by Rhys Everly
An older man was there, and I immediately recognized him as Andy’s dad, Nathan’s grandfather.
There was no denying the family resemblance, and I knew Andy was the oldest sibling.
“Good morning,” he grinned. “We’ve got guests?” he asked Andy.
If the ground could open up and swallow me whole, I’d give up Drag Race and become a nun.
No?
I looked down at my feet, but nothing happened. I guess not even God wanted me to be a nun. Black was a flattering color, but that kind of black only made Whoopi look good, and only if she was singing “I Will Follow Him.”
But still. A tiny black hole to make me disappear and end this torture would have been fabulous.
Still no?
Okay. I guess.
I’ll be keeping score, God.
“Paul, this is Kyle. Nathan’s best friend. Andy invited him to sleep in Nathan’s room last night as it was too late. Kyle is helping Andy with the bar,” Yaya said.
“That’s nice of you. Lord knows my son needs all the help he can get with that place,” he said, raising his cup in greeting.
“But sit down. You’ve got to eat,” Yaya said, and I was scared to tell her if I added more food in my mouth I’d explode. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You can’t go to work on an empty stomach. Come. Sit,” she kept on until Andy and I sat at the table.
She set a cup and a pot of coffee in front of me, and I immediately filled my cup.
That I could have more of. And if I had some whisky to add to it, it’d be the perfect thing to get me through this world’s worst walk of shame.
“Kyle,” Summer appeared from the hallway and ran to my arms before I had a chance to prepare myself for her weight.
I groaned but laughed it off.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I said when I managed to swallow my coffee.
“Summer, what have I told you about suffocating strangers?” Andy said from the head of the table, and I turned to look at him.
He offered me an apologetic smile, and I nodded. It wasn’t his fault.
Well, it was, but it also wasn’t.
“Kyle’s not a stranger, sweetie, is he?” Yaya commented as she put a plate down in front of her grandson.
“I assume you are studying with Nathan, Kyle? Are you studying food sciences, too?” Paul asked me.
I cast another glance at Andy before smiling at Paul and answering his question.
“Business development, huh? Excellent. If you need any help or advice, my door is always open,” he said. “I’ve been working since I was fourteen. You got a problem? I most likely have a solution to it.”
I thanked him for his offer before Andy cut in.
“Advice, Dad? Really?”
“What? Because I lost my investment doesn’t erase my experience. A lot of good, hardworking friends lost money during the Great Recession.” Paul glared at his son.
I suddenly went back to a conversation I had with Nathan so long ago, I’d almost forgotten we had it. Paul had lost a lot of money in 2008 during the financial crisis, and he’d been working non-stop since, trying to recover everything.
I couldn’t help myself when I looked at the two men sitting at the table and thinking like father, like son even if I knew nothing about Paul’s business acumen.
“Kyle, will you take me to school today?” Summer asked me, and I smiled at her before looking to Andy for approval.
“Sweetie, Daddy and Kyle have to go to work,” Yaya said, and Summer’s face dropped.
“I’m sure we can take some time out of our very busy schedule,” I said, ruffling Summer’s hair making her laugh and hug me, still sitting in my lap.
As strange as this morning was, it was also painful.
Painful because I wanted this to be breakfast every day for the rest of my life, but I knew it was probably never going to happen.
Even if Andy found the courage to come out, there was no telling how Nathan would react. Or the rest of his family.
When breakfast was over, we left the house with Summer in tail, and I was able to breathe again.
“That was close,” Andy whispered at me and climbed down the steps.
“Really? You think they bought that? God, I hope so,” I said.
Summer opened the door to the backseat and put her seatbelt on, and Andy drove us to her school.
Before she jumped out of the car, she turned to give me a kiss.
“Will you come play with me after work, Kyle?”
She was so sweet. And so innocent. She thought I was her brother’s best friend, and she wanted to spend some time with me.
“Of course,” I said. How could anyone say no to her? “I’m sure Daddy won’t mind if I take the afternoon off. What do you want to do? Play dolls or build a fairy fort?
“Fairy fort. Fairy fort,” Summer jumped in her seat.
“Summer!” Andy scolded her, and I instinctively put my hand on his arm to stop him.
“Fairy fort it is. I’ll get everything we need,” I said.
Summer didn’t seem to notice my accident and instead nodded at me with a wide grin.
I needed to be careful with those “accidents.” It wouldn’t be long before I had an “accident” like that in front of Nathan, and he wouldn’t buy whatever shit we tried to feed him.
“See you later, Kyle. Bye, Daddy,” Summer hooked her arms on both of us and hugged us on either side.
Then she jumped out of the car, and we set off for work.
“I’m sorry. That was a disaster,” he said.
It was and it wasn’t.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around what this morning was.
I put my hand on his head and ruffled his hair like he did with me.
“It was perfect,” I said.
And part of me meant it. It was. Despite the lies, I felt like part of his family.
“Liar,” Andy chuckled.
Yeah, there was certainly an element of a lie in my statement.
God. I was going to hell, wasn’t I?
Twenty-Five
Kyle
As soon as class was finished, I marched right out and aimed straight for my car. Well, Nathan’s car.
I needed to avoid familiar faces, especially the most familiar one. That’s why I didn’t stare or look around. I tried to be as laser-focused as possible and escape to the car.
“Hey. Kyle,” someone called behind me, and I closed my eyes trying really hard to ignore his voice.
He was the last person I needed to bump into. But of course, inevitable. After all, we did go to the same college. And we were best friends.
“Hey, Nate,” I said when Nathan caught up with me.
I tried to act surprised. Tried to pretend I hadn’t heard him, but I had no clue how successful I’d been because everything was tied in knots inside me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, slitting his eyes in suspicion.
Was it suspicion? Or was it my overactive, guilty imagination?
“Sure I am,” I said.
Really? Sure I am? Who the fuck says sure I am?
“Why? Do I not look okay?”
Nathan walked beside me, but his eyes were mainly trained on me.
“For starters, you’re acting like…whatever this is supposed to be. And I haven’t seen you in, like, forever man,” he said. “You haven’t called or messaged in weeks. We haven’t hung out in a while. Are you mad at me for something?”
Me? Mad at him? How could I be when I was the one doing the unthinkable?
I hated that I’d put doubt in his mind about our friendship. I was a terrible friend. And not just because I was sleeping with his dad.
“Of course I’m not mad at you. It’s my fault. Between coursework and the bar, I’ve been struggling to keep up with everything. I’m terrible. I know.”
“Be careful running yourself to the ground. You’re putting way too many hours at the bar. Aren’t you supposed to be doing ten, fifteen hours a week
or something?”
I nodded. He was right of course. And even if I wasn’t seeing his dad on the side, I’d still be doing more hours than necessary.
“There’s just so much work. It never ends,” I said.
“It never will unless you make time for other things in your life. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.”
My heart ached at his words and there was nothing I could do to make it go away. Not for me, and definitely not for him.
I hated lying to him. But what could I possibly say to him? I’m hopelessly in love with your dad, but I hope we can keep doing shots at the college bar after hours? That I’m doing naughty things with your father, but please come by my house and let’s watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and bitch about it?
If lying was keeping him at a distance, the truth would completely destroy him.
“Don’t be stupid. I’m still your best friend,” I said and hated every word and myself.
“Okay, if you say so,” he shrugged.
“What’s with the pity party, dude? Are you going through your mensies?”
Nathan punched my arm, and I didn’t have to act pained because I was.
“Where are you off to now? Please tell me you’re off work? Want me to come over and order takeout?”
I meant to say no. To give him a stupid excuse. I couldn’t have him coming over because his dad was waiting for me at my house to have insanely hot sex.
And even though having him over would mean disaster, I didn’t manage to refuse his offer. Not after those eyes that stared at me as if I was about to abandon a puppy on the side of the road.
Fuck. I was going to hell.
“What’s going on with you? You’re being weird,” he asked as we approached his car.
I passed him the keys, but he refused to take them.
“She’s your baby now. You drive her,” he said.
Fuck my luck. How was I supposed to warn Andy if I was the one driving?
Agh, Nathan! You and your giving nature.
“How’s work?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“Good,” I said flatly.
“Is my dad still being a dickhead to you?”
He wasn’t being a dickhead. He was giving me dick. But I couldn’t very well say that to him, could I?
“Uhm, no. No, he’s…changed. He’s really good now,” I said. “And when I say really good, I mean he stopped being weird about stuff.”
Yeah, like butt stuff.
Fucking hell, what was wrong with me?
Yeah, I was panicking. I had to warn Andy. I couldn’t text and drive. Even if I tried it, which I never would, Nathan would see me texting and then he’d ask about it. Or tell me off.
I rolled the windows down even though it was cold outside. I needed some fresh air. Did someone suck all the oxygen out of the car all of a sudden?
“See? I told you he’d come around,” Nathan said.
Come around. On. In. Yeah, he’d done all the coming, all right.
And I had a first-class ticket to hell.
“Uh-huh,” was all I managed to get out.
“You’re being odd. Like Yvie Oddly odd,” he said.
Yup. I was.
“Well, you know me. I’m 10% ginger, 100% odd.”
“Don’t forget freckles,” Nathan chuckled.
“Oh yeah. 80% freckles, too.”
“What did Davies say? You had a meeting, didn’t you?”
“He’s really impressed. As he’s impressed with the 180 your dad’s done.” At least there was a truth amidst all my stupid lies.
“Oh yeah. I saw the poster for the Halloween party. What are we dressing up as? I was thinking we can go as sexy Mario and Luigi. I’ll be sexy Mario of course—”
“Excuse me. You barely have a ‘stache,” I said.
“And you’re barely Italian. But you can be ginger Luigi, and I’ll be ‘stacheless Mario.”
“‘Stachless Mario and Ginger Luigi doesn’t quite cut it though, does it?”
“Hm…we did Power Rangers last year. We can’t do that again. Maybe gay superheroes?”
I was already going through the superhero combos we could do when Nathan jumped in his seat and clapped his hands.
“Oh, oh, oh. I know. You’ll be Daenerys and I’ll be the Starbucks cup,” he said.
I almost swerved off road. That wasn’t just brilliant. That was epic.
“Okay, so we gotta go get me hairspray, lots of fabric, and dragons. Lots and lots of dragons,” I said.
We spent the rest of the drive putting the details down on our costumes, and it was good to have my friend back.
Or more accurately for my friend to have me back.
I kept reminding myself that I was the one that’d grown distant. I was the one with the secret. And he was the one in the dark.
It was only when we got to my street that reality came crashing down on me.
“What do you wanna eat?” Nathan asked, going through our takeout options on his phone.
“Anything, Nathan,” I shouted from my side.
It wasn’t necessary for him to hear me, but hopefully Andy would and then go hide.
“Dude, what the hell?” he exclaimed, shielding one ear with his hand.
If only he could have shouted louder that would have been grand.
“What do you mean, Nathan?” I shouted again.
I just hoped Andy was in my bedroom taking a nap or something. At least that way I could go over and warn him.
“Why are you shouting?” Nathan shouted back, and I wanted to hug him for doing his part in letting his dad know he was here.
“I’m not shouting,” I said, fumbling with my keys and taking my good time getting the door open.
“Hey, isn’t that my dad’s car?” Nathan asked and pointed to a car down the road.
I turned to look at where he was pointing and found myself looking very definitely at Andy’s Jeep parked a few cars down.
Oh hell. I might as well give up now.
“No, I don’t think so,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound too weird.
Or any weirder than I already had.
“Huh, it looks like it. But then again, what would Dad be doing here?” he said.
“I’m sure he’s at work. And you’re right. What on earth would he be doing here? You know your dad doesn’t have a monopoly on Jeeps, right?”
“I guess,” he shrugged.
Nathan pushed the front door and went into the house, which gave me an excuse to belt his name again as a last ditch resort.
“Nathan, wait for me,” I said.
He walked into the living room, and I ran after him. His gaze was on the white briefs, a pair of white socks, and a gingham shirt decorating the floor with their messiness.
Nathan frowned and looked up at me slowly.
“Dude, you got company?”
“Oh…” I said. “Uhm.”
“You’re not sure?” he asked, slitting his eyes even more and giving me the “are you stupid?” look.
Granted, I was acting like I was, so fair point.
“Yes, I’ve got company,” I said.
“Is that why you’re acting like this? You could have told me you got a booty call. It’s not like I’d be offended,” he said doing his best impression at sounding casual.
But I could see it in his eyes and his body. The disappointment. The defeat.
Moments ago he was telling me how he’d missed me and we hadn’t seen each other in ages.
Moments ago I’d told him I’d been busy with work and college.
And now, here we were. In my living room with a booty call in hiding. A booty call I had the time for, but no time for my friend.
Not only did I have a first class ticket to hell, I had a VIP seat in the torture chamber with my name on it.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
Nathan tried to hide his feelings with a smile.
“It’s fine, dude. We all need some D once in a while. It’s not
the end of the world,” he said.
“Yeah, it is. I’m a terrible friend,” I said.
“You’re not perfect at the moment, but it’s cool. As long as you make it up to me.”
I nodded.
“Tomorrow. Let’s go out. Let’s spend the whole day together,” I said.
“I-I can’t tomorrow. I’m tutoring in the evening,” he said. “But any other day works.”
“The day after tomorrow then. Or…you know we can just ditch him here and just go out now,” I said.
I hoped Andy would understand. Surely he would. I had to spend some time with my friend. And by taking him out of the house, we were avoiding a car crash. So…double points, I guess?
“No. It’s cool. Get your D, dude. We’ll catch up on Friday,” he said. “Who is the guy anyway? Do I know him?”
Do you know him?
Well, let’s see. He brought you into this world. He raised you, he bought you that gorgeous car you let me use.
He’s your dad, silly.
“No, I don’t think so,” I mumbled.
“Whoever it is, I hope you are careful. You don’t want another Trent on your hands,” he said.
“I am. I will,” I said, and it was the truth.
Even though I wasn’t really careful, was I?
I’d given Andy heart, body, and soul, and I didn’t know if it’d end up in bliss or…
Yeah, it’d definitely end up in disaster.
Nathan scrunched up his face and stood there in silence for a second that felt like eons before he left.
I was a disgusting human being. How could I call myself Nathan’s best friend when I was treating him like this?
I went around looking for Andy, but I couldn’t find him anywhere.
“Where did you go?” I asked him when he picked up his phone.
“I’m in the car. I saw you with Nathan and I ran out the back door,” he said.
I returned to the living room and looked down at his clothes.
“Really? Without your pants?”
“I didn’t have time,” Andy said.
“Without your shirt?”
“Well, let’s just say your neighbors enjoyed the show,” he chuckled.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
“That was so close,” I said.