“Yes, and I will opt for a lemon yellow hue, just to stand out from the crowd,” added Martha.
The two young ladies laughed and enjoyed the tea as they were swept up in conversation about colour and who would wear what to the most revered ball of the annual calendar. They were also enjoying the vast array that they had been given, a fine selection of lovely cakes which looked as if they might win a prize at a fair, each one in their own right.
Emily and Martha were content within their conversation, and they both jumped as the front door slammed abruptly, nearly making Martha spill her tea all over her baby pink-coloured dress.
“Oh goodness!” exclaimed Martha. “What is happening?” she asked.
The pair listened as the stomping became more loud and obvious. It was Luke who had come home and was obviously unhappy about something. Emily had heard his feet push down purposefully like this, and many times before, and a grunt or two also ensued, which gave her the knowledge to know of his unhappiness regarding the cause.
Martha looked at Emily with a semi-shocked face. “I best be leaving now. I know you may have your hands full with it.
“Oh, I am sorry to cut the visit short my dear friend. I hope you don’t think badly of me.”
“Why? Of course I do not, Emily. I just know that he needs you more than I. And Mother has me doing an errand in London today anyhow. So go and be with your brother; we shall continue our conversation at a more appropriate time,” said Martha. “It is good to see you. I shall let myself out.”
“Goodbye, Martha. Thank you for being so understanding.”
Martha kissed Emily’s cheek before turning to leave. Her face was still noticeably pale from the noise and shock of the intrusion that Luke had caused.
Emily felt quite embarrassed by the outburst, and so she set herself to rectify it. She stormed through the parlour and into the drawing room, keenly looking at her brother who was now seated with his head in his hands, and definitely feeling forlorn about something.
“Brother, you just interrupted my conversation with Martha. She nearly spilled tea all over herself from the slamming of the front door. And if that wasn’t loud enough, you were stomping your boots louder than a stallion in a dry paddock. Whatever is the matter?”
Luke looked up for a moment and sighed. “Do you really have to make it seem that dramatic? It is my house too. Well, it will be someday, and Mother and Father are gone. Thank God they are away. I needed a break to think on my own. Perhaps next time you might like to join them!”
Emily knew that her brother was upset, and that his words were coming out because he was feeling annoyed. “What is it brother, please tell me?” asked Emily.
“I am sorry. I forgot that Martha was here today, and I did not mean to speak to you so abruptly just now. Please forgive me.” Luke paused. “It’s just that I ...”
“Yes, what is it brother? You can tell me anything.”
Luke hung his head and took a moment to gather his thoughts. He always placed a hand through his ruffled hair before stating something that was really getting to him. And so Emily sat next to him and waited for Luke to catch his thoughts.
“I took a terrible gamble. I invested poorly in a plantation that Jeremy Stiles and I were doing as a partnership in the Caribbean. The plantation was set correctly, but it has floundered, and I have used all of the money that Father entrusted into my care. If Father were alive, he would be livid.”
“Yes,” said Emily, and she felt a tear come down her cheek. “But ...?”
“Please just listen, Emily. I cannot state these facts more than once. It has been extremely difficult for me to say them even once. Please just hear me out.”
“Yes, brother,” said Emily, still trying to hold her tears behind her eyes.
“So I will need to let go of the housekeeper and the butler too, quite frankly. I will need to arrange for a marriage for you so that you have somewhere and someone to go to.”
Emily could see that Luke had a tear in his eye. “Is it really that devastating? Did you really throw everything into one venture?” Emily asked, hoping for an answer she would like to hear.
But no answer came as Luke cried aloud, fingering his hair non-stop and trying to calm himself on his own. Emily felt lost for a moment, and she became shocked at the revelation she had just heard.
She sat quietly with her brother, and then the anger began to rise up in her as her feelings on the matter became more pronounced. She did not know of anyone she could marry, and she had always dreamed of marrying for love and for no other reason.
Now Emily’s mind began racing through the men she had met, either by acquaintance or at the balls, but none of them were really standing out to her. And some had been far too egotistical or over the top in one way or another. It was hopeless trying to fathom any one of them, and it made her feel very alone at that moment.
“Brother, I cannot describe my angst at this news. I simply cannot believe that you would place everything into one venture in the hopes that it would be a good thing. Even Father would not tell you to do such a thing if he were still here. How dare you ruin my chance at a marriage with real love to satisfy your own greed! And what of the staff, their loyalty for so long and they are to be turned away like sheep without any fodder?” Emily’s tears began to stream down her face and Luke watched on, still stroking his hair and looking forlorn about the entire situation. He seemed to be lost.
“Emily, please. You cannot know how terrible I feel. The guilt inside my belly has risen up through me and into my heart, dear sister. Maybe there is something Jeremy and I can do, if I only had the monies to get myself to the Caribbean and see if I can recoup the loss. Perhaps I can borrow ...”
“No, brother. I think you have lost enough, don’t you?” asked Emily, still crying aloud.
Luke sighed. “Yes, I guess you are right.”
“Guess!” Emily was too upset now, and so she left the room and ran upstairs to the comfort of her own bed so she might let the tears flow out more freely.
She knew Luke would not follow her; it seemed he knew better than to do so. She lay on her bed and howled, much like an animal that was in desperate pain from having to leave its mother.
Her mind moved to the conversation she had been enjoying with Martha just an hour prior. They had been laughing together, thinking about the dresses they would wear for the Grandiosa Ball. It seemed like a lifetime ago now, and her life was about to become so strangely different, and married? The idea of marriage had always been such a romantic ideal for Emily.
Emily reflected on some of the older men who sought wives at the balls. Some were filthy rich, and some were very portly or even slightly ugly. Not that she put a major bias on looks, but she did want there to be some kind of attraction to her betrothed. She did not want a man to be with her romantically if she was not drawn to him. It made her feel quite unwell to her stomach, actually. Being intimate and having children with someone twice her age or someone who had no appeal either intelligently or in their physicality.
“Oh dear brother, what on earth have you done to me?” she asked, feeling the tears beginning to stream again.
But there was no answer at all. And even her lady’s maid had been given the day off because of her friend’s organised visit. Her bosom friend, Martha, would have still been there if it weren’t for Luke’s outburst and obvious signs of annoyance, and Emily had not realised that it would be such a great burden he would be carrying. To tell his own sister she would need to marry because there were no funds left for her care, and that some of the staff were going to be let go too. Well, it was a terrible mess that she just could not fathom.
Emily stayed on her bed and felt her body tensing up. The stress of the news was unbearable, and she also greatly missed her parents as well. They had been staying on in France, and had passed there. Her father had really despised drama.
Her mother had explained it to her once. “Your father does not like to think of things dramati
cally. He would rather walk away than feel as though he needs to fight a battle he cannot win,” her mother, Miriam had said.
“Mother, doesn’t Father want to know how he can do more about it?” Emily had asked.
“He deals with things quietly and succinctly, and it pleases him to be kind and humble, Emily. Do not allow yourself to be swept up and full of emotion. Your father has taught us to master them so we may continue each day without worry. And it’s also true that some things cannot be changed.”
Emily’s mother had given Emily clarity in the memory as she remembered her words from over a year ago. If she were to go further in everything, then she must try to curb how she felt about it. For this was something that she could not change, and Luke, although reckless in his actions, was not completely at fault. He had tried to do something great for the family, although (unfortunately) it had not come to fruition.
Emily propped herself up and looked at herself in the mirror. She was good-looking and kind too. Her eyes were lovely and true, and she noticed the naivety in them. And there would be a man who might love her, surely so. She had a big heart and would support a man in the ways that women were supposed to do. She only hoped that the man would be giving and loving towards her too. Her face needed a clean, and so she patted it down with a white lace handkerchief. And she decided, at least for the moment, that she would take control of herself and her emotions. Self-mastery would aid her now, and her father and her mother had always said this to be true. She would try to use this methodology to her advantage.
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A Lady's Taste For Temptation (Historical Regency Romance) Page 34