Pain bit her stomach. “No, Jace, that isn’t what I’m saying. Please, don’t misunderstand.”
“I’m glad to be here with you, Bree, but I know there’s a road you have to go down. I get it. I’m a detour. You’re gonna have to go down that road eventually.”
He’d articulated her thoughts perfectly. Jace was a distraction. A detour.
“Maybe you could stay another day?”
He smiled. “That could be arranged.”
The mountains, with their peaks illuminated by the full moon, took her breath away. Or was it Jace? Probably both. “Oh…uh, where are you staying?”
“I stayed in that cabin right over there last night.” He pointed to her cabin. “I think they might let me stay there again tonight if I promise not to disturb the ‘little lady’ stayin’ on the other side.”
Bree closed her eyes and felt heat flush her cheeks. They hadn’t booked anyone else on the other side of the cabin, and she’d wondered about that. It must have been intentional. “They’ve been so good to me here.”
“They’re very protective of you.”
“They are?”
“Yep. The only reason they let me stay, last night, was because you weren’t here.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. Think you can put in a good word for me tonight?”
“I’ll do that,” she said softly.
He wanted to tell her he’d be there for her, on the other side of the cabin. If she wanted him to, he’d hold her when she cried. He’d comfort her, like he had one other night, when she’d begged him not to go.
The door opened, and Red came out on the porch with a key in his hand. “You’re welcome to bunk in the same place you did last night,” he said and went back inside.
Jace tucked the key in his pocket. “You ready to call it a night?”
“Not yet.” She sighed and put her head back on his shoulder.
“No hurry, sweet girl.”
“Is your leg okay?”
“What leg?”
He’d been tossing and turning for what seemed like hours when he heard the tap on the adjoining door. At first he thought he might have imagined it, but then he heard Bree say his name. He jumped out of bed, forgetting about his knee. It almost gave out on him, but he managed to hobble over to the door and open his side of it.
“Were you asleep?” she asked.
“No. Not even close.”
“Do you mind if I come in?”
“Not at all.” He stepped back to let her through the door. “Uh, can I get you anything? Something to drink?” He didn’t know why he made the offer. He wasn’t sure he had anything to give her if she said she did.
“No. I’d really just like, you know, I mean would you mind, uh…”
“No, I wouldn’t mind,” he answered, and led her over to the bed.
He held her until he was sure she’d fallen asleep, before he allowed himself to drift off.
When he woke the next morning, she was gone. He looked over at the adjoining door, now closed, and wondered if he’d dreamed the whole thing. There was only one way to find out.
“Bree?” He tapped on the double door. It took a minute, but he could hear her approaching footfalls.
“Good morning,” she said as she opened her side of the door.
He took her hand and pulled her toward him. “Good morning, Bree.” He put his arms around her and held her close. “When I woke up and you were gone, I was afraid last night had been a dream.”
“I’m sorry, I—”
“Shh. Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”
“I don’t know why I left.”
“It’s one thing for me to comfort you in the night. It’s another thing entirely for us to acknowledge that closeness by light of day.”
“It is?”
He nodded. “It is.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” he whispered as he drew her farther into his side of the cabin. “Come here with me, baby.”
“Jace, I can’t.”
“You can. It isn’t any different than last night.”
When he pulled her over to the bed, she didn’t resist. He pulled back the covers so she could crawl in, and got in next to her.
She rested her head on his shoulder, just where he wanted her.
“I want to do this when it’s daylight, so I can see you,” he murmured. “And know I’m not dreaming.”
“Do you dream about me?”
“All the time.”
“I dream about you, too.”
“Nice to hear.”
“Jace, I can’t—”
He put two fingers over her lips. “I know. I want to hold you close. That’s all.”
“Okay,” she said and snuggled back into him.
Jace had no idea what time it was. He must’ve drifted back to sleep. Bree was still snuggled against him, so he kissed the top of her head. He wanted to keep going, to kiss her lips and not stop until he had kissed every inch of her, but he didn’t.
Last night she told him she couldn’t. He understood. As much as he wanted to make love to her, it was too soon. She moved against him, and he cringed.
“Does your leg hurt?” she asked.
He hadn’t realized she was awake.
“No, my leg is okay.”
“You look like you’re in pain, Jace.”
He pulled her closer. “I am, darlin’, but it isn’t my leg that’s hurtin’.”
“Oh. I, uh…um…”
“Shh, now. It’s all good.” He closed his eyes, willing his body to stop reacting the way it was.
“Do you like to fish?” she asked.
There, that helped. Fish. Think about fish.
“Yes. I like to fish.” He sounded emphatic—even to himself—as if he was trying to convince her of it.
“Fly fish?”
“Haven’t ever tried it, darlin’. But I’d like to.”
She sat up so quickly, he almost fell out of bed. “I could teach you.”
He smiled. The way her face lit up was adorable. “I’d like that.”
She was out of bed, pulling him with her.
“Come on, let’s get a move on. The fish aren’t gonna wait around all day for you.”
“Do I have time for a shower?”
“A shower? Who are you? No, you don’t have time for a shower, cowboy. Jeez. Little dirt gonna hurt ya?”
Jace laughed out loud. “Nope, not at all. Let’s get at those fish.”
He’d barely gotten his boots on by the time she was marching off in the direction of the main lodge.
“Where you goin’?” he shouted after her.
“I gotta talk to Red about a couple things before we go. You wait here.”
5
Jace sat in the Adirondack chair and pondered his situation. Being with Bree was not something he could’ve predicted. She’d asked him to stay, last night, but that was it. What about later? After they fished, would she expect him to hop in his truck and drive back to Montana? He sure hoped not. Even if it couldn’t be forever, he longed to hold her next to him again. Would she let him?
Bree was walking toward him, fishing gear in hand. He rose to meet her.
“What’s all that?”
“Red’s gear. He’s letting you use it today. He also gave me permission to take you to one of his secret fishing spots, although I doubt it’s a secret to anyone who knows Red. Are you hungry?”
Was he? Hungry for her, no question. Hungry for food? Now that she mentioned it, he was.
“Don’t want to hold up the fishing trip,” he laughed.
“It’s okay. Red is having the kitchen put a basket of goodies together for us. I’m sure it’ll just be a few minutes until it’s ready.”
A couple of minutes later, Red brought them the promised picnic basket.
“I made her swear not to tell anyone about my fishin’ spot. You gotta do the same,” Red teased.
“Cross my heart,” J
ace answered.
“Same thing she said,” Red laughed. “And here she is, takin’ someone there already.”
“But he’s special,” Bree said, her cheeks turning pink.
Jace smiled. “Why, thank you, ma’am. You’re pretty special yourself.”
Red put the basket in the back of Jace’s truck.
“I hope you don’t mind the trailer sittin’ over there.” Jace pointed in the direction of where he and Wyatt had parked it next to a few others.
“No, I don’t mind. Y’all have a good day out there on the water. Mind you, son, she’ll out-fish you.”
“That’s a given, sir, since I’ve never fly-fished before.”
“Oh, boy,” Red answered as he turned and walked back toward the lodge. “Take care of my girl,” he added right before he opened the big, wooden lodge door.
“He’s taken a fancy to you.” Jace walked over so he was close enough to cup the side of her face with his palm.
“I remind him of his daughter.” Bree leaned into his hand.
Jace doubted she realized she did it.
“That right?”
“Yes.” Bree grew somber. “She passed away a long time ago. She was my age.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. One of the guys told me he lost his wife last year, too.”
That was news to her. She’d spent just about every day of the last couple of weeks with Red, yet it seemed as though Jace knew as much, or more, about him than she did.
She sighed. She was about to take Jace fly fishing with her. And she was going to teach him how to do it. This could go south very easily. Although, as she had to remind herself over and over again, she was here mourning Zack. Anything she did to help facilitate the grief she needed to force herself to face was ultimately a good thing. Right?
“Where’d you go?” he asked.
“Thinking about Zack. I can’t help it. I don’t want to help it. I hope you understand.”
“I do understand, Bree. And if you’ve changed your mind about fishin’, or about me being here today, you won’t offend me.”
She wouldn’t? Maybe he wanted to leave. Maybe he didn’t want to be around a woman mourning her late husband. It had been evident he’d wanted to do more than hold her this morning, but she’d told him she couldn’t. Did he understand that it wasn’t because she didn’t want to, that she just wasn’t ready?
“It’s up to you, Jace. I know I’m not the best company. If you want to leave…”
His arm moved around her shoulders so he could bring her in close. “I didn’t say that, Bree. There isn’t any place I’d rather be than with you.”
“You’re a charmer, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m not. I’m just a man who wants to spend some time with you. I’m not tryin’ to charm you, or seduce you, or anything else. Just time, Bree, that’s all I’m looking for.”
“So we’re friends. Just friends?”
“For now,” he winked at her.
Yeah, he wanted it to be more than that. Of course he did, but he was willing to wait. He had plenty of his own crap to sort through. She wasn’t alone in that. There, lingering in the back of his mind, was the thing that he never stopped thinking about—the situation with Tucker.
He’d fallen in love with, made love to, a woman he knew his brother was also in love with. And she’d been with Tucker first. There was something in his psyche that allowed him to do that. It was part of his character, and that wasn’t the kind of man he wanted to be.
While it seemed as though it was a lifetime ago, it wasn’t. It hadn’t been ten years since the accident took the life of the woman both he and his brother had loved. He couldn’t blame it on his youth. He wasn’t that much older now.
“My turn,” she said. “Where did you go?”
“Thinkin’ about Tuck. You see, Bree, I’ve got my own mourning to do. Even though it isn’t the same, I’ve lost my brother.”
“I don’t think you’ve lost him. He’ll come around. He’s just angry, and hurt.”
“Thought we were goin’ fishin’?” He needed to change the subject, or it was going to be a very depressing day for them both.
Bree pulled away from him and walked to the passenger door of his truck. He held it open for her, wanting so badly to lift her up into the seat, but more, he wanted to kiss her breath away. Maybe he should leave today, because resisting her was going to be increasingly harder to do.
Bree pointed to the mile marker on the right. “You turn off here,” she said. “And keep going straight down this dirt road for a mile or so.”
It didn’t look like a road to him. It looked more like a trail that a horse or a human could navigate on foot, not something a truck would be able to drive on. “You sure?”
She raised her eyebrow at him. “Can’t ever trust the girl knows what she’s talkin’ about, can you, Rice?”
Jace grinned. She was a feisty one. When they’d first met, it drove him crazy. She challenged everything he said, and she also accused him of being controlling. Which, he had to admit, he probably was. At least a little. Not with her though, never with her. This was a woman who knew her own mind and was never afraid to speak it.
It made him crazy with wanting her. He’d seen her softer side, and he craved it. When she let her guard down and let him comfort her, neither one of them needed to be in control.
“Jace? Are you listening?”
“What? No, I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said you missed the turnoff. You have to back up now, I don’t think there’s anywhere for you to turn around.”
“Damn. Sorry ’bout that, Bree. I got lost in thought there for a minute.” Jace put the truck in reverse, rested his arm on the back of the bench seat, and turned his head to see where he was going.
“What were you thinking about?”
He took his foot off the gas, and the truck stopped moving. “Fishin’,” he answered.
“I don’t believe you.”
He put the truck in park.
“Why are you stopping?”
“Because we gotta get somethin’ straight.”
“What’s that?” She folded her arms in front of her, like she did when she was about to rip into him for something.
“You can’t always ask me what I’m thinkin’ about.”
She lifted her chin. “Why not?”
“You aren’t always gonna like the answer, that’s why.”
She didn’t respond, and for a minute, Jace actually thought he’d shut her up. Wrong.
“You’re still hung up on my sister, aren’t you? That’s why you don’t want to tell me what you’re thinking about. And it’s also why you aren’t trying very hard to make up with Tucker.”
That stung. Sure, there had been a time when he believed he was in love with Blythe. And Bree was never going to let him forget it. Tucker had pulled one of his disappearing acts, and Jace felt it was his duty to be there for the woman his brother had gotten pregnant.
In hindsight, he might’ve believed that by selflessly stepping in to help Blythe, he would somehow atone for the sins of his past. It had been a ridiculous notion. One he wasn’t sure he had been consciously aware of at the time.
But to say that he wasn’t trying to make up with his brother, was like a slap across the face. He wanted nothing more than to find a way to get Tuck to forgive him.
“I knew it,” he heard her mumble.
“You don’t know anything,” he growled at her. “You think you’re so damn smart. You got it all figured out, don’t ya? Well, I tell ya, sister, you couldn’t be more wrong.”
“Uh huh.”
When she added self-righteousness to indignity it made him want to hit something. Instead he did the only other thing he shouldn’t do.
He grabbed her—there was no other word for it—and pulled her into him. His face was less than an inch from hers. He could feel her breathing accelerate; he could see the panic in her eyes, but neither stopped him.
“This is what I’ve been thinkin’ about, Bree.” He pulled her body into his and crushed his mouth into hers. Every other thought left his head, until he heard her whimper.
He broke away from her and sat back. “God, Bree, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She had the back of her hand over her mouth, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw them fill with tears.
“Shit, Bree. Dammit. I don’t even know what to say.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered.
“It isn’t okay.” He gently pulled her hand away from her mouth. “Did I hurt you? Jesus, what is wrong with me?”
A tear rolled down her cheek. It made him want to cry himself. “I’ll take you back now.”
He put the truck into gear and turned to back it up.
“I don’t want to go back.”
He wasn’t sure he heard her right. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“But—”
“Let’s fish, Jace. Can we, please, just fish?”
He studied her, looking for some sign that might tell him what she was thinking. He felt like an asshole for kissing her the way he had. How could she be so blind to the fact that he was thinking about her, not her sister? He got nothing. She turned her head and stared out the window.
“I’m sorry, Jace.”
“Wait. What? What are you sorry for?”
“Never mind.”
“Bree…you aren’t makin’ a whole lot of sense. Not that I am, either.”
“Which is why I want to fish. I don’t want to talk, Jace. I don’t want to talk about my sister, or that kiss, or…anything. I just want to fish.”
He waited to see if she’d say anything more. She didn’t.
“Okay, let’s fish, then.”
He backed the truck up to the point where he could take the turnoff he was supposed to take before.
“This way?” he asked.
“We’re almost there,” she answered. “Look for a big, red rock and park next to it.”
“It’s a bit of a walk. I didn’t think about that.”
Jace bent down and picked up a small branch. He ran his hand over it. “All set. Got my walking stick right here.”
Stay with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 4) Page 5