by Tara Brown
I frown, “We can't get in there, can we?”
Her smile tells me I’m wrong when she looks back at me.
A noise from behind us scares me. I slip against the wall, ready but Anna walks in, out of breath and whispering like a mad woman.
I step closer to hear her better. She points, “They’re here.”
My stomach clenches, “Will and Jake?”
She nods and tries to catch her breath.
“Did they see you?”
She shakes her head and gives me a look. I smirk until I see the blood trickling down her arm. I grab at it but she slaps my hand away, “Bullet grazed me. It’s a scratch.”
I sigh, “People die from scratches.”
She rolls her eyes.
Star drops to her knees and fishes something out from under the sink. She passes me her gun and stands up with a round thing in her hands.
She holds it up, “When I open the door, you press this on the side and toss it inside of the cellar.”
I nod. I don’t feel good. I have a bad feeling. I take the round thing; it looks like a grenade. I’ve seen them once. It was in an old military compound where I found my silencer.
I stare at the black button that I have to press and nod, “Let’s do this.”
Leo whines. He sniffs the food a bit and circles. I scratch his head. We walk to the cellar. Anna stays at the top of the stars with her gun ready. Star punches something into the keypad. A beep breaks the silence. I almost jump. She puts her hand on the handle and nods. She pulls back fast, I press the button and toss it inside. Instantly, smoke fills the room. She slams the door shut. I look up at Anna but she’s gone.
“Trap.”
Leo is gone too. I run up the stairs, knowing the cellar is empty. Marshall is smarter than that.
I round the corner from the kitchen and come to a skidding stop. Through the doorway I see a blonde head. A desperate cry makes an attempt from my throat but the fear has it clogged up. Next to the blonde head is a snarling and savage-looking teenager. I stuff the guns in the back of my pants quickly and hold the rifle like it’s my only weapon. I stumble out onto the front porch. Leo is huge, his hair is standing on end. A large man is holding Anna with a gun to her throat.
I look back at Star. Her eyes don’t show anything. I don’t know if it’s her that’s betrayed us, but I suspect. I know I’ve spent my life on the coward's path and she is my sister. We share the same pathetic blood.
I grip my rifle, walking forward.
Marshall clasps his hands, “Why there she is. The star of our party.”
I cringe; it was Star all along. The van that drove up wasn’t Jake and Will. It was Marshall. He never was at Bernie’s house. He was walking to my cabin to steal my family. I fake a smile at Sarah but she doesn’t buy it. I nod at Meg. She snarls and claws at the hand holding her.
“Give us your weapons and surrender and they live. Fight me and they die.”
I drop the rifle instantly and shoot Leo a sideways glance. He bows his head. As I walk forward, he will retreat to the side of the house. He will run into the woods. He will do as he is told. I have made that choice for him and he will not betray me. He will live. That’s what it’s always been about. I brought this fight and he will not die in it.
Something unexpected happens. Star growls, “Why Marshall? Why do you want her dead so badly?”
He points, “What do you think we’ve been hunting all these years, Star? You think the sole purpose of the fighting camps was stopping the breeder farms?”
I don’t understand but she gasps, “You’ve been killing the children?”
His eyes harden, “And this one is no different. She cannot be left to live. None of them can.”
She sounds sickened when she whispers, “You’re one of the Lord’s Keepers?”
He nods, “We have a job to do.” He points to the sky, “He kept us safe and alive when our world turned on itself. Only he has saved us.” He looks at me, “We let you live because we needed your help to stop the farms. You were making it so easy for us, bringing the little abominations right to us.”
My breath is hard to get, “Where did you take them?”
He shakes his head, “We just free them. The little bit of soul they have is given back to God.”
Star shouts, “Why? How could you? They were children!”
He gives us a blank look as he slowly walks behind Sarah and grabs her blonde hair, “THESE ARE CHILDREN! THOSE ARE MONSTERS MADE BY MAN! ONE MAN WHO THINKS HE’S A GOD! THERE IS ONE GOD AND HE DOES NOT ALLOW COPIES OF HIS CREATIONS!”
Sarah screams, making me twitch.
Star sounds like she might laugh at him, “So the van filled with children that we freed—those were coming to you, not the city?”
He looked at her, “Yes."
My hands twitch with a longing to hold the steel in my back. I glance around and feel a slight bit of relief at least that Leo is gone. “But you’re a scientist.” I point out.
He shakes his head, “I was a scientist. I have always been a man of faith. I found a perfect harmony in science, nature, and God that most wouldn’t see. When the experiments with DNA started, I believed we were looking for a way to eradicate diseases, like diabetes. But that wasn’t it at all. He wanted to modify what God had already perfected. If there were diseases and imperfections, they too were man-made.”
Meg spits at him, “God would be ashamed of you.”
He backhands her and grabs a gun from the side of the man next to him. I see him contemplate killing Meg. My insides burn until he points it at me, “You come with us.”
Star grips her gun but I turn to her, “Get them out of here.”
She nods. I see her brain scrambling for an idea, but this is the best one and we both know it.
Sarah is released. She cries out, running to my arms. She grips me, “Don’t leave.”
I drop to my knee, “I love you! No matter what happens, you remember that.”
Her blue eyes are filled with tears. I have turned off my emotions though. I can’t feel sad, I’m stuck in fear and hate. I pull her sweaty, little fingers from my clothes and pass her to Star. Star holds her tight.
The man with the gun to Anna’s throat grins at me and tightens his finger. Meg gives me a subtle headshake. She has a plan. I give her a set look, “Go to Star.”
She begs me with her face. I shake my head, “Go.”
She is pushed into the dry grass, crying out from the force of it.
Marshall gives me a cruel, cold stare.
“WOLFIE!”
My head snaps around. Mary walks to us, gripping the little boy. No one holds her arm. No one has forced her to come from the side of the house. She is here freely. Of course she is.
“She has guns in her back, you idiots,” she points at me. I pull a gun, firing at her face. A shot hits my left shoulder but Mary drops onto the grass, spilling the boy from her arms. He screams. Star drops to her knees, pulling Sarah and Meg to the ground.
I roll instantly, shooting the man Anna has hit in the balls. He fires at me; I feel the bullet graze my side. I pull my other gun and force my body to work against the pain. Leo comes running from behind, he has disobeyed me. He jumps Marshall from behind.
I see the gun come up. I hear a scream. I shoot a man coming from the house firing at us.
I look back for Marshall but now there are a pile of them all struggling together. Shots are being fired within the pile. I stand, running as fast as I can. I grab Leo, dragging him from the pile. Meg is on top of Marshall, holding the rifle I dropped. She fires into his chest. She runs to save Leo.
Marshall glares at me, "You'll never stop us. God wants you all dead." I see Marshall’s eyes go slack as he coughs a last bit of blood.
Leo stands but his back leg buckles. He’s been shot in the hind legs somewhere. He isn’t the one I’m grabbing though. The dark eyes searching my face are breaking my heart. “Is he damned-well dead?” she asks and coughs.
I nod, tears
are streaming my face. Star is limping, carrying Sarah. I can't see properly. Anna crawls to us. We are all covered in blood. I grip Meg to me, I can't talk. I don’t know what to say.
Meg smiles, “Is Leo okay?”
I glance and him and nod, “He’ll be okay. It’s a leg wound.”
She nods, “Good.”
She has saved him. I peel back her clothes, pressing my hands into the gushing blood coming from her stomach. I know what that is—that is death. Even in the old world, a stomach shot was death.
She holds me, her eyes are wild, “The cabin is gone, Em. They burned it to the ground.”
I close my eyes.
She sniffles, “They shot Ron too.”
I cry harder, “I’m sorry, Meg.”
She shakes her head, “At least he’s waiting for me.” She closes her eyes and grips me tighter, “Mary was one of them.”
“I figured. I’m sorry I let her stay.”
She gives me a funny smile, “I least I got to kick the crap outta her before they got there to attack.” Her eyes dart at Sarah.
I laugh and cry. Sarah sobs over Meg, “Don’t die, Meg.”
Meg opens her dark eyes, “Hey, kid. I’m not dying, I’m going to be with Ron.” Her eyes twinkle, “He owes me something.” She looks at me, “God’ll forgive you, Em. I’ll tell him how much you done for us all when I get there.” She closes her eyes again and winces, "Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t all his plan, using you to free people. He knows you're good inside. Stop them from killing them babies, Em."
I hug her tightly, "I love you, Meg. I will."
She coughs and nods, "Me too, Em. You're as thorny as a rose bush, but like the flowers on them, you're worth the scratches." Her eyes open and she winks at Sarah, "Be good."
Sarah sobs harder, "Don’t leave me, Meg."
She shakes her head, "Never."
I watch as her face goes calm. Anna is bawling with a high-pitched wheeze, holding Sarah. I can't breath and Leo has dragged himself over. He’s nudging her and whining.
He smells and licks, and finally lifts his head and howls the most-haunting sound I have ever heard him make. It’s like a song. He does it a few times and then bends his head. He takes a small bite of her stomach where the blood has stopped seeping. He limps away with her blood on his face, holding his leg in the air.
We lie there, helpless. I never got to ask Marshall anything. I know nothing. The sound of the little boy crying over his dead mother doesn’t even touch me.
Nothing can.
My friend is dead. One of my ‘us’.
Chapter Three
They arrive to the scene the way it was hours before. No one has really moved much. I’m clutching her cold-dead body to mine. Nothing can take her from me. I failed her. I let her die. I shot Mary and started it. I did this.
I didn’t know I had more tears but there they were, falling from my eyes as I continued stroking her hair.
I hear the whispers and the words around me. I know Star is starting to clean everyone up. I know I should get up, but if I let her go, she’s gone forever and I don’t trust God enough to take her.
“Hey, Em.”
I glance over to see Jake. He smiles but I can see the tears in his eyes. He takes my hand, “Come here.”
I shake my head, gripping her to me, cradling her.
He pries my fingers from her, lifting me off the ground. I am about to scream and fight, when I see Will lift her so gently and carefully.
I cry harder.
Will is stone faced, but I can see it everywhere. Jake holds me to him, his body is keeping me together.
I bury my face, “I shot Mary and he shot Meg. I shouldn’t have shot Mary.”
I feel little fingers prying and worming their way into the embrace. I wriggle from Jake’s arms and surround the sobbing, blonde face.
Star sniffles, “She saved Leo, I saw her. Marshall put the gun up and Meg jumped. She knew what she was doing, Em.”
I give Leo a dirty look and grip Sarah, “Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head and sniffles. We walk, following behind Meg’s body that Will has wrapped in a sheet. Bernie has dug a hole next to a huge rose bush. Will places her in the hole. I gag a bit. He tosses a handful of dirt into the hole and steps back. Sarah and me cling to each other. I drop to my knees and watch everyone follow Will’s lead.
Bernie speaks softly, “Four years ago this rose bush grew from nothing. I never planted it or watered it. It’s grown from nothing and become something that makes my day a little bit better. Now I never knew Meg well, but I got the sense that she didn’t come from a lot of love. I get the sense she found it in this group of people. I can't think of a better place to put someone from our little group.”
Sarah smiles, still sniffling, “She was thorny like that rose bush too, just like Em.”
We all laugh.
Leo finally limps over and nuzzles against me. Sarah wraps her arms around him, crying into his fur.
I see Will staring at me with a look that’s filled with pain and anger.
I nod at him and feel the defeat and loss to the full extent. I pick up my handful of dirt and get up. I stand at the edge of the hole and look down on the sheet.
I have nothing and everything to say, but I don’t know how to say it. So I look up, I know she’s there. I never knew anything with as much certainty as I do this. I drop the dirt from my hand and whisper, “Forgive me.”
I turn and walk away. I can hear the cries and the dirt being shoveled on top of her. No… not her. She’s gone. She’s with Ron.
Every painful step fills me with something not good. I walk past the house and into the woods. I climb a tree and sit.
I feel safer off the ground.
My arms are bleeding and so is my side. Every branch I climb hurts me in a new way, but I can't imagine the pain she was in.
I sit in the tree and think about it all.
I feel the tree sway. Anna climbs to a branch beside me. Her face is swollen from tears and bruises. Her leg is hurt. I can see the tied bandage on it.
“I screwed up.”
She nods. She knows it too.
“If I‘d known they had Meg and Sarah, I would have let Will and Jake come. I would have made them come. I would have done the attack differently.” I lean my face into the bark, “Shows you what I know.”
She nods. She doesn’t say anything. What can she say?
“Where’s Andy?”
She nods at the house, “Star has him. She’s getting him to bed.”
I nod. I feel sick for what I’ve done to him. What I’ve taken from him. He’s a small kid and I’ve taken the only person in the world that loved him. Mary took everything from me. I owed her, but he didn’t do anything to me. Well, beyond annoy the hell outta me.
I look across the field and see Jake, Will, and Bernie stacking rocks on the mound of dirt. Sarah is standing there all alone. When the sun goes down, it makes Sarah look a bit like a ghost standing at the edge of the pile. Her blonde hair is a mess.
I force myself to watch her feel the loss of her closest friend and number-one protector. It fills me with a kind of cold hate. The kind that burns but not like fire—like too much frost and no feeling.
I want nothing like I want my revenge. Forget the world, the flashy crow, and the little kids. I want my revenge. I want to be like Leo and take a taste of her blood so I always remember.
My head starts to nod as I nearly fall asleep in the tree. I climb down, leaving Anna in the tree. She nods at me as I walk away and cross the field to the house.
Leo and Sarah are sitting at the grave. I whistle but he doesn’t come.
I go inside. Bernie is restoring the power supplies and cussing about his house. He sees me and stops. Will turns and I see it.
I nod, “Just say it.”
He folds his arms over his chest, “You fucking killed her.”
I nod again, “I know.” He walks past me and out
the door. He calls Leo and Sarah inside.
Star grabs my arm and drags me to the large room off the kitchen. “We gotta stitch you up.” She pulls my shirt off and sighs, “You didn’t kill her.”
“I left her with Mary, stupid. I came here without a clue as to what was going on, stupid. I never asked Will for help, stupid. I shot Mary and started the gun fight, stupid.”
She starts to clean my shoulder and arm, “Mary was a traitorous bitch. I have never enjoyed anything, as much as I did watching you shoot her in the face; I know how awful that sounds. I feel sad that her kid was there. He’s never going to be the same. At least he’s sleeping now. Bernie had some old, anti-nausea medicine, I knocked him out with it.” She laughs, making me laugh. We are bad people.