His dark brown eyes meet mine. “Hey there,” he says with an infectious grin.
I try not to feel too excited over his sudden appearance, and I fail miserably when I try to prevent an answering smile from forming on my lips. “Hey back,” I reply.
“You going to the game?” he asks with interest.
I don’t want to come off looking like I’m crushing on him, so I turn back to my locker and reach for the text book I had been about to grab. He wants me to go to a football game? No thanks. “Nope,” I tell him.
One thing I refuse to do is pretend interest in something just to keep a guy’s attention. I’m not good at pretending stuff like that, and the one time I’d tried it, I’d ended up looking like a fool. Ever since that embarrassing fiasco, I make it very clear that what you see is what you get.
“There’s a party a few blocks down from your aunt’s tonight. Think you’ll go?” he asks.
I glance at him, and I like the way his dark eyes are focused so intently on me. “Maybe.”
He nods as if my answer pleases him. “Maybe I’ll see you there.” He pushes off from the locker he’d been leaning against and disappears into the crowd.
My earlier smile returns as I close my locker door. A party tonight is just what I need. There’s too much tension at Catherine’s house, and I need to find a way to ease the stress I’ve been dealing with since moving here.
~*~
The party Blake had mentioned is easy to find, and it’s packed and loud. There’s plenty of people my age or older dancing in a crowded living room as they work towards getting drunk or high off drugs. I don’t mind alcohol, but I won’t touch anything drug related. After witnessing firsthand my mother’s addiction to drugs, I won’t go near them.
I recognize plenty of students from the school, and I join the crowd and dance as I sip from a plastic cup. The party isn’t too bad, and I dance with a few cute guys here and there. I’m betting any one of them would be willing to go somewhere private to have sex, and if it weren’t for Blake being the one to suggest I come, I’d probably give into temptation and take off with one of them. It’s been too long since I’ve been with anyone, and even though Catherine’s accusations still sting, I can’t change who I am and what I want or need. Sex makes me feel better, and if I’m going to become addicted to something, I’d rather it be that than drugs. Drugs make you stupid, at least sex I can control.
My thoughts shift back to Blake as I allow a guy to grind into me from behind as we dance. Blake has a girlfriend, so I’m not expecting him to search me out or anything, but yet I am hoping to see him—even if it’s from across the crowded room. I don’t know why I feel so drawn to him. Is it because I’m so attracted to him that I can’t help myself from wanting to know what it’s like to be with him? If we did screw, would my fascination with him fade? Or am I growing increasingly interested because I know I can’t have him? I think he’s the first guy with a girlfriend that I’ve made it a point not to try to seduce.
An hour later, I’m about to give up on watching for Blake when I spy him walking through the crowd towards me. My eyes widen slightly, because I hadn’t actually expected him to approach me, not with him having a girlfriend. Or is he one of those guys? That’s kind of disappointing.
Now I’m confused.
If he’s the type to cheat on his girlfriend, all the better for me, right? I should have nothing to feel guilty over since he’s not the faithful type anyway. Why in the world would I be disappointed when I’d have a chance to experience being in his arms? Why would his cheating bother me?
I realize it’s because I still believe there are good guys out there that respect their girlfriends. Would anyone ever respect me? Lord knows that I haven’t really given anyone a reason to.
My disturbing thoughts disappear the second Blake pauses in front of me, his dark eyes holding mine captive. Without a word, he draws me into his arms to dance, and I’m caught completely off guard. He wants to dance with me? In front of everyone here? Most cheaters sneak around; they don’t cheat in plain sight of those that could tell their girlfriends they’d been fooling around with someone else.
Blake doesn’t appear to care, so I decide not to worry over it. I allow his hands to rest on my hips, and I move closer to him, inhaling the scent of his cologne. There’s just something about him that makes me think of sunny days and optimism. Is that weird? Maybe it’s because he has light hair and a great tan that makes me think of summer and the beach—not that I’ve been to a beach in my lifetime, but I’m betting it’s beautiful and exhilarating to stand at the edge of the ocean. Between his golden boy looks and that killer smile, I feel drawn to his charm and charisma. I don’t know how else to describe what I feel when I’m around him. I know part of it is lust, but there’s just something about him that pulls me in. I’m so used to being in the dark that I’m drawn to how easy-going and carefree he seems to be. Usually, when I’m attracted to a guy, it’s just physical, but Blake is different.
Our lower bodies brush, and my heart skips a beat as we instinctively move closer together. As our bodies move suggestively in a seductive grind, I gaze up at him, trying to figure out where this is going to lead tonight. His eyes are intense, and his attraction to me is betrayed within their depths. His hands bring my hips to a halt, pressing me into him, and I can feel his hardness.
I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation of his firm chest pressed against my breasts. I know that if I were to slip off his shirt, I’d find a well-defined chest and abs. Blake draws in a deep breath against me; then his hands slide up to my waist. He gently eases me away from him.
The physical distance he’s just put between us has me abruptly coming back to reality. We’d been doing a grind, and I’m astounded that his girlfriend hasn’t shown up to yank Blake away from me. My eyes shift, and as I peer around the crowd, I note plenty of eyes watching us with avid interest. In fact, Blake’s friends are standing on the other side of the room, watching us. They’re all guys that I’ve seen at school, and most of them are smirking, but one is frowning with disapproval.
Camilla is nowhere in sight.
Blake leans closer to me. “Want to get out of here?”
All my attention shifts back to him, and my heart flutters in my chest at the thought of having sex with him. I want him so badly, and I nod.
He doesn’t touch me as he escorts me out of the party, but I am aware of the looks we receive. Well, if Camilla wasn’t aware that her boyfriend’s a cheater, she will be. I can’t bring myself to care at this point. I’ll worry about the consequences of my actions on Monday.
We both are silent as we walk a block to his car, and then he politely opens the passenger door for me, and I climb in. A moment later, we’re pulling away from the curb, and Blake is turning on the stereo.
I don’t mind the music, and I relax into the seat, fully aware of him next to me. The way that I’m reacting to Blake is new to me, and the intensity should scare me, but I push aside any concerns. Tonight, I just want to have fun and forget all my problems.
When we pull into the parking lot at a late-night diner and find a parking space, I straighten in my seat with bewilderment. What are we doing? I turn to ask Blake, but he’s already climbing out of the car and firmly shutting the door.
I have no clue what’s going on, so I quickly scramble out of the car before he can open my door for me. I want to share my confusion with him, but I don’t want to look like a fool for assuming…
Dang.
This is the first time a guy has taken me out to eat first.
Blake flashes me a lopsided smile, completely oblivious to my thoughts. He leads me into the diner, and we snag a booth in the very back. I’m uncomfortable, so I try to hide it by looking around. The diner is small but has a nice, welcoming feel to it. The walls are a warm burgundy, and all the tables in the front area are wooden with plush seats. Country-themed chandeliers hang above the tables, and the row of booths are situated along a wall that
has windows from one end to the other. The window we sit next to overlooks the parking lot, and since the diner isn’t busy, we have the back area to ourselves. I find myself relaxing as my earlier discomfort eases.
Blake picks up a menu. “I’m starving. All I could think about was eating a couple of burgers and fries.” His eyes meet mine, and amusement lurks in their depths. “Besides dancing with you, of course. You had me quite distracted.”
Evidently not distracted enough if he’s choosing food over sex, I think dryly.
Blake motions to the menu resting on the table in front of me. “Pick something out, I’m not going to eat in front of you.”
I’m not hungry since I’m accustomed to small meals during the day, but I’m guessing that he’ll insist I order something. After I’ve scanned the menu, a waitress arrives, and Blake orders two burgers, extra fries, and a large soda. I politely order a small basket of fries.
After the waitress walks away with our order, Blake frowns at me. “That’s all you want?” he asks.
“I ate earlier.”
He picks up his water and takes a drink. After he sets the glass back down, he relaxes in his seat and turns all his attention on me. “You’re not going to ask how the game went?”
“Do you want me to?” I ask. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of guy he is, and I’m really hoping he isn’t your average jock that likes to brag about how good he is at sports.
I watch him closely, but for some reason, my question pleases him. “Nope,” he says easily. “I like that you don’t care. So, you meet anyone here yet?” he asks, switching the topic.
“Not really. I’m not a good socializer,” I confess. He has no idea that just sitting across from him in a restaurant is a first for me. I still can’t figure out if I like that he’d brought me here to eat and talk first, or if I’m disappointed because I wasn’t tempting enough to sleep with immediately.
Blake’s eyes dance with bemusement. “So I noticed. Where you from?”
“Illinois.”
“And you live with your aunt?”
“Yes.” I don’t want him to ask any further questions about her, so I quickly ask, “Have you lived here all your life?” Needing something to do, I pick up my glass of water and take a sip. My throat is a little dry from the party, and the coolness of the water feels good on it.
“Yeah.” He looks at me, his earlier amusement fading. “I actually envy you.”
His comment takes me by surprise. “You do?”
“You have no past here, no expectations. You’re just a mystery, and it’s up to you to share what you want anyone to know. It’d be nice to have a clean slate; you know what I mean?”
I’m too busy staring at him to say anything. No one’s ever been envious of me before.
Blake studies me. “You’re strangely easy to talk to. Maybe it’s because you don’t say much.”
I still don’t know what to say. Making casual conversation has never come easy for me, and I’m used to fading into the background unless I’m looking for a good time. I still can’t believe that I am even sitting here with the school’s star quarterback, and I want to pinch myself to check if this is actually real.
Blake clears his throat, looking awkward now as he picks up a small packet of sugar and begins to turn it around and around between his fingers. I think my silence has made him self-conscious, and I’m not sure how to ease it.
Our meal arrives much faster than I’d thought that it would, and I watch as our waitress sets a huge plate filled with two large burgers and a pile of fries in front of Blake. An extra basket of fries is placed beside his plate, and then the other basket is set in front of me. The small basket I’d requested is much bigger than I’d anticipated. After the waitress sets down our glasses of soda, she cheerfully tells us to enjoy our meal, and then we’re alone once again.
I reach for the salt and sprinkle some onto my fries. “That was quick,” I murmur.
“That’s why I love this place, they give a whole new meaning to ‘fast food’ when it’s the good stuff.” He takes a big bite of his burger, and I swear his eyes nearly roll.
I bite back a smile, because he wasn’t kidding when he’d said that he was hungry. While he demolishes his burgers, I pick at my fries. When Blake is finished, he pushes aside his empty plate and takes a drink of his soda. Then he sets down his glass and reaches out, plucking a fry out of my basket. “Need some help?” he teases when he notices that I’m not really eating them.
I laugh and push the basket to him. “They’re all yours.”
He digs into them with enthusiasm and flashes me a sheepish look. “I’m always starving after a game. I should have grabbed something to eat earlier, but I wanted to get to the party.”
A little part of me wonders if he’d put off eating so that he could see me, but I try to tame those thoughts. I’m still surprised that Camilla hasn’t tracked him down yet.
We hear the distinct sound of a phone vibrating, and Blake wipes his hands on a napkin before pulling out his cell phone. He glances at the screen, his expression unreadable as he shuts the phone off and slips it back in his jeans pocket.
Now I really can’t resist. “Fighting with your girlfriend?” I inquire lightly.
His brow creases briefly, and then his expression smooths out. “Ah, you probably haven’t heard yet. I broke up with Camilla after school today.”
“Oh.” I’m extremely pleased to hear this, but I try to keep my satisfaction to myself.
Blake runs a hand over his face, messing up the blond hair that hovers across his forehead. “I’ve been trying to end things with her for the past several months, but today happened to be my breaking point. I just can’t deal with her and all that shit anymore. I need room to breathe, you know?”
I nod but have no clue what he’s referring to when he’d said today was his breaking point. I hadn’t heard anything about the two of them having problems. I’d seen them arguing a few times, but I hadn’t guessed that they were on the verge of a breakup.
Blake’s eyes hold mine as he elaborates. “I felt like I was suffocating.”
Now that feeling I am very familiar with. “I know the feeling,” I murmur.
“You do?”
I’ve said too much, but I have to answer him, or I’ll look like I was saying it out of sympathy. I drop my eyes and steal a fry, though I’m not hungry. “It’s suffocating being caught up in a situation that you can’t get out of,” I say, thinking of Catherine.
“Exactly,” Blake says, and I can hear a hint of relief in his tone that I understand what he’d been trying to share with me.
We both are quiet now, and I don’t think he’d expected the conversation to go as deep as it had. I know I hadn’t.
“Ready?” Blake asks when he sees that I’m no longer interested in the few fries that are left in the basket.
“Yes, thank you.”
Blake pays for our meal, and then we walk out to the parking lot and get into his car. I wonder if he’s going to take me somewhere so we can enjoy each other. I soon learn that he’s taking me home as he drives down the familiar streets towards Decauter. Does he think that I’m going to invite him in? I’m thinking that wouldn’t be a good idea, especially if Catherine came home unexpectedly. We could just park somewhere in his car…
We reach Decauter Street, and he turns onto it, cruising towards the end where Catherine’s house is located. “Park at the very end, at the corner. Please,” I add lightly.
“The corner? Why?”
“The corner’s better.” I’m no longer using the front door if I can help it, and my window is unlocked.
Blake parks the Camaro at the corner as I’d requested, and he turns off the engine.
Should I invite him in anyway? I’m certain Catherine is working. As long as he’s gone by the time she comes home, she’ll never know. I peer at him in the shadows, throwing caution to the wind. “Do you want to come in?”
“As much as I want
to, I think I’m going to pass.”
I hadn’t expected him to turn me down, and I’m stunned until embarrassment takes over. “Okay, thanks for the ride,” I say as casually as I can. Then, I calmly open the passenger door and climb out. When I see that Blake is getting out as well, I look at him with surprise. “What are you doing?”
He closes the Camaro door, his eyes meeting mine. “Walking you to your door,” he says simply.
This is unexpected, and we’re both quiet as we walk down the sidewalk towards the darkened house. Then it sinks in that he’s likely going to ask why I’m not using the front door.
I pause on the sidewalk and peer up at him. “You really don’t have to walk me to the door. This is fine.”
“It’s late and dark out. I’m going to make sure you get inside safely.”
Without much choice in the matter, I begin leading him across the lawn towards the back of the house. My heart warms at his insistence. His manners are impeccable, and I don’t think anyone has ever treated me so respectfully.
“Why are we sneaking around? This is your home, isn’t it?” Blake asks from beside me as we walk.
“I left my window unlocked, so that’s my door,” I explain. We approach the corner of the house, and I walk over to the window that faces the backyard.
“You use your window?” Blake asks, and in the darkness, I can hear the frown in his voice.
“My aunt and I don’t really get along.”
“You sure it’s unlocked? I’d hate to leave you and then learn that you were locked out for hours.”
“It’s unlocked.” I reach out and pull the window up an inch.
“So it is.”
I turn and look up at him. “Goodnight. Thanks for the fries.”
Blake steps closer to me, and his strong body backs me up against the house. “Am I wrong to want to kiss you senseless?” he asks as his voice drops to an intimate level.
Shameless (Loving Fallon Book 1) Page 4