“Ride over.”
Two hours after Lyric dropped him off at Billy’s, Jace had one of the boarded horses saddled up and was headed across the field to see his brother, Tucker.
8
As Jace rode up, he could see his mom and dad out on the front porch. Tucker, Blythe, and the baby were with them. His father walked toward the railing and shaded his eyes with his hand. Moments later, his mom and dad went inside. Blythe followed them, carrying Cochran in her arms.
Jace held his breath. Would Tucker go in too? Would he shut him out? He felt sick to his stomach waiting to see what his brother would do.
Instead of going inside, Tucker walked down the steps of the porch. Jace reined in the horse and dismounted. He and his brother were still separated by no more than a hundred feet.
“Tucker.”
“Jace.”
He walked toward Tuck, holding the horse’s reins in his left hand. He had no idea what to say. This might have been easier if he’d taken a shot of whiskey before he left Billy’s place.
“I saw your paintings yesterday,” he said when they were within a couple of feet of one another.
“I know,” answered his brother.
“I don’t know what to say, Tuck.” Jace looked at his brother as tears filled his eyes.
“It’s usually me that comes crawling back with my tail between my legs. You’ve always made it easy for me.”
“This is different, Tuck. You never did anything—”
“Of course I did. Every time I left and expected you to clean up my mess, I did something.”
Jace saw the same pain he was feeling in Tucker’s eyes.
“I can’t tell you I understand, Jace. I don’t. I’m damn mad at you, and for a while I thought I hated you. But, I don’t. I couldn’t.”
“I would. I’d hate you if you’d done what I did.”
Tucker put his arms around Jace, hugging him. “No, you wouldn’t. And you wouldn’t have let so much time go by either.” He released him, but kept one hand on Jace’s shoulder. “But then you’ve always been a better brother to me than I’ve been to you.”
“How can you say that? Tuck, I fucked up pretty bad.”
“You did that.” Tucker’s gaze was penetrating. “But so did I. More than once.”
“I was just thinkin’ this would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if I had a drink before I rode over.”
“Then it’s time we had one. Come on inside. There’s somebody I want you to meet.”
Bree was out on the water when the text from Jace came through. It startled her since she so rarely had a signal when she was fishing.
In the photo he sent, Jace was holding baby Cochran on his lap and they were both waving at her. Her eyes filled with tears, of happiness for them, but sadness for her. She missed them both so much.
What she couldn’t explain was the feeling that came after. If she could put a name to it, it would be dread.
Tucker took Cochran to put him down for a nap, and Jace went back out on the porch by himself. When the door opened, he’d expected to see his brother, instead he saw Tucker’s wife.
He stood to hug her. “How are you, Blythe?”
“Better, now that you’re here.”
“Me, too.”
“How are you two doing?”
“Okay. Tentative. Haven’t talked too much yet. But it’s coming.”
“You met your nephew. He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”
“He is. Couple people told me he looks like me,” he laughed.
“Well, you and Tucker are twins.”
He laughed again. “That’s always my answer.”
The door opened again. This time his mom joined them. He opened his arms to her too.
“I’m proud of you, son.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
“Your daddy is proud of you too. Both of you. It takes a big man to own up to his mistakes. Too many people choose to walk away instead. That would have been as much of a tragedy as the one that started all of this.”
Jace wondered when the time would come that he and Tucker would be forced to sit down and talk about it. It had to be soon—he and his daddy were supposed to leave for Crested Butte in the morning. Maybe he should call Billy and tell him they might be delayed for a couple of days.
Blythe was chewing her fingernails, and his mother noticed.
“I’ll go back inside now.” She squeezed Blythe’s shoulder. “Let you two catch up.”
“Thanks,” Blythe looked up at her and murmured.
“How’s my sister?” she asked when Carol closed the door behind her.
“She’s good…I think.”
“I know you talk to her, Jace. She told me about the time you spent together. You can talk to me about her.”
“Yeah, I know. It isn’t a secret.” He laughed. “It. I don’t even know what it is.”
“You’ve helped her.”
“Have I? I don’t have any idea. I was there for her, for a few days anyway, but we didn’t talk much about Zack. We talked around him. More about the things they did together than things about him.” He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “She tells me she needs to do this on her own. That’s another thing I don’t know; what this is.”
“She grew up with Zack. When they met, she was a girl. With him, she became a woman. She expected to grow old with him.”
He knew Blythe was right. And he knew Bree was grieving. But how would she feel months from now? Would she still need him? Would she want him in her life?
Even without it being said, Jace knew he was nothing like Zack. Maybe when she came out of her fog of grief she’d want to be with someone more like Zack.
“She needs time,” he said. “And space.”
“You’re right about that.”
“I feel as though you’re trying to tell me something, in a roundabout way.”
“I think you should consider taking a step backwards.”
She couldn’t have hurt him worse if she’d stabbed him with a knife. “Can I ask why?”
“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“And there’s a reason you think I’m gonna?”
“I’ve seen you do this more than once.”
Jace wished Blythe would stop talking. He agreed with her; that was the problem. Jace was the fall-back guy. It had happened with Irene when she was trying to sort through her feelings for Billy, after she found out he’d had a baby with another woman.
Then again with Blythe. For a while he believed he was in love with her. Until Tucker came back. And then Jace was left by the wayside. Again.
Bree was brilliant. She was beautiful, and funny, and could do whatever she wanted with her life. She’d told him about some of the things she and Zack talked about. They’d planned to travel when he was able to take leave again. Most of what she told him didn’t sound that appealing. He didn’t admit it to her, but it made him question whether they considered the same kinds of things “fun.”
When she finished processing through her grief, and was ready to move forward with her life, would she realize how different he was from her late husband and, consequently, leave him in the dust, like Irene and Blythe had?
His world was pretty damn small compared to hers, and he wasn’t going to be in the position to change it. If anything, it would get smaller. The larger their operation got, the less he’d be able to be away from it. He’d travel to rodeos and stock shows, but that would be all he’d have time for.
If his daddy had asked his mama to settle down on a ranch when they were younger, he doubted if she would’ve agreed. The life of a rancher and a rough stock contractor wasn’t an easy one. Animals required care twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week—like kids did. He’d be tied to the land in Montana for years, maybe forever. He couldn’t envision her being happy with that kind of life.
“I’m what you’d call a ‘transition guy.’ Is that what you’re tryin’ to tell me, Blythe?”
&
nbsp; “Maybe. Maybe not. Bree is so much like my mom, and I’ve never been able to predict what my mom will do. I often wonder if she thought she was settling when she married my dad.”
“Settling?” That was harsher than he expected.
“Yeah. Then again, I might be full of shit, Jace.”
He was afraid she wasn’t.
“How did you manage to find me? Did you put a tracking device on my rental car?” Bree asked Red when she saw him walk out of the woods.
“I’m psychic,” he deadpanned.
“Right. So, you’re back.”
“I am. And you’re still here.”
“It sounds as though you were hoping I wouldn’t be.”
“Not at all. Before I left, I told you that I hoped you’d still be here when I got back.” He sat down on a rock and studied her.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Tryin’ to get a read on you, that’s all.”
“What kind of read?”
“How you’re doin’.”
She was better, or at least, she felt better today. She had no idea what tomorrow might bring.
“How long has your wife been gone?”
“Goin’ on two years. But it wasn’t sudden with her. I had time to prepare myself, say goodbye, that sort of thing.”
“Do you think it makes it easier?”
“I don’t know. Both my wife and daughter were very sick. Other than my brother, I haven’t lost anybody suddenly, the way you did. When he was killed, I was still a youngin.”
“Not saying goodbye—that’s the hardest thing for me. I still don’t feel as though I have.”
“It’ll come. You’ll know when you’re ready.”
Red looked off in the distance. Bree sensed there was more he wanted to say.
“What is it, Red?” she finally asked. “I’ve spent enough time with you to know when you’re leaving something unsaid.”
“The young man, Jace. What’s the story there?”
That was complicated. How did she describe her relationship with Jace? At first it had been love/hate, more hate than love. Then it changed. There was electricity between them. She’d never been so attracted to a man, not even Zack.
When she met Zack, she was fifteen. They waited three years before they made love. When she looked back, it was hard to believe they had. It had been easy between them, natural. She hadn’t felt the same sexual charge with Zack that she felt with Jace.
She worried sometimes it was all they shared. They had so little in common, and what they did have, was based more on their families than themselves. If she’d met Jace at a coffee shop, or a bar, or somewhere else, if they’d come together initially as strangers, would anything have come of it?
“I don’t know. When we met, there was so much going on with our two families. We were sort of thrown together.”
“And now?”
“I can’t answer that. I like thinking about him. Part of my reason for wanting to come here was to figure out if Jace Rice was just my way of staying in denial about Zack.”
“Uh huh.”
“That’s all you’ve got? Come on, Red, just say it, for Christ’s sake. Whatever it is, come out with it.”
“It isn’t any of this old guy’s business. Like everything else, you gotta figure it out for yourself.”
“You’re starting to sound like a broken record.”
“How ’bout another trip up to Salmon? I was thinkin’ of headin’ there tomorrow.”
“Hardly a segue, but I’d like that. I spent some time with Annie and Dave while you were gone. It was…good. I mean, it was really hard, but then it got easier.”
“Life’s like that.” Red stood and walked toward the woods. He waved behind him. “See ya tomorrow.”
Her conversation with Red was unsettling. It was as though he saw something she didn’t. And whatever it was, should be obvious to her.
She had a lot to think about with Jace. The man was…hot. Not the kind of man who usually gave her a second look. Blythe maybe, but not her. And he wasn’t her type either.
Maybe things would work out on their own. Maybe she was over-thinking it. Soon she’d go back to Monument and start teaching at the Air Force Academy. The professor she was filling in for was due to have her baby near the end of August. The timing was perfect. Bree would simply fill in for an academic year, and then, the following year, the professor would return. Originally she’d applied for a two-year position, but this worked out better.
She hadn’t begun to think about what she might do when her stint was over, but maybe she should.
Jace, on the other hand, knew exactly what he’d be doing. Rough stock. She knew nothing of that life. She loved to ride horses, but that was the extent of it.
She used to go out to Billy Patterson’s ranch and watch Jace and Billy practice riding broncs. It was fun to watch, but after a while, she got bored. Rough stock was Jace’s entire life; he was raising bulls full-time. Could she feign enough interest in conversations about bull semen to make him think she cared? She doubted it.
“Change of plans, son,” Jace’s dad said when he came out the front door to where he and Blythe were still chatting.
“What’s that?” Jace asked.
“Tucker hasn’t had a chance to talk to you about this, Blythe, but what would you think about all of us going to Crested Butte?”
“I’d love it. I haven’t seen Renie in weeks.”
Blythe and Irene, who everyone but him called Renie, had been best friends since kindergarten. It was hard to remember sometimes; the two were so different.
“What about Lyric?” she asked Jace. “You saw her yesterday. Do you think we could talk her into going too?”
“Maybe. She was talking about getting her brother to come to Crested Butte. This might be a good opportunity.”
Blythe called her, and Lyric agreed it was a great idea. Instead of driving with them, she said she’d meet them there. She figured, the only way to get her brother to go would be if she went to Oklahoma and dragged him with her.
“You think this is smart? Putting me and Tuck in a truck, by ourselves, for five hours?” Jace asked his dad the next morning when they were getting ready to leave.
“You can kill each other as easily inside a truck or out,” he answered.
“Thanks. That doesn’t make me feel better at all.”
“Wasn’t meant to.”
Blythe and the baby were riding in the SUV with Hank and Carol. Blythe made Jace promise that he’d drive the speed limit, because she knew, with the baby in the car, Grandpa Hank wouldn’t go a mile over it.
“I don’t want to get too far separated from you two,” she told him.
Tucker walked up to the truck and put his hand out. “What?” Jace asked.
“Give me the keys.”
“Uh, nope. I’m drivin’.”
“I hate the way you drive. It’ll take us an extra hour to get there with you behind the wheel.”
“Which is precisely why he’s driving,” Blythe told her husband before she kissed him goodbye. “There’ll be hell to pay if you get out too far ahead of us,” she said to Jace. “Don’t you forget it, either.”
Tucker grumbled as he walked around to the passenger side of the truck, but Jace didn’t miss the smile and wink he gave his wife.
What he’d give to have that with someone. Every time he thought he was getting close, it didn’t work out. Was that his penance for the accident? Maybe if he and Tucker could talk about it, if he could say how sorry he was, maybe his life would begin moving in a positive direction, one with love in it.
They were an hour into the drive before either of them spoke. Jace knew they had to talk, but he wanted Tucker to be the one to start the conversation. After a while he decided Tuck was waiting on him.
“How much of that night do you remember?” Jace finally asked.
“Bits and pieces. I remember more about that day. I remember how angry I was with her parents whe
n they told me they wouldn’t let her marry me. I had to get out of that house and away from them. When I think back on it, I was just as mad at her. I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but it was obvious Rosa didn’t want to marry me any more than her parents wanted her to.”
Now that they were talking about it, Jace wished they weren’t. This was going to be more difficult than he’d imagined, and he imagined it being impossible.
“She played us against each other,” Tucker said in the direction of the passenger window.
Jace turned to look at him, but he couldn’t see his brother’s face.
“I came to the same conclusion,” Jace agreed. “When you drove up that night, she was begging me not to end it with her. I figured she was telling you the same thing when she ran toward the truck and begged you not to leave.”
“You were wrong about that,” Tucker said softly.
They drove in silence a few more miles. “When did it start?” Tuck asked him.
“We were always friends, I mean, all three of us were, since we were little kids. But it changed when we got into high school. She used to talk to me. At first it was about you, and then it wasn’t. She knew how competitive we were.”
“I thought I wanted to marry her.”
“I gotta tell you, up until Thanksgiving Day when I heard you talking to Dad about it, I didn’t think you two were that serious. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard you tell him what you were planning. I called her while you were still talking to him, and I was furious. The whole day, I couldn’t think about anything else.”
“How did you end up over there?”
“She called me and begged me to meet her. I agreed, but only to end it with her.”
“How did she get you to change your mind?”
“Can’t say that she did. You came back while we were still talking about it.”
“She told me she was in love with someone else.”
“I know, Tuck.”
“She was trying to get me to look at her, and I wouldn’t. I couldn’t stand the sight of her.”
“I felt the same way. I never wanted to see her again. I was mad, but I hurt more. I thought I mattered to her.”
Stay with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 4) Page 9