by A. Zavarelli
“Oh God,” I mutter. “What now?”
“Well, don’t forget what you just said, you’re still going to see him, even after I tell you this, and I’m not letting you back out. There was no harm done, and we just need to be a little more careful…”
“What are you talking about?” I snap. Alanna has a knack for dragging out the inevitable and I hate it when she doesn’t just come right out with it.
“Don’t get angry, and don’t panic,” she says reassuringly. “I’ve been up early checking the internet, and there are some photos…”
Oh no. This can’t be happening.
“No, it’s okay,” she says quickly. “None of them show your face, I promise. I looked through every single article. They are dark and blurry and trust me it could be anybody in those photos. There is no way she’ll ever know it’s you.”
My relief is swallowed by my guilt as I think about how close I came to revealing us. “God, I can’t believe how stupid I was. You’re right, I need to be more careful.”
“So you’ll still go see him?” she asks with a hopeful expression. God love her, the woman is like an infectious ray of sunshine.
“Yes, Alanna.” I grin. “I’ll go see him. I’ll wear a hat and glasses or something.”
“Good plan,” she says, reaching into the box for another strawberry.
An hour later, I’m freshly showered and feeling slightly better as I prepare to see Gabriel again. True to his domineering nature, he demanded that I be picked up by his personal driver. I argued with him about it at first, but ultimately I ended up relenting. I have a feeling that might be a common occurrence with us.
Now I have thirty minutes to get ready, and I have no idea what to wear. I sort through my lingerie, trying not to pick anything too racy. I don’t want Gabriel to think I’m handing myself to him on a silver platter. Because I’m using him just as much as he is using me. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
I end up settling on a black bra and thong set with little pink bows. Simple, cute, and straightforward. That’s the easy part because now I have to pick out actual clothing. At first I feel like nothing in my closet is good enough for the likes of Gabriel Maddox. But then I remind myself that I don’t really care what he thinks, this is just sex. I throw on a black slashed tank top with lace underneath and a jean mini skirt, paired with some short studded boots.
For once my hair cooperates, and I actually like what I see. By the time I finish applying my signature lipstick and mascara, I have exactly two minutes to get downstairs in time to be picked up.
When I walk into the living room, Alanna is busy munching away at the chocolate covered strawberries again. “Oh great,” she says. “You’re going to go get laid, and I’m just sitting here getting fat courtesy of your hot new man.”
“Finally, a reversal of roles!” I grin and self-consciously smooth my skirt down. “So do I look alright?”
“Like sex on legs, baby. You’re a knockout, as always. He’s going to be eating out of the palm of your hand.”
I smile gratefully because Alanna would never tell me I looked good if I really didn’t. “Okay, well I better get going then, wouldn’t want to be late and upset Mr. Testy again.”
“Have fun!” Alanna calls after me as I step out the door.
Downstairs, the driver is waiting in front of the black sedan. He’s wearing a black suit and hat, holding my door open for me. He introduces himself as Paul, and I recognize him from the first day I crashed into Gabriel.
The ride to Gabriel’s Apartment is surprisingly quick for the city, only about twenty minutes. I guess it’s probably practical to live so close to his workplace. His apartment is, as I imagined, in another high rise building. Paul the driver escorts me to the elevator and punches in the code for me before gracefully exiting the lift and leaving me to ascend on my own.
A couple minutes later, the doors open into a hallway and I walk to his door. I take a deep breath, knocking quietly. A moment later Gabriel appears, looking sexy as hell. He seems relaxed with a white V-neck tee and loose black pants. Part of my dirty imagination wonders how quickly those clothes could come off.
Once I’m inside, he pulls me into his arms without hesitation, smashing my lips to his. His hands clasp my cheeks as he gives me a hungry and passionate kiss, leaving me gasping for air by the time he pulls away. He takes a step back with a bewildered look on his face as if even he is surprised by his overly warm greeting towards me.
He holds me at arm’s length, examining my body from head to toe.
“God, Victoria,” he groans. “You and these outfits, they are so fucking sexy.”
I break eye contact, feeling shy under his appraisal. I can’t tell if he’s being genuine or just trying to lay it on thick, but either way I’m definitely not used to men talking to me like that. He must sense my withdrawal, because he gently cups my chin, pulling my gaze back toward him. Today, in the bright light of the apartment, his eyes are a gentle shade of pale blue. It amazes me how someone so menacing can have the most beautiful eyes.
Gabriel grabs my hand and leads me to the kitchen, motioning for me to sit at the breakfast bar. He goes to the fridge, giving me the first chance to take in his apartment. It’s moderately sized, and much less grand than I imagined it would be. I half expected to see a butler walking around a mansion this morning when I envisioned it.
Everything is black. Black leather couches, black walls, and shiny black floors. In the living room, I notice all the furnishings seem to have sharp edges. I can’t really see how any of it could be comfortable. There are no family photos, and the only artwork that hangs is a few large printed photos of cityscapes.
On the opposite wall, there is floor to ceiling glass which showcases an outdoor balcony with a private spa overlooking the city below. It’s the only detail of the apartment I really like. The space just seems so sterile and cold, like an office building rather than a home. I wonder idly if this reflects Gabriel’s personality as well. On the outside, he does seem somewhat cold, but I know on at least a couple of occasions I’ve seen a glimpse of another side to him.
But I, better than anyone, should know not to judge a book by its cover. There are probably a whole lot of reasons Gabriel is the way he is, and it isn’t my place to make assumptions. Still, a small part of me hopes that I will see more of his real personality… the one he hides away from the world.
Gabriel interrupts my thoughts when he reappears with two Mimosas, setting one on the breakfast bar in front of me. “A little hair of the dog.”
I take a small sip first, unsure if more alcohol is what I really want after this morning. But the taste is light and surprisingly refreshing, and I find it to be exactly what I need. He watches me approvingly as I drink, leaving his own drink untouched.
“You want me, Victoria,” he states in a matter of fact tone, getting straight down to business.
“Excuse me?” I shoot him a look of annoyance. What a cocky bastard.
“Well, it’s true, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. There’s no need for either of us to play coy. I want you too, very much, and I will make no show of hiding it.”
“Glad to see your ego is still in check,” I retort sarcastically.
I take another long pull of my cool drink, feeling like I’m going to need it for this conversation. I really shouldn’t be surprised by his attitude anymore. Yep, this apartment is definitely a reflection of his personality.
“The thing is,” he continues. “I want to be clear what this is between us. I fuck, and that’s it. You said the other day that I could have my pick of women, and it’s true. If you want sweet words and pillow talk after, then you’ve come to the wrong place.”
I can’t believe he just said that. Is this his pathetic attempt to win me over? By telling me he could get any woman he wanted? I’m already stewing up something venomous in reply, but he interrupts me before I can even open my mouth.
“I’ve never had to have this conve
rsation with anyone before.” He runs an anxious hand through his hair. “The women I date, they are usually well aware of what I expect beforehand. But I just feel it’s important that I’m honest with you upfront, giving you the chance to run now if you want.” His voice becomes strained, and he actually looks nervous. “But, I really don’t want you to run.”
I still can’t get over his earlier comment, and although it may be childish, I decide to have a jab at him anyway. Consequences be damned.
“Well,” I snap, “if you have your pick of women, then why don’t you just fuck them and save yourself the trouble.”
“Victoria, please, just hear me out. I want you. I can’t tell you in any other way than I already have. It’s that simple. But after you hear what I have to say, you may not want me.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. Okay, I need to focus. What exactly is he trying to tell me?
“Well, just lay it all out for me then,” I reply as calmly as my voice allows me to. “I’m not a damn child, Gabriel. Just tell me whatever it is. I’m sure I can handle it.”
“You’ve had a small taste of me. But I want there to be more.” His voice is filled with longing, and somewhere deep inside of me my own muscles seem to respond.
“First, I want to be clear,” he says distantly. “When you’re with me, I’m in control Victoria, not you. I need you to understand that. There is no other way. I will be rough with you, and I will do what I please until you tell me to stop. And once you tell me to stop, this thing between us ends… for good. Understand?”
I can’t help it. The sick, twisted part of me is enthralled by what he’s telling me. He wants to control me. To dominate me. And all I can think about is him standing over me naked, bossing me around. I can feel my face flushing at the very idea of it, my panties soaking with sudden arousal. The demons that live deep inside of me are rearing their ugly heads, screaming let’s totally do this! Meanwhile, logical me is shaking her head, asking how I always manage to get myself into these messes.
“Okay, I get it… the whole Dom-sub thing.” I shrug casually. “But just so you know, I won’t tell you to stop if you piss me off. I’ll just punch you.”
His eyes light up as he chuckles softly at my outburst. “You are so fiery, Victoria, I love that.”
I can’t keep my lips from tipping up again, hard as try. This man makes me smile even when I’m trying to be serious.
“Well, we’ll see won’t we?” he grins playfully. “Now back to my point before. We are both in understanding this isn’t a romantic relationship. But in the interest of keeping things safe, it would be a mutually exclusive sexual relationship. Would you agree to that?”
“This is so weird,” I mutter under my breath. “Why can’t you just talk normal to me? Say you don’t want me to fuck anyone else. Yeah, I get it. I don’t just throw myself at anything that moves if that’s what you’re thinking.”
He furrows his brow and clenches his jaw. “I never said or implied that, Victoria. I just wanted to be in agreement on this. It works both ways.”
I cross my arms and nod petulantly. I’ve never had sex before that took so much work beforehand. Granted, no other man ever made me feel the way Gabriel has, and perhaps that’s why I’m tolerating this bullshit.
“Yeah alright, got it.”
He stops for a moment, running his large fingers over his chin while he ponders something.
“The other day when I spanked you, did you enjoy it?”
“I’m not…. why are you asking me that?” God, I sound so flustered. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about this, clearly he likes it too.
He smiles one of those big, heart-stopping smiles of his. At the moment, I have half a mind to scrap this conversation and just throw myself across the breakfast bar at him. But he speaks before I have the chance.
“I know it’s a lot to take in,” he whispers. “But this is what I enjoy, Victoria. And I want to do this with you. I know it might be a little strange to someone like you…”
“To someone like me?” I stare at him in disbelief. “You’re telling me this isn’t strange to anyone else?”
“I don’t know. If it is, they’ve never said so.”
“So women always just let you do whatever you want to them?” I scoff.
“Of course they do.” He laughs bitterly. “Because they have their eye on the prize. It’s amazing what one will do when the determination is there.”
Is he actually insinuating that I’m a gold digger? That’s it. “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not that kind of woman. And I don’t have my eye on anything. I don’t even know why I came here, this is ridiculous!”
I jump off the bar stool and head for the front door. Before I even reach the end of the living area, he grabs my elbow, gently halting me. When I look up into his eyes, they are full of anguish.
“I’m sorry, Victoria. I shouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t referring to you in any way. Please don’t go… I don’t want you to.”
Something about the wounded puppy dog look on his face melts me a little. I don’t want to go either. I want to stay. I want him. God, what is wrong with me? He just told me he wants to dominate me, and even though it sounds hot to me, his definition could be something else entirely.
“I… I’m not sure,” I say quietly. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
He leans in a little closer, grabbing my hips. “I think it’s a very good idea. Just give me a chance, I have a feeling that you might actually like it.”
I glance down at my hands, feeling as though I’m walking on a tightrope. I know that if I leave now, there will be no more Gabriel Maddox. And something inside of me hates that thought. But then there’s my self-preservation, telling me that’s probably for the best.
“I could fuck you right now,” he whispers. “To show you just how much I want you, in case you’ve forgotten.”
I melt into him as he pulls me into his arms and runs his fingers along the bare skin of my shoulder. My breath grows shorter with each stroke. His engorged cock is pressing against my belly, and all I can think of is how much I want to feel his skin on mine, his scent all over me.
He leans closer, sweeping his scorching hot lips against my ear as he whispers, “Do you want me?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
His hand cups my breast, rubbing it gently for a moment before he pulls it free from my tank top. He dips his head and brings my nipple to his mouth, sucking slowly, deliciously. I groan as I wrap my hand around the nape of his neck, fully prepared to let him take me. And then he pulls away, studying me intently.
“So, then beg me,” he says impassively.
What the hell? I stare up at him in shock.
His fingers move nimbly to my other breast, yanking it free as he twists my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. His other hand snakes up beneath my skirt, heading straight for my soaking wet center.
“Well?” he asks. “Shall I just torture you all day like this? Or do you want me?”
I try my best to scowl at him. “I do but…”
“So then beg me,” he says simply, not nearly as affected as I am right now. “Tell me how much you want me.”
He pulls my skirt up around my hips, pushing his palm between my legs. His fingers move languidly inside my panties before dipping two of them inside of me. He moves them around in a torturous rhythm, eliciting a deep moan from within me. And then he brings them to his mouth and sucks on them, tasting me on his lips.
“So delicious.”
I can’t take anymore.
“Please,” I whimper.
A slow smile of satisfaction creeps across his face. “Please, what?”
“Please fuck me!” I groan. “I want you inside of me, please, Gabriel.”
His lips crash into mine… hard. He sucks and kisses me violently as his passion overtakes him. When he pulls away, my lips are swollen and bruised, but content.
“Now was that so hard?” he smirks. “Two minutes of me
touching you and I had you yielding already. You submitted to me then, did exactly as I requested. Do you think it would really be so difficult to see yourself doing the same thing over and over again?”
My body goes limp in his arms. He’s right. But I don’t care. All I care about right now is that he isn’t touching me. His skilled fingers doing things to me I’ve only ever dreamed about. His engorged cock filling me, stretching me, owning me.
“I thought we were going to…” I whisper.
His thumb reaches down to caress my cheek.
“Does that mean you’re willing to try this?” he coaxes.
“Yes.” My shoulders sag. “For now.”
I can’t believe this. He’s right. I’m eating out of the palm of his hand already.
He flashes me a victorious smile, and I roll my eyes. He grabs my hand and leads me through the living area and down the hall, stopping in front of one of the doors.
“Just so you know,” he says. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t like any of this. If you tell me to stop, I will stop.”
I glance over at the door, thinking about what he isn’t saying. That if I stop him, we are done.
He takes my hand and leads me through the door in silence. I try hard to steel my nerves. Do I really want this? He looks back at me with those beautiful blue eyes as though he wants to make sure I’m still here. Yes, I want this. I can just try it once. If I don’t like it, I can go. Then at least my curiosity will have been satisfied and this ridiculous thing between us will be over. But then again, what if I do actually like it?
Some feral part deep inside of me has always liked rough sex. Rough men. Men that treated me like crap. How is this going to be any different?
I glance around the room. It’s a bedroom, but I get the feeling it definitely isn’t his. It has a large bed, a couple odd sized chairs and tables, and one apothecary style cabinet in the corner. No clothing, no personal items. Everything is black. There are no blankets on the bed, only a set of crisp black sheets. If I thought the apartment was cold, I was sorely mistaken. This room is colder than any I’ve ever been in. Completely devoid of any emotion or comfort.