It's Easy to Cry

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It's Easy to Cry Page 1

by Subhas Anandan




  SUBHAS

  ANANDAN

  IT’S EASY TO CRY

  © 2015 Subhas Anandan and Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited

  Published by Marshall Cavendish Editions

  An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International

  1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196

  Interview excerpts and tributes from the October 2014 edition of Al-Mizan, Vol. 1 No. 3 are reproduced with the kind permission of the Association of Muslim Lawyers. Special thanks to Mohd Mahdi Marican, 22, who conducted the interview with Subhas Anandan in the presence of Ms Fatima Musa, the co-editor of Al-Mizan.

  Reprinted 2016

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Request for permission should be addressed to the Publisher, Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited, 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196. Tel: (65) 6213 9300, Fax: (65) 6285 4871. E-mail: [email protected]. Website: www.marshallcavendish.com/genref

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  National Library Board Singapore Cataloguing in Publication Data

  Anandan, Subhas, 1947-2015, author.

  Subhas Anandan : it’s easy to cry. – Singapore : Marshall Cavendish Editions, [2015] pages cm

  eISBN: 978 981 4721 43 1

  Anandan, Subhas, 1947-2015. 2. Lawyers – Singapore – Biography. 3. Trials – Singapore. I. Title.

  KPP11.A53

  340.092 — dc23 OCN918510029

  Printed in Singapore by Markono Print Media Pte Ltd

  To all my siblings to whom I owe so much.

  I know that this dedication is nothing compared to how you stood by me.

  To my elder sister, Subhashini, who has been there for me in more ways than one that I have lost count.

  To my younger brother, Sudheesh, who is always there for me.

  Silently strong, he gives me the confidence and the assurance to attempt the things I otherwise would not have tried.

  To my younger sister, Sugadha, who assures me of spiritual support.

  Her prayers give me confidence to do the work I do.

  To my beloved youngest sibling, my late brother, Surash, who was my best friend. He encouraged me to do whatever I desired and I really miss him very much.

  CONTENTS

  Acknowledgements

  Foreword

  Preface

  01 Getting Tired

  02 The Passing of Dear Friends

  03 A Caring Teacher

  04 A Mother’s Unconditional Love

  05 A Sudden Loss

  06 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

  07 Pushed to the Brink

  08 At Death’s Door

  09 Your Smile in Every Cloud

  10 You Are My Sunshine

  11 Second Chance

  12 Rebels of the 1970s

  13 Underage Sex

  14 Special, in Every Sense of the Word

  15 Obsessive Love

  16 My Dear Friend, Francis

  17 How I Started Practice

  18 MPD Nair, JBJ and the NCMP Scheme

  19 Feeling Useful

  20 Ah Soo, a Dear Old Friend

  21 Sad Occasions and Happy Moments

  22 A Question of Face

  23 Clash with the Law Society

  24 Chief Justices

  25 Attorney-Generals

  26 At the Casino

  27 1963: Loyola College

  28 My Somalian Experience

  29 A Son’s Promise

  30 My Beloved Mother

  31 Slipper Man’s China Bride

  32 Every Criminal Deserves a Defence

  33 The Yellow Ribbon of Hope

  34 Last Words

  Epilogue: A Tribute to Subhas Anandan

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  It has been six years since I wrote my first book The Best I Could. A lot has happened in those six long years, both good and bad. I have had the pleasure of working with friends and colleagues in KhattarWong LLP and then of helping set up RHT Law Taylor Wessing LLP.

  My son, Sujesh, has decided to read law, a switch he made from banking and finance. Whether he chooses to practise criminal law is entirely up to him as I have always emphasised to him that he should pursue his own dreams.

  My wife, Vimi, has been my pillar of strength through all the crises I have faced. She has always stood firmly by me, unwaveringly, constantly encouraging me and providing me with her love, kindness and understanding. She has been my soulmate ever since I first met her.

  My legal practice has been my passion but I must say that the law was not my original choice of career path. I had thought of many other careers before I embarked on law. I was unsure as to whether I would practise law upon graduation but circumstances led me to commence practice after I was called to the Bar on 20 January 1971.

  My health took a turn for the worse days after I launched The Best I Could in December 2008 but God was kind and I was back at work by early 2009, still chasing my passion in practice, especially pro bono work which I have been involved with since I started practice in 1971. This time, in addition to pro bono work, I visited schools and gave talks to encourage students and provided monetary support to students in need as much as I could. I have always been an advocate of a second chance and I believe that every one deserves it, if the need arises.

  My health deteriorated further as evident in the increase in the number of pills I was taking a day but that did not deter my spirit to live life to the fullest. Knowing that Vimi and Sujesh were very understanding and supportive of what I do, I delved into anything and everything where I thought I could be of help to anyone, whether it was emotionally, legally or financially.

  I have always felt that some of Singapore’s criminal laws were ready for change, especially the right to counsel by an accused person on his arrest. I am also against the mandatory death penalty. I have always believed that the discretion of the hearing judge to decide on death penalty is most important but the law unfortunately binds the hands of the judge in such cases.

  I have been honoured to sit on many steering committees in recent years. These include the committee set up by the former Attorney-General Sundaresh Menon, our present Chief Justice, to reform areas of criminal law and the committee set up by the Ministry of Law to review homicide. We have yet to settle on many of the proposed changes but I am glad that at least the process of formal discussion has started.

  My dear friend, Noor Mohamed Marican, informed me one day that the Muslim Lawyers Association would like to organise a tribute in my honour. As I have always been very passionate about providing support for ex-inmates, he wanted to arrange a bursary award in my name with the Yellow Ribbon Foundation. Personally, I felt that this honour was too great to accept and told him not to pursue it. However, Marican, being Marican, would listen only to himself and did what he felt was honourable and befitting as I was already in the twilight of my practice. On hindsight, I thank him for it. It was truly an honour.

  I have been on dialysis since the beginning of 2014 and it has been very hard to bear. It took a toll on me emotionally but in time, and with the
support of my wife, I have learnt to keep myself occupied during the agonisingly painful four-hour sessions, three times a week. This was when I decided to dictate this book, It’s Easy to Cry, which I had promised the publishers that I would do. It may seem disjointed as I would dictate as I sat in the dialysis chair and my thoughts would be different each day.

  Subhas Anandan

  December 2014

  The launch of The Best I Could at Books Kinokuniya, December 2008.

  FOREWORD

  My beloved darling husband, Subhas. What can I say about him that has not already candidly been said by him and those who knew and loved him? He was my soulmate in every sense of the word. We have very different personalities but we connected at every level, be it about food, movies, gossip, serious topics of discussion, a joke or his work and passion to help those in need. He was ever willing to share with me everything in his thoughts.

  Every day, I would pick him up from work. The moment he got into the car, I would ask, “How was your day?” That would spark a continuous monologue of his day in the 15-minute drive home. He never failed to share his day’s experiences with me. Sometimes I wonder if he just needed me to ask him how his day was, so that he could just rattle on, not expecting me to grasp any of it. But I did and there were moments when he would seek my layperson’s view on some matters.

  I have known Subhas for two-thirds of my lifetime. We shared a great life together, through good and bad times, and came out closer and stronger for it. We share a son, a great person with a lot of his father’s qualities and I can’t ask for more. I admired Subhas’ generosity towards others, his passion for helping the needy and his dedication to his work. It was totally fine for Sujesh and me to take a back seat when it came to his passion for work. He always knew we would understand and he made it a point to keep us abreast of his comings and goings.

  Despite his busy schedule, Subhas never missed dinner at home with the family. He was a great father, who was first a friend to our son. He never failed to attend to our needs in any way he could. We knew that he put us above all else deep within him and we allowed him to pursue his passion, most of the time without troubling him. He appreciated this from us.

  Subhas was also a very loving son and brother. His parents and siblings meant the world to him and he would do anything for them.

  I will always treasure the memories that have been created between us and I will live the rest of my days appreciating and fondly reminiscing the love and joy he gave me.

  With all my love,

  Vimi

  SUBHAS ANANDAN

  PREFACE

  I was wrongfully detained in remand prison from the end of January to the middle of November 1976. While in prison, I toyed with the idea of writing a book about my experiences in prison. It was even reported in the press as I had mentioned it to a journalist on my release from prison.

  David Marshall, who was my lawyer then, rang me up and told me, “Be careful, my lad. You don’t want to look for trouble. You may state issues that are protected by the Official Secrets Act. I suggest that you hold on.” I took his advice and held on for a very long time until 2008, when I decided to write my first book The Best I Could, which, to my surprise, became an instant hit. I initially thought to entitle it “It’s Easy To Cry”, but somehow when I wrote that book, I felt “The Best I Could” was more apt.

  In my first book, I wrote of gruesome murders and some of the more unusual cases that I thought would be of interest to the reader. Many people think that crime means killing, lust, sex and money but this is not always the case. Sometimes, a commission of crime shows the true nature of a man or woman, and such a commission can be a noble act to save someone. Many of the cases that are mentioned in my second book depict situations where deep and complex emotions are displayed, like a mother who lies and pleads guilty to save her son.

  So now, having the opportunity to write another book, I feel that it would be most appropriate to entitle it “It’s Easy to Cry”, because it is dedicated to cases that bring humanity and emotions to the forefront and to show that sometimes accused persons commit crimes of passion which they regret doing. This book shows to the reader that there are cases where people have pleaded guilty just to protect someone they cared for or to ensure that their loved one does not get into trouble.

  In my new book, I also share my thoughts of people who have touched me one way or other.

  Vimi felt that I should not write this book, as I was unwell, and especially when I was in the dialysis centre because I would get too emotional. When she heard the first part of my recording, she was convinced that I was indeed getting too emotional. I told her that it is an emotional book and I have to tell the story the way I want to. If it is emotional and if the stories arouse conflicting emotions in the reader, then I have succeeded.

  ONE

  GETTING TIRED

  In August 2013, I was beginning to feel unwell, but I kept working. I was in my office when my assistant, Diana Ngiam, brought one of the submissions that she had prepared.

  I looked at the submissions and said that there were missing points. She had failed to mention some of the facts that happened in court. She said, “You know, Uncle, I’ve gone through the notes very carefully.” Then I said, “Go and look at it once more.” She went back to her room and later realised that I was right. She approached my nephew, Sunil, who was also working with me, and said, “Uncle may be getting older but he is still very sharp. His memory is so good.” Sunil laughed. She came back with the amended submissions, and this time I said, “Yes, this is what I wanted.”

  Diana is a very intelligent girl, very compassionate to all, including the accused persons. Sometimes she feels too much and that is not good, but I am glad that she’s part of my team. After reading the submissions and approving it, I told her, “Diana, I’ve got a funny feeling that I will not be accompanying you and Sunil to court anymore. I somehow feel that my career is going to be over soon.” She looked at me and said, “You may be a little under the weather but you are not going to die. Don’t talk like that.” She was very upset. I said that there was no point being upset for this was what I felt. She came closer and looked at me and said, “No, Uncle, you are going to be with us for many more years.” I laughed.

  The following month, I fell gravely ill and was taken to hospital. I was diagnosed with heart failure but after a few days’ rest in hospital, I was discharged. Soon after, I resumed work but realised that I was not able to cope with a full load. I was in and out of hospital over the next couple of months, and fell ill again in the middle of December 2013.

  Doctors were at their wits’ end as to what they could do for me and several propositions were put to me, all of which I had initially rejected. One of the doctors gently explained to Vimi, and Chechy (my elder sister, Subhashini, as I address her in Malayalam) that my sole kidney was failing and there was nothing more they could do other than recommend dialysis, and even that was risky due to my failing heart. They offered palliative support if my family so needed it and indirectly suggested that there was nothing more they could do for me. On hearing this, both Vimi and Chechy decided that they were not giving up on me and with their faith in God, they believed that I would be well again. Vimi explained the circumstances to me and insisted that I should fight on. Gently, I told her, “Ask Dr Ching to see me.” Associate Professor Ching Chi Keong is my cardiac electrophysiologist, who had recommended the insertion of a Cardiac Resynchronization Therapy Device (CRTD), which I had initially rejected. As it was the least invasive, I finally decided that I should give it a shot. I should not go without putting up a fight.

  The procedure was a success but sadly, by then, my kidney had been impaired. I was required to go for dialysis three times a week. This altered my lifestyle significantly. I found it hard to cope emotionally and I would get upset with myself, depressed and frustrated with what I had to deal with — three sessions a week, being pricked twice on the arm at each session and being confine
d to an uncomfortable chair for four hours to dialyse my blood. It was during the long and weary four hours that I decided I should start dictating this book to keep myself occupied. It was very difficult to cope with the change and accept the fact that this situation would probably be my new way of life. In this depressed state of mind, I found it hard to get started writing this book. I would dwell on the past, remembering the times I could do so much and that would send me spiralling down emotionally. I would suddenly break down and cry uncontrollably, especially when I met with old friends who would reminisce about the good times we shared. It was certainly not their intention to upset me. They thought that reminiscing about the good times would cheer me up but instead I ended up feeling depressed as I knew that those days were long gone.

  This photo was taken on 24 December 2013 on the eve of Subhas’ 66th birthday. He was already listed on the ‘Dangerously Ill List’ and could receive visitors without restriction. Clockwise: Vimi, Sunita, Subhas, Chechy, Sudheesh, Syon, Sujesh, Sugadha, Sunil and Sharon (Sunil’s wife).

  Once I am in that frame of mind, it was difficult to get out of it. It was so tragic. I would pray to God to take me away.

  “Dear God, please take me away. I don’t want to live anymore if I have to go on dialysis. It is painful and depressing and I am always tired and miserable.”

  Vimi and Sujesh have been solid support for me. Sujesh is studying in Nottingham but he would make every effort to return home to be with me. He told his mother when she asked if he missed holidaying with his friends, “All these places will always be there, but my father will not.”

  My siblings, Chechy, Sudheesh, Sugadha; my sisters-in-law, Syon, Justina, Nan, Komi and Lilian; my brothers-in-law, Nala, Nara and Bhas; nephews, Sunil, Suresh and Naresh; and nieces, Sunita, Seeta and Shona, were constantly by my side, not only supporting me but being a source of comfort for my wife and son. They took turns to visit me and encouraged me. Their presence and moral support opened my eyes to why I should fight to live. I tend to lapse into depression and each time someone would talk me out of it and show me life in a positive light. It has been an emotionally and physically tormenting experience coping with my poor health. I was previously racing through life, but suddenly, that lifestyle has come to a grinding halt. It was hard to bear. The positive thoughts that got me through these low points were my wish to see my son graduate; see my niece, Sunita, get married; and attend my nephew, Naresh’s, wedding. Inevitably, there were moments of depression when I forgot these desires and allowed myself to dwell on negative thoughts.

 

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