by Jill Sanders
She closed her eyes and wished more than anything that she hadn’t been the one to wreck her life. It was her scheming that had backfired. She hadn’t seen this coming at all.
She frowned and thought of Billy. Closing her eyes, she tried to get his face out of her mind. Reaching for her cigarettes, she closed her fingers over the pack and gasped. Her hand moved away from the desired package. Her eyes moved to the full-length mirror again and she sat down on the edge of her bed. She felt like crying. Her life was over. She repeated it over and over in her mind.
Everything she’d worked so hard for in the last ten years was gone. Here she was in her mid-twenties and she’d screwed everything up herself.
She had no real education. No job. Nothing. Leaning back on her bed, she sighed and wished for a do-over. Just one night. Less than a month ago, on a cool spring night.
Just then, her cell rang. Reaching over without opening her eyes, she answered it.
“Hey, are you going to tell me?” He sounded worried.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Yes, you’re going to tell me? Or yes, yes?”
“Yes,” she repeated.
The line was quiet. “I’m coming over,” he said quickly.
“No.” She opened her eyes and sat up.
“Why?”
“I…” She had no real excuses to give.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said and hung up.
What had she done? She looked down at her new iPhone and felt like throwing it. What had she done? She set her phone down and closed her eyes again and felt a wave of sickness rush through her. When she opened her eyes again, she felt the room spin and had to rush to her bathroom and get sick.
By the time she’d cleaned up, she heard a light tap on her bedroom window and walked over to let Billy in.
It wasn’t as if she didn’t like him. After all, Billy had been one of the best-looking guys in school. But they’d been out of school for years now, and Billy was like a lot of guys who had stayed in town after school. He worked a dead-end job, drank too much, and ran around with any available girls that weren’t married off.
How had she ever gotten together with him?
She watched him step into her room and sighed. He was impressive. Even though he was a screw up, he was easily better looking than any other man in Fairplay.
His dark hair was a little longer and pushed back away from his chiseled face. His dark eyes were easily one of his best features. His nose was straight and led your eyes down to the perfect lips that had somehow escaped her attention for so many years.
“So,” he said, shoving his hands into his worn jeans and looking at her.
“So.” She walked over and sat on her bed.
“Are you okay?” He sat next to her.
“Yeah.” She looked down as his hands took hers.
“I…” he started. She looked up at him. “I didn’t mean for this…”
She chuckled. “Yeah, neither did I.”
“Well, since it did…” She watched him swallow. “Will you marry me?”
She couldn’t stop the burst of laughter that had built up in her chest. “Hell, no.” She stood up and turned on him. “Seriously? Why would I follow up a stupid mistake with an even bigger one?” She turned and started listing off all the reasons it was a very bad idea. By the time she’d run out of steam, he was nodding and slowly getting off her bed.
“Well, if you need anything.” He avoided looking at her, and she knew that she’d hurt him. At this point, she didn’t care.
There was no way she was going to marry Billy Jackson, even if she was having his baby.
Six months later…
Shortly after that night, she’d traveled to Vegas after finding out from Billy that Travis, Billy’s longtime best friend, was there. She’d hoped to try and convince him to come back into town, to help her make things right, but instead he’d shunned her and she’d returned home empty-handed and empty-hearted. Not that she was in love with Travis Nolan. But he was the one person throughout all the years who had always been there when she needed someone. Even when he was engaged to wiry Alexis West, he’d been there for her. She’d loved knowing that she’d been with Travis the entire time he’d been roping Alex along. But after his mother had gone crazy, Travis had left town. She hadn’t seen again until Vegas.
Now, there was no hiding the fact that she was pregnant anymore. Even her parents knew, though they had never actually asked outright.
She’d stopped smoking and only occasionally walked around with a lite cigarette hanging from her mouth, just to keep gossip down to a minimum. She’d even pretended to drink beer and act a little drunk in front of her friends.
Travis had come back into town and just the other night she’d made a fool out of herself on his front porch. She knew she was being childish, but it had stung that he’d turned her away so easily.
That night, she’d stood in front of the mirror naked and had lost it. Her body was a mess. So, she’d done the only thing she could think of—she’d dressed as sexy as she could and thrown herself at what she had assumed was a sure thing, only to be thrown out like a used tissue. She’d said and done some things in the last few months that she wasn’t too proud of, but she had no control over herself when it came to rejection.
She hated knowing that Travis had moved on with the bookworm, Holly Bridles, who had broken Savannah’s nose a few months back. Her mother had driven her into Houston and they’d preformed a minor surgery to fix it as best as they could. Still, she thought that after the baby was born, she’d fly to LA and have a professional do a better job on it.
To be honest with herself, at this point in her life, she doubted she could deal with Travis anymore. His father had just passed away and left him with a mess around town. Everyone was talking about all hoops he had to jump through just to get his hands on his family’s money. She sighed and leaned back in the seat of her Jeep.
She knew the gossip that was going around town about her and Travis. Some claimed it was his baby, and she’d let the gossip continue unchecked, if for no reason other than she just didn’t have the strength to fight against a whole town at this point.
Okay, it might also have been that she didn’t want people to know it was Billy’s child. After all, since that night when he’d found out, he’d done little to prove to her that he was going to be a man and step up, other than throwing out a hasty proposal. He’d been seen around town with his friend Corey, chasing after every available girl above the age of eighteen.
She sighed and wished more than anything that she lived in a city instead of a small town that had nothing better to do than gossip about her life.
She jumped when she heard a knock on her window. Looking out, she saw Sheriff Miller standing next to her Jeep on the curb. Rolling down the window, she smiled at him.
“Everything okay, Savannah?” He leaned on her door and watched her carefully.
“Yeah, just resting my eyes for a moment.” She smiled and put her hand over his.
“We’re all worried about you, you know.”
“Yeah.” She frowned a little and looked down at their hands. Stephen Miller was the only man in town besides her father that she could trust. “I’m okay, really.”
“If you ever need anything…” He nodded to her growing belly and trailed off.
She placed a hand over her belly and nodded. “We’ll be okay. I promise.”
He smiled and then tipped his hat. “Well, you keep us posted. I know you and Jamella have had words in the past, but she’s really concerned for you as well.”
She didn’t doubt him. She had never really gotten along with the large black woman who ran Mama’s diner (but seemed to think she ran the tiny town), but she respected her. You’d have to be stupid not to. After all, the woman weighed more than most people in town and knew everyone else’s business. With that much power, people tended to steer clear of her bad side.
“Thanks.”
/> “Well, night.” He tipped his hat again.
“Night.” She reached over and started the Jeep’s engine.
As she drove through town, she thought about her options.
She could move to Tyler and have the baby there. She could get an apartment and live comfortably enough. If anyone asked, she could tell them that the daddy had died overseas in the military or some other fancy tale that would explain the lack of a man in her life. She frowned at that thought.
Or she could give the baby up for adoption. She shivered and closed her mind to that. Her parents wouldn’t like that either. Her mother was acting so excited about the possibility of having the baby around. She’d even gone to her last two doctor appointments with her.
Or she could have the baby and hold her head up high and raise it alone. After all, it was the twenty-first century. Women did it all the time.
She smiled. That was the plan she was most sure about. She had her parents to help out. How bad could it be raising a child alone? She could just imagine it. Her mother would take care of the baby when she wanted to go out with friends. Her dad would spoil the baby and throw big parties for it. She laughed remembering how her father had spoiled her and imagined he’d do the same for her baby.
She stopped smiling when she drove up to the house and saw Billy’s truck parked out front, right by her parents’ vehicles.
Billy sat on the Douglas’s sofa feeling very uncomfortable. He’d taken Travis’s advice to come over, but the second he’d stepped inside their door, he’d wished he hadn’t.
Travis had been his best friend since grade school and he’d always looked up to him. But at this moment, he wished he was punching the man in his face rather than sitting on an uncomfortable sofa as two of the wealthiest people in town stared him down.
He knew what they saw. He was in his late twenties. Thanks to the fight he’d gotten in with Travis the other night, he was sporting a black eye and fat lip. But, he had to admit, getting punched had knocked some sense into him.
He’d been acting like a child ever since Savannah had said all those things to him a few months ago. He’d been very hurt that she’d shunned him.
He couldn’t blame her. His family members weren’t exactly known for their good citizenship. After all, his father was serving time in prison for killing a man. Billy’s mind flashed to the scene just a few nights ago when he’d shown up drunk at Travis’ door.
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help. You think I haven’t heard what everyone’s saying about me? That Billy Jackson, he’ll end up killing himself or someone else. That Billy Jackson won’t amount to anything. He’ll turn out just like his old man.”
“Billy, everyone can change. Look at me.” Travis said, looking down at his feet. “Look at my family. Does that mean I’ll end up like my mother?”
Billy stopped and looked at him, then shook his head no. “You’re nothing like your old lady.” It was true; everyone in town knew it. Travis Nolan was not crazy.
“Why don’t you come in and sleep it off. I’ve got some of Jamella’s apple pie left in the fridge.
“Really?” Billy looked off towards the house. “What about her?” He nodded towards the garage, where Travis’ new fling stood on the stairs.
“She’s staying at the apartment. I’m in the big house for now.” His friend’s words had shocked him. After all, just a few weeks ago, he and Corey had done a number on Travis’ old apartment, just to show him what they thought of how he was treating them.
“Oh, shit. Really?” Billy looked towards the garage and back towards him feeling like a heel.
“Billy?” Travis took a step towards him.
“We thought. That is…Savannah said…” He remembered the night he’d called her and she’d been crying. She’d claimed that Travis had said all sorts of things about him and Corey.
“What did you do?” He took his friend’s arm.
“Shit.” Billy yanked his arm away.
“It was you, wasn’t it? You broke into the apartment and destroyed Holly’s stuff,” he asked.
“We didn’t break in. We still had the key you gave us. Besides, it was all Savannah’s idea. She’s the one that said you’d tossed her out and was shacking up with the book woman.” He had nodded towards Holly. It had hurt that Savannah had wanted Travis more than him. That knowledge alone had driven him to destroy most of Travis’ stuff.
“Why?” It was Holly that asked from just behind him. “Why did you trash it?”
“We thought Travis was staying there.” He frowned down at his fists and realized he hurt more about Savannah’s decision to pick Travis over him than he did about anything Travis had done.
“I heard. Why did you break in and ruin what you thought was your friend’s stuff?”
Billy shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet. “It seemed the thing to do after Travis started acting like we were scum.” He didn’t want to admit the truth.
“What?” Travis asked, stepping closer. “I never treated you like you were scum.”
“Sure you did. You wouldn’t hang out with us. And every time you saw us, you had this funny look on your face like you smelled something bad.”
“I didn’t mean to treat you bad. It’s hard for me.” He dropped his hands. “I don’t want to go back to being bad boy Travis Nolan.”
Billy laughed. “You’ll always be bad boy Travis Nolan. You’re the one that taught us how to shoot, how to smoke. You gave me my first beer.” He shook his head. “Hell, the whole town saw your ass when we streaked during the homecoming game our senior year.” Billy laughed, remembering.
Travis laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder. “Good ol’ times.” Then he sobered. “But for me they have to be in the past. I don’t want to be the same kid I used to be.”
Billy looked down at his feet. The word kid rang over and over in his head. “Hell, I know I have to shape up.” He looked up at Travis and decided it was now or never. He had to tell someone. “I’ve got my own kid on the way in the next few weeks.”
“What?” Travis looked at him and smiled. “Well, hell. I didn’t know you’d shacked up with someone special.”
Billy looked down again. “I meant to tell you.” Then he glanced up and felt his fingers tingle as he said the next words. “Course she’s telling everyone in town the baby is yours.”
He watched as acknowledgment crossed Travis’ eyes, and then his friend gasped. “Savannah? Savannah’s baby?”
Billy smiled and nodded as he held his breath. “I know you two used to have a thing. But, well, after you left town, we sorta hooked up.”
Travis laughed. “Of course you did.”
Well, of course he’d gone and listened to his friend’s advice. The last few days he’d spent almost every night over at Travis’ house, hanging out with him, talking. It had surprised him how much Travis had gone through in the last few years since leaving Fairplay.
Because of his friend, he’d stopped drinking and had even started wearing a nicotine patch so he could stop smoking. It was making him a little jittery, but so far he was sticking it out.
Now he wished more than anything for a cigarette as he felt Savannah’s parents watching him.
“So, do you mind telling us what this is all about?” Savannah’s father asked, leaning forward in the chair.
“No, sir. I think it’s best to wait for Savannah.” He swallowed and wished she’d hurry up and get home. He knew that she had no idea he was coming out here tonight; it was one of the reasons he had come. If she’d known, she would have talked him out of it. She had a way of convincing him to do just what she wanted. Well, that was going to stop. The first step towards becoming a man was to own up to his mistakes.
He felt relief flood him when he finally heard the front door open. Then she walked in and he felt nervous all over again.
She was still as beautiful as ever. Even with the extra weight and the large belly protruding out in front of
her. He didn’t know her exact due date, since she hadn’t shared that knowledge with him, but she was bound to be due any day now.
He stood up and walked towards her.
“Billy.” He could hear the stress in her voice and when he took her hand, she yanked it away. “What on earth are you doing here?” she whispered.
“I’m here to set things right.” He took her hand again and held it tight. Then he turned to her parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Douglas, I’ve tried to make things right with your daughter, but I’ve come over here tonight for one last chance. I’m the father of Savannah’s baby.” He watched Mr. Douglas’s eyes heat. He glanced over to Savannah’s mother and saw her eyes soften. “I’ve asked Savannah for her hand, but she’s denied me.” He glanced over at Savannah and saw her eyes heat and felt her hand jump in his. “Since she won’t have me, I have an alternative plan.”
Mr. Douglas stood, his fists by his side. “I’m listening.”
“John.” Mrs. Douglas stood and put her hand on her husband’s arm. “Why don’t we all sit down and listen to what William has to say.”
It was one of the first times anyone had ever called him by his full name, and he respected Savannah’s mother even more for giving him the chance.
Savannah’s father nodded and relaxed his fists as he sat back down.
“Daddy,” Savannah started to say, but she stopped when her father shook his head no.
“We’ll listen to what William has to say. After all, you’ve made it very clear that you’re not in your right mind at the moment.” Her father frowned and motioned for them to sit back down.
He tugged on Savannah’s hand until she followed him to the sofa where he helped her sit down.
She was a lot larger than he’d thought and when he sat next to her, he felt concerned that she was uncomfortable. She glared at him and he realized then that she wanted to kill him. He almost chuckled.
“I know Savannah has made up her mind not to marry me.” He frowned and looked at their joined hands. “But I’d like to keep that option open. I’ve just secured a new job. I’ll be working the pipeline that’s coming through the county this next year.” He smiled. “They’ve hired me on as manager.”