What Remains

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What Remains Page 15

by Sandra Miller


  “Come on in. I’ll warm it up in the microwave,” she told him with a grin of her own.

  As she swept past him, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the crown of her head.

  “I’m sorry we ruined your evening, Tess.”

  “You didn’t ruin anything, Seth,” she admitted solemnly, patting his hands that were clasped beneath her breasts pulling her back against him. The strength of his embrace let her know that he was being earnest.

  “You look beautiful tonight, encase no one told you.”

  “Alms to the poor?” she laughed lightly. And no, no one had told her.

  “Not hardly,” chuckled Seth. “And you smell good, even though I’m sort of partial to banana nut bread.”

  “You’re only saying that because you’re hungry.” Tessa pulled away and drug him by the hand towards the kitchen. “Come on, boss man, let me feed you.”

  “Aren’t you going to light the candles?” he teased when they sat across from each other at the breakfast nook.

  Tessa shook her head, ashamed by her futile attempts at romance. “It was just a silly idea.”

  Paying no heed to her reply, Seth picked up the lighter and lit them.

  “This is for you…” he said, placing the eighty dollars she had just lost to him on the table next to her plate.

  “I can’t take that! You won it fair and square.”

  “And you earned it fair and square, so we’re even.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Now eat your Kartoffelpuffers and Buletten before it gets cold again,” she told him, grateful for his friendship.

  BOOK TWO

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jacqueline Kostova sat across from Seth at the Four Seasons, examining him curiously with mistrust, which he really couldn’t blame her for since she had been vying for a dinner invitation from him for almost two years. He wished there was a more legitimate explanation for his calling her up out of the blue, but the fact was he simply did not want to spend another night alone in his hotel room. Even if it meant going back on a promise he had made to himself years ago; never fraternize with an employee, no matter how physically attractive he found them to be.

  His father had taught him by example, what happens when a man succumbs to temptations in the work place; whether it was a secretary or a nanny...peoples’ lives got ruined. The humiliation on his mother’s face every time she learned of another one of his father’s conquests had been enough to make a lasting impact.

  Aside from wanting to do whatever he had to not to become a man like his father, there was the matter of his late wife, Elizabeth. After what he put her through, Seth swore he would never allow himself to get emotionally involved again, and run the risk of failing another human being as he had failed her. Because whether he liked it or not, he was very much like his father when it came to being a selfish and thoughtless husband.

  He and Beth had been married for sixteen years before she passed. For the last eight years of their marriage, he emotionally and physically abandoned her. Of course, Seth understood why she sided with his family over the matter of accepting the inheritance. If he had not, the crazy old man was going to leave enough in a trust fund to support Mems comfortably for the rest of his life, and give every remaining cent of his hundred million to charity, leaving his only daughter and her family with nothing but what her husband could provide. They would have been destitute within a year. His old man was not known for his work ethic or his ability to manage money.

  There was also the matter of Elizabeth having come from old money. She was use to the finer things. Being the wife of an idealistic young man who longed to cut all family ties and make it on his own; putting every penny he earned back into a struggling new business, had not been easy for her, financially or emotionally. It was not what she had signed on for when she said “I do”. She assumed that marrying into a powerful and wealthy Boston family meant she would be set for life, able to continue the financial excesses she was accustomed to. But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t shared his plans with her from the very beginning of owning his own architectural firm, she simply chose to believe he would someday grow out of it and see the error in his thinking.

  None of this mattered now. She was gone. It was too late to tell her he was sorry for the fact that she was forced to spend the last two years of her life struggling with not only with the disease that eventually took her life, but with knowledge that the one person who should have been there by her side, her husband, had forsaken his vowels to love and protect her, through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. And damn it, he had managed to avoid confronting his past failures as a husband, as a human being, until Tessa Maguire showed up on his doorstep.

  “Is everything alright, Seth? You seem a distracted.”

  After taking another sip of his whiskey, he toyed with the glass absent-mindedly and offered her an insincere smile. “Everything is fine.”

  Taking his answer at face value, Jacqueline leaned back in her seat and stared at him with her usual brashness. The thirty-four year old was the type of woman who knew exactly what she wanted, and usually got it.

  “So, what made you decide to finally ask me out, if you don’t’ mind me asking?”

  “I thought it was time, I guess.”

  “Well, I would like to think it was my sparkling effervescence.”

  Seth chuckled, but said nothing. He had no desire to lie to her about why he called, but it was evident she wasn’t going to let it go.

  “Or can it be that you finally ended things with your life-sized Barbie.”

  “That could have a little something to do with it.”

  Jacqueline laughed derisively, “What was her name again? I met her at last year’s Christmas party. She was quite the hit.”

  “Chrissy.”

  “Ah, yes, Chrissy. She was in Playboy, right?”

  “Sports Illustrated.”

  “I was close,” she grinned. “Please don’t take this as an insult to your choice in women, but I just don’t understand the attraction. Women like that are so…so…one dimensional. I mean, in the bedroom I’m sure it doesn’t matter, but what could possibly hold your attention the other ninety-nine percent of the time?”

  “Fantasies about that one percent, I guess.”

  Jacqueline grinned and nodded her head, pursing her lips together as if she didn’t appreciate his stab at humor. But the irony was, that dressed in her short black cocktail dress, with her perfectly applied smoky eyes and hot red lipstick, Miss Kostova looked much like the Barbie doll women she was criticizing.

  “Well, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it doesn’t sting a little to know you’re here on the rebound. But I’m a strong woman, Seth Richards. I can handle it.”

  “I have no doubt about that.”

  “I think I’m more disappointed by the fact that you’re just as uptight on a dinner date as you are in the office.”

  Arching a brow in surprise, Seth laughed and lifted his glass to honor the fact that she had enough balls to be straight up with him about what she was thinking. “Salute…”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  With a self-appreciative smirk, she added, “I can tell you’re not use to having a personal conversation with a woman as out spoken as I am.”

  “Why is that,” he asked, already growing bored with the conversation because he knew exactly where it was going from here.

  Squaring his shoulders, Seth prepared himself mentally for the hour long self-promoting sales pitch that was about to come his way.

  “By the way you keep playing with your drink; I’ve obviously forced you out of your comfort zone. I think men like you, or perhaps men in general, are intimidated by confident women who know who they are and what they want. You prefer the ease of women who can’t challenge you intellectually.”

  “I agree, somewhat. Although I think ‘challen
ge’ is the operative word in that statement,” Seth grinned, wondering if she realized how many self-professed intelligent women had ‘challenged’ him with similar monologues to help him see the injustice of his masculine ways.

  How many dates had he been on in the past nine years where he felt as if he was being given the hard sell? Too many. It seemed that every woman he met felt the need to convince him of her superiority among females. Different faces, same pitch, whether they were selling their looks or their intelligence. They all believed they had the corner market on originality.

  “Really? Explain,” she demanded, leaning forward on her elbows with a grin on her face, as if she relished the idea of an intellectual debate so she could show case her talents.

  “Jackie, I’d rather not have this conversation, if it’s okay with you.”

  “So speaking my mind does make you uncomfortable?”

  “No, not in the least.”

  “Then you feel like I’m threatening your manhood?”

  Seth offered her a boyish grin and shook his head. “I’m quite confident in my manhood. But I just thought we could have dinner, a few drinks, and be ourselves.”

  “What is that suppose to mean?” she pushed even further, her expression hardening, causing her bright red lips to lose their suppleness. “Do you think I’m being disingenuous?”

  “Actually, I’m hoping you are.”

  “Well, I’m not.”

  “Don’t’ you ever get tired of being a hard-ass? At work I understand, our profession demands a certain level of intimidation. But when you’re at home or out with someone, don’t you want to let your hair down and enjoy being a woman?”

  “Seth, I’m sorry, but you’re sounding like a Neanderthal. Women like June Cleaver don’t exist anymore. We don’t need a man to take care of us and protect us anymore, and surely that’s not what you’re looking for?”

  Suddenly regretting his decision to extend a dinner invitation, Seth finished his drink and debated whether to call it an evening, or go through with it. As a gentleman, he knew it would be rude to end the date at this point, so he would suffer through the next few hours if he had to, but he refused to continue the current line of questioning.

  “I apologize if I offended you.”

  “You haven’t,” she reassured him, sounding resigned to the fact that this would be their first and last date. “But can I ask you to be honest with me about something?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Why did you call me, really?”

  “I honestly don’t know.”

  Jacqueline blinked a few times, as if his confession had hurt. She looked around at couples sitting at nearby tables, as if she envied them. Seth had a hunch this wasn’t her first date that had gone badly. Deep beneath her tough exterior was a woman who longed to have a man in her life, whether she cared to admit it or not.

  “Will you do me favor, then,” she finally asked when she faced him again.

  “Sure, you name it.”

  “Don’t call me again until you do.”

  Reaching across the table, he wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed them.

  “I won’t,” he promised.

  Leaving Jacqueline’s hotel room at two in the morning after she had finally dozed off, Seth made his way down the corridor to his own suite, regretting the alcohol induced urge to sleep with her. It was the first and last time he would go back on the promise he made to himself. But the truth was they had used each other. It didn’t make it right, but at least it helped cope with the guilt he was feeling.

  By two: thirty he was showered and more than ready to call it a night. Tomorrow was Saturday, and he would be returning home to Amherst. The week in New York was spent in front of members of the SEC, defending his firm against accusations of security fraud and laundering. Although it wasn’t the first time they had been investigated, it was the first time he had actual cause for concern. The division of the corporation being investigated was the division managed by William Richards, his father.

  Edward Collins had always cursed his own decision to let his son-in-law become partner, but did so for the sake of his daughter, his only child. And it wasn’t that Seth was already accusing him of any wrong doing. But after working side by side with his father for twenty years, and cleaning up the messes he made, it gave him cause to question the man’s competency.

  If the accusations of the SEC were true and the findings of their investigation founded, Seth had no problem with letting the old man take the responsibility for it. If he felt the need to hide dealings he made from the other senior partners and Seth, with blatant disregard for the future of the firm, then he deserved no legal help from the firm, or his son.

  With his fingers itching to dial his home number, Seth sat slumped on the bed from exhaustion and too much bourbon. It was too late and too early to call Tess now. They hadn’t spoken in almost a week. When she called him, he was in meetings and couldn’t take the call, and when he called her, she was out, or in between classes. When he checked the miss calls to see if Tessa had even tried to reach him, he saw that there were ten of them from his mother, whose last call missed was at two o’clock. With a sigh, hit redial.

  “Mother.”

  “Seth, where have you been?”

  “I’m good, Mother. How are you?” he scoffed sarcastically.

  “How are things going? You’re father is terribly upset, and regrets that he couldn’t make the trip. Oh, and Justin wanted me to call you and let you know he failed the bar exam again.”

  Letting his head fall back against the bed, Seth cringed inwardly from the shrill sound of his mother’s voice. She was drunk, as usual.

  He rubbed the bridge of his nose in agitation. “You called at two in the morning to tell me this?”

  The hesitation in his mother’s response gave him warning that there was more, so he kept his eyes closed waiting for what was about to come.

  “Dear, your father is being audited by the IRS.”

  Refusing to even acknowledge her last statement, Seth decided to focus on his nephew.

  “What are Justin’s plans now? This is his fourth attempt at the bar.”

  “He does have a MBA, you know. You’re father suggested he take the job with Lehman.”

  “I know he has an MBA, Mother, I paid for that, too. But our agreement was if I took care of the tuition, he would eventually step in and take over the firm.”

  “Well, I’m sorry, that’s just not going to happen, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

  “You’re wrong. I can turn it over to Jennings and Smyth and be done with it.”

  “You can’t do that, Seth. It would destroy your family. We’ll lose everything. You know that.”

  “You and dad should have enough tucked away for retirement by now that it shouldn’t matter. And as far as my sisters and their husbands are concerned, they’ve been living off my generosity for far too long. It’s time they learn to fend for themselves.” Releasing a weary sigh, Seth added, “I’m telling you now; as soon as this mess with the SEC is over with, I’m done.”

  “Please, Son, if you refuse to hold on to the inheritance for your family, then do it for me. Do it for your mother.”

  “I think spending twenty years in a career you despise is more than anyone can expect.”

  “Oh, why didn’t he leave it to me,” she wept, sensing that her son had finally reached his breaking point.

  “Because he couldn’t stand your husband, Mother. God, I wish you realized how much I hate the fact I was drawn into the middle this.”

  “If you hadn’t made that promise, we would have all suffered, because you know good and well your precious Mems would’ve never given us a cent.”

  “My precious Mems is your mother, you always seem to forget that until you need something from her.”

  “Seth! Don’t be smart with me! Everything that rightly should have been mine was given to you: the estate, the money, the firm. You have no right to jud
ge me, or anyone else. You’re not the one who has had to grovel at her feet all these years.”

  “Between Mems and myself, we’ve given everyone everything we had the legal right to offer you. We didn’t write the will, Mother. And you know exactly what the provisions are.”

  The conversation left him needing another stiff drink.

  “I love you, Mother, and I honestly do respect the fact that you’ve stuck by your husband all these years, even though he doesn’t deserve it. But I’m seriously thinking about giving it all away. When I make my final decision, I’ll tell the old man, myself.”

  “Please, son, I’ve never asked you for anything.”

  Really?

  Spending his childhood making up lies about why his parents didn’t want him; picking up the pieces in his young adult years every time the old man fucked up, meant nothing? Sobering her up before company came over so no one would find out about her drinking problem, cleaning up vomit after a binge caused by another one of his father’s affairs, didn’t account for anything? Obviously, they recalled the past differently.

  “I’m hanging up, Mother.”

  “Promise me you’re not going to do anything rash.”

  “I’ve never been given the opportunity to be rash; my family seems to have the corner market on it, so why would I start now?”

  “Thank you, then I know you’ll do the right thing. Good night, Son.”

  Staring straight forward at the complimentary bar across the room, Seth sat motionless for nearly two hours, considering his options. The bourbon glistened brightly in the crystal decanter, promising to anesthetize him from the disappointment he was feeling. But he refused to give into temptation. The last thing he wanted was to end up like his mother, though he realized he was well on his way if he didn’t change his behavior. It was times like this that he missed his wife. Not because she had been the sort of woman he could share his inner most fears with, but because he longed for a warm familiar body to comfort him.

 

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