by Ruby Dixon
“Nope.” She sits down again, her feet dangling like a child on the strange, oversized bench. “Too much to think about.” She rubs her hand over her face again and looks so pale and exhausted that I worry.
“Like Rukhar?” I ask, thinking of her small son.
Harlow shakes her head violently. “I’m trying not to think about him at all, because if I do, I know I’m going to start crying and, well…” She pauses and sniffs, staring at the ceiling. “I’m thinking about other things instead. Like what if these slavers were working with another crew on another ship, and they’re going to come looking for them? Or what if there’s a tracker or a beacon somewhere on the ship that we haven’t found and it’s sending out signals? What if there’s an intergalactic check-in somewhere that I don’t know about or don’t know to ask Mardok, and someone’s coming looking for a missing ship? What do we do then?” She sighs and holds her mug tight with both hands. “And then there are the smaller worries, like what are we going to do with twenty new people, and what about all this technology on this ship that’s now ours, and the guns, and how do we handle how those things are going to change our world?” Her smile is weak. “You know, ‘small’ worries.”
I snort, enjoying the rush of steam from my cup on my face. “Doesn’t feel like a small worry to me. Those are legit things, and it’s normal to worry. Look at how everyone reacted to Kate’s kitten, and it’s just a cat. But you’d think she’d somehow conquered Everest by bringing one into camp. A lot of stuff is new to these guys.”
“A lot. Mardok comments on that, too. He’s struggling right now because he misses his friends.” Her mouth droops a little. “And Farli doesn’t know how to help. To her, being murdered for your ship is inconceivable. She can’t grasp it, just like most of the sa-khui don’t really get it. So it’s hard for Mardok to unload. I worry about him. He’s working frantically on this ship and…”
“And you don’t know what it means for us,” I guess. “Or if it’s even a good idea.”
“I just think that the sa-khui are a good, pure people, you know? They don’t need technology or us humans crapping them up with our ideas like stealing and murdering and slavery. I worry we’re going to ruin them.” The expression on her face grows wistful, and I suspect she’s thinking about her mate. There’s something a little…untamed about Rukh. A little feral. I prefer my guys like Taushen, a little hot and cold, maybe, but not quite so savage.
Of course, then I could kick myself for thinking about Taushen. “It’s rough right now,” is all I say, and drink more of my tea.
She nods, the distant look still on her face. After a moment, she focuses on me and puts a hand on the big table between us. “I just want you to know I don’t have any hard feelings about what happened here.”
A knot forms in my throat. “Oh?”
“At first I thought you were selling us out. I admit I had some…unpleasant thoughts about you for a few days.” She grimaces. “Then I realized that you kept emphasizing families and babies to the aliens, and I realized you were trying to do what you could to keep us all together. I appreciate it, and I wanted you to know that. Losing my boys would have gutted me.”
“I tried to suggest mated pairs,” I tell her, relieved she caught on. “Though I should have grabbed a gun and started blasting, like Summer did.” I’m still amazed at my friend. Who knew she was such a spitfire?
“You did what you could,” Harlow tells me as I take another sip of my tea. She looks thoughtful. “I just can’t figure out why they put you and Taushen together.”
Her expression is innocent—overly so—and it takes everything I have to choke my tea down without coughing. I manage to shrug my shoulders and sputter, “Wishful thinking on their part.”
“I guess so. He doesn’t seem like he was happy with your arrangements.” Harlow grimaces. “That must have made it a long few days. Long for everyone, of course, but I can’t imagine being trapped with someone that miserable.”
“Mmm.” I’m suddenly not all that thirsty anymore. Is she right? Does Taushen hate me?
“It’s so weird,” Harlow says with a little shake of her head. “He used to be so happy. Kind of like a puppy, you know? All eager and ready to take on the world.”
“He was?” I’m shocked. I picture Taushen and “puppy-like” isn’t what I imagine. “Salty” and “cranky” maybe, but definitely not “puppy.” “When?”
“Back when we first arrived. I wasn’t in Georgie’s original group, but I was one of the six pulled from pods, like our sleeping beauties here.” She gestures in the direction of the cargo bay. “I remember Taushen was younger then. About Sessah’s age.”
I think of Sessah, who’s just lanky enough to be in his teen years. He’s not filled out like Taushen, nor does he have the broad chest and shoulders and deep, booming voice. I try to picture Taushen like Sessah. I try to picture Taushen giddy and eager like a puppy.
Nope. Can’t do it. “So what happened?”
“I don’t know.” She shakes her head. “Something over the seasons, I guess. I don’t recall a single huge incident that would have changed him, like the cave-in. Warrek lost his father then, and he grieved, but his personality didn’t change. Taushen’s just grew…more unhappy as time passed. It’s a shame. He deserves something good in his life, you know?” She gives me a regretful little smile. “It’s the mom in me now, I guess, but I keep seeing how miserable he is and wishing something would cheer him up.”
Well, now I feel completely guilty. I think of our nasty, filthy, wall-banging round of sex. And then the next one. And him being all possessive and calling me his mate. And then me waking up the next morning and telling him I didn’t want to do any of that.
I push my tea away, my stomach in knots. Maybe I should talk to him. Just let him know that I don’t blame him for what happened and ask to be friends again. Maybe we can start over without the whole hair-pulling and biting. I don’t hate the guy. I don’t even hate the situation we were forced into—I’ve made poor choices in sex partners in the past, and Taushen was the best I’ve ever had (though maybe that was the roofie talking). As situations go, it wasn’t ideal, but it could have been worse.
A horrible thought occurs to me—what if that was Taushen’s first time?
What if I de-flowered the guy and then acted like he was dirt the next morning?
Ah, jeez. Things just get more and more complicated the more I think about it.
“Har-loh!” A strident voice breaks the quiet that falls between us.
“Uh oh,” Harlow says, and slides to her feet. “I’m in here, Rukh,” she calls out. “Keep your voice down. Everyone’s still sleeping.”
A moment later, a wild-eyed sa-khui hunter tears into the kitchen area. Rukh’s hair is a mess around his face, as if he’s just woken from sleep, and he’s naked. Yikes. I discreetly avert my eyes, even though I know it’s not a big thing for the sa-khui. I’m still not used to seeing big blue junk—and spur—hanging out for all the world to see.
“You were gone,” he says thickly, striding across the room and pulling Harlow into his arms. I watch discreetly from the corner of my eye as he holds her tight against him, stroking her hair. “I woke and you were gone.”
“I’m here,” she replies, her voice gentle. “I just wanted a drink, and I stopped to talk to Brooke. Nothing’s wrong.”
He touches her stomach and then her face, and the wild fear is still in his eyes.
“It’s okay,” she whispers, and then glances back to me, smiling apologetically. “Brooke and I can finish talking in the morning. ’Night.”
“’Night, you two,” I say, and drink my cold tea as they leave. I guess I’m not the only one that needs to unpack everything that happened while we were captive. I think of Mardok, who lost all his friends and old crew with the violent takeover. Of Harlow and Rukh, who had to send their son away.
But Mardok has Farli to hold him throughout the night. And Rukh has Harlow to help him through thing
And Taushen hates me.
I sigh, rinsing my weird mug and placing it back on a shelf. I really need to talk to him in the morning. If nothing else, we can come to terms with what happened between us and support each other. There’s no need for things to get ugly or unpleasant, or even awkward. Gail and Vaza aren’t official, and I’m sure if they broke up…
I pause, because no, I’m wrong there. Gail might be okay if she broke up with Vaza, but Vaza’s clearly over the moon when it comes to Gail. Losing her would break him.
Maybe that’s the problem here. Maybe these guys don’t know how to loosen their grip on a girl. All they know how to do is hold tight.
Of course, I never get the chance to talk to Taushen, because the next morning, the rest of the tribe arrives.
10
TAUSHEN
I search each face of my tribesmates as they arrive. Rokan, who is mated to Li-lah. Bek, who is mated to Ell-ee. Vektal, who is mated to Shorshie. Raahosh and his mate, Leezh. Salukh. Ereven. Hassen. Zolaya. Pashov. Cashol. All mated hunters.
There is no one that can resonate to Brooke. I am relieved, even though I am also angry at myself for being so possessive. She has made it clear she does not wish to be mine. That she only endures my touch when she is drugged.
She is not mine…but I am glad she will also not be another’s. Not yet.
Then I think of the four males waiting in their pods and scowl to myself.
Vektal claps me on the shoulder in greeting as they arrive at the cave-ship. The others are close behind, Rokan and Bek pulling up the rear. They drag sleds behind them, full of furs and gear that will be needed. When I see that, I know the answer that my chief has decided.
Like it or not, we will be waking up the twenty strangers.
My distaste for this must show on my face, because Vektal’s smile of greeting turns to a concerned look. “Has anything else happened? Have more returned?”
“All is well enough,” I tell him, carefully hiding my feelings. “No others have arrived. Come. The others will be glad to see you.”
Someone puts a hand to his mouth and calls out a boisterous “ho” in greeting. Zolaya, who is always happy and cheerful. It seems almost inappropriate, though I would not say such a thing. Zolaya has a good heart.
One by one, others emerge from the ship. Rukh appears, spear in hand, and then Farli rushes out to hug her brothers. Mardok follows behind his mate, though his greeting is not as cheery, and Har-loh waits by her mate’s side. Brooke does not rush out to greet the others either, taking her time to appear. When she does, I frown to see that her soft mane is knotted in high, decorative tails over each shoulder. Has she made herself attractive knowing that the others would arrive?
Why do I care? Why do I notice? She hates my touch.
“Everyone is well?” Vektal asks, going around to greet each tribesmate with a clasped arm and a quick look-over. “I wanted to bring Maylak, but the healer said she would be of more use back at Croatoan. The ship can heal just as well as her, she says.” He looks dubious. “Is anyone wounded?”
“We are all whole,” Farli tells him, casting a worried look at Mardok.
“Only our hearts are bruised,” Har-loh says a moment later, and clasps her hands over her belly. “Is Rukhar okay? Did he make the trip all right? Did he cry?” She sounds as if she will cry, as well, and Rukh puts a protective arm around his mate’s shoulders.
“Little Rukhar has not left Shail’s side,” Cashol offers. “He follows her like a shadow, and she clucks over him like a lonely dirtbeak.”
“There’s a visual,” Har-loh says with a teary little laugh and wipes at her eyes. “But it makes me feel a little better, at least.”
“Then I am glad.” He smiles patiently at her, and I suspect he sees a little of his own mate in Har-loh’s tears. “Is there somewhere to set a fire and make tea? I can tell you about Rukhar as we do.”
“There’s a kitchen,” she says, glancing at Rukh and then nodding at Cashol. “I’ll show you.”
Rukh follows behind them, his hand on Har-loh’s back protectively. I see that small move and think, I understand you. Cashol is mated, but I understand being possessive of a female. I thought I understood it when I sought Ti-fa-ni’s attention many seasons ago. Or when Li-lah and her sister arrived. Or when Farli came of age and there were not many male hunters left unmated in the tribe and I was sure to be her choice for a pleasure-mate. But how I felt all those times pales to how I feel about Brooke now. There is a hungry, furious craving for her deep in my gut that will not ease. I watch her as she greets the others, smiling politely and laughing at Zolaya’s jokes as the sleds are parked in the snow nearby.
It does not matter that she is not mine in her eyes. I view her as mine and mine alone.
Vektal claps a hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention. “Show me these new humans,” he tells me.
“You just got here,” Mardok says. “Want to take a load off first?”
“I have no load that I cannot shoulder,” Vektal tells him with a nod, and for some reason that makes Mardok smile. Vektal continues. “And I have thought about these new humans for many, many days. I would wait no longer.”
“Come,” I tell him. “I will show you.”
I turn to go inside the ship and I am not entirely surprised that everyone chooses to follow behind us. Of course they will. It is exciting to hear that new humans will be joining us, even if the others are already mated.
Perhaps I should be excited at the prospect of sixteen new females, all of whom I could resonate to the moment they emerge from their sleep pods. But the thought does not fill me with the joy it would have, once. Instead, I think of Brooke. Brooke, who clung to me even as I thrust into her, crying out her pleasure. Brooke, who bit at my earlobe as if she could not resist a taste.
Brooke, who had been given something by our captors to make her act in such a way.
My stomach curdles at the thought.
It feels strange to be leading my chief in to see the sleeping humans, but Mardok and Farli seem content to follow behind, and Rukh and Har-loh have disappeared. I suppose I must be the one to show them, then. Brooke watches me, too, and it is her gaze that adds a little strength to my step. Perhaps I imagine the approval I see in her eyes. It does not matter. Right now, all that matters is the chief’s decision.
I take him to the large, cavernous room in the ship that the others call “cargo bay.” The strange pods are lined up along the walls and in a row across the floor, and I lead the group to the first one. The lids are kept over the pods because Mardok and Har-loh fear they will get damaged and wake the sleeping occupant, so I pry the lid off the first one and step back so my chief can see.
Someone jostles me from behind, desperate to peer inside. Vektal leans over, and then frowns, curious. “What is this creature? Is it a human?” He looks to Brooke. “Buh-brukh? Do you have people that look like this?”
She moves to my side, her hand grazing my arm as she moves forward to look at the sleeping male. I am fascinated by that small touch, my cock surging in response. I barely notice her words as she tells the chief that no, that male is not human. She doesn’t know what it is. Standing in front of me, her pink-and-brown braids are just below my chin. If I pull her against me, she would fit perfectly against my body. If I inhale deeply, I can breathe in her scent—
“That’s a fucking lizard-man and you think he might be human?” Leezh’s loud thoughts burst through my fantasy. “Has a third resonance to Georgie squeezed your brain out of your dick?” The yellow-haired human peers over the sleeping male and then gives the chief another disgusted look. “He’s got fricking scales. He’s bronze. What part of that screams ‘human’?”
Raahosh puts a calming hand on his mate’s shoulder, mouth twitching with silent amusement. “Perhaps he is not the only one that is sleep deprived. You are yelling, my mate.”
“Am I? Shit. Sorry.” She grimaces. “I’m just…damn, dude. A friggin’ lizard-man? What does that say about what you think we look like?” She casts another disgruntled look in the chief’s direction.
“My Shorshie is beautiful beyond anything.” Vektal scowls, irritated with Leezh’s abrasive words. “I did not mean—”
“He looks a little human, doesn’t he, Taushen?” Brooke comments, interjecting. Her voice is sweetly teasing. “If you ignore the scales, he looks a lot more like human people than sa-khui people. I can see the mistake.”
“He’s gold,” Leezh says. “And scaly.”
“The males are all non-humans, and all the females are humans. I think it kind of goes along with what we’ve seen of the slavers, but who can guess the reasoning behind selling four alien guys, too?” Brooke continues, and turns toward me. She touches my arm, and my skin feels on fire with that caress. “Can you show Vektal the other males while everyone looks at this one?”
She acts as if we are a team, she and I. I like it far more than I should, and find myself eager to do her bidding. When Vektal looks expectantly at me, I nod and gesture to a pod on the far side of the room. Brooke moves next to Leezh and speaks quietly, the flirty tone in her voice. It is the tone she uses when she wants something, and when Leezh laughs a moment later, I realize she is trying to distract the others so I can show the chief privately. Brooke glances over at me and then points at something else in the scaly male’s pod, again using her teasing voice.
It takes me a moment to realize she did not use such a tone on me. Pride puffs my chest. I stride a bit more confidently to the other creature’s pod and pull back the lid. “This one is ugly and fierce-looking,” I tell him. “I worry he will be a problem when he awakens. The other two males are more human-looking, but Brooke assures me that they are not.”
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