by Cameron Jace
I was amazed when Faustina accepted the job. It didn’t sound like her at all. I guess it was the large paycheck I promised her. But sometimes, I get the feeling she admired me after the games and wanted to be closer to me. It’s just a feeling and I could be wrong.
“Nice show, Decca,” Faustina cheers. “Everyone is extra happy. The viewers, Xitler, and the Monsters.”
“Yeah. I am all for being a crowd-pleaser,” I chew on the words. “I am like a Zenergizer Rabbit playing the drum for everyone’s pleasure. Still, no purpose for its existence whatsoever,” Sorry Leo, it’s Energizer, I know.
“Wow,” Faustina says. “What’s with the attitude? You’ve done an amazing job. Don’t be hard on yourself. I heard you cornered Vern in a crazy situation. He just called me, telling me that he is being taunted by your fans for driving your car. They thought he stole it.”
“He said he wanted to get a girlfriend, and he said chicks always dig the car. Chicks always dig the car, right?”
“Chicks like me dig the car,” Faustina says. “Superheroes like you don’t need to dig a car. You can get any boy you want,” Wow. Who would have thought Faustina would be saying that to me? “And Vern doesn’t need a girlfriend. He needs a screen-saver of a girlfriend so she pops up only when he is taking a break from his video games. I was thinking I should get him a pillow with happy eyes and smile sewn onto it for his birthday so he hugs it to sleep every night.” Faustina could still be cruel to those with lower ranks. Some things never change.
“Enough with Vern. Did you transfer the money to the Playa?” I ask.
Part of my deal with the Summit obliges them to take twenty percent of the I Am A Ten episodes’ profit and spend it on the Playa where the Monsters now live. It was an add-on for the Monsters, or else how could they have survived being trapped in the Playa? Even though we had all agreed on the deal, I still wondered why we couldn’t get the dumb world to understand that no one should be labeled a Monster. The best we could do was to persuade them that they didn’t have to kill the Monsters, but that keeping the Monsters away from the rest of the population was good enough. Now the Monsters live in their own little neighborhood, and I play Ten to get them the supplies they need, until further notice. It never registers with the people of Faya that the one who is a Ten was once a Monster. Want to talk to me about flawed human logic? Visit us at Faya.
“All done,” Faustina replies. “Woo wanted certain supplies this time. We bought everything he needed, and the tanks are on their way to the Playa.”
“That’s a relief.” I sigh. Woo has been picky about the supplies lately. It is no secret that he has no intentions of stopping the revolution, even though Xitler has him imprisoned in the Playa. We’re all playing peace here, knowing that this is only the calm before the storm. I know it’s not the best of deals but there was no other solution at the time. Part of the Summit’s belief in me being a Ten was based on my choice. If I had chosen to stay a Monster, trapped in the Playa and waiting for the 11th Monster Show, Xitler would have never thought of me as a prodigy and the Monster Show would have been still going on until he found his Ten, and we probably would have been killed by his soldiers.
“Remember, you’ve got a meeting in two hours with Zoozle Inc. They want to discuss a new endorsement project with you.” Faustina says.
“Please no, Faustina,” I reply. “You know I hate that stuff. You do what you see best and pays handsomely. Alright?”
“I could do that,” Faustina says. “And how about the flowers filling the office here?”
“Flowers? Again?” I wondered, steering the wheel to the left.
“Your secret admirer, you know? The one who always sends tons of Deccadia flowers to the office after every game you win?” Deccadia flowers were originally known as Plassifora flowers, but then the Summit named it after me to create another new product that sells like crazy in Faya. The only difference is that Plassiflora was a natural flower. Deccadia is genetically manipulated to smell like a combination of many other flowers.
“Oh?” I smile. The flowers had been an amazing gesture for some time. “I’d say take care of those flowers. Don’t let them die.”
“I knew you’d say that,” Faustina laughs. “After all, we all know who your secret admirer is.”
“No again? Faustina. Please.”
“It’s Leo, Decca,” Faustina kinda blames me. “We all know it’s Leo. Remember him? That gorgeous boy you dumped after the games?”
“Come on. It’s not him, Faustina. And you know I didn’t dump him. What happened in the game was a little weird. Now we’re back to real life and this insta-love doesn’t work out anymore.” I ramble on, not sure if I am telling the truth.
“It is Leo. And you dumped him for that Woo,” Faustina sounds really pissed. Sometimes, I want to tell her she can have Leo if she wants to – Sam, her Nine bully boyfriend, dumped her after she was downgraded to an Eight. He even tried to hurt her. Sam’s bullying habits have increased dramatically lately. But I know Leo isn’t interested in Faustina. “What’s it you like in this Woo of yours? I really can’t understand that.” Faustina follows.
I look at my reflection in the mirror, wondering the same. I know what I used to like about Woo before he entered the games, the way he took care of me and would have fought the world for me. He practically saved my life in the past. But right now, after he has changed into another person, I really don’t know what still attracts me to him. It’s as if I am bonded with him. When I see him I can’t take my eyes off him. My heart longs for being just close to him. I dream of him and I just can’t let go.
“By the way, Decca,” Faustina changes the subject and kills the uncomfortable silence on the phone. “Don’t forget your checkup with Dr. Hoor.”
“Of course. It’s on my schedule.” I say, taking another left on the road toward Dr. Dave Hoor’s clinic. It’s mandatory that I check in with him after every episode because of the Clarine liquid I use. It’s never been tried before until I was declared a Ten. Other than the fact that I feel a stinging burning upon application, there seem to be some side effects, like when I didn’t remember where I was at the beginning of today’s episode. A recurring lapse of memory and disorientation is also one of the symptoms. It also affects my vision for a while sometimes.
I have become Faya’s experimentation doll, not really knowing which side I am on, and who I really am.
“And how is your wound?” Faustina asks.
“Wound?” I wonder.
“Yeah. The wound you got from the oxygen tank.”
“What are you talking about? I am perfectly ok.”
“Decca,” Faustina sounds serious. “I can see you bleeding from my iAm’s camera already. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel that wound?”
Faustina’s voice hits me like an electric surge, strong enough to stop the car in the middle of the road. I check my arm and see the wound she is talking about. No, this is not the one caused a year ago when facing Carnivore. This is a fresh one, and I am bleeding badly. In fact, my driver’s sear is smeared with blood that has been dripping for a while.
How long have I been bleeding? And how come I don’t feel anything? I am totally numb to this wound. What I see and how I feel doesn’t match at all. Is that me becoming superhuman?
“I am superhuman, you know,” I tell Faustina in the iAm, trying to sound casual about it. “It did hurt a little but you know I can take it.”
“Decca, be honest with me,” Faustina says. “If you haven’t been able to feel the wound that would be a problem.”
“I am totally alright. Don’t worry. I have almost reached Dr. Hoor’s clinic. I am sure he will agree that nothing is wrong. I am just becoming stronger,” I can’t confess that I am numb to the wound. I am a Ten. I am expected to be almost superhuman. Being numb to pain will damage the ClairVo sensors and I won’t be able to transmit my feelings to the audience. If that happens, I won’t be able to perform the shows
and save the Monsters. I have to keep this a secret for now.
I hang up.
As I drive to Dr. Hoor’s clinic, I notice the numbness has spread to my right arm. The radio is playing, ‘Comfortably Numb’ by Pink Floyd. I slam my hand against the wheel several times and don’t feel a thing. The numbness is spreading to the rest of my body. Is that what a Ten feels like?
3
Check Up
“You’ll be fine for now,” says Hoor. He is twenty-four years old, married, with fair blonde hair and a well-built body. A perfect Eight. Even though I have a consulate of doctors looking after me, the Summit has Dr. Hoor assigned specifically for me. “But we’ll need to look into the matter closely in the coming days.”
“I can’t imagine I didn’t feel that Dave,” I say, preferring to call him by his first name. I rub my bandaged arm, relieved that the numbness is wearing off. “And it’s not the first time. Two episodes ago I was wounded in my left leg and didn’t feel anything.”
“I know,” He nods. “I was there, remember?” Dave eyes me, making sure that this was just a slip of a tongue. Of course, he knows. He does his check up on me after every game. I just can’t bring myself to tell him about the little amnesiac episodes I get after I use the Clarine. Somehow, whatever happens to me doesn’t matter because I think of the Monsters first. “The blood and tissues samples I took from you will tell us everything,” Dave says calmly, tilting my head so he can examine the Clarine fluid in my eyes. “Just don’t put too much thought into it. You’re our only Ten. We can’t live without you.” He smiles.
“Do you think I’ve become superhuman?” I muse.
“Like Scooby Doo?” He says, using a flashy device in my eyes. It almost blinds me but I have to open my eyes so he can clean it from the Clarine’s sticky liquid.
“Scooby was a super doggy, Dave. Not superhuman. He wasn’t actually human in the first place.”
“You’re right about that. I mentioned Scooby because I like that even though he can solve mysteries and people love to watch him, he has his flaws, and he accepts that,” He raises an eyebrow, making his silly but a kind-hearted joke.
“Hmm,” I feel better, now that the gold-colored Clarine is sucked out of my eyes. “Are you trying to say even though I am a Ten, I have my flaws?”
“I am saying we all come with our flaws, and that’s what makes us human, Decca. You don’t seem to understand that since you’ve become a Ten.”
“I never said I was perfect. I was just given the perfect number.”
“But you insist on pretending to be flawless,” Dave says. “You insist on giving Faya what they want by pretending to be stronger than you are, by doing things a seventeen-year-old shouldn’t, by taking the weight of helping the Monsters on your shoulders. You can’t even surrender to loving the boy everyone thinks you should be with.”
I know Dave means Leo. He is the second person today to remind me of Leo, but I don’t mind that. I need someone to talk to. Doctors are usually safe to talk to. They see you naked, know everything about you, and see things inside your guts you have never seen. Dave is alright. I have no friends to talk to now. Standing on top of the mountain feels so lonely, even when all eyes are craned up looking at you. I never knew I could be lonely within a crowd before I became a Ten. “You mean Leo?” I play as if I don’t know.
“Everybody knows you broke up,” Dave says.
“Everybody assumes we were together in the first place.” I bow forward a little, daring his eyes.
“What happened in the Playa a year ago was more than enough, Decca. You fought a one-eyed tiger to save the guy for goodness sake.” Whenever I hear someone say, ‘for goodness sake’ in Faya, I instantly know they are secretly questioning the system, because everyone else usually says, ‘in the name of the Burning Man’.
“It’s complicated, Dave. Leo and I were on the verge of dying. This relationship was based on survival more than anything else.” I explain.
“And what is love but two people deciding to survive the world together?” I think Dave should abandon his job and become a preacher or poet, but I know he cares for me.
“The thing is that I thought I fought Carnivore in exchange for saving Leo, but the truth is that I did it because of Woo,” I watch Dave’s disappointment. That’s Dave, who usually never takes sides, favoring Leo this time. It sometimes irks me that Leo has the approval of everyone I meet, even boys. Maybe that is why I sympathize with Woo more. Whatever he does, he is considered a black sheep by ranked Fayans, like I‘ve always been. “Don’t look at me that way. Who do you think I risked my rank and entered the games for? It was Woo. Always Woo.”
“The guy is a mess, Decca,” Dave says in his nonjudgmental tone. He checks my pulse and looks for any other wounds in my body. “I know he is the Monsters’ leader, but whenever he shows up on TV no one loves him. He is aggressive and looks like he has childhood issues.” Dave says this from his Fayan superficial point of view. Even good people in Faya still judge people from their outside looks and ranks. It still confuses me how they never, ever, mention that I was once a Monster.
“He’s been through a lot, and the Monsters adore him—“
“Does he even have parents?” Dave asks.
“His mom died bringing him to the world, and he has a dad he hates. Actually, his dad is a mystery to me. Even though I spent my childhood with him, I have never met his dad.”
“How long before the game did you apply the Clarine?” He sounds serious all of a sudden, abandoning the previous conversation.
“About two hours ago. Why? What’s wrong?”
“The color of your eyes is still the color of Gold. Even after I sucked the fluid out. It’s one of the Clarine’s undesired effects.”
“So?”
“The liquid seems to stick longer than desired to your eyes. Thus, your nervous system. It could be caused by the audience’s intensity. When they watch through your eyes, it’s not just you affecting them. Their tension is affecting your eyes as well.”
“Should I worry?”
“I don’t know. It might be that we need to decrease the Clarine’s doze, or limit the number of viewers watching through your eyes per episode.”
“We can’t limit the viewers,” I say abruptly. “You know that this will anger the Summit, and I need them to pay for the Monsters’ supplies.”
“And your eyes?” Dave wonders. “Your eyes don’t belong to the Summit or to the Monsters, Decca. You’ve done more than one girl can provide.”
“At least, we don’t want to stir such problems before the next Ranking Day. It will be the first time since the game was canceled. I don’t want the Summit to change their mind about it because I might not be able to provide another ten TV episodes next year.”
“OK,” Dave pats my hand gently. “Just for now. But you know that sooner or later, they’ll have to find someone else. I don’t think your human physique could tolerate the Clarine’s effect forever. They should find someone else. You can’t do all of the episodes.”
“So what’s the treatment? There must be a treatment, right?”
“How can I know? We have never tried the Clarine on anyone else before. You’re the first person in the world to substitute the ClairVo with Clarine.”
“Don’t you guys test these things on others before you put it out on the market?”
“No. Who would we test it on? No one has your eyes, Decca. When we call you the Girl with Golden Eyes, we mean it. Your eyes send signals through your body to the ClairVo in a way we have never seen before. You’re one of a kind.”
I am tired of hearing this. I don’t want to be one of a kind. “Are you telling me that there are no other people who could use the Clarine effectively?”
“There are, but none of them are Tens.”
“How about Nines and Eights?”
“Why would Nines or Eights want to be injected with Clarine? What’s the use? Why would they e
nter deadly TV shows when they have everything they want in life being in their rank? They are living happily and they don’t feel the need to bargain with the Summit for the Monsters like you do.”
“Are you saying that me being a Ten is a curse?”
Dave says nothing.
“And how about Fives and Sixes, they would love to become celebrities, playing deadly games on TV. Right?”
“But the Summit wouldn’t want them to. Why give hope to all Fives in Faya, making them believe they could become stars? There is a pecking order to our society, and it can’t be compromised. This would be like saying that the iAm system is all wrong.”
“So what now?”
“When is your next episode scheduled?”
“About a month from now.”
“I think that’s long enough to know what’s wrong with you. I will postpone my report to the Summit under one condition. That you visit me, taking blood analysis tests every three days, so I can see if this is getting worse. I will count on my physician’s instinct to judge when this becomes so dangerous that I have to report it.”
“Thank you very much,” I sigh. “I have to keep the TV show running. I am the only Ten.”
“Yeah, I forgot. You still insist on pretending you’re a god in Faya. We’ve talked about that, but how many times did the worshippers wear out their own god?”
“Don’t go philosophical with me, please. I am from Faya.”
“I’m not. In regular circumstances, I should advise you to take three months off from the episodes. But since I know that the Clarine doesn’t work with anyone else but you, I will wait for a little while.”
“I heard there are other people the Clarine works well for other people’s eyes though.” I wonder.
“That’s true. In fact, they are many, but they are no Tens. If they are Nines and Eights, they wouldn’t risk their lives doing this. Also, the viewers want you, Decca. Can’t you see how crazy they are about you since you killed Carnivore.”