by Marie Cole
"Seriously, what did we do? What was that? What...what are we going to do with that?”
Kent turned his head towards me with a smile. "What do you mean?"
"I mean...are you still getting married in three days?"
Kent looked tired, but he had heard her. His head turned upward toward the ceiling. I took that as his answer. I rolled towards him and put my cheek to his chest. "It’s ok...I...understand."
"Elly,” His hand came to my back and started to rub it. "We'll talk about it in the morning. I just,” Kent seemed uncertain.
I pressed a kiss to his chest and then put my cheek back where it was. "Let's get some rest." I wasn't ready to face the rejection just yet. He reached down and pulled the sheet up so we were covered. The last few candles flickered and went out and I finally closed my eyes letting sleep take me.
Chapter 30
I moaned softly as I woke up. The place between my thighs was sore from the encounter I’d had with Kent. I thought briefly that maybe it was dream. I turned over, smiling, expecting to touch his chest. But all I felt was a cold sheet. I opened my eyes and looked around. The door was closed and Kent wasn’t in the room.
I wondered if his mom had come back. I wrapped the sheet around myself and ventured out into the hallway. The house was quiet. I crept downstairs and looked around carefully, I didn’t want to be caught by Kent’s mom wearing just a sheet. I saw no signs of Mike or Paul. I glanced at the clock and groaned, it was almost 10. I ran back upstairs, grabbed my clothes and got in the shower. As I was dressing I heard the door close downstairs. I crept into the hallway carefully, hiding upstairs to eavesdrop.
I heard Kent's mom set purse and keys on the kitchen counter, where there was space, it was still littered with empty beer bottles and half eaten bags of junk food.
I heard Kent say, "Mom, what is it?"
She was silent for awhile, "What are you doing, son?"
"I'm standing in the kitchen and feeling rather full from brunch. What else would I be doing?" He was playing dumb, that was good, maybe. Probably not, his mom wasn’t going to drop it.
"No, darling boy. I meant with Elly.” My breath caught in my throat. “What are you doing? Are you going to be a no-show at the wedding? Because it would be better, as hard as it might be, to end it now instead."
"What are you talking about, mom? You came in on me and Elly sleeping in bed together lots of times." I closed my eyes tightly, fighting back the tears.
"So you aren't sleeping with her?" She sounded surprised, partially relieved.
"Mom, nothing happened." I crept back to the bathroom.
She let out a deep sigh. “Thank god. I thought I was going to have to call everyone and tell them they shouldn't fly in for the wedding." I closed the bathroom door loudly and went down the hallway, wiping at my eyes, refusing to cry. I knew this was probably going to happen. I had hoped it wouldn’t But deep down I knew.
I came downstairs and looked at Kent's mom. "Thanks for letting us use your place last night, Mrs. Lytle. I was hoping to have it cleaned up before you guys got back."
Kent's mom turned and smiled at me, pretending I hadn’t just been the topic of conversation. "That's okay, sweetheart. When I left this morning your mom told me that you two had plans for lunch? You should get going so you're not late."
I nodded, slipped my shoes on, bag in hand. I headed for the front door, calling out to Kent over my shoulder since he couldn't be bothered to acknowledge me. "See you at the wedding, Mr. Groom."
"Thanks, Elly." He yelled back at me.
He was obviously feeling guilty for sleeping with me during his drunken stupor, and I was feeling guilty for falling for it. For expecting more.
* * *
The wedding day had arrived. The weather was unusually warm for New Year’s Eve and all the seats inside the grand ballroom were filled. When it was almost time the wedding planner queued Kent to take his place at the front. From up there he could see everyone's face. Everyone was there. And I was in the middle on his side, Stacy as my plus one at my side. When his eyes locked on me I offered him a little smile and a thumb's up. He offered me a little smile and then turned his gaze on his mom.
When the pipe organ started it caused Kent to jump a little. The videographer, luckily, was pointed at the bridesmaids and groomsmen as they came down the aisle.
Once they were in their places, the flower girl, a young cousin of Jen's, came down. She threw flowers gracefully for the first few rows as the wedding planner had instructed her to do and then sat down next to her mother in the front row.
The wedding march started and Jen appeared at the back of the long aisle. She was beautiful, all eyes were on her, even mine. Stacy leaned over and whispered into my ear but I wasn’t listening to what she’d said, I was too distracted. Jen walked gracefully down the aisle in her Vera Wang dress which was just the right amount of innocence and sex appeal.
One by one the rows of people turned as Jen walked past. She was smiling at her guests until finally she reached the alter. She looked at Kent and took his nervous hands in hers, which were shaking too. She flashed him a smile and let out a little exhale to try to calm her nerves.
Kent let the smile stay as best he could but his stomach was flopping around on his insides, and it was obvious, to me anyway.
I didn't stay for the whole ceremony but I caught most of it. I departed just before “I do.”
There was a slight puffing on the mic as I tapped it softly. I looked out at the crowd and my eyes found Mike who was staring at me dressed in a formal gold evening gown. I didn't even really look like myself because of the makeup and the hair. I had a guitar strapped on me and my band was behind me, the only familiar thing in this uncomfortable wedding hall.
"Good evening everyone. We're here to celebrate the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Jen and Kent Lytle. We're going to start things off right with their wedding song. Kent, Jen...please come on up to the dance floor." I looked at them and motioned to the dance floor and then turned my back to the floor for a moment.
The band wasn’t playing for this one, just me. I softly strummed my guitar as I waited for them to get into position. When Jen's arms went to Kent's shoulders I started crooning “At Last.”
I couldn’t look at the happy couple, arms around each other, it was going to throw me off my gig. The gig I didn’t even really want in the first place. Jen approached me yesterday and asked if I wouldn’t mind playing at the reception because her other band cancelled on her. I focused on the lyrics as I ended the song. I set my guitar down.
"And now for the father-daughter dance." Jen's dad came up and took Jen away from Kent and started to dance when I started singing “When The Stars Go Blue.” The rest of the band joined in for this one. I glanced around the room, catching sight of Kent by the bar, Paul’s friendly hand patting him in congratulations.
The song ended and I waited for the applause before speaking, "And the last dance for the wedding party only. The mother-son dance. I wasn't given a song for this dance so I picked it myself. I hope you like it, Kent and Mrs. Lytle. Please come on out to the dance floor." My eyes stayed mostly on Kent's mom, darting to Kent for a brief second every minute or so.
The beautiful guitar started, the drum cymbals crashed softly and then I started to sing “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” I watched Kent and his mother circling slowly around the dance floor , closing my eyes when I got to the second verse. I didn't want Jen to think I was singing it to him, which I totally was.
The applause filled the room as the song ended. After it died down I spoke again, "Now the bride and groom would like to invite everyone else to join them on the dance floor." We started our pop music set and I was smiling, enjoying watching everyone dance. I was so entranced that I didn’t even notice when Kent and Jen disappeared.
A half an hour and a bottle of water later I took a break from the stage and made my way to the bathroom. I knocked on the door, there was no answer so I knocked on the
door again and jiggled the handle impatiently. I really had to pee!
"Be out in.. a minute. The p-p-punch isn't sitting well..."
I sighed softly and leaned against the wall, crossing my ankles to keep the fluids in.
I heard a grunt in the bathroom and turned my eyes suspiciously to the door. What the hell?
The door opened after another minute and Jen came out, a devilish smile on her made up lips. “Hey, Elly. Sorry about that.”
I tried to hide my frown as I opened the door and I gasped as my eyes met with Kent’s, his hands on his pants.
“Oh, sorry!” I retreated and stood outside the door, waiting for him to vacate.
As I stood there I couldn’t help but replay our night together. He’d had his chance, and he let it slip through his fingers. It had hurt. It still hurt, my heart was still raw. Despite how much I’d changed it wasn’t enough to keep him. He must have really loved Jen. Maybe I wasn’t slutty enough for him. I certainly wouldn’t get on my knees in my wedding dress and give him a blow job at our wedding reception. I couldn’t face him and let him see the hurt on my face. I quickly walked away, there had to be another bathroom somewhere.
The rest of the wedding went rather quickly. I stood at the back of the crowd and watched Jen kiss Kent. And Kent kiss Jen. They kissed an awful lot. They looked as happy as a couple should on their wedding day. I wrapped my arms around myself and forced myself watch the scene before me. I had to tape it to the top of the box that held the romantic Kent memories. He’d had her, he’d had me, and he chose her. That chapter was closed. I needed to move on.
I watched the limo drive away with them in it. And with it went my heart.
Part 2
Epiphany
Late Spring, 2002
Chapter 31
I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to tonight - the food was going to be wonderful but Jen’s birthday dinners were always so joyless. She pretended to like the gifts we gave her but she was not very good at it. She’d long since dropped her public face around me. She reserved that for newcomers, acquaintances - tonight she’d be in the presence of unknown company so I was hopeful that we could all be civil and enjoy ourselves a little bit.
Despite everything we’d been through since high school I’d somehow managed to be civil towards her. We were far from BFFs but we did exchange an occasional email every now and again, mostly about Kent..
Several years later I met a terrific guy and we dated for a couple of years. He moved away for work and I stayed behind without him. The relationship with him proved to me that I could love someone despite the trampling my heart had taken in my youth. A year later I met Dave at one of my wedding gigs. He flirted with me shamelessly and because he was so funny, intelligent and charming, I gave in. It probably hadn’t hurt that he was extremely hot.
Tonight marked two months since Dave and I started dating and this was the first time I decided to let him meet any of my friends. If he could survive Jen and Kent, then he could survive anyone.
I inhaled deeply and expelled my breath slowly, letting the tension and anxiety leave me before I stepped out of the cab to greet my uber-handsome date, Dave. I tugged on the bottom of my hot pink hem, pulling it closer to my knees. I flashed Dave a reassuring smile as I took the arm he held out to me. He looked yummy in his sleek dark blue Calvin Klein suit. His crisp white shirt was flashing beneath and matched his perfect, straight, white teeth.
He bent down slightly to whisper against my ear, “You look stunning. Do your panties match your shoes?”
I looked down at my black high heels, scoffed and then laughed softly. I squeezed his bicep and gave him a sideways glance, trying to remain coy, “If you’re a good boy, maybe you’ll find out. So tell me again, who are we meeting for dinner?”
He rubbed his nose into my pulled back hair, kissed the top of my head and then groaned, “Jen and Kent, your two old high school friends.”
I grinned at him and grabbed his tie, pulling him down for a quick kiss.
“That’s right. And what topics are we avoiding tonight?”
His hazel eyes flashed gold as he stared down into mine. He spoke low, his voice sending little flickers through my body, “Kids, and anything involving you.”
I nodded and rewarded him with another kiss, this one a little longer, our lips grazing softly, drawing out into longer kisses. It was interrupted by a man clearing his throat loudly.
I stepped to the side and pulled back when I realized Kent and Jen were standing there staring at us.
Kent was dressed in a suit, he looked handsome but extremely uncomfortable, he kept pulling at his collar. He had a large purple present under his left arm, the silver bow sparkled in the subdued lights of the street.
I pasted on my happy face and hugged Jen. “Happy Birthday, Birthday Girl!” I gave her an extra squeeze and then stepped back.
She smiled softly, it almost reached her eyes, and looked between me and my date. “Thank you. You look great, Elly. Better than I do tonight, don’t you think, Ken?”
She looked at her husband and nudged him to get his papa-bear glare off from Dave.
He didn’t even glance at me, avoided looking at me entirely. Had it been a decade ago I would’ve been offended, but as it was I was used to his avoidance in the presence of others. “No, of course not, Jen. Don’t be silly. You look terrific.”
She did. She looked sophisticated in her split neck knee-length blue dress. I always admired how she always seemed to look so put together. Even if she showed up at Kent’s work after hitting the gym in a t-shirt she would end up looking like an Adidas advertisement. Kent leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek but she pulled back.
“Make-up.” She smiled sweetly to play off the blatant rejection of his affections and then nodded towards the door of the fancy Italian restaurant. “Shall we? Our reservation won’t keep for much longer.”
We walked, single file, into Amici. I felt my shoulders tighten as Dave’s warm hand moved to my lower back. I wasn’t too keen on his constant need to touch a part of my body any time we were in public, which was always because there was something that was niggling me about him. I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
After the waiter departed with our drink orders Jen smiled sweetly to us.
"So, how are you guys doing?,” Kent asked.
I watched as Kent's eyes shifted from me to Dave and then to the silverware on the table. The present was sitting on the table beside Jen, who payed no attention to it.
I spoke up after smiling to Dave, dividing my attention as evenly as I could between my three dinner companions.
"We're good. Dave moved into a those new apartments across from the Town Centre last week. He's on the 15th floor and the view is absolutely amazing..." I paused and took a sip of water, my throat feeling as parched as the desert as I tried to bring some life and cheer to the table.
I felt Dave's eyes on me, and when I glanced at him they seemed to simmer as he watched my lips puckering on the frosty glass.
Jen beamed at us from across the table, "Sounds amazing. We're still over on Bridge Street but you already knew that. Nothing new. I spend all day at home while Ken runs his businesses. It's the life of a rich man’s wife, it seems." Sometime after they got married Jen started dropping the T off of Kent’s name. It forever annoyed me, but I always kept it to myself.
Dave laughed softly, "So, do you sit around and watch TV and eat bon-bons all day? That's what stay-at-home wives do, isn't it?"
I laughed softly at the question and shook my head. I was curious what Jen’s response was going to be and snuck a glance at Kent, catching him smirking briefly.
Kent spoke up first, "Ordering movies on pay-per-view, going shopping, ordering things on the internet…I think that about covers it, wouldn't you say?" His arm was on the back of her chair as he looked at her.
She frowned a little as she reached over and puckered his cheeks between her fingers. "You forgot cooking, my dear. I
make a mean frozen pizza."
Jen winked at Dave and Kent shook his head, his gaze firmly on Jen. "Oh yes, Mr. P's for the win."
Dave gave Kent a once over and shrugged. "Doesn't look like she starves you. How is it having a wife as hot as yours waiting at home for you every night?"
He put his arm around me and tugged me gently against his side. I winced briefly but smiled to cover the discomfort of leaning over the space between our chairs.
"Some day soon I hope I'll have a wife of my own at home." Dave stared down at me and I glanced up to meet his eyes.
He had that look there. A look of longing, of promises. I was starting to feel a bit panicky. I pressed a kiss to his lips and then pulled back.
"It's wonderful. I look forward to it every day when I close up the shop. It’s something everyone should wish for. Elly would make a good wife." Kent leaned over to try to give Jen a kiss on the cheek but stopped. "Right, make-up. Excuse me while I go to the restroom." Kent slid his chair out and stood from the table just as the waiter dropped off our drinks.
I watched Kent briefly as he stood up from the table before turning my attention back to Jen.
"What are you and Kent doing this weekend?”
"Well, Kent has his third shop opening next Saturday so he'll probably be there all weekend to get things set and do the training. So I guess that means I'm free!" She grinned at both of us, looking expectantly.
I looked between Jen and Dave and put my hand on Dave's knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm busy Saturday too. Booked for two weddings."
Dave sighed, "Right, I forgot. I'll miss you." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
I felt my cheeks color and smiled at Jen. "You're not going to the store opening?"
She shook her head. "What's there for me? Computer nerds ogling my goods and women hitting on Ken who don't deserve his attention? No, I'll keep my jealousy to myself, thanks." Jen laughed softly as my fists clenched together tightly under the table as she left the ‘T’ off his name.