by Lisa Lace
“I know I might have been able to do it before,” I agree. “But I’m just tired of struggling. This makes sense to me. It’s unlike me to take the easier route, but I’m going to take it, and I don’t want to feel guilty for it.”
Riley touches my hand. “I don’t want you to think I’m completely opposed to this. If you want to go ahead with this, I’ll be there for you. I’ll be there no matter what, you know that. But if he hurts you, he’ll have to face my wrath.”
“I’ll add it to our agreement,” I joke.
“Can you?” Riley says with a small smile. “You had one bad experience with that idiot, Dave, back in college, and you swore off of them for the rest of your college years. I’m afraid of what will happen once this comes to an end. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“I appreciate your concern,” I assure her. “You’re a true friend, and I’m lucky to have you. This is something I have to do, and I hope you can understand that.”
“I’ll never really understand it, but I’ll be here if you need me.” Riley sighs. “So much for double dating! You sleep with a guy and get a marriage proposal. I sleep with a guy, and I’m not even sure how invested the guy is.”
Later that night, I lay awake in bed thinking about Riley’s warnings. She’s completely valid in her concerns, of course. And I truly do appreciate her support and words at such a crucial time.
I turn to my side and touch the pillow next to me. Come next week, I’ll be sharing a bed with a man I barely know. I don’t know how much I can prepare for something like that, or if it’s possible to prepare at all. It’s not as if I can ask anyone for advice, either. Maybe there’s nothing to adjust to. Maybe we’ll just continue on as we are now, working adjacent to one another and then come home and have sex before we fall asleep. No room for feelings, just keeping a routine like we do at work.
Easy. Yes, I can do that. I fall asleep hanging onto that thought.
Maxwell
The lights in the cabin were dimmed for takeoff, and Bella is already asleep. She’s claimed a seat in the back that Laura had reserved for herself by throwing her sweater on top. The sweater is now draped over Bella, covering her from her shoulders to her toes. She looks so relaxed and content. I knew I’d made the right decision to marry Laura when I saw how happy Bella was. Even today, she cooperated, and all of our plans were executed without a hiccup—that never happens with a child.
I shift my gaze to Laura, who is sitting across from me, presumably where she’d wanted Bella to sit. She dozed off within the first ten minutes of takeoff as well but is waking up now.
She’s my wife now. My wife. I roll that thought over in my head a little to allow it to sink in. I don’t want to get attached to the idea like I did before, but I can’t help thinking about it either.
“Do you need a blanket?” I whisper to her. I don’t know why I’m whispering. It’s a private plane.
A few other passengers are traveling with us for work, but they’re not asleep. Most are reading or watching a film. Only Sam is awake and working. I barely had time to explain what we were planning on doing this past week before it actually happened. I don’t know how he’s adjusting to the shift in dynamic, and I don’t have the wherewithal to explain it when I’m still adjusting myself and helping Bella understand
Laura looks confused and then shakes her head. “No, thanks. I should get some work done.” She nods towards Sam. “I’ve taken more than my share of days off already, and I know he must be falling behind. I don’t want to be the reason for that.”
She removes her laptop from her bag and sets it on the small table between us. I’m annoyed by this response, but don’t know why.
She married me, and while Sam has never outright indicated that he likes her, he also never denied it when I asked him. He hasn’t said much to me since that day, though. He appears to be behaving the same with Laura, though—cheerful as hell, and far too familiar.
“Come sit by me,” I tell her, scooting to the side to allow her space. “You can worry about the work when we get there. Work will always be waiting for you—no need to worry about that.”
“No, I think I should take care of it now.” She bites her lower lip, and I want to lean forward and capture it between my own teeth. That would distract her. But without even looking around, I know there are too many eager eyes surrounding us, and I don’t want an audience.
“You know, you’ll be compensated either way, so you don’t need to worry about putting in crazy hours like you were before. Your priorities are Bella and me first.” I know I sound like an ass while I’m saying the words but I can’t stop myself.
I see her stiffen, and she gathers up her papers with her laptop. “I think it’s best if I go finish my work over there,” she says quietly.
I want to kick myself for throwing the agreement in her face. It was my idea, after all. I don’t know why it’s getting to me, but I know it’s partly because of the way my last marriage ended.
When we met with Walter last week to sign a few more papers, Laura peppered him with questions about the agreement and verified a few more details regarding her payout.
Walter hadn’t said anything to me at the time, but I’d felt his knowing stare. He gave me a look on my way out of his office that day, which I ignored. I already knew he was going to make his comparisons to Bella’s birth mother, and I didn’t care to hear it. What I want to explain to Walter is that Laura had genuine responses to my touch in bed; I couldn’t have imagined that.
But I doubt my own perception of this. It’s possible I only see what I want to see. I look back when I hear Sam make a crack, and Laura’s soft laughter following it. I grit my teeth and resist the urge to haul Laura back to sit by me. Sam has a goofy charm that makes women trust him and gravitate toward him, and I’ve always found it adorable. Until now, anyway. Now, I find it annoying and juvenile. But damned if it doesn’t work, I think when I hear Laura’s infectious laugh again.
It also doesn’t help when I haven’t slept with Laura since that first night. I thought marrying her would guarantee more access to her. But if anything, it’s put several more barriers up, making sex with her something that needs to be well-orchestrated.
I put headphones on to tune them out and pull out a book I’ve been meaning to finish for the past month. After reading the same sentence several times, I wonder if reading is what I need to do right now. Maybe a short movie or some classical music might do the trick.
It does do the trick after all, and I wake up several hours later. Laura is asleep across from Sam, and he’s apparently done his duty as a newly minted brother-in-law by covering her with his jacket. He’s asleep as well, his legs sprawled out in front of him and almost touching hers. I don’t like it one bit, but I don’t know how to broach the topic with either one of them.
Looking around the cabin, I notice everyone else is resting along with them, and I think that I should rest, too. I take my headphones off and set them on the table, closing my eyes and my mind to Sam and Laura.
But I grow restless and agitated. It doesn’t sit well with me at all, and after cursing to myself, I get up, move to her side, pick her up, and deposit her next to my seat. I set her down with more jostling than I intended, and now she’s stirring.
Laura’s eyes flutter open, and she looks around as she sits up.
“Where…?”
“Shh, go back to sleep,” I tell her. The jacket that was on top of her is now on the floor in the aisle. I toss it on the seat where she was sleeping moments ago. Reaching into the overhead compartment, I pull out a plush blanket and drape it over her. I settle in next to her and arrange the rest of the blanket over myself.
Laura doesn’t seem to comprehend what happened, and she sits up as if she wants to sleep, but thinks she has to stay awake.
“Lie down,” I tell her quietly. She looks at me, and I raise my arm up so she can lean into my side.
She nods sleepily and tucks herself into the curve of my ar
m. Finally. I know I’m behaving irrationally, but knowing that I am doesn’t help. I try to close my eyes and sleep, but I find myself counting down the hours until I can be alone with Laura.
Craning my neck all the way back, I see Bella still curled up in a ball on her seat. She hasn’t moved in hours, and I know why. Ever since we got married, I’ve been trying to find a moment alone with Laura. But the days leading up to the brief ceremony were spent trying to bring Bella down from the clouds about the entire affair.
“Laura’s going to stay with us?” She’d bounced around the house for the entire week at the news, and asked me for details non-stop. “When is she coming? Can she stay in my room? Where will you sleep?”
“Bella, she’ll be sleeping with me,” I’d told her repeatedly. I expected her to be disappointed at this news, but she didn’t miss a beat.
“Okay, can I sleep with you too?” Each time she asked, she’d looked so hopeful I didn’t have the heart to tell her no.
But the truth is that Daddy needs to sleep with Laura far more than she does, I think as I shift in my seat uncomfortably. I didn’t plan for my erection to grow even more with zero stimulation, and yet here we are.
I look down at Laura. Her one hand is tucked between her head and my chest. The other started off on my chest and slowly slipped down into my lap. She isn’t touching me there, but with the rate at which it’s growing, she will be soon.
The hand I have draped over her slips behind her waist. I stroke her body from the side of her breast to her hip and back. I start off slow, but I increase the pressure when her body starts to respond to my touch, pushing itself toward my roaming hand. I feel another surge in my pants, and suddenly, everything feels too tight. Her hand is now resting on my cock, and my eyes are watering from the restraint I have to exercise.
She moans and shifts her hips closer to mine. I lose it. Grabbing her by both hips, I haul her into my lap. “Max—” I cover her mouth with mine and silence her.
Her body quickly adjusts to fit against mine, and I rock her back and forth against the erection straining for release. Her heat feels like it will engulf me, and I long for it to happen. Reaching between us, I unzip my pants, raising my hips slightly to do so. Laura unbuttons a few buttons of my shirt, and her hands dive in to explore.
“No,” I rasp. “Not now. I need you to touch me here,” I pull one of her hands down, and her warm fingers immediately curl around me. I feel it throbbing in her grasp.
She loosens her hold, and her finger touches the tip tentatively. “It feels a little wet,” she whispers.
“I can’t wait anymore,” I say. “It’s getting painful.”
“How can we...I mean, how do we do this?” In the dim lighting, I see her lick her lips and look around surreptitiously at the slumbering people.
“I don’t know.” I close my eyes and try to think. I shouldn’t have started this now. It will take a lot more than maneuvering to make this happen. While Laura appears willing, she is still inexperienced, and now is not the time to guide her in riding me. Not with so many potential witnesses.
“We can’t do this here,” Laura says, climbing off my lap. I’m disappointed, but I understand that it’s not possible. I help her off, and she sits back down next to me, arranging the blanket around us.
Then I feel a silky wetness around me. I pull back the blanket to see Laura taking me in her mouth. “Laura.” I don’t know what else to say, even if I could say something else. Her hair is coming out of the confines of her ponytail and sweeping her cheek. She pulls back and releases me to pull her hair back. I hold it for her, and she resumes the sweet torture.
First, her tongue encircles the head and licks at the drops that made their escape. I squeeze my eyes shut, and my hips raise up slightly in excitement. She opens her mouth wider and bobs her head up and down. What she lacks in experience, she more than makes up for with her eagerness.
“Slower,” I beg her quietly. She goes slower and pauses to give special attention to the sac below, stroking it, scratching it lightly, and tugging on it. She can’t fit my length all the way into her mouth, but I don’t want her to. I pull her off with the little willpower I have left and shake my head. Reaching for some napkins from the side console, I finish into them. I grab a few for her once I catch my breath, and Laura uses them before excusing herself to use the lavatory. Suddenly, things look more hopeful, and I wait for her to come back so I can give as good as I got.
Laura
“I don’t want to go to sleep,” Bella complains from her room. “I want to sleep with you and Laura.”
It’s nighttime in Beijing, and we are all thrown off schedule. Bella has slept on the entire plane ride over here and is in no mood to sleep some more.
“I know, Bella, but look outside. It’s night over here. You know what we have to do at night.” I hear Maxwell’s low voice in the other room. He’s been trying to convince her for the past fifteen minutes.
“But I’m scared over here,” she says in a small voice. “Can you sleep by me?”
“No, honey. You need to sleep in your own bed, just like you do at home,” Maxwell explains.
“Maybe Laura will sleep by me,” Bella says with excitement.
“Well, no,” Maxwell says slowly. “Laura and I are married now, so she sleeps with me.”
I hear a muffled sound and a thump. Bella has probably assumed her pouting position, which is when she faceplants into a bed, a sofa, a pillow, or anything soft nearby.
“Come on, honey, you know the rules.” Maxwell sighs. I hear her trademark whimpering when she knows she’s on the losing end of a battle, and breathe a sigh of relief. I appreciate how Maxwell is always patient with her, being able to talk her out of something is not easy. He stays calm while she makes sense of the rules, never making her feel as if she is causing him any delays.
“Okay, Daddy,” she relents. “But tomorrow, can we have pancakes? Laura said she knows how to make blueberry ones, and she said she’d make them for me.”
“Oh, that sounds like a great idea once we get home,” I say cheerfully from her doorway, having come to her room to kiss her goodnight. “Since we’re not home, it’s hard to get all the ingredients and find a place to cook all that stuff.”
Bella looks disappointed, but nods. “Okay.” She looks at me and back at Maxwell. “Daddy, do you love Laura like I do?”
Maxwell looks uncomfortable, and I make an excuse about getting into pajamas before slipping out of the room. Bella is tiny, but she’s full of direct questions that leave no wiggle room. I’ll let Maxwell do his magic because I’m not sure how great I am at fielding those questions just yet.
Nearly thirty minutes later, I’m still not in my pajamas. After having slept so much on the plane, I know lying down now will be pointless. Maxwell is still in the room with Bella, which tells me she’s convinced him to stay with her until she falls asleep. I get the files I was working on earlier. There are a few things I need to ask Sam about, but since I can’t sleep, I might as well get some work done so I can focus on Bella tomorrow. With so many changes around her, I imagine she’s going to act out if she doesn’t feel more love and a sense of normalcy about her.
Settling into the office area, I spread out my work, reading for a few minutes before I get up to retrieve my laptop. Maxwell pops his head out of Bella’s room. “Can you stay with her? She’s asking for you. She’s almost asleep, so it shouldn’t take too long. Maybe if you read her one story?” He looks exhausted, bags forming under his eyes from lack of sleep.
“Of course,” I tell him. “It’s not a problem. You should get some rest. Don’t you have some early meetings?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep on the plane,” he says. “I rarely do.”
I avoid his gaze. After the surprise he gave me when I returned from the restroom, I knew he had plenty of energy to spare. It’s no wonder he’s as exhausted as he is. I had no trouble sleeping after my release, though. Which is why I’m in the predicament
that I’m in now. “I’ll stay with her,” I say, brushing past him into Bella’s room.
Closing the door behind me, I see that Bella is indeed sleepy. Her eyes are heavy, but she’s doing her best to fight off the sleep. “Hey, I heard you couldn’t sleep,” I say softly. I kneel down to stroke her hair away from her forehead.
“Yeah,” Bella says, turning to face me. She cups her hands and tucks them under her cheek. “I want to talk to you because I missed you.”
“Oh Bella, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I say. I’m always surprised at how honest and articulate she is.
“I know.” She closes her eyes briefly, and I think she’s falling asleep but she opens them again. “Can you read me one story? Daddy said you might read one if I ask nicely.”
“Of course,” I say. “Which one do you want to hear?” I pull out her backpack and dig through to find some of her favorites. “Any of these?” I show them to her. There’s a low wattage bulb that casts a shadow over everything near Bella, so I try holding the books on the other side of her bed so she can see them.
“Laura, can you lie down with me and read this one?” She selects a princess book from the pile, and I put the rest away.
“Sure.” I lie down next to her and read the book slowly. I see her eyes begin to droop before the last two pages are done. I finish it and wait, watching her eyelids for movement. She murmurs lightly and holds my arm in place before I can pull it away to leave. Okay, ten minutes and then I can sneak away. With nothing else to do, I close my eyes while I wait.
When I wake up, the room is pitch black. There’s a faint snoring next to me, and Maxwell’s arm is thrown across my body. Squinting, I see a soft glow around the corner and know I must have made it to my own bed. I extract myself from under his arm and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Feeling my way to the bathroom, I turn on the lights, and I’m shocked to see myself wearing pajamas. When did I change?