Wayward Love
Page 23
“I’ll learn to deal with it,” he said, and I hugged him even though his costume was too chunky for hugging.
“I wish this party was over already so I can go find him,” I said looking at the crammed bar and how impossible it would be to leave them on their own now and try to get Kyle back.
“You don’t have to go far. He’s here,” Nathan said, and I squinted.
“He’s here?”
“I told you I came for him. Did you think I came on my own? Dressed like a fucking cup?”
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He went to the restroom. There he is now,” Nathan pointed behind me and I saw him in the very back.
His hair was white and was wearing a tight-fitting blue tank top with scales. He made his way to the other side of the bar and I got glimpses of a long skirt in the same color.
I had no idea where he was going and why he wasn’t coming over to Nathan.
“What’s he dressed as?” I asked Nathan.
“Daenerys from Game of Thrones. Why? Please don’t tell me you’ve got an issue with the fact he’s wearing a dress?”
I pulled my gaze off him and looked at Nathan, even though it was nearly impossible to do so.
“No. I love him as he is. I love him in whatever shape or form,” I said.
“Shouldn’t you be telling him this?” Nathan rolled his eyes.
“Yes. I should,” I said.
“Then go get him for fuck’s sake.”
“There’s something I need to do first,” I said.
“What’s more important than the man you love?”
“I need to dress accordingly for him,” I said, and Nathan raised an eyebrow.
The costume Kyle wanted me to wear was still in the office. But after everything that happened, I didn’t want to touch it.
But now that Nathan was giving me his blessing? I wanted to show him I cared.
That I wasn’t a dick. That I was sorry. And that I needed him back in my life.
Thirty-One
Kyle
I still didn’t know how Nathan had convinced me to come to the party, but this was not fun. And whatever shit he used to lure me to Cedarwood Beach and Andy’s Bar, I’d have to get payback.
Yes, technically, this was my party. I’d planned everything and promoted the hell out of it. But I no longer had a place here.
Mainly because if I bumped into Andy, I didn’t know what I’d do. Whether I’d punch him in the face and storm out.
Or kiss him and take him in front of everyone, which was scary. Yes, he’d hurt me, and he was an asshole, but I couldn’t wipe away my feelings for him.
Nathan didn’t want me to miss my party, and I couldn’t say no to Nathan after everything I did to him.
Now how me being in the same space with his dad would mend my relationship with Nathan was a completely different question, but I’d been too afraid to ask.
Surely a normal adult would want me to stay as far away from their dad as possible. Especially if I’d been sleeping with him. But Nathan wasn’t normal and didn’t always operate with reason, even if he was a relative genius.
This was for Nathan. I was here for Nathan. Not for Andy.
The most important thing at the moment was reinforcing my friendship with my best friend. That was why I was here.
After I came out of the restroom and saw Nathan talking to Andy, I made myself scarce.
He could talk to his dad if he wanted to, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. And it was better to stay as far away from him as possible.
I tucked away in a corner and tried to enjoy the opening band, waiting for Nathan to come find me.
I was in no mood to party, even if the prospect of seeing Leo live on stage had been exhilarating before.
My heart and soul were broken into pieces. I couldn’t feel excited or happy. Of course I’d feel happy again. I knew that. But also the thought that I’d never feel happy again wouldn’t stop circling in my head.
It was silly.
It’d pass. As did everything else in life.
But what if it didn’t?
What if I was stuck with a broken heart, half of the man I was before?
“Hey, baby. Long time no see,” Trent said, approaching me, and I had to do a double take to make sure he wasn’t a figment of my imagination. “Why aren’t you answering my calls?”
He’d been calling me so much since I started seeing Andy that I had to block his number, although he didn’t seem to have gotten the memo.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked him.
“Aren’t you happy to see me, baby? I came all this way for you,” he said and took a swig of his beer.
“How did you know I was going to be here? And who asked you to come?” I said.
This wasn’t normal. Trent had been a bit temperamental over the time we’d been “benefiting” from each other, but he’d never shown any crazy stalker signs.
Unless you counted the messages and non-stop calls.
“I saw you putting the posters up around college. I knew this was your event, and I invited myself. I wouldn’t miss my boyfriend’s party,” he said and came closer, invading my personal space.
I didn’t like this. I didn’t like him standing so close to me, or him referring to me as his boyfriend.
Was he off his meds again? Trent suffered from bipolar disorder and that gave him incredible highs, but some shitty lows.
And delusions.
I had to tread carefully here.
“You mean friend with benefits?” I said and tried to shrug it off.
“Oh, come on. We never were just friends with benefits,” he said.
“Really? Did you forget all the times you pointed out our agreement when I was being ‘clingy?’”
“I was just playing with you,” he said, tugging at the band of my skirt.
God, I wanted to be easy with him, but he wasn’t making it easy for me.
First, he was touching me when I didn’t want to be touched, pulling at my skirt and trying to peek underneath.
And also, he used the word ‘play,’ and if that didn’t set me off, I don’t know what did.
I didn’t have an issue with the word, and I knew the context he was using it in, but I couldn’t help but be reminded of how I’d been played by Andy, just like Trent had been toying with me, too.
Granted, I was never in love with the dude and didn’t want a relationship with him or anything.
But sometimes, after fucking, I’d want a hug, and in response, he’d give me my clothes in a bunch and push me out the door in nothing but what my mama gave me.
“Playing, huh?” I grumbled. “Well, I’m not a toy, Trent. I don’t know if you’re off your meds or you’re just being a dick because you like it, but I’m nobody’s toy. I’m done being played, okay? Done. D-O-N-E done.”
Trent let go of the elastic band and hugged me instead, bringing his lips to my ear.
“I didn’t mean it that way, baby. I miss you,” he said.
It was tempting.
Tempting to let go of the shit he’d given me and just fuck Trent to oblivion until Andy was nothing but a distant memory.
But I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
Because I’d be digging an even bigger hole for myself when I came to my senses and wanted to end things with Trent.
So I did what I had to.
“But I don’t. I’m done with benefits,” I said and tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge.
“You don’t mean that,” he said.
“I do, actually. And if you haven’t gotten the memo, I blocked your number for a reason. Because I’m done with you.”
As much as I pushed, Trent was rock solid on me.
Damn my small body and my weak muscles.
Damn it all.
“You don’t mean that. Whatever you’re going through, I can help you with it. We’re just going through a rough patch. And even if you’ve slept with other guys, I don’t care.
I’m happy to let it go,” he said and rubbed himself over me.
I could feel his erection against my crotch, and whatever little sympathy I had for him jumped out the window.
“How about you let me go first,” I said.
“Why are you being so difficult? Stop being difficult. I took pity on you. I fucked you. I even let you fuck me. Stop being such a bitch. I told you I miss you. Isn’t that good enough for you?”
Well done, Kyle. You’ve gone and aggravated him and now he’s got you pinned against the wall.
Why wasn’t anyone doing anything? Couldn’t they see what was going on?
“Let go of me,” I said and made a last attempt to push him off.
“Trent, don’t do something you’ll regret tomorrow,” I said, testing if I could knee him in the groin, but he was too close.
“I don’t think you heard the man. He said get off,” someone said behind Trent, and I looked up to see Andy.
My beautiful, tall, sex on legs Andy. My Andy in his tight blue jeans, the yellow checkered shirt, and cow vest.
He’d dressed as Woody.
My Woody.
When Trent didn’t move, Andy reached for his shoulder and pulled him away.
Just. Like. That.
Like he weighed nothing, making me feel like a weakling for being unable to get him off me.
“It’s rude to touch someone when they don’t want you touching them,” Andy growled at Trent.
“Go fuck yourself, bastard. He’s my boyfriend. I can do whatever the fuck I want,” Trent shouted at Andy.
“Oh,” Andy said. “Last time I checked, Kyle was my boyfriend, so I’d suggest getting your hands off him.”
Trent looked from him to me and then stepped away from me, putting his hands up in surrender.
He turned to walk away, only at the last moment, he swung around and punched Andy in the face.
Andy lost his balance for a second but then found his footing and pushed Trent away from him.
Before he landed a punch on him, too, I sprang to action and put my hand on his fist before it landed on Trent.
Trent didn’t know what he was doing, and as much as what he’d tried to do bothered me, he’d wake up the next day and regret it anyway.
He didn’t need a bruise to go with it, as much as he deserved it.
“It’s okay,” I told Andy.
Trent looked around him at all the people staring at him and his gaze turned from aggressive and cocky to sad and confused, and he fled the scene, stumbling from person to person until he was out of sight.
I turned to Andy and he asked me if I was okay, but I brushed both the question and his hand off.
“What do you care? Also, boyfriend? I thought you made it abundantly clear I wasn’t your boyfriend. I’m not your anything.”
“I-I know. I’m—” he started.
“An idiot? A jerk? A liar? Take your pick,” I cut in before he could continue.
“Kyle, please,” he said and took my hand in his. In front of everyone. Not that many people were paying attention to us. Most people were watching the stage as the opening act sang their last song.
“I’m trying to apologize here. I’m sorry,” he said.
“Okay. And?” I pulled my hand away from him and looked around. “Do you want to ruin my friendship with Nathan again?”
I decided to focus on the fact that he was touching me when Nathan was around. Not on the fact that he was touching me in public, in his town, in his bar, and saying he was sorry.
“I made a mistake. I thought I had to push you away to make Nathan happy, but I was wrong,” he said taking my hand in his. Again.
“What does it matter now, anyway? What’s done is done.”
“I’m trying to tell you I love you. I’m trying to tell you I need you in my life. I’m trying to tell you I can’t live without you,” he said, his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, staring at me and only me.
“I don’t believe you,” I said and pulled my hand away. Again. Even though his skin on mine made me feel on fire. In a good way.
“I made a big mistake. I didn’t mean any of those things I said that night,” he said.
“What about Nathan? Did you forget about your son?”
“Nate-Nathan told me to come get you,” he said.
Had I gone into an alternate reality where nothing made sense and the world had gone upside down?
“So it took your son to convince you to come and apologize to me? Jesus, Andy. What do you want? You want me to forgive you for lying to me? You want me to forgive you for misleading me? Fine. I forgive you. There! Now go back to your miserable life and leave me the fuck alone.”
“I don’t just want your forgiveness, Kyle. I want-need you back,” he said.
“You think I believe you after everything that happened?”
“I mean it,” he said.
“Prove it,” I said and stood there watching him try to find a way to do so.
There was no way for him to prove it. It was a trick challenge. Whatever he did, I wouldn’t believe him.
Even if he looked cute apologizing. Even if he wasn’t afraid to touch me in front of everyone. Even if my heart told me to just let it go and take him back.
“Exactly,” I said and stormed off.
I pushed past people so I could get out of there. So I could get as far away as possible from Andy.
This was a mistake.
Coming here was a big mistake.
Before I could make my escape, a giant white cup collided with me and blocked my path.
“Where are you going, dude?” Nathan asked.
“I’m leaving,” I said.
I was surprised with myself. Despite the tears threatening to come out, I was still keeping it together.
“Wh-why? Did Dad find you?” he asked.
“Yes. He did. Did you ask him to come apologize?”
“I told him to get you back,” he said.
He did? Why? Why would he do that when he’d been so upset with us before?
“Why would you do that?”
He didn’t get a chance to answer. Leo walked on stage and the crowd cheered.
“How’s everyone tonight? Are you feeling spooked?” he said on the microphone, and after a small pause and the crowd cheering, he said, “boo,” and everyone laughed. “How amazing were the Happy Scorpios?”
The crowd cheered for the opening band, and Leo applauded them.
“Now, I think you all know this first song. And I’d like to dedicate it to my handsome man in the crowd.” Everyone turned to look at Dawson who was standing at the end of the bar with Melody next to him.
The music started playing, and Leo smiled and blew a kiss at Dawson.
And while everyone got their phones out to record Leo singing one of One Shot’s most famous songs, Andy walked on stage and whispered something in Leo’s ear.
Leo passed him the microphone and a million things raced through my head on what he was about to announce.
Was there an emergency? Or a fire? Did we need to evacuate? Or were we at capacity?
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said.
Nathan glanced at me and I glanced at him.
I watched Andy search the audience, his cowboy hat casting a dark shadow on his face, and I allowed myself to admit how hot he looked in the costume I’d picked for him.
Boy, I’d have made a great Buzz Lightyear next to him.
But that ship had sailed.
“I’ll let my brother get back to his set in a minute, but before I do, I’d like to say something to a really special someone in the audience. And no, it’s not Dawson Eldred.”
Everyone laughed again. I didn’t.
“What is he doing?” I asked Nathan, but he shrugged.
“You asked me to prove it,” Andy found me in the audience and took his hat off. “So this is me, proving it.”
“Prove what?” a guy shouted.
Andy ignored them and sang the first line o
f “Your Song” on the mic, acapella.
“Oh, shit,” Nathan mumbled beside me. “He can’t sing to save his life.”
I didn’t care.
Instead, I listened to him butcher one of the best songs in the world to express how sorry he was and how wonderful life was with me in it.
But we couldn’t be together. It was wrong. Nathan had forgiven me once. He wouldn’t twice.
“I was an idiot,” Andy said when he finished the first verse and chorus. “An asshole. A liar. I shouldn’t have kept you a secret. I’m sorry. I’m-I’m half a man without you.”
The crowd cooed, and so did Nathan.
“I love you, Kyle Brady. And please. Take me back.”
A few heads turned. Dawson, Melody, Yaya, Nathan. And soon the whole crowd was looking at me.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
I wasn’t sure if I was asking Andy, myself, or everyone else.
“Introducing the man I love to my family and the rest of the world,” Andy replied.
I looked at Nathan, and he pushed me away, toward the stage.
“But Nathan, what about us?” I whispered.
“We’re fine, bro. Now go get your man,” he said.
I stared at him, waiting for him to crack up, shout “gotcha” and laugh in my face, but he didn’t.
He nodded as if to reaffirm his words, and I turned to the stage and the man who’d stolen my heart on it.
It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“I…I love you, too,” I said.
Andy passed the microphone to Leo and jumped off the stage, the crowd clearing his way to me.
His gaze never left mine as he came and stood inches in front of me.
I didn’t know what had changed with Nathan, and I didn’t know where Andy found the courage to do what he just did, but I loved him, and if my best friend gave us his blessing, then no one else’s opinion mattered.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“So you said,” I said.
“I love you.”
“We covered that too.”
“Kiss him, you fool,” Leo shouted on the microphone, and he did.
Andy grabbed me and kissed me, claiming me as his in front of the world.
And all the lies he told me crumbled because they weren’t lies at all. He just needed time to find the courage.