Just bloody perfect. We were this close to being gone.
I took a deep breath, plastered a fake as shit, smug grin on my face, and turned to face the bastard that had done his best to destroy my heart.
“Baxter.” I looked him up and down. “I’d say it was good to see you, but we’d both know I was full of shit.”
How are you gonna play it this time you wanker…
“Hey El, I’ve been trying to call you. You look amazing by the way.” I felt dirty as his greedy grey eyes drank in my appearance.
Get a good look douche bag, it’ll be your last.
“Yea I got your messages. Obviously I’m not interested in hearing you speak Baxter.”
“I have some news Ellie cat, I thought you would want to hear it from me.” I blanched hearing him use his old pet name for me.
Asshole! That stupid fucking name.
Quinn must have sensed that his pathetic attempt at endearment was going to spell the end of the confident Ellerslie that had been present up until this moment.
“El, go wait in the car? I’ll get the order sweetie.”
I nodded numbly at Quinn and moved to push around her. Baxter stepped forward at the same time and grabbed on to my forearm. “El. We need to talk.”
I knew at that moment that I was getting stronger – that the absolute cluster fuck that had been the last three months had not all been endured for nothing. There was a time when I would have been persuaded by the combination of his cloudy grey eyes, his dishevelled dirty blonde hair, and the firm muscles that I knew lay under his grey slacks and white button down shirt.
But not anymore.
No damn way. Now he made my skin crawl. “Don’t you dare touch me” I spat at him. He dropped my arm immediately and glanced around to see if my rather loud outburst had drawn him any unwanted attention. Before he could even lay his deceitful stare back on me, I stalked out of the café and leapt into the waiting Land Rover.
I looked back at the shop window where I could see Quinn chewing out a shocked looking Baxter. I let the hysterical laughter fall from my lips.
The wanker won’t know what hit him.
Quinn could be fierce. She wasn’t shy about her hatred for Baxter and she certainly wasn’t going to be quiet about letting him know it.
He wasn’t going to be coming back here again in a hurry.
I could vaguely hear my parents asking me what was happening, but I tuned them out and instead focused on keeping the tears at bay. I pulled out my phone and sent Quinn a message.
“Esmée Denters – Outta Here.”
Quinn and I had been doing this for years, emailing and texting each other songs, lyrics, music videos, poems, clips from movies. Anything that expressed our moods. I knew Quinn was familiar enough with the song that she wouldn’t need all the words to know that I needed to get out.
4. Quinn
Holy shit I was so sick of this little fucker.
Why can’t he just leave El alone?
He’s having a baby. A fucking baby – that they made while Ellerslie still lived with this piece of shit.
This is going to destroy her.
“Baxter shut the hell up.” I interrupted his current ramblings about how he thought he’d made a huge mistake with Amelia and how much he loved Ellerslie and wanted her back.
Bullshit. The asshole is just freaking out about having a kid with that bitch.
“I don’t give a shit about what you want, you hear me? Y’all have made El’s life hell these past few months, and now she has to live with the fact that her husband and so-called friend were screwing in secret for god knows how long, and also the fact that you’ve knocked her up. I don’t think you ever really loved her Baxter, and I sure as shit know you don’t love her now. You’re going to stay the hell away from her asshole. Or you’ll be dealing with me.” I heard my phone beep and looked down at a text from El.
“Esmée Denters – Outta Here.”
Oh shit.
I glared at the prick in front of me who was getting redder and redder with every shred I ripped off him. I knew Baxter wouldn’t be coming back here for a long ass time. I heard our order called.
“Do you understand me dick wad?” I poked my finger into his chest. “Run home to your whore.” I turned and collected our breakfast from a grinning young girl behind the counter. I winked at her as I left the café – I would probably never set foot in here again.
“Why should I be sad? I have lost someone who didn’t love me. But they lost someone who loved them.”
– Author unknown.
5. Ellerslie
The rest of the trip to LAX was extremely uneventful. Quinn had returned from the café, orders in hand and a fake smile on her face. I knew something was up. I could read Quinn like a book, and right now, I knew I was reading bullshit.
She had conveniently found numerous topics to discuss with my parents on the drive, and I could tell she was avoiding having to talk to me. Obviously I was going to ask what had happened after I’d left the café. She could avoid me all she liked. We had a six-hour flight together, and she was going to give me my answers.
After a few tears, all from my mom, we had left my parents at the departure gate, checked our luggage in, and made ourselves comfortable in the first class lounge. Quinn had done her best to act normal, getting us both a cosmo.
I think I need something stronger.
I sipped the sweet liquid and waited for my best friend to deliver the bad news. I had a feeling it would be the final blow, courtesy of fuck face Dent. “Amelia is pregnant.” Quinn blurted out. She was looking at me as if I was a small child that had just been told their dog died.
Pregnant! That fucking bastard didn’t waste any time.
Baxter had left me for Amelia. What made me hate her even more, was that she had been a friend to both Quinn and I. In fact, we had been such good friends, that she had been in the wedding party when Baxter and I had got married.
Oh the irony.
“Wow. Um… that was… quick.” I tried to think about the disgust I’d felt for that low life in the café today, but I was having a hard time feeling anything other than crushed by this revelation.
“Uh, El, there’s actually more – Um…” Quinn took a deep breath in, and blew it out. “Amelia is five months pregnant.”
Her words hung in the air between us. Suffocating me and destroying the small amount of respect that I had left for men. I felt the walls closing in around me as I tried to understand how it was possible for her to be five months pregnant with his baby.
Five months.
We had only split up three months ago. Baxter had confessed to an affair it was obvious he didn’t want to make any attempt to fix his mistakes – I’d kicked him out immediately without asking any of the details. Two weeks later I had seen him with Amelia.
Five months.
The words circled in my head.
“I swear I almost cut his fucking balls off right there in that café El.”
I just nodded at Quinn – words failing me. I had no doubt that it would have taken every ounce of her self-control not to castrate my ex-husband on the spot.
Five months. Five fucking months. Those two are officially on the top of my shit list.
I grabbed the arm of the waitress that passed our table. “Jack please. Neat.” She nodded quickly and looked at me with sympathy. I must have had ‘heartbroken’ written all over my damn face.
I slammed back the amber liquid as soon as it reached the table, and signalled for another. I welcomed the burn as it slid down my throat.
Quinn just sat, sipping her cosmo – waiting for me to be ready to talk. She was great like that, always knowing when to push me, and when to just leave me alone to think.
Two more glasses of liquid courage later, and I was ready to talk, well… rant – I was angry. Bugger that, I was beyond angry. I was furious.
“That prick! He got another woman pregnant while we were fucking married” I his
sed. “And her… She was meant to be my friend – I talked to her about the distance I could feel between me and Baxter, and the bitch would have known exactly what was causing the problem.”
The problem was right between her legs.
“Shit!” I was fuming.
“I know it hurts El, but this is a good thing really – It’ll help your case. He can’t argue that he was a faithful husband when he’s got that bitch knocked up.” Quinn smirked.
She was right. Baxter and I had been married for a little over a year before we separated three months ago. He was intentionally dragging out a divorce by not only pushing to get half of everything we had owned together, but also half of my share of the company profits from the period of time that we were married. Business had boomed that year, and that asshole didn’t deserve a cent of mine or my father’s hard work. I knew that him being unfaithful to me wouldn’t help his chances of getting anything extra from me.
It didn’t stop it hurting like a bitch though. I had thought that what Baxter and I had was real, that it was forever.
I was an idiot.
I sighed in defeat. “I know he’s an asshole Q. I really do. But I don’t know how to forget him. I don’t want him in my life, not ever again… but I miss the future that our relationship should have had, if he were different that is. I should have been planning a future with him. It should have been my next step, I should be expecting a child with my loving husband… but I’m not. And now I don’t think it will ever be on the cards for me.”
“Shut the hell up.” She all but yelled. I snapped my head up to meet Quinn’s green eyes. They were dancing with anger and she looked like she might slap me. “I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again El. Of course you will have that future.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “With someone that’s worthy of your love and devotion. You are young, beautiful, smart, caring and loyal El. That little fucker doesn’t even realise what he’s lost.”
I smiled sadly at my best friend. “Yea I guess you’re right. It’ll happen for me one day.” I slowly nodded. I didn’t believe my words for a second. I couldn’t let a man that far into my heart ever again.
***
By the time we landed in Boston my anger had significantly faded. Sure, it was still there, in the back of my mind simmering away. But I could think straight now. I was beginning to see that I had dodged a bullet with Baxter. I couldn’t even imagine how I would have survived this if it were five years and two children down the track. Now all I needed to do was tell my lawyer the news so he could help me fix this mess.
We de-boarded the plane, collected our luggage, and made our way to the exit sign across the room. We were about half way there when I spotted him.
“Reeve!” I shrieked. I pushed my way through the crowd to get to my big brother. Reaching him, he grabbed me and pulled me into a crushing bear hug. It had been way too long since I’d seen him. I pulled back in his arms and looked him over. He was just like my father, the same height, broad shoulders, light brown hair and blue eyes. Although his eyes were darker than Dad’s and mine. His were more of an ocean blue, he got them from our mother.
“Hey honey, you have no idea how good it is to see you.” Reeve grinned at me and placed a quick kiss to the top of my head. His eyes searched mine and I knew he was trying to see if I was really doing ok – I looked away, worried about what he might see. “I’ve been so worried about you. I wish I could have been there to support you these last three months, I’ve felt pretty useless to be honest.”
Reeve’s confession floored me. He clearly didn’t understand how much help he had been to me – he’d always taken my calls, no matter what time of the day, and sat there on the other end of the phone when I’d done nothing but cry. He was a rock to me.
I shook my head at him in disbelief. “You did so much for me Reeve. You don’t know how much of a comfort it is hearing your voice.” I smiled up at him. “I’m so excited to be in the same city as you, we both are.” I let him go, and looked around for Quinn.
“Quinny” Reeve grinned.
“Urgh piss off, don’t call me that you dick.” Quinn threw back with a shit-eating grin on her face.
Laughing, Reeve threw an arm around each of us – something he learnt from our dad. We headed off to the car park and I was already looking forward to the warmth of Reeve’s truck. He drove a new black 4wd Dodge Ram – I was thankful that my Jeep was a 4wd too, with the snow it would definitely be safer. Quinn’s Audi hatchback wasn’t going to be much use for a while, but that suited me fine. Quinn was a terrible driver and she scared the living shit out of me behind the wheel.
Both Quinn and I shivered as we exited the building and got our first real feel of Boston weather. It was fucking freezing. It was February and we had left LA in about 85 degrees, and arrived to only 32 degrees here in Boston. This was definitely going to take some adjusting to. That, and some serious shopping for more appropriate wardrobe choices.
“Holy crap it’s cold” Quinn said between chattering teeth.
Reeve just laughed. “You girls are going to have to get use to that. It’s only just really started snowing. It’ll probably get colder before it gets warmer.”
Jesus Christ. Can it get any colder than this?
I sat in the front of the truck with my brother and Quinn got in the back. He cranked the heater as he exited the airport and headed off towards his apartment building. Reeve informed us that it was only around a 15-minute drive from Logan airport back to his apartment.
And possibly our new apartment.
Reeve wanted to take us for a bit of a tour around Boston first, and we were excited to see some of our new city. We drove around for the next hour or so, marvelling at the light dusting of snow that covered everything. Reeve pointed out some of the main buildings and sites along the way, The Symphony Hall, The Museum of fine arts, Boston public library, Boston University, the hospital, Fenway Park and the breathtakingly beautiful water.
There is so much water.
There was the wharf, The Charles River, ponds in the parks, Boston seemed to be completely surrounded by water. We had travelled through the Sumner tunnel on our way, which had both impressed and scared me – it didn’t seem natural to travel under the harbour instead of over it.
Boston was a beautiful city, it had history and charm. I couldn’t wait to get settled in and start to explore.
“Are you girls ready to head in for the day? It’s getting late.” Reeve asked with a yawn.
“Sure Reeve, sorry. I forgot about the time difference. You’re probably starving.” I looked at him apologetically.
“Na I’m good, I usually work late and eat around now anyway. We can order some takeout and then I can show you around the free apartment in my building?”
I really hoped that this apartment in Beacon Hill would suit both Quinn and I. It would be a relief if we could move our furniture straight into a place rather than having to store it and stay with Reeve until something came up.
“Sounds perfect. I can’t wait to see it.” Quinn replied with an excited grin.
It was well and truly dark by the time we got back to Reeve’s building, but from what I could see, it was stunning. It wasn’t tall, maybe only seven or eight floors. It was an orange brick and I fell in love with the character of it instantly. I glanced back at Quinn, and judging by the smile on her face, she was captivated by it too.
We parked in the underground car park and with Reeve’s help, made our way into the elevator. Reeve used his access card to control the lift, and we automatically headed up to level 5. Reeve explained that the lift only went to the floor that each card controlled, occupants of the building had an entire floor to themselves and the elevator doors opened right into the living space of the apartment.
My mouth dropped open as the elevator doors revealed Reeve’s living room. It was amazing. The space was breath taking. The dark Oak flooring paired with classic white walls, large windows and cl
assic French inspired mouldings was fresh and open. I looked around at the furnishings and gaped at my brother. “Did you style this?”
Reeve shook his head and chuckled. “Thanks for the vote of confidence El. But no, I didn’t. I had a local interior designer Cassie furnish and style it for me before I moved in. What do you think?”
“It’s crazy good Reeve.” Quinn breathed as she looked around the living and dining area. “So open and clean. But with so much character too.”
I nodded in agreement.
We moved through the space and into the even more impressive dark tile, white marble and dark solid wood kitchen. It was huge.
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