by Stacey Kayne
“According to Marshal Darby he still has prisoners on the mountain and fallen men to attend to today. Your sheriff’s first priority is to see you sent off safely, of which I’m entirely grateful. I don’t think I’ve seen a more frightening sight than your sheriff out of his mind with worry.”
Lily couldn’t pull her gaze away from Juniper. He wasn’t going with them? Why hadn’t he told her?
Regi’s arm came around her. “Having fretted over you so much yesterday, I appreciate the extra precautions.”
Did he even intend to tell her goodbye?
“I trust your bath and sleeping accommodations were agreeable?” Regi asked.
“Very much.” Juniper had given her everything she’d asked for—and more.
“And your sheriff, was he agreeable, as well?”
“Nothing short of a gentleman.”
“Uh-huh,” Regi said.
She watched Juniper talk to the other men, his expression relaxed, as though he couldn’t care less that he was about to send her off. Dear God, surely he knew how she felt about him.
“Well we might as well head to the coach. The last of our luggage was just loaded. After yesterday, I imagine you’ll be wanting to rid yourself of this place once we return.”
“Certainly not,” she said, startled by Regi’s assumption. “I’m not about to turn my back on them now. In fact, I’m certain we can greatly improve the conditions of our workers. I want to help them.”
“Good God, Lil. Some of those men tried to kill you.”
“And others died trying to help me.” Just as Juniper had told her, the men who’d been shot in that ramshackle cabin had only wanted to provide for their families—they’d been misled, and died with intentions to set it right. “Carrington Industries is going to help this camp.”
Regi held her gaze for a moment. “Are you sure your fondness for the sheriff isn’t influencing this decision?”
“Of course not. I was interested in this company before I knew about Juniper. Being here has given me a new respect for my employees and what they do for our company.”
“Developing a fondness for smelly beasts of labor, are we?”
She flushed at the memory of how callous she’d been toward employees she’d never met. “They’re men, Reginald, with lives and families.”
“You don’t say? What a novel concept.”
“I’m being serious.”
“You’re being human, love. And I have to say, it agrees with you. If you’re going to improve efficiency around here, you may want to start with hiring a new mill manager.”
“Replace Mr. Grimshaw? Why?”
“There’s a good reason why he was of no help to our staff. He’s completely illiterate.”
Lily gaped at him. “How can that be? Are you sure?”
“Quite.”
She glanced again at Juniper. He must know. What else hadn’t he told her? She lifted her skirt and hurried toward the group of men.
“Excuse me,” she said, looking past a cluster of broad shoulders. “Sheriff Barns?”
Surprised by Lily’s sharp tone, Juniper looked away from the high perch of the driver and met her poignant stare. Her green eyes snapped with anger. “Are you all packed up?” he asked, glancing quickly at Reg, who didn’t seem to share her distress.
“The luggage has been taken care of. Can I speak with you?”
Aw, hell. She’d obviously figured out he wouldn’t be joining her in The Grove. Here it came…the accusations of unfulfilled expectations and unspoken promises. He knew he couldn’t avoid this—but he sure as hell wished he could.
“Certainly.” He held his arm out to her. She snatched his elbow with a grip that said she wasn’t letting go until she’d said her piece. He started for the side of a cabin, away from onlookers.
“Five minutes,” Kyle called after them. “We need to get moving.”
Juniper ignored him and led Lily to the back of a cabin.
Her arms were crossed stiffly over the bodice of her gray dress as he turned to face her.
“Jim Grimshaw can’t read?”
That hadn’t been what he was expecting. “No,” he said. “He can’t.”
“Then how can he be in control of this mill?”
“Because he knows this forest and this mill better than most men know the back of their own hand.”
“There’s more to running a mill than knowing the trees and equipment. All the correspondence—”
“Has been done through me or one of the other mill workers.”
“So that’s why he seemed so lost without the sheriff on the day we arrived. This won’t do, not when—”
“Don’t get the wrong impression. Jim runs this place. All I did was read his mail and take some notes.”
“This camp lacks proper documentation. We can’t improve our filing and—”
“That’s got nothing to do with Jim. Honestly, Lily, Jim does a brilliant job. You won’t find a man better suited for organizing your workers and workloads. What he needs is office help. We’re understaffed. And Jim does the work of three foremen.”
“So you’re saying we need to hire an office manager, to take care of the necessary paperwork?”
“That would be my suggestion. Leave Jim to do what he does best—manage the crews and the work.”
Her brow nettled, and Juniper grinned. He wanted to touch, to kiss. Hell, he wanted to lock her up in his cabin and never let her go. He wanted too much, more than he could ever give her.
“Couldn’t he learn to read?” she asked.
Juniper shrugged. “Only if he can find the time. He already works around the clock for this camp. When would he have time for studies? Especially when his free time should go to his family, who don’t see him but once a month or so.”
“But with a new community—”
“Which at the moment is nothing more than an idea you have yet to fully research. Even if it’s a go, the development will likely be a good year away.”
“I know,” she said defensively.
He knew she did. The lady didn’t need anyone to tell her her business. He could just imagine the poor defeated saps who’d tried. God, he was crazy about her.
Her eyes widened, and he realized he wasn’t exactly hiding his open amusement.
“What?” she demanded.
“Nothin’.”
“You’re laughing at me,” she accused.
“I’m not making a sound,” he argued, even as a chuckle began to rise from his chest.
Her expression fell. “Juniper?”
He tucked his fingers into his pant pockets to keep from pulling her into the kiss he sorely wanted. “Sorry. I just love watching you think.”
Her stricken expression crumbled into something far more somber. Hell. He thought she might cry, and figured it might be easier to watch her leave with anger in her eyes rather than tears.
Nothing’s going to make this easier. And he’d hate himself if she left in anger.
“If you have any problems or concerns after you get home, you can always send me a wire. I’ll get it from either location.”
Lily could only nod, her thoughts suddenly not having a thing to do with the company. He was pulling away from her—she sensed it in his tone, his rigid stance. He had filled every empty space in her heart, and he was going to just…send her away? With nothing?
“Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t going with us to The Grove?”
“I wish I could, but I’m needed here. I have men to bring in, families to contact. I’ll be tied up with reports for a good long while.”
She nodded her understanding. He had his job to do. But that didn’t excuse his lack of courtesy by sending her off with no word of his feelings for her. She couldn’t be the only one who’d fallen—he had to feel for her just as deeply. The way he’d made love to her, it was more than just physical desire.
“Will you come to see me in San Francisco?”
He lowered his gaze, and Lily
’s breath stalled, pain stealing into her chest.
“Juniper?”
He glanced up and she saw the truth in his eyes—he didn’t intend to see her again. His breath expelled in a hard sigh.
“I suppose that’s my answer.”
“I’ve got nothing to offer you, Lily. After watching you in action, it’s plain to see that you belong in San Francisco.”
“I see. In other words, you’ve caught a glimpse of my business side and are running for safety.”
“No.”
“What else am I to think?”
“That I have your best interests at heart.”
“Not if you believe that includes a future without you in my life.”
“You deserve better.”
“I deserve to be with the man I love. But only if he loves me in return.”
“Lily. I’m just…you know what I am.”
“Yes,” she said, stepping closer. “A good man.”
He shook his head. “The violence of my past follows me.”
“I’m already a part of your past, Juniper. It’s your future I care about. You wouldn’t have to live in the city. I’d go anywhere, the hills, these mountains. I could—”
“No.”
“I love you.”
Sheer anguish filled his expression.
“You don’t feel the same,” she said, stunned by his reaction.
“Jeez, Lily. Not everything in life is so cut-and-dried!”
“This is. You’re shutting me out, and I won’t have it! Either you care for me or—”
“I do! You know I do. It’s killing me to send you off, to not be the one to—”
“I’ll be fine, as long as I know you’re not shutting me out completely.”
“I can’t see any other way.”
“Because you’re looking back and not forward! Perhaps you need to put down your guns and stop living through your past, waiting for it to resurface! We could do anything, go anywhere.”
He shook his head, fighting the alluring images of a life he’d sell his soul to have. But his soul had already been bartered, violence and bloodshed becoming a part of the life he couldn’t escape. No good woman deserved to be bound to such a life, past or present. It was his past that had brought her here, exposing her to a violence that had nearly gotten her killed.
“I care for you,” he said, aching to kiss her, his need to hold her tearing at his soul. Closing his heart to the pain, he took a step back. “And I…I wish you well.”
Hurt registered across her pretty features as she comprehended his refusal.
“You two about done?” Kyle asked, stepping around the corner. “Daylight’s burning.”
“Give us a minute,” Juniper said through clenched teeth.
“No need.” Tears blurred her vision as she stared up at his hard gaze. He’d said all that needed saying. He wasn’t willing to give them a chance. He didn’t want her in his life.
She turned in a whirl of skirts and hurried toward the carriage, fighting back the burn of tears. Dear God, why hadn’t she seen this coming? He’d warned her. His hesitation had been clear every time they’d been together. And she’d ignored all of it. She’d only been focused on how she felt when she was with him, the love blossoming in her heart—and he hadn’t stopped counting down the days until he’d be rid of her.
How many times had he told her just that? God knows I can’t get you off this mountain fast enough.
She hadn’t fully comprehended the finality of those words. She hadn’t let herself believe he wouldn’t open his heart to her, as she had to him.
“Front carriage,” Kyle said from behind her. He stepped in front of her to open the door and held his hand out to assist her up.
“Thank you,” she said, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, his hand closing over her arm before she could duck inside.
“Splendid.” She was in love with Juniper, and he “wished her well.”
She pulled away from Kyle’s grasp and slammed onto the cushioned seat across from Regi. Her cousin’s eyes widened at the sight of her.
“Oh, dear.”
I tell him I love him, and he wishes me well?
Anger swelled inside her. He’d made her love him, had woven his way into her heart, making her long for more than her life in San Francisco could ever give her. She wanted love.
She would damn well hold him accountable!
“Sweetness?” Reginald said. “Are you all right?”
“Just fine.”
“What of you and your sheriff?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.” The coach rocked forward, and tears again threatened her eyes.
“Did you tell him?”
She drew a deep breath and glanced at Reginald. “Tell him what?”
“The obvious,” he said, sympathy clear in his gaze.
Tears instantly hazed her vision and streaked hotly across her cheeks. “I did.”
“My God, are you crying?”
Lily wiped at her cheeks, but tears continued to flow. “Yes, I’m crying!”
“Sweetness, what did he say?”
“He said he cared about me and he wished me well.”
“Oh, Lily.”
“I told him I loved him, Reginald, and he wished me well.”
“You have known him just over a week, sweetness. This has to be sudden for a man. What was he expected to do?”
To love her back, to want to build a future with her.
“You asked him to stay on and oversee our transitions. He can’t do that from your bedroom in San Francisco. What would you have him do, become your personal bodyguard and follow you around the office all day?”
“Of course not!” she snapped.
“Well then? Your days are filled with nothing but work and you’re hardly one for relinquishing power. Where exactly would you fit him into your life?”
Realizing she didn’t know the answer, she glanced out of the small window at the trees passing by. Surely they could find a compromise between her life and his.
“Love has addled your usually rational mind,” said Regi.
That was likely true. “I didn’t tell him to just drop his duties,” she protested, the hurt inside her refusing to relent. “I asked if he’d come see me.”
“He will.”
Lily wanted to trust the certainty in Regi’s voice, but she couldn’t. “He said otherwise.”
“He’s overwhelmed. We’ve left him with no small task. Pardon me for saying so, love, but you can be quite demanding.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. She hadn’t demanded Juniper love her. Had she?
“Give him some time. You made your offer. Be patient. Wait for him to come to you.”
“And what if he doesn’t?”
“We do what we’ve always done, love.”
“Feed off each other’s misery?”
He laughed and opened the newspaper sitting on the bench beside him. “See there, you’re coming back to your normal self already.”
No, she wasn’t. Juniper Barns had changed her…for the better. He’d given her a gift—a gift that wouldn’t be complete without him.
Chapter Nineteen
T he offices downstairs hummed with activity. At nine o’clock in the morning, Lily was just leaving her private quarters on the third floor. She gripped the oak banister and stepped down onto the carpeted stair, lifting her ivory skirt. She would’ve been down earlier had she not tried on more than a dozen dresses. All of them fit too snugly across the bosom. She needed to go shopping soon, or at least call in a dressmaker.
As she descended to the base of the stairs, her gaze swept across the wide room filled with desks and filing cabinets, men milling about between them—the heart of Carrington Industries. She greeted a chorus of good-mornings as she made her way toward her office. A few months ago she’d have been in her office by 6:00 a.m. and worked until after supper. Yet this was the first time in six weeks she�
�d managed to make it downstairs before ten-thirty.
In spite of her absence, her company hadn’t collapsed. Her staff had easily taken up the slack. Even Regi had stepped up, taking over a number of her projects with surprising zeal and tact.
“Miss Carrington.”
Lily slowed as one of her accountants hurried toward her. Light glinted off his glasses as he rushed past a side window.
“Mr. Allen?” Nicholas Allen she silently noted. “Glad to see you back at the office. I hope your children are feeling better.”
His eyes widened behind his spectacles. She supposed her mention of family was still something new to some of her employees. After meeting with Mr. Dobbs’s widow and his two grown children, she’d realized how very little she knew of her office staff, people she saw on a daily basis and had worked with for years. Her lack of interest had been inexcusable. “Emily told me all of your children had come down with the chicken pox.”
“Yes, and I do apologize—”
“No apology needed. Four children with high fevers and blisters—your Agnes must have been a fright with worry.”
“She was that. All four have faired well, aside from the itching. She’s keeping them in mittens until they heal completely.”
“Mittens in July? The poor dears.”
“I can assure you it is their mother who suffers,” he said with a wry grin. “I thought you’d like to see this.” He held out a spreadsheet. “Pine Ridge is doing well.”
She stared blankly at the page, fighting a sudden rush of sadness. Since their return, Regi had handled all of the Pine Ridge business and negotiations. Just the mention of the lumber camp brought back the sting of Juniper’s rejection. He’d made his feelings crystal clear over the past two and a half months. She’d not heard a word from him.
“That’s wonderful news. Is Reginald in his office?”
“He was earlier this morning. We’ve been working on the housing presentation.”
“I look forward to seeing it.”
“I’ll see you in the downstairs boardroom at one,” he said, walking back to his desk.
Monthly reports, she thought. There’d been a positive vibe throughout the office, and a company overview would cheer her up.
Outside the two oversize offices at the front of the building, her secretary’s desk sat empty. Regi’s door stood slightly ajar. She decided to step in and congratulate him on his progress with Pine Ridge. A new, polished brass plate adorned the wall beside his office, boasting his new title of president. She never would have guessed how readily he’d take to his newfound responsibilities. But then, Regi had never let her down.