On their last night there, as they all sat around the movie screen watching, A Christmas Story, with their bellies full of left-over turkey and pecan pie, Seth looked around and found that they had all nodded off, including Tessa. As she sat there, with her head back against the sofa, and her children snuggled around her, she reminded him of a protective mother bear and her cubs. The look on her face was one of pure, unadulterated, exhausted joy. Rene’s head rested on one shoulder, Shane’s on the other. Ann slept on the floor at her mother’s feet, and Lynn lied on the end of the sectional with her legs spread across Rene’s and Tessa’s laps.
Seth’s first instinct was to wake them so they could rest more comfortably in their beds, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, they all seemed to be exactly where they wanted to be, next to one another, touching, even if it was only with their feet. As he examined each one of their faces, he couldn’t help but to smile. To be so much alike in many ways, they all had their different roles.
Rene was the practical, sensible one, who was maybe more vulnerable than the others, but hid it beneath a very mature, responsible exterior. Having been the first born to a mother who was no more than a child herself had probably forced a tremendous amount of responsibility on her at a very young age. Upon first meeting her, Seth had felt a strong connection with her, and a very real desire to offer her a reprieve from her worry so she could be free to enjoy her life as a beautiful, ambitious young woman.
Shane, of course, being the only son, sort of kept himself apart from the estrogen driven chaos, but ready and willing to step in when they needed some masculine grounding and support. He was also much quieter, but had no doubt learned at a young age that trying to get a word in edge wise was useless among such strongly opinionated females. But Seth also sensed an integrity in him that was uncommon, and would go a long way in helping him accomplish his goals. He was a born leader, and a young man who would end up doing extraordinary things with his life if given the support and encouragement he needed.
Sweet, gentle Ann; he couldn’t help but to fall in love with her instantly. A gorgeous young lady; creative and tender-hearted to a fault; she reminded him most of Tessa. Already—even though he had only met her—he worried that her need to be pleasing would cause her to be easily hurt and manipulated by a world who would view it as a weakness, and not strength. Out of all of them, she brought out his fatherly instincts to protect.
And last but not least was Lynn. Her sense of humor and ability to make others laugh charmed him to no end. How anyone that young could be so cynical and self-deprecating was nothing short of amazing. When she walked in and smiled, the whole room lit up. From the moment she asked if he was going to be her new daddy, Seth realized the game was on, and if he was going to keep up with her wit, he had to stay on his toes and be ready for anything. He also knew she would be the first to unleash hell’s fury if he dared say anything derogatory against her mother.
Just as Seth was about to get up and leave the young family to spend their last night together, Ann raised her head and looked around confused and a little frightened, still too asleep to realize where she was.
“It’s okay, Ann, you’re safe,” he told her when she pushed herself up to her arms.
She simply nodded and stumbled her way over to the chaise lounge where she stretched out. Seth waited until she settled in, and then spread the blanket over her.
“Good night, Mr. Richards.”
“Good night, Ann.”
“Thank you for everything.”
“It’s been my pleasure, now get some sleep,” Seth said before adding a few more logs to the fire to ensure that they stayed warm throughout the night, and then settled back into the recliner so that he could remain close by in case anyone else awoke in the middle of the night and needed him.
Chapter Seventeen
“I love you Mom,” Lynn whispered, giving her mother one last embrace before boarding.
Tessa’s heart was breaking, it was evident, but Seth could tell she refused to end their happy reunion on a sad note. So with one last squeeze, she forced herself to let go and say goodbye with a smile on her face.
“I love you too, angel. I’ll see you in a few months.”
“Yep, that’s right, you promised—you’re spending spring break with me.”
“I’ll be there.”
After another round of embraces and sincere thank yous aimed at Seth, the six of them waved to one another for the last time, leaving Tessa and Seth to watch as they disappeared through the bridge. They stood together as they watched the plane maneuver away from the terminal, heading for the runway. Within the few minutes, it began to accelerate and took off. Neither Seth nor Tessa moved until it was out of sight.
Placing a supportive arm around Tess’ shoulders, he whispered, “Come on, let’s go home.”
Tessa nodded in agreement, still unable to speak for fear of loosing control over the sobs she held at bay.
The drive back to Amherst was spent in silence for the most part; Tessa, because she was obviously already missing her children, and Seth, because he had no idea how to handle his feelings for his housekeeper.
When they finally arrived home, Seth let the dogs out of the vehicle and allowed them to run free, which they were more than happy to do; chasing one another through the snow at full speed and tumbling in their joy. Watching their antics finally caused both of their moods to brighten a bit, and when he reached over and embraced her tightly, Tessa rested her head against him as if she welcomed his supportive gesture.
Both of them remained lost in their own thoughts throughout the evening meal and during the clean up afterwards. It wasn’t until they retired to the sofa with a cup of tea that they finally looked at each other and started laughing at their own moroseness.
“Is it always this hard when they leave?” Seth chuckled, rolling his head toward her as it rested on the back of the sofa.
“Always,” she smiled.
“I don’t know how you do it. I feel like I’m going through empty nest syndrome, and they’re not even mine.”
“That’s sweet of you to say. Thank you.”
“I’m not just saying it, I mean it.”
Tessa grinned, and gave him a brief kiss to the cheek. In response, Seth reached over and stroked her face with the back of his fingers. They stared at each other knowingly.
“Tessa, I’ve wanted to talk to you about something for a few weeks now.”
Giving him her full attention, Tessa sat sideways and nodded.
“Of course.”
Seth grinned, “I mentioned this before, but I think it’s time we discuss it a little further. And I hoping you would give me some honest feedback.”
“I always do.”
“And I’ve come to rely on it.”
“Okay, so stop stalling and tell me.”
“Well, I guess I’ll start at the beginning. As you know, when my grandfather died he left me everything under the stipulation that I take over the firm. I would also be responsible for the distribution of a small trust he left my mother, to ensure that my old man didn’t whittle it away.”
“Yeah, I remember you saying something about it. Don’t get me wrong, it was very generous of your grandfather, but why didn’t he just divide things up among all of you? That way there wouldn’t be any hurt feelings?”
“My old man and my grandfather hated each other. Pops only gave him a job because my mother pleaded with him. I guess there wasn’t a law firm in the country at the time that would touch him because of some trouble he was in with government. And Pops sure as hell wasn’t about to leave anything to her while she was still married to him; so if I hadn’t agreed to the terms of the will, it would have been sold and my mother and father would have been left with nothing. As it stands now, my father still has a job, and I’m able to give my mother a percentage of her trust every month as long as it stays in my hands.”
“But?” Tessa asked, taking up his hand that rested on her
knee.
“But,” he continued, smiling nervously, “I’m miserable. I’ve been waiting for twenty years for one of my sisters’ children to take over so that I can retire, but they’re not interested, especially since they’re still pissed at Pops for not leaving them an inheritance.”
“Why would he put you in such a difficult position? Didn’t he realize how much resentment it would cause?”
“I don’t know,” Seth shrugged. “He always claimed my mother and sisters were spoiled and ungrateful. He felt that no matter what he did or how much he gave, it was never enough. And he was right. Pops might have been a hard man, but he was a good man.”
“So why are you telling me this, Seth?”
When he searched her eyes, they were full of patience and understanding. He had been waiting a long time to have someone in his life he could to talk to about this, now that she sat there beside him, Seth wasn’t sure if could.
“I’ve decided to give it all up. I don’t want any of it. I’ve been going back and forth about this for a couple years, but this isn’t what I want. It isn’t me…it never has been.”
“Then what’s the problem, just do it?”
“I’ll be letting my family down. If I walk away they’ll lose everything.”
“Just give it to them. It’s yours now, right?”
“Legally, I can’t do that. And even if I could, I made a promise to a dying old man, and I’m not about to go back on it. Everything will go to charity. I think in a lot of ways, he resented his money as much as I do.”
Tessa offered him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. “Seth, you need to do what is right for you. It sounds to me as if your grandfather would respect your decision. And I think having the courage to do this is a wonderful way to honor his memory.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You know I am, but I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“This decision will affect you, too, Tess. Chances are by this time next year, I’ll be self-employed and living off my personal savings until my business starts to turn a profit. It could take a few years.”
“Seth Richards! Don’t you dare worry about me! I can always find another job, and I have more than enough money put away to find me another place to live. In fact, there’s this cutest Victorian cottage in town that has a For Rent to Own sign up in the window. I’ve been saving up for it for months now. It’s a little run down, but with some elbow grease and TLC, it could be beautiful!”
The enthusiasm in her voice made him smile, though the idea that she had been secretly planning on leaving saddened him. Why did she feel as if she couldn’t say anything to him about it, especially since it seemed to make her so happy?
“Then consider it yours, as a gift from me as severance pay.”
“No. I can’t let you do that.”
“But I want to.”
“Well, you can’t always get what you want. You don’t even know how much it costs.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Look, I appreciate the offer, but I want to do this on my own.”
“Stop being so stubborn. Spending time with your family is what finally helped me make this decision. I want to do this for you.”
Tessa waived off the offer and left the sofa. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Why?”
“Because it is.” Making her exit, she lied and told him she had things to do. But before she reached the foyer, Seth caught her elbow.
“You can go ahead and throw your little tantrum, but I’m not going to give up that easy.”
Tessa stopped and turned around, looking up at him with determination. “If and when I buy a house, it’s going to be with my own money. I’m not going to let you take that away from me. It’s too important. ”
“Where are you going to get the money or the time for renovations? You’re in school, Tess, for God’s sake, and will be for the next four or five years. What? Are you going to live in a house that’s falling down around you until you’ve graduated? And when you do, chances are you’re not going to find a job around here. You’ll never be able to sell it.”
By the expression on her face, Seth could tell she was taking what he was saying into consideration.
“Then forget the house, I’ll rent a studio apartment.”
“Why, so you can throw your money away on something that you’ll never get a return from? You need to be practical, Tess.”
“Practical has never been a word to describe anything I’ve ever done. But I’m sure you know that.” It was more of an accusation against him, than an honest statement about herself, he could tell by the irritation flashing in her eyes.
“I’m not trying to insult you. I’m trying to help you.”
“I don’t need your help,” she said coolly, pulling her arm free from his grasp. “I’ve managed to get this far in life without you, so I’m sure I can manage once you’re gone.”
“Why do you have to always be so goddamn proud?” Seth snapped, quickly losing patience. “If you would stop and think things through every once in a while maybe you and your children’s lives would be a hell of a lot easier. I’m sure they would appreciate a little more consistency on your part. It can’t be easy picking up the pieces every time you screw up.”
Appearing as if he had physically struck her rather than offer her some much needed criticism and honesty, Tessa took a step back and stared at him with a wounded expression on her face.
“You’re such an arrogant bastard,” she spat, before storming away. “I’m tired of you acting as if you have to pay me for my friendship. I’m not a whore!”
“No, you’re more like a reckless child!” he called out through the house.
Balling up his fist in frustration, Seth mumbled several curse words of his own. This was not how he wanted the evening to go. He had every intention of telling her how he felt; how the main reason for him asking her to leave his employment was so they could perhaps begin to build a more personal relationship. And they simply couldn’t do that as long as she saw him as her employer. They needed to view each other as equals, which may never happen now that he had lost his composure.
But Seth did not regret speaking his mind, as hard as it was to see the disappointment on her face. He knew all too well what her children had had to go through; he saw it in the level of their maturity that was far beyond their years. It was what happened when a child is forced into the role of a parent by impulsive adults.
Not that he held Tessa entirely responsible for what seemed to be her inability to make reasonable, mature decisions, especially when it came to their financial well-being. Even though he knew nothing about psychology, years of emotional and physical abuse had to take their toll on the victim’s ability to rationalize. In fact, he was amazed and extremely proud of how she had been able to keep it together and accomplish the things she had. It was a testament to her character.
Upon entering the small galley kitchen in Tessa’s apartment some thirty minutes later, Seth found her searching frantically through the cupboards. He leaned against the door fasten, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence. Technically, he had no right to be there, this was her private space, her home, and reserved the option to decide who could and could not enter. But technicalities were not high on his list of priorities right now. He screwed up, and he needed to apologize.
After several more minutes passed, it became obvious that he would be waiting there a very long time before she calmed down enough to speak to him, so Seth took the initiative.
“I’m sorry, Tess. I had no right to say that.”
Even though she still refused to look at him, she finally responded. “Your house, Boss Man, you can say whatever you want.”
Hating when she called him that, Seth decided to remain silent long enough to get past the frustration it caused, choosing instead to admire the way she looked when she was angry. Even though she stood there in a fi
t of rage, slamming drawers in one of his old Harvard tee shirts she had refused to let him throw away that hung to mid-thigh, and a pair of knee high tube socks, she was nothing short of ravishing.
“What are you looking for, Tess?” It was an inane question, but he had to broach the silence to keep his mind off the fact that he wanted her now, desperately.
“The number to a leasing office in Amherst, that Gregory gave me.”
“So, he’s been helping you plan your escape, I see.”
“Believe it or not, I’m fully capable of leaving here whenever I want, without anyone’s help.”
“As your past can attest to, I’m sure,” he jeered, unable to disguise the hurt. “Let’s see, on your résumé I think it showed six different jobs in six years. I’d say you have leaving down to an art form.”
“Only when it comes to jobs. I tend to be pretty reliable when it comes the people I love, especially when they need me.”
The insinuation hit its mark. Seth almost reeled from the impact. So sweet, little Tessa Maguire had a mean streak after all, and she wielded it with the precision of an upper cut to the jaw.
“Touché,” he said quietly, but only after he was able to recover from her remark and regain his bearings.
A brief flash of regret softened her expression before it disappeared just as quickly behind the spitefulness in her response. “Don’t screw with me when I’m angry, Seth, because you’ll lose.”
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