up was for a work function and, quite frankly, she didn’t make as much of an effort. Alexis guessed that Tyler would be more appreciative of her labors than a room full of corporate hacks.
She fervently hoped the party would lift her spirits. The argument with her mother was still rattling around in her brain, not to mention the added stress of seeing people from high school. She anticipated the questions that would likely arise. Questions like ‘what in the hell have you been doing for the
past seventeen years?’ ‘Why have you never visited before now?’ ‘Doesn’t your family miss you?’ Caught up in her own emotional turmoil, she hadn’t considered how normal conversation might put her on the spot.
On her way out, she debated whether to bypass the kitchen. She hadn’t seen or spoken to her mother since their blowout and she wasn’t sure if her mother was still upset. In the end, she decided to put on her big girl pants and say goodbye. As she stepped into the kitchen, her mother gave her an appraising look from behind the refrigerator door.
“That’s a special dress,” Tilly said, unable to keep the admiration out of her voice.
“It’s for a festive occasion.”
“I should hope so.” Tilly closed the fridge door. “Would you like a snack before you go?”
“I’m sure they’ll have food.”
“Yes, but you’ll probably be too busy talking to eat,” Tilly commented.
“I’ll eat, I promise.”
“You did a wonderful job on the cake,” her mother said. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to help you.”
“Thanks, but I didn’t need help.” Alexis reddened, wishing she could snatch back that last remark. She knew her mother hadn’t mentioned help as a way of undermining her. It would be a long road before they could reach an accord, she realized.
“Did Betsy do your hair?” Tilly asked.
“She did. It’s nice, don’t you think?”
“Beautiful. I have two talented and beautiful daughters.” She pretended to examine her nails. “I’m sorry you feel that we let you down. That wasn’t our intention.”
“I didn’t come here to live in the past,” Alexis said truthfully. “I’m willing to work on our relationship if you are.”
“You’re my daughter. Of course, I am.”
Softening, Alexis gave her mother an impromptu kiss on the cheek which neither expected. “Don’t wait up.”
“Have a nice time, dear.”
Long Way Home Page 10