“Relax, Andy. I’m just washing your back. I’ve still got my damn shorts on for Christ’s sake. I just don’t like you ignoring me so answer the damn question and I’ll leave.” His mouth is near my ear while he’s still gently rubbing the sponge along my spine.
Shit. If I answer the question, he’ll leave. That’s the right thing to do, right? Except…what would happen if I don’t? Because I’ve never had my back washed by a man. The only one who’s ever washed it was my mother when I was a kid.
He presses a soft kiss on my shoulder and I swear it feels like he slides his tongue over my skin for a microsecond, making me shiver. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Andy.” His voice is hoarse, loaded with emotion that’s crackling the air surrounding us.
I don’t say anything and decide to just feel. Soft strokes gently sliding down my body until they stop. Afon’s hand comes up from behind me and holds out the sponge. “Go clean the rest. Though I’m fucking tempted to touch you there…I fucking won’t. Not now.”
I’m still thinking over the words he just voiced when the sponge is thrown to the floor. Curses follow as I see Afon stalk out of the bathroom, his shorts still on, leaving a path of water on the floor behind him.
What the hell? And why am I even mad he left me here all…all…dammit. Turning off the water, I reach for a towel and follow the trail of water that leads to the bedroom. Afon is standing naked in front of the closet with a pair of sweatpants in his hands. He manages to put them on before I start to throw words at him.
“Are you shy now all of a sudden? Or repulsed by my scars? You’ve seen them already, you said so.” A humorless laugh escapes me. “Ha. I knew it and damn well told you so. Here’s your chance. Tear up the damn contract and save yourself from this mutilated body.”
The roar that escapes him makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise. When I was standing in a room with all those men ready to attack me, there wasn’t an ounce of fear within me. That’s screwed up because humans can’t live without fear. It’s a survival instinct that keeps you alive. Right now…it’s kicking in full force.
This primal predator is showing his true colors for the first time. His fingers are wrapped around my neck in a tight grip, his face leaning in mine, our noses touching. There’s so much fury in his eyes that I’m sure the inferno of flames is about to annihilate me.
“First and final warning so open those goddamned ears. You’re mine. Nothing on this fucking earth will ever change that. Contract or no contract. And that bullshit you just voiced? Punishment of twenty. Besides me, you’ve insulted yourself so I’ll make damn fucking sure you will feel what it’s like to have words spoken with a lash that digs deep like the heat of a hand meeting skin.” Afon’s voice is deadly.
My throat is so dry I can’t even swallow or know how to use my throat.
“Afon!” Tarzan’s voice snaps from the doorway. “Let her go. Now! Shit. Get some damn control. You’ve never snapped, don’t be starting now. Let. Her. The. Fuck. Go.”
His eyes never leave mine, his voice still steady. “You haven’t seen me snap once, Tarzan, so mind your fucking business. It’s my fucking bedroom we’re standing in and it’s my woman’s fucking neck I’ve got my fucking fingers wrapped around.” His head lifts, connecting his gaze with my friend he demands, “My boss or not…fuck off and close the fucking door.”
Okay. Well. Uhm. It’s screwed up to feel aroused right now, yes? Right. Totally. This also proves Afon was right. I’m sooooo not asexual.
“I’m fine, Tarzan. I’ll be out in a sec,” I manage before shutting up when Afon’s head whips back to mine, his eyes narrowing.
Oooops. Yeah, he just helped to find and release my inner bitch…damn, how I missed feeling like this. I’ve felt so lost, weak, back to the broken girl I was when they crushed me all those years ago. I hear the door close and with that I realize that the man standing before me has many sides to him.
The connection he has with Tarzan is very clear and it kinda makes me jealous. I also realize from what Tarzan has told me over the last few months that Afon was like a brother to her. Someone to confide in, who pulled her out of any situation. Mentally or physically, he was always there.
Just like he did for me. At the hospital when I didn’t even know him, only seen and spoke to him once. When he came for me and took care of me when I went after Marco. And this last week, those seven days of care he gave me without pushing. Until now. Pushing me when I need it. It’s like he has a program to reboot me to the person who I am. Who I need to be so I can be myself.
He moves forward, forcing me to back up until I’m pressed against the door. Afon flips the lock and steps back. “Turn around.”
Two things. I could fight or I could obey. Fighting would be part of the workout we missed because my friends interrupted us. But something tells me this will be different and I’ll get the ‘punishment’ he promised anyway. So that leaves obey. Not really a fun thing to do when you have an Italian temperament. I’ll just take the middle option and see where we go from there.
I raise my eyebrow in a challenge. “Make me.”
“There she is.” A sly smile spreads his face but all I get is a glimpse before I’m swirled around, my cheek hugging the door the next instant.
That’s twice he’s said that to me ‘there she is’. As if he knows me, craves me to be who I am deep down. Yet he also picks me up when I’m shattered and allows me time to get back on my feet. This realization strikes me harder than the fire that’s exploding on my ass cheek. His hand rains down more slaps. I’ve been through a lot in my life but I’ve never been spanked. Not like this.
The heat that spreads shatters in a million pieces, pain crumbling into desire. Flaring my body alive under his touch. I grit my teeth, not only to prevent screaming out but also swallowing back the moans that threaten to spill. All I’ve ever known, all I’ve ever had to endure…the touch of a man against my will…always taking. Repulsion. That’s the only thing that would flare through my body. Yet this…would this classify as the touch of a lover? Even if I challenged him to take charge?
My mind stops spinning when I feel his hot breath next to my ear. His naked chest is pressing against my back while his hand slides possessively around my waist, holding me steady. I can’t believe he’s managed to make my whole body shake underneath his touch. If his arm wasn’t wrapped around me, I’d crumble to the floor.
Chapter 07
Did I spank some sense into her?
***Afon***
Twenty fucking times the palm of my hand has made contact with her skin. Sending a pulse straight to my dick every damn time. The vile things she said about herself…pushing me away. Fuck. She taunted me, then lashing out that I’ve already seen her scars.
She’s wrong on every front but fuck…I lied to her. I didn’t see all of her because I fucking respected her dignity. I saw all of her just now for the first time when she was standing fully naked in the shower.
“Sometimes it seems like this world sucks the life straight out of your soul, yet you…your body flaring alive underneath my hand. Fuck, Andy. You make the two of us drift off to a world that revolves around us.” I’m still trying to catch my damn breath but I have to get the rest out now. “I lied before, Andy. I didn’t see all of you before I watched you in the shower. I had Tarzan waiting for me when I brought you home. She was the one who cleaned you up with my back turned because I wasn’t leaving the room.”
She tenses in my arms. I damn well know she’s bracing herself to start fighting.
“The fucking reason I left the damn bathroom is because I want to consummate our marriage on our wedding night. We ain’t married yet, Andy. But we will be soon. I’ve waited months so what’s an extra two weeks, huh?” I chase her pulse along her neckline with my nose, breathing her in. “But fuck, anima mia…I will do everything except slide my dick inside your pussy. You’re headstrong, claiming that can never happen…for some fucked up reason. Then fine. You hear me? F. I.
N. E. Because the way you reacted to my touch?” My fingers carefully slide downwards making a path straight through her trimmed curls only to find a pair of drenched lips.
If she was tensed up a moment ago, she’s fucking stone now. Fuck.
“Sweetheart…the way you freeze up? That’s also the reason I had to get away from your naked body underneath the shower. I crave you. And I will make damn sure your body will long for my touch, will be used to the way I worship, will know every detail it needs to be tipped over the edge and head straight for the kind of pleasure no one ever gave you. Remember the heat I gave you a few breaths ago? The burn that’s still heating your skin? That’s the kind of fire that will overtake your pussy…only my cum will be able to extinguish that, anima mia.” My fingers leave her heavenly place and my chest fucking blooms from the fact that she’s leaning against me instead of being the rigid statue I was holding just now.
I bring my fingers close to my face and feel her head turn my way. She takes me in as I inhale her sweet scent before my digits disappear into my mouth. Her arousal hitting my tongue makes a moan rip from my body. My eyes close. Fuck. She tastes so damn good.
Something brushes over my bottom lip. Opening my eyes, I find Andy’s gaze locked on my mouth, her thumb now trailing down my chin. Turning her body slightly, she raises herself on her damn tiptoes and connects our mouths ever so gently.
Before I can apprehend, consume her damn mouth to the point of devouring completely, she pulls away. And I fucking let her because I’m stunned as fuck that she kissed me just now.
Clearing my throat, I ask, “You okay?”
“Getting there,” she tells me before she throws me a look over her shoulder, eyes uncertain with her teeth sinking in her bottom lip.
For the first time around her, I don’t know what the hell to do. Did I spank some sense into her? Finally crawled out of that black hole she fell into when she pulled away from everyone to seek revenge and failed? With Tarzan I always knew she’d bounce back after a few days, like the seven days I gave Andy.
“Thank you,” she mutters shyly and puts on underwear, tight jeans, and a blue tank top.
I’m still reeling that she flipped a one eighty when she’s standing in front of me.
“Could you move?” She peers into my eyes. “I need to get to the girls before they wander off and scout the place on their own or do God knows what. Oh, and we’re not done. We need to talk about Marco some more and this whole thing about the wedding is,”
“Nonnegotiable,” I tell her. “For the last fucking time, you’re mine.”
I see anger flowing into her features. Throwing her shoulders back she snarls, “So that’s it, huh? I’m just supposed to give my brother full control over the gang I used to run along with him and be a lovely housewife to you and let you spank me every now and then to keep me in line? Is that it?”
“Fuck no,” I growl in her face. “You earned that spanking. And yeah, your brother might be the only one who’s going to lead his gang but that means you’re out of the retaliation field. You’re tied to both an Italian, and a huge Russian gang. Every single fucking person on this fucking earth will think twice about coming after you.”
Understanding strikes her face. Her breathing picks up again and I’m fucking sure she’s threatening to slip back into a fucking panic attack. I need her to focus, get her breathing under control.
“All but that fucking Marco, he doesn’t seem to be backing off.” Inching closer, I lean into her personal space. “But we’ll handle that one ourselves, right?”
“Yes,” she hisses.
“Then go and have some fun with your friends. You need it. I’ll go over everything again later. Ford, along with Peacock, and your brother, will be here two hours from now. Did you want to see your brother? If you don’t want to, just give me the word and I’ll throw him out the door right after the meeting.”
A smile spreads her face, her hand comes up and pats my pecs. “Nah, I think I need to have a little chat with my brother. Delaying it will only postpone the healing time his face needs and with our wedding in two weeks…yeah, screw that. I don’t fucking care. I need to kick his ass so we might as well get it over with today.”
I give her a curt nod and taking advantage of her closeness, I quickly brush my lips over hers before I step back. “Go. I need to get properly dressed for the meeting.”
Her gaze drops and I’m sure she gets an eyeful of my dick that’s doing a fine job of tenting my damn sweatpants. Good thing she’s scurrying out of the bedroom at full speed. For the both of us. But mainly for me; avoiding the temptation of throwing her on the bed and sinking myself deep. She’s got no damn clue how hard these baby steps are, it’s killing me, but she needs it so that’s what she gets.
It takes me twenty minutes to slide into my suit without a fucking boner. At least my hair is fucking perfect. Nah, I’m kidding, the buzz cut is easy maintenance. I needed a cold damn shower.
I’m right on time when the front door swings open and Ford steps inside. Yeah. Both my bosses have a key. Well, Tarzan doesn’t have one anymore. Andy can fight me on the damn contract all she wants but I saw the jealousy spike in her whole body when she found out Tarzan had a key. Not to mention those women getting an eyeful of my bare chest.
Baby steps. Her body might be skipping ahead, but it’s her mind that needs to slide into place. Soon enough.
Chapter 08
There’s no such thing as free will.
***Andy***
“You know I still have to kick his ass, right?” Tarzan glares at me when I place the box of oatmeal cookies on the table.
My eyes roll. “We both know you won’t. Now if Ford would have said those words…yeah, maybe.”
Jealousy is a weird thing. Flaring up when I don’t need it, taking me by surprise one moment and another it’s long gone because I know Tarzan sees Afon as her brother. Blood or no blood, those two have a solid history.
Tarzan shrugs and takes a cookie. “He’s lucky he’s taken good care of my friend. He did, right? I mean…you look and sound better then when I saw you a week ago.”
“I guess I have you to thank for that,” I sneer.
Shit. See? The jealousy monster is rearing its ugly head at the most inappropriate time when my mind just told me a moment ago they’re like brother and sister.
The damn woman smirks all-knowing. “You’re welcome.”
Karma claps her hands. “Girls, girls, girls. May I remind you? Hello, we’ve got a wedding in two weeks. We need to talk shoes.”
I have to turn my head around to gape at her.
“Oh, and dresses. Let’s not forget the sketch your friend Unique made. So. Flipping. Gorgeous. Here.” Ruby reaches for the bag Karma brought.
“No. Just no. I don’t need a damn dress. It’s all to show how big their dicks are and who gets to piss a circle around a woman that’s been thrown at a man who gets to strengthen a connection from it. Freaking mob business. Nothing else. Shove away those dream dresses you girls are talking about because it’s not happening.” I shove a cookie into my mouth to shut myself up before I start to wail about how awful I would look in a wedding dress.
“Oh, could you put a cork in it and suck it?” Tarzan snaps at me and rips away the bag from Ruby.
Pulling out a bunch of fabric, she throws everything right at me making silk after silk flow over me.
“Would you look at that,” Karma snickers. “You already look like a bride.”
“Shut up.” I chuckle and grab the piece of fabric that landed over my head. It’s cream chiffon and it feels so soft, it’s mesmerizing.
“This one,” I murmur to myself and then look up and hold it out for the girls to see. “I want this one,” I tell them with a firm voice.
“Awesome,” Karma says and adds, “Can I throw the wedding cake samples when we pick out that one? No wait, the shoes. Yeah, that’s more my thing.”
“May I remind you that killing with heels is kinda y
our trademark? Hell, no. You’re not throwing those at me, I just had a workout,” I remind Karma.
“Would that be the one we walked in on? Or the one your man gave you upstairs when you were,” she air quotes, “freshening up.”
Tarzan and Ruby laugh while my cheeks heat.
“He had her all naked, pinned with his fingers wrapped around her throat when he ordered me to leave his bedroom. He’s always been headstrong but I can’t remember the last time anyone riled him up like that. You do a fine job of getting underneath his skin…or fingernails, whatever.” Tarzan smiles and adds, “Bet the make-up sex is to die for.”
“There is no sex,” I throw out, surprising my friends.
I swallowed the fear of what they might think of me. These are my friends, so they are supposed to have my back. We’ve grown close in a short period of time. All of us with a past that’s tainted with blood and darkness. Feeling something settle inside me, I decide to throw it all out. I might as well get their view of things because it’s all boiling inside. The forced marriage, revenge, Afon, feelings, everything entwined without giving me the space I need to take a breath.
“I can’t. And that’s…I’m Italian mob. I’m brought up with the expectations to be married off. These things are never for love, that’s one percent in a million if you find true love from an arranged marriage. But there’s always the show of the sheets after the wedding, you know…proof that the man has consummated the marriage. Afon said he wanted a traditional Italian one…he can’t have one.” I lower my gaze to my hands, the feeling of the cream chiffon sliding through my fingers, I tell mainly myself. “He will never understand that won’t happen…I don’t have my virginity left to gift my future husband.” My voice is barely a whisper. “A wooden stake took that away…not quite something a girl wants for her sweet sixteen party.” I shake my head to clear it. “Coffee anyone?” I ask, trying to shove away the pity party I was having with myself.
Afon_The Dudnik Circle Book 3 Page 4