by Tara Benham
I simply nodded in agreement. There was no reason to answer it any other way. Even though it might have been wanted, it shouldn’t have been. I wouldn’t let that happen again. Everett asked if I would like to go for a walk with him. I agreed. As I stood up, I stole a peek at Declan, who was watching me intently while vaguely paying attention to Alissa. That made my heart skip again as a reminder that I had been excited that he had wanted to kiss me. My talk with Father Paul in the morning wasn’t coming fast enough. I prayed that he would have some answers or guidance for me. I was quickly falling apart on this mission. The thought that the Elders may have just witnessed that made me groan.
“Are you okay?” Everett looked concerned.
“Yes. No. Sorry, just not feeling well. I think the pizza is getting to me. Would you be too upset if I went up to bed instead of walking with you?”
“If that’s what you want, I understand.” His shoulders fell slightly in disappointment.
“It is. I’ll see you tomorrow night at Gray’s parents’ house though, right? And Saturday for the movies?”
“Of course, if you still want to go with me.”
I smiled at him. I didn’t want to lead him on, but he was nice enough, and I needed to keep up the façade. “Absolutely.” I raised my fist, and he put his up to meet mine. I said goodbyes to everyone before heading to bed.
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~Albert Einstein
Another night of restless sleep had me tired but still rising early. I showered as quickly and quietly as possible so as not to wake Hadraniel. I knew the bookstore would be open today, but I was hoping that I could get there before any customers and get adequate time with Father Paul. I decided that I would stop by the café to get us bagels and coffee. Father Paul loved sweets, so I was sure as the human Mr. Whitstock he still would appreciate the goodies. The walk to town was a great way to get my thoughts gathered. I needed to make sure my conversation with Father Paul went in the way that would both garner me answers but help to calm my fears as well.
The café was almost empty when I entered. Hannah was behind the counter, and another older gentleman from town was sipping on coffee, but that was it. Hannah greeted me, and introduced me to the older man. It was her father, and he barely grunted in my direction. It was strange that someone as sweet as Hannah could come from someone who seemed less than inclined to be social.
“I need two coffees please, with milk and two sugars each, as well as two of those blueberry bagels toasted.”
“Are you and Haddy having an early morning?”
“No, actually, I am headed over to the bookstore for some research and decided to bring Mr. Whitstock something for bothering him so early.”
“Research? It’s still summer.”
“Yeah, I know. We have stuff we have to do for mom and dad before they get here in a few weeks to visit. Nothing major.”
“Okay, well don’t forget about the cookout at Gray’s parents’ house tonight.”
“Of course not. Seven o’clock, right?”
“Yes ma’am.” She smiled and handed me the bagels and coffees. “Try not to have too much fun at the bookstore today.”
“You know me, wild and crazy Bayla.” I laughed as I headed out the door.
The bookstore was on the corner across from the café, and as I was crossing the street, Gray drove by and honked. I lifted my hand in acknowledgement, but didn’t stop to talk. I didn’t have time. I needed to see Mr. Whistock, plus my stomach had started growling letting me know it was time to eat. The bell above the door jingled as I entered the store. Mr. Whitstock, greeted me from the back.
“I figured I would see you this morning. How are doing, Bayla?” As he was asking me, he went around behind me and flipped the “open” sign to “closed”.
“Not good, Father Paul. I have never had so many things going on during a mission like this before, and I’m not sure what to do. Can we talk? I brought breakfast.” I sheepishly raised the bags towards him in hopes of getting a grin or a wink or some other normal Father Paul reaction.
“If there’s bagel in that bag, you’re on.” He responded with a chuckle.
“There’s blueberry bagels and some coffee for both of us. I hope you still enjoy sweets.”
“Earth sweets are my favorite kind of sweets. Let’s eat first, then we will talk.” He led us to the tables in the back of the store. He grabbed some napkins from somewhere in the back of the store while I took the bagels and cream cheese out of the bag.
“Mmmm. This is a good bagel. Thank you Bayla.”
I just nodded, as my mouth was currently full with bagel. We ate in amicable silence. Father Paul was the one angel in Heaven I knew best. He was usually the one to give me my missions and all prep prior to leaving. His knowledge of Earth and humans had always been helpful. He’d never been to Earth with me on my other missions though. With both him and Hadraniel here with me, I was starting to wonder if Elder Michael really had the same faith in me that Father Paul had.
“Ok, Bayla. What’s weighing on your mind?”
“Do you want me to just unload completely or can we review each concern separately?”
“There’s more than one thing on your mind?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. I nodded.
“Let’s do each thing individually.”
“Did Hadraniel get sent as backup in case I fail?”
Father Paul didn’t say anything. He just met my eyes and nodded.
“Am I supposed to save both Declan and Gray?”
“Yes.”
“Mephistopheles is going to be there, isn’t he? I’m going to have to fight him, aren’t I?”
“Bayla. I’m not really supposed to be telling you this, you know that.” His eyes told me the answer even when his words didn’t.
“Father Paul, I’m scared. I’ve never been scared before, and I have never feared that I wouldn’t succeed.”
“Maybe you need to decide on a different perception of what success is and plan your mission out for that ending, and not the one you were expecting.” Sadness radiating from Father Paul. It was almost if he didn’t expect me to survive this mission.
“I’ve been having dreams..., well more like nightmares. I think I know what I am going to have to do. I’m just not sure I can, or if Hadraniel will follow through. Is there something you can do to make sure Had does his part?”
“No. I can’t help out in the end at all.”
“Thank you, Father Paul.” I walked over to where he was sitting and threw my arms around his neck. My sudden outburst in both emotion and physical contact surprised him, but he quickly rebounded and wrapped his arms around me in a big hug.
“Bayla. You are one of my favorites. You know what to do. You can succeed, but you have to figure out all angles and beat them at their own game. Now, really I cannot say anything more. You can visit if you want to drink coffee or research books, but I will not be talking about this again. Understood?” He was kind but firm.
“Yessir.”
“Good girl. If I recall correctly, you have a party to get ready for, yes?”
“Yes, but I think I am going to go to the valley and scout it out before I head back to the cottage.”
He walked me to the front and waved goodbye before opening the store again to the public. He’d confirmed my fears, and didn’t really help settle my mind. He did however, set me on the path to prepare a way to ensure that both Gray and Declan were with Hadraniel when the quake occurred, no matter what happened to me. Scouting out the area was my first step in coming up with a plan that would lead Meph away from the camp. I was hoping that if he thought Declan only had to deal with Hadraniel that he would be willing to leave their line of sight. As far as the demons were concerned, they probably just thought he was my apprentice and not a Blue-in-Training.
The trek up to where Gray had taken me was just as taxing this time as it was then, but the descent back into the valley was nice and gradual. It was even
more beautiful down here than it looked from the hillside. The creek was easily passable, but I could see where it could get rough with enough rain or a change in structure like you would see with an earthquake. There were plenty of meadows dotted randomly throughout the groupings of trees. I found one that was fairly open, with trees completely around it on three sides and the creek on the other. I took a moment to just take in the sights. It was truly amazing. I sat on a rock by the creek and watched the water rush by me. I was so focused on the song the robins were singing above me that I became entranced. I sat there forever, just taking in the world around me and allowing it to relax me. I decided that this was the place to camp. It allowed us some protection, but was calming. If we were going to have to survive a catastrophic event, we at least needed to have some rest beforehand.
Finally, grudgingly, I made myself get up. As I was making my way towards the hill I had come down, movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned and noticed a deer about a hundred yards away from me. He watched me, trying to determine if I was a threat before turning and heading in the opposite direction. He leaped across the creek and headed towards a patch of trees. Just before entering, he turned and looked at me again, almost like he was telling me to follow him. Deciding that it wouldn’t hurt, I went in the direction he was heading. Once inside the trees, I noticed that I could hear fast-moving water stronger and fuller than the creek. I continued to walk towards the noise before stumbling upon a second waterfall. It dropped off from where I was standing into a hole that looked like a cave of some sort. I dropped a rock down and counted how many seconds it took for it to hit bottom. It had to have been deep, because I never heard the stone hit, not even against water. If worse came to worst, I decided I could lead Meph here in hopes of pushing him down the hole. I made my way back to the clearing to head back, but not before making a cairn to mark the pathway. The climb up was a work-out but not as bad as coming the other way.
By the time I got to the cottage, I decided I should probably take a nap before the cookout. Had was sitting at the table with Declan. They both looked worried. Their looks of relief upon seeing me were made more comical due to the fatigue I was feeling.
“Just where have you been, Bayla?” I was halfway expecting Declan to have stamped his foot.
I giggled. “I was out. You both do realize I am grown, right? This is not my first rodeo. I have done this many, many times and never had any help.”
“Yes, but you do have help now. You should have at least told me where you were going.” Hadraniel looked crestfallen at my step backwards from depending upon him.
“I’m sorry. I honestly just didn’t think….’
“That’s the problem though isn’t it? You just don’t think.” Declan glared with his statement.
“Excuse me. First off, you do not get to make a point to make me feel bad. You don’t know me, and you are not responsible for me. Last I checked, we’re on opposing sides. Secondly, Haddy, I am sorry, but I am quite capable of taking care of myself. I do apologize for worrying you, but I’m fine. I am going to shower and take a nap before we head over to Gray’s.” I walked way before either of them could respond.
Once upstairs on my bed, I collapsed, not even wanting to shower at the moment. I knew I needed to because I was dirty from all the climbing, but I was exhausted both mentally and physically. I laid there for a few more minutes, then hauled myself up and into the bathroom. I took the laptop with me so that I could stream some music like Hannah had shown me, and took time to enjoy the hot water and music. I walked myself through a plan to get Meph away from the group, if necessary. I thought out how to lead them to the meadow I had found without them knowing I’d scoped out the area beforehand, and also how to explain to them what was going on when the earthquake actually happened. I realized that Hadraniel and I would need to bring all things necessary for the remainder of the mission with us when we camped because the cottage would be gone. The bookstore, the town, my friends’ families and homes, all would be gone. My heart began to hurt for them. I was sad that they would know such loss, and even sadder with the knowledge that they would be blaming me for not telling them so they could warn people. It was in my contract for this mission. I could not tell anyone. There were things that were supposed to happen, and I couldn’t go out of my way to prevent them unless it was going to be a failure of the mission.
Downstairs, I could hear Declan and Had still moving around, but even once I laid down on the bed, I kept the music playing so that I didn’t have to hear what they were saying, about me or anything else. The lyrics from the song playing at the moment was not helping my mood. The words were expressing my feelings of being lost and desperate with little hope of surviving this mission. Tears fell from my eyes without my permission and were still there when I woke up hours later. I must have overslept, because Had was knocking on my door telling me we needed to be leaving soon. I jumped up and quickly dressed. I had picked out a soft pink lace dress prior to falling asleep so I didn’t need much time. I pulled my hair to the side and quickly braided it. I found some silver flip flops to throw on. Hadraniel looked nice in a heather gray v-neck and khakis with hideous sandals that the human males were wearing around town. Declan must have left some time ago while I was sleeping. I looked at Had sheepishly hoping that he wasn’t still upset with me.
“Still mad?”
“No, I’m not mad Bay. I wasn’t mad before, I was just upset. I thought we had gotten past the whole ‘I’m Bayla, I don’t need help. I’m the queen of all things mission related” mindset. He even had an eye roll with the comment.
“I am sorry. I just saw a chance to go scope out the valley before coming home, so I took it.”
“Well, Mr. Whitstock called after you left saying you had seemed a little upset and to be looking for you soon. I probably wouldn’t have thought anything about it if he hadn’t suggested that you would be home soon. When you didn’t arrive, I got nervous. Believe it or not, I care for you, Bayla. You’re not just under my protection, I see you as a friend.” He stopped very abruptly when he realized he just told me something he wasn’t supposed to have shared.
“So, you’re my protector, are you?” I narrowed my eyes at him. I was not entirely surprised as he was a Blue, but I thought it was more for the sake of the mission and Gray, and not me.
“Bayla. We need to be leaving. Let’s not argue about this right now.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m simply going to state that I do not need protection. I have done this for four angel years and thousands of human years, I know how to protect myself. So if you are here as my protector, there are only a few things that could mean. One of which is the most obvious...that somehow I am in danger. Tell me Haddy, am I in danger? Do you have more on the mission than you’ve shared with me?”
He didn’t make eye contact with me. His shoulders slumped, eyebrows furrowed, and there seemed to be some sort of internal struggle going on. I was not going to let this pass, and I stood there in silence. I had learned in my own training that silence, if given time, can become awkward enough to lead others to talk. I had the patience of Job, or so Father Paul had said. He was always the one that would break the silence during our training sessions. He continued to avoid looking at me. It seemed that we had come to an impasse with him refusing to speak and me refusing to drop the subject. He cleared his throat several times.
“Hadraniel” I decided to try a different route. “Look at me Haddy, please. Don’t you think if I am going to fail or need protection you should tell me? Don’t I deserve a fighting chance?”
“Bayla.” He pleaded with me. Just that one word let me know, that he wanted to tell me but couldn’t. “Just as you have a contract for what you can and can’t do or say, I have one as well. I shouldn’t have even slipped up and let that out, and I can’t take it back. Please. Please just drop it.” Such hurt and anticipation were in his eyes.
“Fine. Let’s just go get this cookout over with.”
We were the last ones to show up to the cookout. Everyone was hanging out in groups spread throughout the backyard. Gray’s parents’ house was nice. It was a yellowish tan, with brown shutters and a brown door. They had flower beds all along the edges of the sidewalks, and underneath the windows on either side. Gray met us on the side of the house and let us in through the gate of the white picket fence. Hannah ran up and gave me a hug. She grimaced at the coldness I put off. I was still upset at Hadraniel. I needed to let it go soon. I couldn’t let on that something was wrong. Gray took us around the groups introducing us as the twins with missionary parents. His parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends were all very friendly. They were so accepting of me and Hadraniel. Here we were, almost complete strangers, and yet they acted like they’d known us forever. My emotions were running high. Tightness was creeping into my chest.
“Come with me.” I heard a whisper from behind me, and felt a hand pulling me away gently. When I turned, I saw Everett leading me to the front of the house. He sat on the top step of the porch and patted the area beside him. “You look like you needed to get away. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. You would think with having been a missionary most of my life and dealing with people, I would be better at handling crowds. Obviously, I’m not.”
He grinned. “It’s okay. I’m not good with a lot of people either. I could tell by your body language you needed an escape. Plus, I get to be a little selfish and have alone time with you.”
“A-ha, and now the truth comes out.” Holy crap, where did this flirtiness just come from?
“You caught me.” His hands raised up, and a smirk lit his face. Everett seemed sweet. I know that this was supposed to be a ruse, one that Hannah concocted, but it didn’t seem fair. Not only was I not interested in Everett, I couldn’t be if I wanted. He was also another human I wasn’t going to be able to save when the time came.