by Tara Brown
I see now that my way of reacting is never the same as other people’s, except Will. Me and him react exactly the same, only he ends up calling me crazy and telling me how unstable I am. I snort and walk into the cabin where Star and Jake are talking quietly. I nod, "We're leaving now. Sleeping in the woods with nature would be better than trying to sleep here."
She looks exhausted but smiles, "Okay. We killing on the way out?"
I sigh, "I don’t know. These guys are crazy."
Will comes in the cabin after me. He gives me a hard look. I sneer at him.
"They've been eating some of the people they kill."
I don’t understand. I stand there confused and still for a minute. Jake and Star must be feeling the same way, because they don’t say anything either. None of us move or speak for a minute.
Will nods, "I know."
I shake my head, "What? No. I must have misheard you."
His lip is tucked into a constant grimace, "No. They've eaten some humans. They got real hungry last winter. Jack had been doing the hunting but he wanted to find other folks to live with. He saw them all getting weird, like they had been alone too long. He knew they needed more diversity and he'd heard about the rebel camps having women and men. He figured these boys needed some women. When he left they caught a big bunch of men and a couple women. They had run out of meat…"
I put a hand up, "Stop."
He nods slowly, "We gotta go. Jack was gonna down a big deer or something to start a big barbecue up before we left. So that would be cooking as we left. Drinking and eating distracts them."
"That’s why they're so strange?"
He gives me a look.
"They're eating people and Jack wants us to let some of them live? He thinks they'll be okay if Fish is dead?"
He nods once.
I storm past him, flinging the door open and scan the grounds.
I'm breathing like a crazed person. I see a crossbow like the one I had a few years back. I storm up to the guy next to it.
I point at it, "Can I have that?"
He gives me a look, "Get lost."
I punch hard, cracking his jaw and my hand. He's up and off his feet, but I have the crossbow in my hands. I point it at his chest, "I asked nicely."
He wipes the blood from his face, "You never said please. I see the blade in his hands come at me. I leap back, pulling the trigger. The arrow slices into his arm. He drops the blade as I kick his legs out from under him. Another guy gives me a look. I wing his right arm too. Grabbing the small stack of fresh arrows from the ground, I glance around at the fire pit. There is no one around.
The two guys I shot are calling me names but Will and Jake are with me. I hear scuffles and harsh words. I'm at my threshold for crazy.
I wish Leo were with me. Holding the crossbow up and taking small steps, I round the corner of the cabin where the guy was sitting. I fire three shots, hitting the three guys standing next to a smaller fire pit. The fire is being built by a forth guy. I miss him, reload and hit his right arm. Jack comes running when he hears the screaming. He points a gun at me, "Stop."
I shake my head, "Jack, me and you both know this is never going to stop."
I can feel Will's hulking body next to mine. I can hear the scuffles behind me. A gunshot makes me jump. I glance back at Star holding a handgun over a dead man. She has the dead look in her eyes. The man on the ground is the one who was mainly attacking her before.
I look at Jack, "You need to purge this place. It's only going to get worse."
His eyes shoot to his son. He's pleading with me, but I shake my head. He sighs, "Go, Emma."
I walk backwards, holding the crossbow on him, "How do we get out?"
He points, "Stay that way."
We start to the edge of the campground.
I hear a gunshot and turn to see another dead man on the ground. Star is walking away, turning her back on them. Jake and Will grab rifles and water bottles.
Jake reaches for some jerky on the picnic table but Will slaps it out of his hand, "Not from here."
We enter the woods and I hear the screams and gunfire continue. We break into a sprint, leaping logs and bushes. I know at least two are dead and five are hurt on their shooting arms. We run hard and fast.
Will is shouting at us to run harder. I look back for a second and see them running after us.
I leap for a large branched tree and scramble into it like a monkey. I sit fast and steady myself. The first guy goes down as he lifts his gun up. I take a deep breath and drop the second guy, just as he comes into view. He rolls on the ground, staring up at me with an arrow in his other eye. It's probably the best shot I have ever made, or luck. The third guy drops as I hear a gunshot. They start to fire on us, but we are better at this. We've had nothing but solid practice for months and haven’t been drinking or eating people. Either way, we are a formidable team, minus Jake.
Jack and his son bring up the rear, shooting their own. I see Fish get a shot off. Jack drops into the woods. I leap from the branch and sprint into the group. Men are dropping all around me. I raise my crossbow and fire. Fish turns to me with a gun raised, just as the arrow hits his neck. He chokes but manages a shot. I don’t feel the bullet. I'm certain it's missed me, but I hear a sound behind me. Someone making a noise like stumbling in the bush.
Jack's son is gone too. I get to Jack's body to see his son on his knees over his dying father. Jack smiles when he sees me, "Keep him safe for me."
I nod and grab his son by the arm. He is crying but lets me drag him away. I don’t know how many are left. I don’t know anything. I turn to drag the guy through the woods, but everything comes to a halt. A man holds a gun at me. I don’t have time to react. The barrel is bigger than anything I've ever seen, like my eyes zoom in to see it. As it fires I'm shoved down into the bush. I hear a cry I recognize. I stop.
I'm frozen and I can't get air. Everything is gone in my world instantly. My plan, my hate, my revenge, my fears, and my loves, all fade away. If the sound of the person hurt is who I think it is. I look back over my shoulder to see Will leaning against a tree. The back of his tee shirt is red. I shake my head, "No." I run for him screaming, "NO!"
I can see that he isn’t getting air. I don’t know what to do. He drops to his knee, still hanging on the tree. I reach him, skidding on my knees and turning him to face me.
I grab his face, making him see me, "You need to make it to the vehicles. Okay?"
His breathing is fast and shallow. His eyes water and fill with panic, "Em, you okay?" His voice is gravelly, "You okay, baby?"
I cry and nod. He saved me. He is going to die for me. I'm not worthy of that. I run my hands down his cheeks, shaking my head.
I tear open the front of the shirt but there is nothing. I don’t ever understand how he got shot in the back if he was shoving me to the ground. I spin him and see the jagged edge where the bullet went in. The wound is making a crackling sound with his shallow breaths. I look at my filthy hand and close my eyes. It's my best bet. I slap it against the bleeding wound and wrap my other arm around him. Jake grabs him from me.
"Oh shit. We need to run, let's go. We gotta get him to the city."
Jack's son gives me a look and nods, "Be right back."
He runs into the woods.
Jake looks at me for answers. I don’t have any.
I grab Will and hug him, "It's okay." He can't sit still or talk. He's moving and trying so hard for air, I am dying inside. I want to breath for him.
Star is glossy-eyed and scared. She wraps her arms around him too. His face was red with the struggle to breathe but it's paler now, maybe from blood loss but not much is coming out. My heart is in my stomach, I'm sure. I stroke his head, "It's okay, we'll get you to the city."
Jack's son comes riding up on a horse, leading three others.
Jake points, "You get into the saddle and I'll pass him to you."
I ask, trying not to cry, "How far is the city?"
&nb
sp; Jack's son shrugs, "A whole day's ride. But there is a town nearby. We can go there, they can help."
I shake my head, "No. The city is his best chance." I climb into the saddle. Jake lifts Will onto the saddle. I hold him tight. They mount. Jack's son starts fast. Star pulls her horse in next to mine, riding like she was born doing it. I would roll my eyes, if I wasn’t so scared. She shouts, "I'm going for Bern. He'll get us to the city."
I swallow hard, thinking fast, "No. Don’t go off alone." She waves, "Take care of him, Sis." She veers when we get to the road again and catches up to Jack's son. I can hear her shouting, but I can't pay attention to it. My butt is already killing me and my fingers are gripping to Will in the saddle in front of me. I don’t recall exactly how to ride a horse. We're flopping in the saddle, and I feel like I'm going to lose him, but I hang on as hard as I can and ride.
Will is making terrible sounds but the wound isn’t bleeding so badly. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
We get to the bottom of the hill, and I watch as Star goes in a different direction than us. She gets smaller and smaller and I start to worry. Damn her for creeping into my ‘us’ but she's there.
We ride until every inch of me is aching but somehow numb. My body is killing me and my throat is burning. The horse seems like he's exhausted but he's working to keep up to the other two in the front.
I barely notice the scenery, or the fact the sun has gone down. I barely recall anything, but the sound of his breathing, and the way it's coming out the hole in his back.
Jack's son pulls back, "He okay?"
I shake my head, "I don’t know." Will is bent over the front of the horse. I've pushed myself forward enough, that I'm holding him to the horse. My back is cramping, but I can't move or he'll fall off.
"The city is close."
I nod, "How long can the horse go for?"
"Not much longer."
I sigh and hold him to me, "Great. How long has it been since Star left?"
He shakes his head. I hold Will to me in desperation, as we make a dusty path behind us crossing the dry landscape. We don’t see anyone, which is a bit odd.
"We must be close, no people. They always avoid the city."
I glance at Jake and nod. I wonder if my face has the same shell-shocked look as his, like there isn’t any color left in us. His eyes are burning with anger and sorrow.
When I see the first building, I start to panic inside. Where is Star with Bern, and why aren’t they with us yet? How will we get Will into the city?
I slide my pass out of my pants and glance at Jack's son, "Me and Will have a pass for the city. It's not real, but it worked last time. If I have to, I'll take him in alone."
Jake looks like he might argue but he knows it's Will's best chance. People in the borderlands don’t have medicine to fix something like this.
We ride as hard as we can but our pace slows, as we get closer to the buildings. They loom over the tops of the trees ominously. I shudder when I think about the dead-eyed people, the breeder babies, and my father.
I get a flash of the gates through the trees as we get closer to the city. My heart is beating like I'm running through the woods; I feel sick but I keep the horse pointed in the right direction.
The heat of his body pressed against mine and the feel of his inconstant shuddering pushes me forward. I think he's near dead when I hear it. I turn to see a small truck rounding the corner. Sarah's little hand is waving from the window. We stop riding. I cling to Will as Bern stops the truck, skidding it along the broken pavement and dusty road. He, Star and Anna jump out, scared and running for me. I can't hear them. The blood is pounding in my ears now too. I know defeated tears are slipping down my cheeks, making their faces hazy. I don’t know what to do, I want Bernie to solve this. Her hand grabs Will's leg with Jake and slides him from my arms. Cold shivers and screaming muscles take the place of the large man I've held to me for hours. I slip from the horse, collapsing on the ground. My whole body is exhausted beyond the point of being able to walk. Jake places Will in the back of the truck. Leo stands, still favoring his leg. He limps to me, nudging me to get up.
"Hey, boy." The thickness of his fur and the smell of him almost tempt me into a full-fledged crying fit. Instead, I let him help me up and walk me to the back of the truck. We limp together.
Sarah leaps at me after Will is situated. She cries silently; she's gotten so good at being quiet. I kiss the top of her head, "Hey, kid."
She sniffles, "Hi, Em."
Anna whispers, "What the hell?"
I shake my head, "I don’t even have a way to explain." My eyes dart at Sarah. I can't explain anything in front of her. I can only hope Star filled them in. Star gives me a look. I nod at her, "Thanks."
She shakes her head, "You're part of my ‘us’ too, Em."
Anna wipes dust and dirt from her face; it's staining when it mixes with her tears. I drag myself into the back of the truck. Bernie is looking at the wound with a sour face, "Shit. How long has he been out?"
I nod, "A while."
He gives me a grim look, "We better get going then." He swallows hard, "Me, Anna, and Em are the only ones who can go. You all need to stay here. I'll come back for you. I have to get fuel in the city after I leave them there. I'll come back and bring you back to my place."
Jake crosses his arms, his eyes are red all around them, "No way. I'm coming too."
I shake my head, "We can't risk it. We need passes to get in."
He points at the wound, "We tell them we got ambushed and the bandits stole my ID."
I glance at Sarah and Star, lowering my voice, "I need you to stay with them."
He clenches his jaw. My eyes dart to Jack's son really quickly. He gets what I'm saying, thank God, and nods, "You hurry."
Leo jumps into the truck, but I shake my head, "You gotta stay with Sarah. She needs you."
His yellow eyes get confused and sad for a minute. I shake my head again, swallowing the lump in my throat; I hate that I keep leaving him. His lip twitches, flashing me a fang. I smile, "Don’t even give me that face. You gotta stay with Sarah."
He looks at her as she wipes her face, and tries not to look at Will's still and bloody body. He makes his shitty wolf noise and gets out of the truck. His limp looks bad. I nod at Star, "Check that leg, k?"
She nods, "Be fast."
Bernie passes them weapons. It dawns on me that we are near the place where I killed the infected and Will was in the tree. I shudder and drag my exhausted body closer to his lifeless one. I lift his still face into my lap and press my back into the back of the cab. Bernie and Anna jump in the front seat. I rifle Will's pockets, finding the crinkled pass in his back pocket.
The truck pulls away from the other half of us still standing on the dusty road, looking lost.
Sarah drops to her knee, wrapping her arms around Leo's head.
I wish everything were different.
Chapter Five
The apartment isn’t the same without Will there. I pace back and forth and wonder how Bernie lived in such a tight place before. The walls feel like they're closing in around me.
I hold myself and pace. Anna doesn’t move. She stares out the window, like she doesn’t know how to be in here either.
I walk to the kitchen, grabbing some sandwiches that Bernie brought us. He got the stuff from the stores supply place. I eat because I should. I know that if I'm going to be strong again, I need food. It’s the same reason that I eat when I come upon berries, even if I'm not hungry, I know I need them.
Anna watches out the window and then turns to see me eating. She nods and holds a hand out. I bring her two. She stuffs one in her mouth, chewing the whole thing and swallowing like a snake.
I sigh, "You think it's close to being over?"
She shakes her head and gets up. She comes back with water for both of us.
The sun sets in front of the huge window in the living room. It makes the odd-looking city appeared to be on fir
e with the orange light.
My stomach is a ball of nerves, and I have the worst feeling I can imagine.
"It doesn’t seem like the way it should have gone."
She nods slowly, not looking at me.
"It seems like we should have found the creepy baby killers and killed them for Meg, then killed my dad, and then went and started over. I don’t even know how to make it right again. I don’t care about the babies, and the people, and the suffering." My words are cold and they burn my tongue a little, but that can't make me care. I just don’t.
I look at her, hating the dead stare on her face, like she knows he's dead and she's given up. I hate that I probably look like that too. I bite my lip and look out the window again, "When it's over, whether he makes it or not, we give up."