by Kris Jayne
“Grandpa! Grandma! Are you making biscuits? Dad said we were making breakfast.”
Nora made world-class buttermilk biscuits. Jeff suspected they were on the menu. Following his father into the kitchen, he watched as his dad dropped bags of ingredients on the counter. One bag contained buttermilk, butter, and his mom’s favorite White Lily flour.
“We’re making all your favorites, Olivia. Biscuits, pancakes, bacon.” Frank turned to Jeff. “Your mother didn’t know if you had what we needed, so we brought everything. I told her you probably had eggs in the house.”
“I do, but this is good. Go wash your hands Olivia, and you can help Grandma cook.”
Once his daughter left, Nora seized the moment.
“Tell me you and Taryn aren’t in serious trouble,” she said in a loud, hoarse whisper.
Jeff ran both hands through his hair and dropped his head to one side. “Mom. It’s not as simple as that.”
“How hard can it be, Jeffrey? She is the best thing ever to happen to you and Olivia. You were on your way to being a real family. Tell me you aren’t letting you know who muck up the works. Honestly.” She rolled her eyes heavenward. Nora carefully measured flour into a large mixing bowl and slapping the side of the measuring cup with her fingertips.
“I’m sure Dad filled you in on what happened.” Jeff kept his references vague. Olivia had come running back to the kitchen.
“I suppose, but I feel like I must have missed something because it makes no sense to me at all why you’d be upset with Taryn.” His mother shook her head at him.
“I wouldn’t have expected it to,” Jeff grumbled.
“No need to get snide, Jeffrey,” his mom responded.
“I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s not easy.”
Olivia perked up at the mention of Taryn’s name.
“Is Taryn coming over? She loves biscuits.”
“Not today, honey.”
“Did you have a fight?”
“We had a disagreement, but we’re fine. Why don’t you get the rolling pin for your grandmother?”
“Is Shannon coming over?”
“No. Your mom isn’t coming over today either. It’s just us McConnells.”
Jeff tried to smile. Olivia squinted at him. She wasn’t buying Jeff’s “we’re fine,” but she pulled the rolling pin from a drawer and slipped it onto the kitchen island, where her grandmother lightly tossed cold, grated butter into the flour.
“Thank you, sweetie. I’ll need that in a few minutes. First, we need to pop this into the freezer. Keeping everything cold is the key to good biscuits. Go open the door for me.”
Jeff watched Olivia skip over to the freezer door as Nora had asked. He didn’t need to involve Olivia in this conversation.
“How was your week, Dad? Anything new?” Jeff asked his father and gave him a pleading look.
“You know, same old, same old with me. Retirement is retirement.” Jeff could see the wheels turning as his father racked his brain for more to say. “Oh, your mother and I were thinking about taking a vacation this fall. Some friends of ours are going to a resort in Turks and Caicos. There was another couple going, but they dropped out. They’ve already rented a house and everything.”
“I thought you didn’t want to go? You said Harold and Adena get on your nerves,” Nora expounded.
“I only asked how big the house was. I don’t want to be tripping over each other. That Harold only has two topics of conversation: power tools and politics.”
“I remember them. I had to block Harold’s emails. I don’t know how he got my address. He’s always sending out these crazy conspiracy theories about the President.” Jeff laughed. “You’re not a fan?”
“Uh, no,” Frank muttered.
Having successfully delayed the ass-chewing his mother would certainly give him, Jeff made eggs and bacon. Once they finished cooking, the whole clan sat down to a big country breakfast such as he hadn’t had in a while.
For a moment, all he had on his mind was the comforting scene around him. The smells of home-cooked food. The sound of his daughter’s laughter. He took in the easy way his parents went back and forth over nonsensical things. These weren’t arguments, but they picked and teased and laughed together. His mom slapped his father’s hand when he reached for his fourth biscuit. In response, he rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, giving her a smacking kiss on the back of it.
“Woman, if you don’t want me eating ‘em then you shouldn’t make ‘em so good,” Frank crooned. Olivia cackled and blew Nora her own smacking kiss.
“Everything in moderation, Frank, my love. Gluttony is a sin.”
“Wonderful. Now I feel like I did get to church, and the sermon only lasted two seconds. Hallelujah,” Frank smirked.
Jeff grinned.
Was it too much to ask for his life to be this calm and happy? He wanted peace. He hoped he could have that with Taryn. Doubt now crept in about whether he could have that with Taryn and Shannon.
It made him sick to think of it, but the truth was, he couldn’t get rid of Shannon. They were bound together forever through Olivia. He’d thought he could get Taryn to get along with Shannon and to realize that was what’s good for her stepdaughter.
Taryn couldn’t seem to let go of her jealousy and her suspicion. Could he ever convince her to stop working to take Shannon down? How many times did he have to tell her that what he’d decided to do was to take a positive approach and help her improve her life so she could be a good mom? That approach didn’t seem any harder to him than staying at a constant simmer over Shannon’s presence.
If Jeff were honest with himself, he couldn’t be sure it was a good idea to marry a woman who didn’t trust him and who couldn’t support him in this one major decision. Getting the courts involved was maybe the last straw. They should be managing their family issues within the family.
After breakfast, Nora took Olivia upstairs to get her bath and get dressed, leaving the men alone downstairs to clean up and to talk.
“Would you call off the wedding over all of this?” Frank asked.
“I don’t know, Dad. It seems impossible. I love Taryn. I can’t imagine not having her in my life. I want to marry her more than anything, but she has a block when it comes to Shannon. I don’t know if it’s jealousy or if she just hates her. I don’t know.”
“Jealousy?”
“Because Shannon is Olivia’s mom. I mean, the plan was for Taryn to adopt Olivia and be her mother—legally and officially. Now that’s gone. Now there’s this other woman that’s in Olivia’s life.”
“And in yours.”
“Shannon’s not in my life like that, Dad. No part of me wants to get back together with Shannon.”
“But you’re taking care of her.”
“I’m helping her for Olivia’s sake.”
“Is that all?”
Jeff dropped his towel on the kitchen table. “What?”
“Is all this helping Shannon just for Olivia? Giving her money for an apartment and bailing her out of jail. Ignoring the fact that she stole from you. Or that she could be back on drugs.”
“Yes. If Shannon is on her own two feet, that’s the best thing for Olivia.”
“But is Shannon on her two feet or your two feet?” Frank asked and glared directly at his son. “Maybe half her feet and half of yours? You always felt responsible for her. Remember that time in high school when she was caught shoplifting?”
“She took some make-up and clothes from Mom’s friend’s shop.”
“You flew down do that store, paid for what she took, and begged Mrs. Engle not to press charges. You brought Shannon home, and I remember how she looked at you. All wide-eyed and full of hero worship. That’s a powerful thing for a woman to look at a man like that. When she makes you feel that she wouldn’t know what to do without you. But there’s a line Jeff between depending on a man and being dependent. Or co-dependent.”
“Co-dependent? You sound like Dr. Phil.”
His dad thought he was doing all this for his ego? Jeff thought about his life. He had plenty enough to make him feel important and proud. He was a successful guy about to sell his business for millions of dollars. He was a great dad. If he needed to feel like a hero, all he had to do was look at his daughter.
He knew that Taryn needed him. Maybe not like Shannon did, but that’s what he loved about Taryn. She was smart and capable and ambitious. She set goals and reached them. He never had to worry about whether Taryn would get herself mired in some desperate situation that required him to move heaven and earth to fix. He didn’t need that. He didn’t need the drama.
“I’m not co-dependent. I’m trying to help the mother of my child.”
“You’re telling me you never get a charge from swinging into Shannon’s life and doing what no one else has ever done for her? That kind of thing creates a bond, Jeff. It’s easy to get used to feeling that way. Rescuing women is romantic. Until it’s not.”
Frank slid a clean, wet skillet into the draining rack in the sink.
“I’m not trying to be anybody’s hero,” Jeff protested.
“Alright. But even if you aren’t, you have to see how Taryn might see it that way. When was the last time you were a hero for her?”
He hadn’t needed to be a hero for Taryn. Jeff paused to think back to when they first met. Taryn had loved how committed he was to Olivia and his family. She’d been full of admiration for his life as a single dad. That had felt good. Lately, Taryn hadn’t exactly been full of love and wonder at that same commitment to family.
“It’s different with Taryn,” Jeff said. “This isn’t about needing hero worship. I need her to believe in me.”
“I know. And look, Taryn is strong and independent. Hell, she can even be pushy and bossy, which reminds me of someone else I know,” Frank commented with sly smile. “But she stands for what she believes in, and you’ll never convince me she doesn’t believe in you. She doesn’t believe in Shannon, and you can’t blame her for that.”
“That doesn’t excuse her going behind my back.”
“I suppose not, Son. But think it over and be sure that’s what’s happening before you do something foolish.”
“Alright. I get it. Now can you do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Can you help me head mom off at the pass? You know how she feels about Taryn. I can’t deal with another storm right now. Mom looks thunderous.”
“I’ll handle your mother. Don’t you worry.” Frank winked at Jeff and slapped him on the back. “Now get back to work.”
Chapter Forty-Four
A sweltering humidity greeted Shannon the second she opened the door to her apartment.
At least outside a northern breeze cooled off the now-warming spring temperatures. Kid hadn’t turned on the air conditioning. What he had done, Shannon noted, was empty the apartment of its remaining valuables.
Loose curls of disconnected cords sat draped across the small, pressboard entertainment center where her TV once sat. In the bedroom, Shannon found her small jewelry box empty. She hadn’t harbored the crown jewels or anything, but she did have some gold chains and earrings that were probably melted at some strip mall gold-for-cash store by now.
She sat on the bed. He’d pulled out dresser drawers and tossed her things everywhere. He’d taken his limited wardrobe with him. What else had Kid expected to find that required wrecking the place? She didn’t have anything before. Now, she had even less.
When Shannon called Kid from jail, she’d asked him if he had any money or any way to help her. From the first slurred syllable of his response, she’d known he wouldn’t be of any help. So she’d swallowed her pride, which went down easy, and called Jeff. He had saved her. Again. She still had another hearing to challenge the results of her drug test, but at least now, she could sleep in her own bed instead of lying awake and wary in a jail cell.
Shannon closed her eyes to the mess around her and fell back on the bed, immobilized by fatigue. Sleeping in jail was nearly impossible. The noise. The fights. The fear. All of it kept her up until sleep overwhelmed her with regular periods of nodding off.
It sucked getting picked up right before the weekend. You have no chance of getting sprung quickly. The days stretched out around her giving Shannon time to think. She was done.
The self-condemnation she felt over taking those pills weighed on her like cinder blocks tied around her feet, but she needed to cut it loose or she’d drown in her own stupidity. She needed to move on from drugs and pills, and from Kid. She’d been doing so well with working and spending time with Olivia.
How could she have let a few stray comments from Jeff’s girlfriend send her down the rabbit hole? Who cared what she thought? Shannon knew she’d never be Taryn with her manicured…everything. But she didn’t have to be.
As Jeff dropped her off at the apartment and sent her upstairs, he’d said something to her that she had to cling to.
“You’ve run out of chances to do better, Shannon. I believe that you can, but at some point, you have to do it. On your own. I’m done. What’s possible only counts when it becomes reality.”
Shannon dug into her hand with her fingernail to keep from screaming when Jeff said that. It meant everything to her that, after all that happened, he still helped her. She couldn’t afford to burn another bridge behind her as she moved through life.
Shannon waded through the dim apartment to the bathroom and clicked on the light, which flickered for three or four times before remaining steady. She pulled out the drawer next to the sink where she put the pill bottle she’d found the other day. The bottle was, of course, gone with Kid. Thankfully.
She thought back to if there were any other places where she’d hide pills. Shannon stormed back into the bedroom and to the closet.
One by one, she pulled out her dozen handbags and emptied them on the floor. Two or three pills dropped to the carpet. Shannon gathered them and flushed them down the toilet. Now was the time to get straight. She’d lapsed, but she hadn’t fallen headlong into her addiction again.
Maybe it was all for the best. During her brief phone call with Kid, all he told her was that with her in the clink, he’d be taking off for a few days. Shannon picked up her cell phone and rang Kid’s phone. Maybe she could figure out if he planned on coming back.
“You out now?”
“Hello to you too.”
“Whatever. What do you want?”
“I’d like my TV, but I guess it’s gone.”
“I sold it. Next.”
Shannon clenched her fist. “Look, I noticed you took your stuff.”
“I told you I was taking off for a few days. I’ll be back. In the meantime, maybe try to not to get arrested again. Not exactly helping your case with your golden boy.”
Kid’s phlegmy laugh taunted her.
“I can’t have messed things up too bad. Jeff did get me out of jail—unlike you.”
“It’s easy enough to post bond when you’re fucking rolling in money. Speaking of which, you know some of that stuff we talked about?”
All Shannon wanted to do was to get a feel for where Kid’s head was. Now, she got it. She wasn’t sure what “stuff” he meant. They’d talked about all kinds of stupid schemes that Shannon knew now she couldn’t support. Kid kept talking.
“I got some things in the works. You still think you could get the alarm codes?” he asked.
Shannon stifled a scream. She’d never agreed to get him alarm codes. Kid always chose to remember what he wanted.
“I told you there was no way I could do that. And I can’t help you now. I’m not going back to jail, Kid. Besides, won’t they know it was an inside job if the alarm doesn’t go off?”
“You don’t need to worry about that. None of us want to go jail.” Kid chuckled and coughed.
“Yo
u sick?”
“A little. Getting over it. Look, I gotta go. You around tomorrow night? There’s a couple of things I want to get lined up.”
“No. I’m going out to dinner with Olivia.”
“He’s letting you take the kid on your own?”
“Uh, no. We’re going together with his mom. And, I don’t know, probably Taryn too.”
“Sounds like clean family fun.” Kid wheezed another guffaw.
“Whatever.”
She thought about dropping a hint that she didn’t want him living with her anymore, but decided against it. Kid might think he could do whatever he was up to with God knows who and then wander back into her life. Not this time, buddy. But she’d have to go easy.
Shannon would talk to her custody attorney about her escape plan. With Kid gone, she could do some of the things she’d been afraid to do. She could change the locks so Kid couldn’t get back into the apartment. She could also sort out her work situation. Shannon didn’t know if her job at the Wal-Mart would be waiting for her. She’d no-showed over the weekend. Chances were, her boss had already fired her. That might be better though. She needed to find work somewhere new where Kid didn’t know where she’d be.
Shannon wondered if he’d ever find his way back from the muddle of drugs that had sent his life spiraling. If they’d both had their acts together, it might have been good.
She remembered the day he picked her up from rehab. They’d stopped at a Denny’s for lunch, and he’d promised her that he’d go straight too. It was their second chance, he’d said. He’d even given her a gold-plated promise ring. He could be sweet. That was in him. Then she reminded herself that he could also be the devil. Shannon had no room for sentimentality about Kid.
One of the women she’d worked with had just left and started waiting tables at her friend’s restaurant. Kim said she could get Shannon a job there.