Torturous pleasure. Torturous memories.
Torturous man candy in her living room.
“Don’t look so panicked, sweet cakes. I’m a quick learner.”
She tried to mumble something. A smart retort would come in handy—a caustic remark could drive him away.
The only thing that tried to emerge from her mouth was a plea for him to help her in ways that had nothing to do with photography.
“Okay, show me what to do.”
Sighing deeply, Karly couldn’t deny that his tenacity was more attractive than it should have been. She tended to be a loner when it came to working.
Since the project was a chronicle of a woman’s pregnancy, Karly wondered how he’d react. She had a hard time keeping her hands steady as she fanned out the photos she had taken over the last seven months.
Her breath hitched when he picked up one of Karly’s favorite photos. The woman’s husband had knelt in front of his wife and wrapped his arms around his wife’s bulging belly, perching a teddy bear on the top of her tummy as he delivered a sweet kiss to her perky belly button.
The photo was too beautiful for words. It always brought tears to Karly’s eyes.
Watching Ben study it nearly had the same effect.
He lifted the photo, studying it intently. Was she overtired, or was there a tiny bit of longing written on his features?
Could he possibly want what was in that photo? Somewhere deep down?
She should tell him.
She had to do it eventually.
His eyes locked on hers as he continued to hold the photo.
“You have a magical eye for capturing moments.”
His praise embarrassed her. She knew she had talent—photography was her art, her passion. But having Ben Knight acknowledge her talent was more than she could handle. Way too unexpected.
“Don’t look so bashful,” Ben teased. “This couple must be eternally grateful that you were at the helm.”
“The camera does the hard work.”
What the hell? She wasn’t one to self-deprecate.
“The camera is merely the vehicle. You are the skilled driver.”
“Ben…” Now was the time. While they were wrapped in this warm cocoon of late-night partnership and a beautiful series of pregnancy photos. He was calm. She was calm. The news would be unexpected, but maybe he’d find some okay-ness in it all.
He placed the photo back on the floor, wiping his hands like he had touched something dirty.
“I know, I know. How could I find a situation like this beautiful?” He fake-shuddered.
She died inside.
“I’m kidding, Karly. You take this pregnancy stuff very seriously. Okay, I’m sorry. No more smart-ass remarks from me.”
She forced her spine to straighten and imagined the temper tantrum her little fetus would throw at the disruptive waves of emotion roiling through Karly’s gut.
He had ruined the moment. Her mouth dried before the words could spill out.
Soon, though. It wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t be the only one burdened with this knowledge. And it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing she could hide forever.
She bit back the snide retort that threatened to tornado out of her mouth and resumed ordering him around, since he refused to leave.
She had to admit—he did come in handy to have around as a minion.
He even made her hot tea as the night grew longer.
When he noticed her rubbing the tense muscle in the back of her neck, he pushed the work aside and placed himself behind her. His hands on her neck were divine. Strong and firm, capable of kneading the muscle into submission. His touch warded away the potential headache and every stormy thought she had ever entertained about him.
“Now that you’re putty in my hands, I want to explain something to you.”
Ben’s deep voice, soft and low and painfully seductive, sent shivers from her ear to her toes. Every inch of her body sat up and retrieved a notebook and a pen to take detailed notes. Clearly her body was made up of millions of tiny perverts.
She wasn’t sure if she urged him on or if he didn’t wait for a response. All she knew was that her pain receded quicker than a river during a drought.
“Your hands are ridiculously strong.” Karly moaned as he deepened the pressure on her neck.
His warm breath flirted with the fine hairs on the back of her neck. His lips lit a fire as they drifted along the sensitive skin.
“Ben…”
“I know something else that’s wonderful for headaches.”
Oh, goodness. She was melting.
His hands fanned out to her shoulders, where he squeezed and massaged as he nibbled his way to her earlobe.
“Ben…”
She had to get him to stop.
“Too bad we have so much work still to do,” he said.
He removed his lips from her skin, but didn’t pull away completely.
She remained quiet, afraid to break the spell his strong hands wove.
“I do like kids, you know.”
Every muscle in her body tightened. Did he already know? Is that what this whole visit thing was about?
She waited for him to continue, afraid her heart had stopped for good.
“But I can’t ever have any.”
So not the words she expected to hear.
Was he trying to say he was infertile? Because she had proof contrary to that.
“Why can’t you have any? And why are you telling me this?”
“I’m telling you because… I don’t know.” He pulled away then, but didn’t move from his position behind her.
She could still feel his warmth on her back. Could still feel his energy darting from his thighs to her hips, even though they weren’t touching.
“I don’t want you to think I’m an ass for saying the things I’ve said today about pregnancy. I’m not sure why I care so much.”
Something about the tone of his voice had her turning her body around so she could face him.
She was shocked to see pain etched in his furrowed brow and around his downturned eyes and lips.
He recovered quickly, smiling his charming smile, but his effort to appear nonchalant came too late.
She had seen a glimpse of his vulnerability. She wouldn’t let him off so easy.
“Tell me.”
She rested her hands on her lap as she tried to quell the intense urge to touch him.
“I’ve never told anyone this before,” he began. A little smile lifted at the corner of his mouth. “Not quite sure why I feel so comfortable confiding in you, but I feel like we’re kindred souls.”
“I won’t repeat a word.”
“I know you won’t.”
He reached out and twirled a piece of her hair around his finger, studying it as he appeared to be gathering his thoughts.
“I recently met my biological mother.”
Karly tried to keep her face neutral. “I didn’t know you were adopted.”
“She dropped me off at a youth center when I was five and never bothered to come pick me up. I was put into the foster care system.”
Karly gasped. She thought her mother was bad. Clearly his took the prize for Worst Mother in the Universe.
“I won’t get into all the details. She’s suffering from early onset dementia. Seeing how much she’s suffering made me realize I could never bring a child into this world. I couldn’t live with myself if I had to put that child through seeing me suffer the same way or, especially, taking the chance that a child of mine could suffer the same fate. I just can’t do it. It would be selfish.”
Her heart crashed into her ribs with such force, she was surprised her ribs didn’t crack.
How much inner pain did his outward charm and charisma hide?
“So let’s just say that with my family’s medical and neurological history, it’s best if the line ends with me.”
“Ben…”
“Stop right there. I counted on some sarcasm
from you. Not pity.”
She tried to smile. She even tried to give him what he wanted—a typical Karly-bitch remark.
She failed.
Miserably.
She could never tell him that his fear had come true. His genetic line wouldn’t end with him, because he had already planted the seeds for a future generation.
And now, in spite of her moral belief that as one half of this baby’s creator he had the right to know and to make choices about his involvement, she couldn’t tell him.
Chapter Four
True to his word, Ben had stayed to help Karly. He was happy that she seemed to accept his presence, except it meant he hadn’t slept and he had a big meeting to drag his pathetic ass to.
“Hey, Knight.” Cole, his business partner and best friend, barely glanced over his paperwork as Ben strolled in. He did a double take when he noticed Ben’s disheveled appearance. “Rough night?”
Ben mumbled as he shuffled into his office. He hadn’t had time to stop home to change, but he had a spare shirt hanging in his office closet.
Cole stood in the doorway, not bothering to hide his amusement.
“Haven’t seen you pull an all-nighter in a while. What’s her name? Of did you bother to ask?”
“Don’t be a shit,” Ben growled, buttoning his top button. He didn’t know why, couldn’t even begin to explain his reasoning, but he wanted to keep Karly to himself. Didn’t even want to mention her name to Cole.
How he had become so fixated on her was beyond his ability to comprehend.
He could admit to himself that he’d had a thing for her for a while. Hell, with those tits and that give-a-guy-hell personality, how could he not? He thought he’d finally get her out of his system when they hooked up at Cole’s wedding.
If anything, he had been infected even more.
“Pretty grouchy for someone who spent the night on a conquest,” Cole joked.
Ben looked away before his friend could read his expression.
“Wait a second. You were out all night and you weren’t getting it on?”
“Of course I was,” Ben lied, tightening his tie.
“Bull.” Cole walked away, laughing his traitorous ass off.
“Ben’s got a girlfriend,” he sang in the taunting tone used by annoying siblings and elementary-aged children.
“You’ve got to start hanging out with your friends again. Spending all of your time with your kindergarten teacher wife is killing your manhood,” Ben shouted out the door.
“That’s not what she said last night.”
Ben chewed the inside of his cheek.
Sure, hot sex would have been nice. Really nice. He had expected it, actually. But spending time with Karly doing normal things also felt nice. In a completely unexpected way that had him checking to make sure his equipment was still intact.
Ben stumbled through the day, managing to stay awake thanks to the espresso machine in the lobby. He knew his presentation had won their architectural firm the new contract.
He was at the top of his game.
In fact, things in the business world were feeling a bit… easy. He missed the challenge, the uncertainty.
Maybe it was time to explore the waters of another challenge.
Maybe a challenge he had always run from.
Maybe a challenge involving Karly.
As soon as he arrived home at the end of the day, Ben took a quick shower. He struggled to think of an excuse to stop by Karly’s house again.
Hell, why did he need an excuse? She’d give him her infamous glare whether he had a reason to be there or not. Maybe she’d be extra sassy with him if he showed up and plopped himself on her sofa for no reason whatsoever.
Maybe she’d be feeling well enough by now to allow herself to be seduced out of those tight yoga pants and that erection-provoking tank top.
Maybe she’d even do the seducing.
Yes, she was the hottest seductress he had ever met.
And the thought of her seducing anyone else had him rushing through his shower and throwing on his favorite T-shirt so he could get over there faster.
A knock on his door as he grabbed his keys had him smiling. Maybe they had the same idea. She was making the next move in this game of erotic chess.
He opened the door slowly, not wanting to appear too eager. One look down and she’d clearly see his excitement, so he hoped his winning smile would be a distraction.
If she knew how easily he reacted to her, it would be game over. She’d know she was the clear winner.
“Oh my god, Ben, I’m so glad you’re home.”
Ben blinked at the unexpected visitor.
“Jules?”
He’d know the voice of Julia Miles anywhere, even though her face was shadowed by an extra large hood. She held the covering tightly around her neck, her eyes darting back and forth.
“Are you busy?” Her voice was tight, shrill. Her hands shook.
“No, not at all. Come in.” He pulled her in and looked past her, expecting an armed gunman or some other danger, given the vibe she was sending. “What’s up?”
Her lips trembled. He studied her face, sure he was mistaken. No way in hell was her face bloody and bruised.
“Who did this to you?” Ben roared, enraged that someone would pummel a woman that way. A sweet, kind, gentle soul like Julia, especially.
Tears streamed down Julia’s bruised cheeks as her shoulders shook. Ben’s hands formed fists at his side. He had to kick some ass. But whose?
He hadn’t seen Julia in ages. Last he had known, she had gone back to graduate school. He didn’t know if she was married, dating, or what.
“Please, Ben, please stay calm.”
“Calm? You look like you’ve been used as a punching bag, and you want me to stay calm?”
Her voice squeaked, “I need to be away from anger. Please.”
“Shit. Sorry. Come here.” He pulled her in for a hug. A large bump pushed against him. “You’re pregnant?”
She pulled away and nodded, blood dripping from a freshly reopened cut as she nibbled on her lip.
With his thumb, he brushed away the blood.
“Stop nibbling. You’re hurting yourself.”
Julia leapt into his arms again, burying her face in his neck.
“I’ve missed you, Ben!”
He held her for a few moments before holding her at arm’s length so he could study her face. He needed answers.
“Did the father of the baby do this to you?”
Terror registered on her face.
“It’s okay. You’re safe. No one will hurt you again.”
“That’s not a promise anyone can keep.”
Her words, quietly delivered with the sharpest edge he’d ever heard, cut him. No doubt, he had let her down. She had saved him, and he hadn’t been there to protect her. That would change today.
“Jules, look at me.” He forced her chin up. Her eyes softened when she made eye contact. “You’re here now. You’re safe. There’s not a chance in hell that anyone will be coming near you again. Hear me? You can trust me.”
Her eyes filled with tears again. She nodded as they spilled over her cheeks and into the corners of her mouth.
“I trust you.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her to the sofa.
“Start talking. I’ll get you a drink.” He paused at the doorway to the kitchen. “What do pregnant ladies drink, anyway?”
Apparently pregnancy was in the air—first his best friend’s new wife, then the photos last night, and now Julia. Things like these come in threes. Or something was in the air. Or some horrible cliché that had his balls crawling up inside him. He’d have to be extra careful to avoid the plague.
Julia requested tea, but she settled for packaged hot cocoa he found deep in his cabinet.
He made himself a strong cup of coffee.
“He wasn’t always so horrible. He was the most charming and wonderful man you’d ever meet.
You would have liked him.”
Ben doubted it, but he kept his judgments to himself as he listened to Julia recount the story of her love-gone-wrong.
“I guess he just can’t handle the pressure of having a baby. He blames me, but it’s not like I did it on my own, you know?”
Ben pulled Julia closer, letting her head rest on his chest as she sobbed a fresh wave of tears.
He didn’t know what to say. All he knew was that if that piece of slug shit ever tried to come near Julia again, he’d become a permanent part of the Healing Springs pavement. Right under Ben’s boot.
Ben rubbed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
After a few minutes of crying, she lifted her head and pulled away.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where to go.”
“You made the right choice.”
“I just showed up out of nowhere. I didn’t want to call because he’s been tracking my phone, so I ditched it.”
“Smart move. Have you used any credit cards?”
“No. I took out as much cash from the ATM as I could before I ditched town.”
“That’s my Jules. Always thinking resourcefully.”
He smiled and held her hand.
“I’m so lucky to have you, Ben. You’re the big brother I always wished for.”
“Hey, you were there for me when I was desperate and needed help. I’ll never forget those days, Jules. Never. I’m glad you came here.”
“At least it’s not the middle of the night,” Julia joked.
“You were a tough one to wake up. I thought your window would break from the rocks I had to throw, and then I’d be in even more trouble.”
Laughter replaced her tears as they recounted the night Ben had been kicked out of one of his many foster homes. It had been a winter night and he had nowhere to go, so Julia had hidden him in her garage—fully equipped with an electric blanket and a crapload of food—until he could save enough money to rent a room from a boarding house in the city. He had been seventeen, a few months away from graduation, and forced to drop out.
“Those people were such assholes,” Julia said, her own tiny hands balling into fists.
Two Is a Lonely Number Page 4