Afon_The Dudnik Circle Book 3

by Esther E. Schmidt

  “What the ever-loving-fuck-coffee-anyone, bitch?” Tarzan flashes up and hovers over me. “Names. Now. I’m gonna get me some rope to wrap around their necks and swing them from the church bells. Who the hell used a wooden stake on you?”

  My eyes widen. “Shit. I was talking to myself. You weren’t…it doesn’t matter, it’s all taken care of. They’re not alive anymore; Ricca took care of it. Besides, the stake wasn’t the worst of it.” Dammit. Anytime, tongue, feel free to spasm into silence.

  Flashing up, I run toward the kitchen and leave my three stunned friends behind. I need to calm down before I spill the darkest of my past, the one I’ve safely tucked away. Dammit. This was probably why Afon gave me the seven days to get back to my old self before I faced anyone else. I’m a mess. An emotional mess without having a handle on anything.

  “Just breathe, Andy.” Tarzan’s voice is soothing when she grabs a cup from the top shelf and puts it underneath the coffee machine.

  She presses some buttons and waits for the cup to fill. Seconds pass where she doesn’t say a word, not even gives me a glance but instead watches the black, hot liquid flow. Grabbing the cup, she holds it out to me.

  I wrap my fingers around it and let the warmth seep through my hands. “Thank you,” I murmur.

  “He wouldn’t care, Andy. Seriously. Afon won’t ever let you down. Even if he could never put his dick inside you, he would still have you at his side, dying a happy man with just having you to have shared his life with. That’s the kind of loyal prick he is. The one I love as a brother and the person I’ve had the honor of having around for a huge chunk of my life. A solid one who always had my back no matter what the situation was or how hard life got. I know he’s always loved me back, pushed my limits, gave me a shoulder to cry on, or a smack to the back of my head to knock some sense into me…but what I saw in the bedroom upstairs…how he was with you? That’s the kind of emotion that’s heated with passion. The kind that flames from the heart. You know…I saw the change inside him when you guys first met. Then when you were hurt. He wouldn’t care. Because to him, you’re all he needs, the woman you are today. Besides…you do know there’s a hell of a lot else that can make you orgasm, right? I mean just a mere touch of Ford’s finger heating my skin like,”

  “No, no, no.” I shake my head. “There is such a thing as oversharing, Tarzan. You talk about it all the time. The ropes, the rotation of his hips, you tying him up, yeah…you talk a lot, woman. I get what you’re saying…I’ve read romance books talking about love and orgasms, a better life where you’re swept off your feet. I was born into the Italian Mob as a woman, Tarzan. There’s no such thing as free will. Not ever. Not who your family is, not who you’re supposed to love, not who can touch you, or who will be your husband…choice isn’t something that’s freely given. It’s something that can be taken away, held out of reach, a mirage. But never mine…Tarzan…never mine.”

  “Fuck,” Tarzan snaps. “Seven days wasn’t enough, huh?” She gives me a sad smile.

  Her reaction makes my heart fill. Tarzan might be a little weird but she’s not one to question or hold my hand crying. Yet she’s there for me.

  “It cost me years to bounce back to a functional human when they took me the day I turned sixteen. I’m not the same person I was. Right now, I don’t know who the hell I am anymore, or why I should even wonder.” Crap. I hate being dramatic but a turmoil of emotions are ripping through me.

  “Talk to him,” Tarzan carefully tells me but with a firm voice she adds, “He’s not like the men you’ve met or had around you in your life, Andy. He’s different. He might be an asshole alpha at times but he’s worked under me as a loyal second in command for so many years…I mean, he gave you the seven days I always gave myself. To sulk and regroup before the two weeks of kicking ass were up to deal with. It’s a process for your mind and body to slide back into the land of the living. I would have these hard moments in life where I’ve felt myself slipping. He learned to help me and with that I know for damn sure he’s the man you need. The only man you’ll ever need. Your brother might have had your back all these years but that only goes so far. Afon? You bet your ass he can give you everything. And unless you’ve got that pussy stitched up, blocking his dick from sliding home…I don’t see why you can’t let him woo you his way.”

  The air rushes out of me, black spots closing in. That pussy stitched up.

  “Shit. Andy. Fuck. Afon, get your ass in here!” Tarzan’s voice fades to the background.

  Chapter 09

  I need a damn counterpart.

  ***Afon***

  “What the fuck happened, Tarzan?” I snap my words out for the second time today at my boss.

  I’m holding Andy in my arms, sitting on the kitchen floor. Tarzan looks over at the door where Ruby and Karma are standing. Their men standing behind them because they took off with me when I heard Tarzan scream my name.

  “Would you mind giving us some privacy? We’ll be right out,” Tarzan commands. Yeah, it’s a question but make no mistake…there’s no room for arguments when she voices them like that.

  Tarzan squats down next to me as she brushes some of my woman’s curls from her closed eyes. “It’s bad, Afon. Shit doesn’t even compare to what I went through.”

  I suck in a breath and fucking brace myself. I know damn well her brother told me some of the shit what went down but even he wouldn’t let me know all the details. Either she never told him, or no one really knows what went down except for her and the fuckers who did it to her, but they aren’t walking the earth anymore. Ricca assured me he killed them all.

  “She has issues with the arranged marriage. The traditional one you’re demanding. She mentioned something about a wooden stake that took her virginity, that she couldn’t give you the blood on the sheet tradition…but Afon…I made a poor joke.” Tarzan’s eyes fill up, shit. That hard woman rarely sheds a tear.

  “Spit it the fuck out, Tarzan. What the fuck did you say?” I ask in a cold voice, making her eyes snap to mine.

  “I told her that her brother might have had her back all these years but that kind of bond only goes so far. And that you could give it all to her…unless she had her pussy stitched up, blocking your dick from sliding home.” Tarzan shakes her head. “She turned as white as a sheet, Afon. Fuck. I think…I think...fucking hell.”

  “Don’t say it,” I croak.

  I can’t fucking bear the thought. Rising to my feet, I take Andy’s body along with me. Turning to face my boss I tell her, “Postpone the wedding. We’ll have an engagement party on that day instead. I’ll talk to Andy and we’ll set a new date together. Get everyone out of my fucking house and make sure either Vinci or Jakov handles outside security. Ricca just got word that Marco found two soldiers, who the syndicate cast out, and they are now working with him. Ricca also mentioned he had something going on himself so tightening security would be wise. Andy provoked Marco when she went after him. He was building his own fucking gang but she put a stop to it with killing them all except for Marco. Now he really doesn’t have anything to lose. Just get it done.”

  I don’t wait for her answer but head for my bedroom. I don’t fucking care that I had a meeting, nor do I care that I just gave my boss orders instead of the other way around. All that matters now is Andy.

  Gently I place her on my bed and step back. Toeing off my shoes, I settle down next to her and pull her into my lap. Fuck. She’s going to hate the fact that she had another panic attack. Weakness. In front of her friend. My boss. Standing in the kitchen one moment, waking up here with me the next. And fuck if I’m not a part of the cause. Not in the worst way, but fuck…stunning dark eyes connect with mine.

  “Hey, anima mia.” I gently slide my thumb up and down her cheek. “You okay?”

  Her eyes close for another moment before she opens them and sighs. “I have a headache.”

  “Figures. Breathing the wrong way and with that spiking a chemical reaction inside your body w
ith those panic attacks of yours, it’s like releasing poison in your veins. And when those damn panic attacks are over they’ve drained everything right the fuck out of you.” Our gaze is still connected and I can’t help myself when I bend down and connect our lips for a blinking instant.

  I place my forehead against hers because she needs to know. “The traditional Italian wedding I wanted was for you…to do right by you. I didn’t think about the showing of the sheets, fuck that, it’s you…I wanted to give you a special day to remember for the both of us. Since I’m Russian…fuck. I postponed it, okay? The date of the wedding will be our engagement party instead. You pick a damn date, but we’re still getting married.”

  The corner of her mouth twitches. “Quite the romantic there, Afon. Not at all negotiable, all demands but still leave a hint for me to decide?”

  “Something like that,” I croak as I can’t seem to pull my gaze away from her mouth.

  It’s sick and twisted because I imagine sliding my dick along her bottom lip, spreading my precum while her tiny pink tongue peeks out, tasting me before I sink into her hot mouth. Throwing my hips forward while I’ve got a tight grip on her head. My fingers buried deep into her black curls to keep her in place while I pump vigorously to find my release, jetting out cum so it flows down her throat.

  Andy shifts on my lap and dammit, that’s probably due to my granite dick that’s uncomfortable as fuck between the two of us. “I’m okay now. It happened again, I couldn’t…” She searches my eyes. “I don’t know…get mad soon enough? I couldn’t push the uprising feeling away, whatever.”

  “It was a trigger. Tarzan made a damn joke but instead it triggered something from your past,” I tell her and she suddenly scrambles from my lap.

  “Maybe. But it’s gone now. I’ll go back downstairs, you had a meeting, right?” She fucking fidgets with her fingers. She notices me watching and she throws her hands behind her back. “I’m fine. Go. Do whatever you always do.”

  “No. I sent everyone home. You and I need to talk about a few things.”

  “We’re not talking. You’re demanding while I, the pathetic housewife-to-be, freaks out every damn time. Such a contradiction, huh? Still no regrets, Afon? I’m not the strong fighting woman I was when you met me,” she sneers.

  Jumping to my feet, I get so close into her personal space that she instinctively takes a step back. “I saw you in your element a few days ago, sweet cheeks. You’re the same person you’ve always been. Don’t ever fucking doubt it.”

  “I’m doubting, okay? Wouldn’t you? I mean look at me. Open your freaking eyes. I’ve crashed to the ground more than once, can’t even handle a conversation with my friend over freaking coffee.” Her hands wave around to give her words strength.

  She’s pissed right now and I could use it to try something. “It wasn’t the conversation you couldn’t handle. It was the stitched up pussy joke.”

  Stone. Like a damn statue.

  “I’ve felt that pussy. My fingers felt the wetness it produced for me. You might have frozen up like you’re doing right now but you’re not full force panicking with me. When you’re ready I would like to hear all the details of what you’ve gone through in life. I want to know you, Andy. I can’t bear thinking the worst, knowing you’re the only one carrying it with you on your shoulders. This,” I wave my hand between the both of us, “I want it fucking all. I’m a self-made man, one who doesn’t need a wife for show. I can’t fucking marry just any woman because I need a damn counterpart. A stunner who can let her guard down but then turn around and be a fucking warrior. That’s you, Andy. That’s you.”

  I’m not expecting her action, so I’m being thrown back on the bed with her weight on top of me, arms locked tight around me.

  “But you’re gonna be disgusted if I told you everything. It’s broken or at least I thought so but then you…you made me burn…there.” She shuts up and fuck, I don’t have a damn clue what she just rambled about.

  “I’ve cut people up slowly because we needed to delay their death, Andy. They’ve pissed and shit themselves while I was doing it. Puke mixed with blood as I shoved their fingers down their fucking throat. There’s very little that disgusts me, sweet cheeks.” I’ve got one arm firmly wrapped around her while I stroke her sea of black curls. “And I’ve seen and felt you, all of you. So out with it.”

  She’s got her head buried against my chest as she starts to talk. “My best friend asked if she could host my sweet sixteen party. Since she turned sixteen just a few days before me, we could do it together at her house. My parents allowed it, so my friend’s parents made all the arrangements. Turns out, it was all a setup, it was a well-planned hostile takeover and my father never saw it coming. Although they did not expect my brother to stay home. Nor that I had just gotten a phone for my birthday, so I was able to warn Ricca when they killed my father the second he got out of the car. I was so scared but I was flat on the floor in the backseat. My mother had closed the door because she already had the door open to help me out with my dress before she shoved me back when she heard the gunshot. I managed to tell Ricca that it was a setup, that dad was dead before they shot my mother and dragged me out of the car. Giordano grabbed my ankle and dragged me out. I was still holding the phone in my hand, holding it up. I think that’s what saved me that day. If I hadn’t…he…he was already aiming the gun in my face. I screamed for Ricca to kill every single last Giordano. The phone was ripped out of my hands and I was dragged inside.” She shivers in my grip. “The gravel…some was embedded in my back. But that wasn’t the worst of it.”

  I’m afraid to fucking breathe. A part of me doesn’t want to know what happened next and yet I don’t think I could ever live without not knowing. My fingers keep stroking her hair in comfort and it takes all of my strength to do so because rage is burning through my veins.

  Chapter 10

  Obliterate past memories.

  ***Andy***

  His white dress shirt absorbs my tears while I find the strength to let the rest of my words flow. “Giordano knew Ricca was coming for him. The reason Giordano kept me alive is because Ricca would never come alone, he always had his three friends with him. They were all invited but none of the four wanted to go. My father even had a big fight with Ricca earlier because those four young men didn’t want to attend a sweet sixteen party. Invited or not…they wanted to play pool instead.” It’s crazy…a shaky breath flows over my lips at the memory. Such a rebellious act standing up against our dad like that. Stupid, boyish even, and yet it was the difference of being alive now. “Those guys were tight back then. My brother’s a born leader. That was also the night he unintentionally replaced our father’s name of the gang with his own. He made a statement, although it wasn’t needed. The syndicate gave him the name because everyone respected the boy who became a man that night. Everybody knew who Ricca ‘The Fox’ Dantano was ever since that day. He’s sneaky and his pouncing technique is flawless. When he kills, he grabs them by the throat and shakes the life right out of them. That or he just cuts them open and let their insides fall out. But if you ask him why he’s called the fox,”

  “The thick tail,” Afon mutters, making me laugh because I know Ricca must have told him that.

  “Yeah. That part does really well with the ladies.” I sigh. “He didn’t really need his three buddies that night to come rescue me. He did that all on his own while the other three took out the rats who supported the hostile takeover. Ricca still blames himself that he didn’t get to me in time. When he found me in the bathroom, a crumpled mess huddled in a corner, I was already,” swallowing hard, I whisper, “stitched up.”

  It’s like the room is filling with ice, killing everything in its path. Silence. Dead silence to the point that I’m having doubts if either of us is still alive or not. I’m waiting. Waiting for him to push me away, be repulsed, curse, leave…anything. But instead he holds me tighter and nuzzles his face into my hair.

  This gives me enough cou
rage to spill the rest. “Two of Giordano’s men held me down while Giordano told me I would never be worthy. That no man would ever lay a hand on me, that he would make sure by shoving a wooden stake inside me, taking my virginity, and robbing me of giving myself to my future husband. With the hymen gone I could never present the bloody sheets. But Giordano wasn’t done. He knew Ricca was coming so he left him a message. Giordano sliced my thighs with a knife before he wrote message down on a piece of paper he wrapped in plastic…before he shoved it inside me and sewed my pussy shut, leaving the wounds on my thighs open and bleeding.”

  “Andy,” Afon’s voice sounds strained. “Are all of those who were involved dead?”

  “Yes.” I rub my cheek against the fabric that’s covering his solid chest. “Ricca hunted them all down within a matter of hours. He killed them all.”

  “Good.” Afon releases a deep sigh and places a kiss on the top of my head. “Did you have a date in mind yet?”

  “A date?” I ask confused.

  “Our wedding, anima mia.” His husky chuckle makes my heart double in size.

  “You still want to?”

  His fingers tighten in my hair as he pulls my head back to lock his gaze with mine. “Now Andy, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t see you for who you are? My counterpart. You turned around, left that dark shit behind you, and became a fucking warrior.”

  His words echo in my head. He’s not repulsed. He knows more than I’ve ever told anyone. When Ricca found me, brought me home, I was able to cut out the stitches myself using a mirror, tweezers and scissors. I threw away the piece of paper they shoved in there. I was so ashamed. I tried to hide it but everything got infected.