“But it still doesn’t make sense!” Alex exclaimed in frustration. “How would you helping me get Lucas’s attention benefit you in any way? If anything, it was pushing me away from you!”
“Not necessarily,” Sealey answered. And now he started to look nervous. “With you taking orders from me, I had, or I thought I had, complete control over the situation. I could guide you where I wanted you to go. You could get to know Lucas, but you could also get to know me. And I thought that maybe you might decide that I was a better match for you.”
“But I didn’t,” Alex stated plainly. “You must have not seen that one coming.”
“No,” Sealey said, smiling ruefully. “Nor did I foresee how absolutely you would captivate my best friend.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his expression self-deprecating. “All this time, I was operating under the assumption that once you and Lucas got to know each other, you’d realize what a terrible match you were. He is very much a homebody, has no ambitions to leave Utah at all. You want to travel, see the world and conquer it. He is quiet and contemplative, humble and modest, and you are . . . well, not.” He smiled apologetically at her. “His family is very resistant to the idea of him ending up with anyone but Olivia, his sister is a manipulative little snot, and his parents are haughty and disapproving. And I mean that in the best possible sense,” Sealey tacked on to the end, looking slightly guilty. “None of those characteristics seemed calculated to attract you. So I thought I was safe.”
Alex watched him as he explained, wondering how she would react once all of it sunk in. She seemed to be operating on a significant time delay, and she honestly didn’t know what she would feel when she actually had a chance to process what she was hearing.
“You underestimated Lucas’s charms,” Alex replied simply. “And mine, apparently.”
“Very much so. Especially yours,” Sealey agreed. “I have to admit, I never expected you to pique Lucas’s interest like you did. I was relying on his devotion to Olivia to keep your relationship platonic. But I was wrong.” He shrugged helplessly. “Luke fell for you. Hard. Everything spun out of my control, and I saw how stupid I’d been to think that he would fail to see how incredible you are. A guy would have to be crazy to turn down a chance to be with you.”
Alex looked at him steadily. While she had never, for one instant, considered the idea that Sealey might be interested in her like that, she found that the thought wasn’t necessarily an abhorrent one. At all. In fact, she thought she might be able to get used to it with relative ease. But that didn’t mean she was just going to fall into his arms. There were so many things about the situation that still didn’t make sense to her.
“So when did you stop trying to control everything?” Alex asked, clearing her throat to hide her discomposure.
“About the time Luke started asking you out on his own,” Sealey replied. “Once he started showing interest in you without any help from me, I knew I had miscalculated. My goal had been to simply make you realize that your chances with Luke were slim, and to show you that you two weren’t a good match anyway. But I failed to take your appeal into consideration, and really, I completely disregarded Luke’s side of the equation. Once he began to sit up and take notice, I realized I was in trouble.”
“But you stepped back,” Alex pointed out, remembering how Sealey had started refusing to take part in the project after Lucas had asked her out at the gym. “Once Lucas started asking me out by himself, you just let him! Didn’t it occur to you to try to sabotage the whole thing?”
Sealey looked at her incredulously. “Well, sure, but I’d like to think I’m not a completely horrible person.”
Alex raised her eyebrow at him. A vision was forming in her head, a vision of Sealey, holding various puppet strings attached to her arms, legs, and mouth, pulling one or the other to make her dance. To make her dance just like he wanted her to.
“I don’t know,” she answered, her voice taking on a scathing note. “Something about this whole situation smacks of a horrible person.”
“Now, wait,” Sealey defended, holding up a hand. “I admit, I entered into this thing with a manipulative, diabolical plan. It was wrong. I know that.” He reached forward and picked up her hand again. “But, Alex, I panicked. I was desperate to get my chance with you, but I knew it would never come unless I could get you to give up on your fantasy life with Lucas. I should have just been honest. I know that now.” He sighed, wincing slightly. “Isn’t that pretty much always the answer?” He looked tired as he said it.
Alex bit the inside of her cheek and looked down. How was she qualified to judge him? She hadn’t exactly been honest in her dealings with Lucas either.
“And once I knew that Lucas was sincerely interested in you, I did try to approach the situation honorably. You know, at first.” Sealey cringed, seemingly as a memory hit him.
“Explain that, please,” Alex commanded. “Because I totally missed it, if you did. You were openly competing for my affections at some point?”
“Well, kind of,” he replied, rubbing his neck again. “I’m not very good at the open approach, you know?” He glanced at her, his gaze uncertain. “It’s probably one of my biggest weaknesses. I sit here, crouching behind this tower of superiority and sarcasm. But, really, I’m just this pathetic excuse for a man who’s terrified to be vulnerable.”
His admission was proof to Alex that he was finally willing to face that particular fear. She thought back to the rough, sarcastic King of the Ice People Sealey had been before, compared to the picture of sincerity he was now. The Sealey she used to fear and the Sealey she now actually worried about (what a thought!). It was astonishing how far they’d come in a few months.
“Once I knew that Lucas sincerely wanted to date you, all I could do was try to distract you like any other guy would. I tried to make you jealous,” he continued, wincing slightly as he anticipated her reaction.
The anger was immediately back, hot and fierce.
“Ashley,” Alex seethed, narrowing her eyes at him. “I knew there was more going on there than you let on.”
“Hey, before you get all over me for my cruelty in leading Ashley on, let me just head you off. She knew about it. She was in on it,” Sealey replied, holding up his hands as though to protect himself.
“Really?” Alex said, surprised enough that she forgot to sound angry. “But she honestly likes you. Why would she help you make another girl jealous?”
“Well, first of all, Ashley doesn’t really like me as much as you think she does, and second, she wants Lucas to end up with Olivia even more than he probably does,” Sealey answered matter-of-factly. “Besides, Ashley knows how beautiful and smart she is. She’s not worried about finding a husband. And I don’t honestly think she believes she and I are right for each other. She just likes to flirt.”
“So she agreed to hang all over you and you acted like you had decided to reciprocate, all to make me jealous?” Alex asked, disbelieving. She couldn’t believe Sealey had gone to all this trouble, just for a chance with her. If anything, this entire debacle was proof that honesty was considerably less effort.
“It was the only thing I could think of.” Sealey sighed. “Again, apparently I’m of the male variety that will do anything to avoid the horror of having to actually say how he really feels. Of course, all my brilliant plan did was make you mad, because you thought I was leading Ashley on.” Sealey rolled his eyes at the memory but smiled. “Actually, that part amazed me. She was horrible to you, and yet all you cared about was how much she was going to be hurting once she realized I wasn’t sincere.” He shook his head. “It just proved to me again what an extraordinary person you are.”
Alex watched him, eyebrows furrowed, still chewing on her lip determinedly. How did she feel about all this? She felt around inside for some kind of idea. She could locate the anger, the frustration, the shock, and the confusion, but what was that niggling at the edges? It felt a bit like . . . relief? Amusement? Hope, maybe?<
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“Look, Alex. I had pretty much come to terms with the fact I was going to lose you,” Sealey said when her silence became too much for him. “When Lucas told me that he was going to break things off with Olivia when she got home, I knew I had just made everything worse. I hated myself for what I’d done, but at the same time, I loved seeing you so happy. It was probably the most conflicted, confusing state of mind I’ve ever been in.” He grinned weakly at her. “I couldn’t believe how horribly wrong my plan had gone for me. But not just for me. I mean, I wasn’t the only one who was going to suffer. Not only was I losing you, but I would be the means of seriously injuring one of my oldest friends. Because as good and kind as Olivia is, and as much as she would want Lucas to be happy, losing him would have been very painful for her.” Sealey shook his head. “I couldn’t believe I’d been so willing to risk so many people’s happiness, just to get what I wanted.”
“Hmmm, that’s interesting,” Alex said with a significant look. “Because I seem to remember you accusing me of exactly the same thing.”
“Well, I was in the prime situation to recognize it, wasn’t I?” Sealey replied with a smile. “Really, this entire thing was a lose-lose situation for you and me.”
“How so?” Alex asked.
“Because if you and Lucas had ended up together, I would have lost you,” Sealey explained with a shrug. “And you, in turn, would have been unhappy with him. I truly believe that. But you losing Lucas as you did wasn’t any better because you’ve been miserable, and I’ve been miserable watching you be miserable.” He shook his head, but a soft smile suddenly broke on his face. “Although, I have to say, I can’t quite find the words to explain to you how grateful I am that you are no longer in a relationship with my best friend.” He slid a little bit closer to her on the bench. The sun was going down, and the air was getting considerably colder. Sealey’s nose was beginning to turn red.
Alex watched him, mulling over what he had just said. She agreed with him. She knew she would have been unhappy with Lucas . . . eventually. Everything would have played out exactly as he said, in either scenario. But Alex wasn’t ready to stop asking questions yet, so she didn’t acknowledge this. “So why did you really show up on my doorstep that day? The day I was supposed to be telling Olivia about me and Lucas?”
“I actually did come to see how you were doing,” he answered. “I hoped I might be able to help you get over Lucas. You know.” Sealey gave her another self-deprecating smile. “But when Kacey told me what you were about to do, I got to realize all over again what an idiot I am. I really thought you were going to do it. I thought you were going to tear them apart, and I had so many conflicting emotions about it. I was furious at you for even considering doing such a thing, but at the same time, I completely understood why you would do it. I was terrified for Luke, knowing that Olivia would do exactly what you wanted her to. She would just step aside. I was heartbroken for Olivia, because that’s what she would be. And I was livid at myself for causing the whole mess.” Sealey shook his head, his expression far away as he remembered.
“The truth is, I wasn’t actually waiting for you, when you got back,” he said, turning back to her. “I just hadn’t been able to find the energy to leave yet. I was dreading going home and seeing Luke, knowing how devastated he was going to be.”
“But I arrived before you had a chance to escape,” Alex guessed.
“Right,” Sealey agreed. “And then you said the most wonderful sentence I think I’ve ever heard. You said, ‘I couldn’t do it.’ That one sentence fixed absolutely everything. I could have told you how much I loved you right then, but suddenly I realized I didn’t know how. Nor did I think, as heartbroken as you still were, that you’d be receptive. So I left. Very awkwardly and ungracefully.” Sealey shrugged. “And here we are.”
Alex was staring at him. Yet again. “You love me?” she asked quietly. She just sat and watched him as he appeared to gather his courage.
“Yes,” he said firmly, reaching out and pulling her against him, his warmth creeping into her chest, his arms encircling her. His face leaned close to hers as he whispered softly. “I love you, Alex Foamer.”
“You know,” Alex said as they walked back to her apartment twenty minutes later, hand-in-hand. “You really are so clueless about girls.”
“Undoubtedly,” Sealey replied, nodding seriously. “But how in particular have I made it so apparent this time?”
“I didn’t want time and space, Sealey,” she insisted, shaking her head. “I was worried about you. More than I was worried about me, I was worried about you. I thought I’d broken you beyond repair. I thought you’d never talk to me again. You’d think all the ‘I’m so sorrys’ I offered would have clued you in. Yes, being without Lucas hurt, but it was easier knowing I’d chosen it. But being without you . . . I didn’t really choose that part. It was an unfortunate by-product of destroying all your hopes. Or what I thought were your hopes at the time. I spent all that time apart thinking about you.”
“I played my part better than I meant to,” Sealey admitted, his teeth flashing white in the darkness. “I can’t believe I managed to convince you so fully that I was in love with Olivia. I hated talking about it, because I was sure I was going to give myself away each time.”
“I could tell you didn’t like talking about her, but I thought it was because you were big and tough and didn’t like to discuss your feelings.”
“You obviously know me a lot better than I know you.” Sealey chuckled ruefully. “I need to work on that.”
“Well, you’ll have plenty of time to work on it,” Alex said straightforwardly. “But it will have to be over the phone for a little while.”
“Are you banishing me or something?” Sealey asked, his face uncertain. “Where am I going?”
“You’re not going anywhere.” Alex laughed, rolling her eyes. “But I am. I accepted that traveling speaker series job earlier today. Right before you showed up, actually.”
“Really?” Sealey’s face broke into a brilliant smile and he stopped in his tracks, beaming at her. “I didn’t even know that you got the job! Alex, I’m so proud of you!” He immediately swept her into a tight hug. “This is everything you’ve ever wanted and worked for. This is fantastic!”
“Thank you,” Alex replied softly, her heart warming even further as she contemplated Sealey’s reaction to her news as opposed to what Lucas’s had been. That told her everything she needed to know. That was love.
Alex walked into her living room, a sappy smile on her face as she thought of her conversation with Sealey. She floated blissfully through the apartment and into the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring dreamily into it for a few seconds before shutting it again. She wasn’t hungry. Just happy.
She turned to head for her bedroom and nearly ran straight into Meredith, who had Kacey, Sage, Jaclyn, and Rachel trailing close behind her. All of them appeared to have followed her into the kitchen with confused expressions on their faces.
“What the heck is going on with you?” Kacey asked, shaking her head. “What’s with that schmaltzy perma-grin on your face?”
“Wait, I know, I know!” Sage cried. “Lucas called, right? He and Olivia have broken up and he wants you back!”
Meredith shrieked and grabbed Alex by the shoulders. “Is it true? Did Lucas call?!”
Alex felt disoriented for a second. She’d completely forgotten about Lucas Riley for possibly the first time in an entire year.
“Huh?” she asked, shaking her head slightly to clear it. “Oh, uh, no. Lucas didn’t call.”
Her roommates seemed to deflate before her very eyes. Each face once again took on the look of pity it had been wearing for the past couple of weeks. She was really learning to hate those sympathetic expressions.
“It’s something much better than that,” she said quickly.
“Something better,” Kacey repeated, her look doubtful. “Better than Lucas Riley?” She narrowed her eyes. “You
certainly look like Alex Foamer, but, seriously, who are you?”
“Alex Foamer has been remade,” Alex replied, her voice dreamy.
“Oh no,” Jaclyn groaned, putting a hand to her face in despair. “I recognize that look. Here we go again. Who’s captured your fancy this time?”
“You’ll never guess,” Alex said slyly.
Her roommates continued to look at her strangely in silence.
“Seriously, Al, what is going on with you?” Meredith finally asked, starting to look truly concerned. “You were approaching zombie status when you left for Thanksgiving, and now you’re . . . just . . . freaking me out.”
Alex smiled warmly at her best friend. “I think I found my fish, Mer,” she said, and her voice sounded so warm and so happy that it almost seemed to heat her from the inside as she spoke.
“You found your what?” Jaclyn demanded, confused, but Meredith caught on immediately.
“And . . . I take it that fish isn’t named Lucas Riley?” Meredith clarified, her mouth turning up at the corners. Relief and excitement mingled on her face.
Alex shook her head slowly with a sly grin.
“Then it must be . . .” Meredith trailed off, looking at Alex with an expression of horror.
Alex nodded.
“Who?” Sage demanded, looking frantically between them. “Who is the gosh dang fish?”
“Sealey,” Meredith whispered incredulously. “You and Sealey?” The expression of disbelief appeared to be permanently cemented on her face.
Alex nodded again, her smile widening even further. “Me and Sealey,” she confirmed.
Catching Lucas Riley Page 20