“Sorry.” She picked up the lamp and sat on my bed. The allosaurus was next to her, wrapped in a black garbage bag.
“What's this?” she said, pulling off the garbage bag. To say she jumped into the air wouldn't exactly be telling it correctly. She bounced higher than a kangaroo. “That's ghastly!” she yelled. “Is that your art project?”
“Yeah. Isn't it great?”
“Those teeth are gross!”
“Dinosaurs were vicious, Jen. What did you want me to do? Put a big smile on his face?” She covered it up and moved to the other side of my room. I grinned. It was a perfect reaction. I wanted him to scare people.
“Okay, here's the thing. I need a favor,” she said, twisting a strand of her long brown hair. “Nothing big, really.”
“What sort of favor?” I said suspiciously. Any favor Jen wanted was a big favor.
“I'll do the dishes for one month when we get back home if you'll help me out with a small problem. I promise.” She smiled. Her teeth were almost as scary as the allosaurus's. “I need to put some clothes in your bag.”
“What?” I exclaimed.
“There's no way I can go to California with only five outfits.” Jen gestured to my closet. “You wear jeans all the time anyway. You'll take two pairs instead of four.” She made it sound like a done deal.
“Oh, no,” I said, shaking my fist at her. “Where were you when Mom and Dad came up with this crazy idea in the first place? You had your nose stuck in that dance magazine. And where were you when we were watching Dad set up the Camp'otel? Giggling on the lawn and telling Dad how cute the camper looked on top of our car. And”—I slammed my pencil down on my desk—“why didn't you speak up when you learned we could take only a few clothes?” I got up and opened my bedroom door. “Out,” I said, pointing into the hall. “No deal. Freddy and I need all the space we can get. There isn't room for any of your stuff in our bags.”
Jen opened her mouth.
“Not even one ballet shoe!” I finished before she could speak.
Jen stormed out. “Twerp! Just see if I ever do you a favor!”
I sat back at my desk and spun around in the chair. So Jen needed a favor from me. She didn't know it, but maybe I would make a trade with her—and it wouldn't be for doing dishes.
“Check it out!” Freddy said as we walked into class after lunch. There were tables at the front of the class, and our projects were arranged on them, with the name of each student on a small card in front of his project. As far as I could tell, everyone had soared. Bobby Jones had made a fantastic piano keyboard. Trevor Norman had made a map of Europe. He had marked all the famous battles of World War II with toothpicks. Jenna Dodd's Eiffel Tower had an elevator inside it. Wesley Grant had made a perfect replica of the Statue of Liberty. My allosaurus sat next to Freddy's volcano.
We took our seats. I shot a look at Amberson. He was looking expectantly at Ms. Ware. I'd noticed that he hadn't so much as glanced at my project. But he had been in the room when Freddy and I came in. That worried me. I craned my neck to look at the dinosaur head. It looked okay. But then, so did Jen's room, and who knew what lived in there? With a sigh, I settled back in my seat.
Kara Kaye went first. She'd made a funny little man standing on his head. I had wondered about Kara Kaye's creation but I had been so busy that I hadn't asked her about it. Not that she would have answered me, anyway. She explained that Lewis Carroll was her favorite author and in his poem “Father William,” he had written about a man who stood on his head. Freddy was next. He put his bowl of vinegar and soda inside his volcano. Bubbles floated up into the air. The class loved it. The reports went on all afternoon. We only had time for one more before school was out—mine.
I took out my essay and walked over to my allosaurus head. Stand straight! My mom's voice echoed through my head. Use your outside voice! Amberson sat in the back of the room trying not to pay attention to me, but I knew he was listening. Some of the girls looked afraid. I was glad. I wanted my allosaurus to look scary and real.
I cleared my throat. “The allosaurus. The allosaurus was wild and wicked.” I turned and pointed to the head I'd made. Suddenly I felt like a jerk. All dinosaurs were wild and wicked. What a dumb thing to say!
“The allosaurus had razor-like teeth,” I continued. Ms. Ware had put the head on a stack of books so everyone could see it better. “It was one of the meanest meat-eating dinosaurs that ever lived. It ate anything that got in its way.” I raced through the rest of my dinosaur facts. At home it had taken five minutes but here I finished in about thirty seconds. “My advice is to stay away from an Ambie-saurus—I mean, an allosaurus—if you ever happen to see one,” I finished, gulping. “Thank you.” Amberson staring at me made me totally nervous. Everyone clapped. I had messed up but my allosaurus was vicious-looking and a couple of girls screamed every time I pointed to it.
“Put on the head,” Amberson said before I could sit down. “It looks so real. We want to see what a vicious allosaurus looks like with a body.” I hadn't tried on my allosaurus head yet but I knew it would fit. I had taken a million measurements to be sure.
“Put it on!” the kids chanted. “Put it on!”
Ms. Ware quieted the class. “The bell's about to ring, but if you want to model it, go ahead, Jason,” she said. “You've done an outstanding job.”
Flushed with pride, I put the dinosaur on my head. I could see the class through the razor-sharp teeth. Then, without warning, the top set of teeth fell to the floor. Something gooey ran down my face and the back of my neck. There was a smell of peanut butter and raspberry jelly inside the head. My allosaurus had been sabotaged!
It took forever to get home. I barely saw the street as I pushed my bike along next to Freddy. People honked their horns and called out stupid things.
“Yo!” one guy yelled. “Run for your lives! There's a dinosaur loose!” He slapped the side of his car and sped away. We didn't pay attention to him.
“Turn left,” Freddy said. “Okay, now right.” I could see part of the street through the mouth of the allosaurus head. Ms. Ware and a custodian had tried to pry the head off for ten minutes without destroying it. Finally they gave up and Ms. Ware sent me home with a note for my parents. Patches went wild when he saw me. At first he didn't recognize me. Then he sniffed my shoes and his tail started to wag. I didn't know whether he recognized me or smelled the peanut butter. Dad was standing next to the SUV when Freddy led me to the driveway.
“I know this may sound like a crazy question, Jason,” Dad said, “but why are you wearing a T. rex head?”
“It's not a Tyrannosaurus rex, Mr. Percy,” Freddy said. “It's an allosaurus. This is Jason's project for our last week of school. Don't you think it looks real?”
“Ridiculous is more like it,” he said, distracted, as he opened the back door of the SUV and peered inside. “Take it off, Jason. I need you and Freddy to bring me your bags. I want to see how everything is going to fit in our car.”
I turned to face him. Some of the peanut butter and jelly had oozed down my nose. “If I can,” I said. “The head is stuck to me. I think I'm going to have to wear it to California.”
Dad laughed. Apparently he found my situation amusing. “What do you think the RWU campers would say if I drove up with a dinosaur in my car?”
“Not as much as they'll say when they see our camper,” I whispered to Freddy. Dad didn't hear me. Freddy and I worked for ten minutes until the head finally came off in one piece. We didn't want to destroy it. I had to wipe out the inside. It was covered with peanut butter and jelly. We found enough glue in my desk to put the teeth back on.
“Good as new,” I said, sitting on the kitchen floor. “But breaking dinosaur teeth may be a reason to go to detention. Can you believe that guy?”
“Forget it,” Freddy said. “He's totally going to pay for it—Ms. Ware will see to that. And besides, the head is fixed now. I'm going to go get my stuff. I'll be right back.”
I stumbl
ed into the bathroom. There was peanut butter and jelly in my hair, on my eyebrows, up my nose, in my ears, down my chin—everywhere. While I was in the shower I planned how I could get back at Amberson and not get caught. I'd have to wait until after our trip. If I caused him any bodily harm, Dad would leave me at home and I'd never get on the show.
The next day was the last day of school. May Ling read her essay about the Leaning Tower of Pisa. She had seen the real tower in Italy. Hers was totally authentic. It leaned to one side without falling down. No one knew how she did it and she wouldn't tell. When she finished reading, she put the tower on the floor next to Amberson's jet and gave it a little shove as she walked back to her seat. It fell over, spilling gooey red poster paint out the windows. Paint went all over Amberson's plane.
“Hey!” Amberson yelled, running to the front of the room, but it was too late. His jet was splattered. I wanted to clap.
“Oh, sorry,” May Ling said, grinning. “I guess my tower wasn't as strong as I thought.” I cracked up. Served him right. I wish I'd thought of it. When May Ling walked back to her desk she gave me a high five. I was glad she wasn't mad at me anymore.
Amberson had to stay in the principal's office during our farewell party. Ms. Ware sent cookies and punch to him. Our class voted on the best art project and May Ling won hands down. I was glad for her. Ms. Ware told us how much she had enjoyed having us in her class. She went to the blackboard for the last time and wrote: If you don't follow your own dreams, you'll follow someone else's. That made sense to me. I was going to follow my own dream and get on Masquerade Mania if it was the last thing I ever did!
I woke up at the crack of dawn. Normally on the first day of summer vacation I sleep in until lunchtime. That's how excited I was. It was still dark outside. I grabbed my video games and ran downstairs. Dad and Mom were finishing their coffee. Dad was wearing his fisherman's hat with the feather on it. Mom had on a fanny pack and bright blue Bermuda shorts. She wore a straw hat bigger than she was. Their nerdiness didn't even faze me. Who cared? We were going to California!
“Masquerade Mania, here I come,” I said, putting my allosaurus down on the floor.
They both grinned. “We'll be rolling shortly,” Dad said. I shoveled cereal into my mouth as fast as I could.
“I'll let you know when it's time to get on the road,” Dad called out a little while later. He had made a dozen trips to the SUV. Mom was running around after Millicent. Jen hadn't said much. She wasn't really awake yet.
Mom had spent all week getting Millicent's stuff ready. There were diapers and wipes, spoons and sippy cups, bibs and baby wash. Two-year-olds require a lot of gear. The most important thing, however, was Lulu. She was Millicent's fuzzy pink elephant. Lulu went everywhere with her. Millicent wouldn't eat unless Lulu sat next to her. She wouldn't sleep unless Lulu was ready for bed. Lulu had a way of disappearing at the worst possible moments. And when she disappeared everything stopped. Houdini could have used Lulu in his magic act. Poof ! She could vanish in an instant.
I walked through the house to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. Millicent's harmonica was on the kitchen table. She had received it as a party favor. Freddy and I had been goofing around the other day and I'd learned a few simple songs. I stuffed it in my pocket just in case Jasmine or Desmond O asked for a harmonica concert.
The doggie motel had been booked, but Carey Anne had agreed to keep Patches. Uncle Dan had said he'd play ball with him. “I'll get him in shape,” he'd told me. I didn't hope for much. Uncle Dan's only exercise was walking to and from the fridge.
Freddy and I had gone over every imaginable trivia question. I had so much information buzzing in my head it was leaking out my ears. We'd IM each other every night after the show. Freddy would ask questions and I'd have to give the answers immediately. I felt confident and prepared. Freddy wasn't interested in getting on the show—he was happy to just manage. I planned to share whatever I won with him. That seemed like a fair exchange for all the work he had done.
I took my things out to the car. Jen's bag was already there. It was fatter than a hippopotamus. I wondered if she had cheated and brought more than five outfits. It would be just like her to do that.
Freddy and I sat on the front porch while Dad finished checking out all the camping equipment. It was eerie being up so early when everyone in our neighborhood was still asleep. Freddy's parents were talking to Mom in the kitchen. I looked up at the moon. “Funny, isn't it?” I said.
“What?”
“That the moon doesn't really give off any light. It's only a reflection of the sun's light.”
“That reminds me,” Freddy said. “How does the earth move?”
I groaned. “It revolves around the sun and rotates on its axis.”
“Who was the first man to walk on the moon?”
“Neil Armstrong.”
“How many planets move around our sun?”
“Gee, don't you ever give up?” I said. “It's too early to think.”
“How many?”
“Nine.” I looked at him. “I know. I know. Name them.”
“I am such a good manager!” Freddy shouted.
“Saturn, Mars, Mercury, Venus, Uranus, Neptune, Jupiter, Earth, and …” I was stumped.
“Cartoon character … ?” Freddy prompted.
“Pluto!”
Our parents walked out onto the porch. It was time to leave. Freddy's parents gave him a million hugs before he escaped. We crawled into the third seat of our SUV. The allosaurus was wrapped in a black plastic garbage bag. I set it on the floor between my legs. Mom strapped Millicent into her car seat. Jen crawled into the car next to Millicent.
Dad began his run-through. “Everyone went to the bathroom?”
“Yes,” we all said.
“You unplugged your curling iron, Jen?”
She let out a sigh. “Yes.”
“Seat belts, guys?” Dad asked.
By now we were antsy. “Yes!” “Then we're off !” Dad pulled the SUV out of the driveway.
“No!” Millicent let out a howl.
Dad slammed on the brakes.
“What now?” he said.
“Lulu,” Millicent cried, pointing to the yard. Lulu was chilling under a tree. Jen jumped out of the car, grabbed the elephant, and handed it to Millicent.
We started out of the driveway again and our headlights flashed on a sign nailed to a telephone pole.
Texas to L.A. is very far.
You'll spend hours in the car.
“Isn't that clever?” Mom said. “Someone left us a funny good-bye sign.”
“Maybe it was Lulu,” Dad said.
I knew better. Amberson had been spying on us these past few weeks. That stupid sign proved it. My only hope was that he didn't know anything about me trying out for Mania. If he did, I was doomed.
“Before long I'll be reaching into the box,” Mom said enticingly, giving the small cardboard container on her lap a shake as we traveled down the highway.
Each of us had put three wishes in Mom's box for where we'd like to go. Mom planned to draw one a day when we got to California. Whatever she drew would be the place we'd see that day. Jen wanted to see Disneyland, the Los Angeles Ballet, and Rodeo Drive. I knew Mom would vote for Hollywood and a tour of movie stars' homes. And Dad was eager for all of us to see the Pacific Ocean. Freddy wanted to drive out to Long Beach and visit the Queen Mary in dry dock. Each of my wishes was the same: Masquerade Mania! I had three shots at my dream. Millicent didn't care what we did as long as she had Lulu with her. They'd go anywhere.
“Mom's gonna pick Masquerade Mania first. I just know it,” I said.
“Mr. Pinkie, your chances of getting on that show are about as good as walking on the moon,” Jen said.
“And what makes you think I can't do it?” I asked her.
“Because you have to be cle-ver.” She flipped her hair. “Since you're just a twerp, I doubt they'd even know you were there.”
“Ha!” I said, shifting my body. There was barely room for my legs with the allosaurus head at my feet but I didn't complain. “Just wait. When I get on the show and win a trip for four to Hawaii, I'll choose Freddy to go instead of you. You'll have to stay with Aunt Kate and Millicent.” She made a face at me.
“Jen is right,” Dad said from behind the wheel. “Trying to get on TV is a hard thing to do. I'm willing to let you take a chance, I just don't want to see you disappointed.”
“And America doesn't want to see you on TV,” Jen muttered.
I stuck my tongue out behind her back. She could be as negative as she wanted. It wouldn't stop me.
Dad whizzed down the highway, humming away like he was the happiest camper in the world.
“It would be nice if we had one of those little portable TVs in the car,” I said.
“If you were watching TV all the time, you'd miss the scenery,” Dad said.
Scenery? I sighed as I gazed out into the earlymorning darkness.
Mom turned around and handed Jen, Freddy, and me each a bright-colored packet. “When it gets light outside, take a look. There are games, questions, and reading material about interesting things along the way. What you don't know you can look up in one of these,” she said, passing back a canvas tote bag filled with reference books. “Whoever gets the most answers correct gets to put an extra suggestion in the box.” The last part was good, but still, we all groaned.
“Mom, we just got out of school for the summer. This is supposed to be a vacation. Remember?” I let the packet drop on the floor by my dinosaur head and curled up on my side of the car to go to sleep. It was going to be a long day. Dad had said we would drive all the way to El Paso. That was six hundred miles! Texas was so big you could drive all day and not even get out of the state.
The sun came up and we could see the countryside. We passed Abilene, Sweetwater, Midland, Odessa, and Pecos. It seemed like El Paso was at the end of the world. I didn't think we'd ever get there. Every Texas town we drove through looked the same. Strip malls, gas stations, fast-food restaurants—reading all their names made me hungry. “Hey,” I said. “I'm starving. Can we drive through a Muffin Man and get something to eat?”
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