by Lucy Clark
What if the apartment was about to catch fire? What if Tommy was hurt? If he’d fallen and split his head open? What if a burglar had crashed through her living-room window? What if she was in mortal danger? What if she was hurt?
He’d pounded on the door. His heart hammering as fast as his mind was sifting through what he might find on the other side of the door. And then…she’d opened it. And she’d looked…stunning.
Whatever resolutions he’d made, whatever speeches he’d given, whatever else he’d done to trick himself into thinking nothing existed between them, that there was no reciprocal attraction, were completely useless. It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a debate, it was a fact. Summer was stunning.
‘No.’ She held up both hands. ‘Don’t.’ Closing her eyes, she shook her head. ‘Please, don’t.’ When she opened them, it was to find he’d shoved his hands into his pockets.
‘Don’t what?’
‘Look at me the way you’re looking at me.’
‘Why not? You’re looking at me in much the same way.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’ Summer still didn’t seem able to move from the spot where she stood. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You screamed.’
‘I know. I’m sorry,’ she repeated. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you.’
Jason took another step closer and this time Summer found she could move and shifted backwards. ‘You’ve been disturbing me since we first met.’ His voice was rich, was full of raw, honest emotion.
‘I have?’ The words rushed out on a breath of pure excitement. No man had ever spoken to her in such an open and honest way before and she found it incredibly powerful and highly addictive.
‘Yes. Oh, yes.’ He came closer and this time, when she stepped back, she found herself against the wall. Jason continued towards her, only stopping when he was standing so close she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He was so near, creating such havoc with her equilibrium, that her palms started to perspire.
‘Uh…well, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.’
‘Don’t apologise.’
With her eyes fixed on his, her lips parted to allow the pent-up air to escape as her breathing continued at the rate of knots.
‘Because it also appears that I have an equal reaction on you,’ he continued.
‘Yes.’ The word was whispered without hesitation.
‘You’re not scared of me?’
‘No. Not of you but of the way you make me feel.’
‘Because you don’t want to feel that way?’
‘Correct.’
‘Me neither.’
Summer swallowed and knew she either needed to get some much-needed distance between them or to throw caution and common sense completely to the wind and close the distance between them.
‘Yet we do,’ she continued. ‘Jason, I’m just not ready for—’
‘Shh.’ He placed a warm finger over her lips and Summer thought she would come apart, every nerve ending in her body ready to explode. ‘I understand.’
‘You do?’ Her words were now barely audible but she knew Jason could hear her. It was as though in that moment their hearts and their minds were completely connected and that had never happened to her before.
‘Yes.’
‘That makes one of us.’
‘Neither of us asked for this thing between us, Summer, but it’s there.’
‘What do we do?’
Jason’s eyes flicked down to her lips, looking at the rich fullness, the sweetness he knew he was only a breath away from tasting. If he leaned forward, if he did what he’d been wanting to do for weeks now, and pressed his lips to hers, he knew she wouldn’t fight him. He also knew that the instant he did that, he wouldn’t be able to stop. So powerful was the pull towards her that for the first time since Amanda had ripped his heart out and torn it into a million little pieces, Jason had the desire to risk it all again, to gamble with the one thing that had torn his life apart before, and if he wasn’t careful could tear his life apart again. Was he that strong? Could he resist Summer?
He had to. For both their sakes.
Still looking at her lips, he dragged air into his lungs and forced himself to take a giant step backwards. ‘Nothing.’ His eyes met hers and he could see both relief combined with immense disappointment welling up within her.
‘Nothing?’ she repeated. Why, although she knew it was completely and utterly the right thing to do, did that knowledge make her suddenly feel so sad?
‘We can’t, Summer.’
She nodded, knowing he spoke the truth. ‘No. We can’t.’
‘I’ve had one failed marriage and from the few things you’ve said it’s clear you’ve been through your own problems since your husband’s death. The attraction is definitely there but the timing isn’t. If it was a few more years down the track, if things were more settled for both of us then…’ He stopped, forcing himself not to look at her luscious lips. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Summer, and although that may sound self-sacrificing, it isn’t, because I also don’t want to get hurt. Not again.’
‘That’s fair enough.’ Somehow, from somewhere, rational thought was starting to return and if he kept his distance, they might actually be able to get through this. Summer held her hands firmly together in an effort to stop herself from fidgeting. ‘Your wife really pulled you apart?’
‘Inside out,’ he confirmed.
‘I’m sorry, Jason.’
He took his hand from his pocket and raked it through his hair. ‘We live, we learn, we grow up.’ We vow never to go down that path again, he added silently, as though trying to bring himself back into line.
‘Yes, we do, although some days I really wish I could let go. You know, be like I used to be back in med school before I was forced to grow up.’
A slow smile spread over Jason’s face. ‘Exactly. My life before I met Amanda seemed to be filled with…’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Contentment?’
‘I suppose so, yes. I had confidence in myself on a personal level. When I met Amanda and realised she was interested in me, I was surprised.’
‘Why?’
His smile increased and he shook his head. ‘I keep forgetting you’re not from around these parts and therefore don’t know the story.’
‘Will you tell me?’
‘There isn’t much to tell. Amanda was a model. Is still a model. A very successful one now but back then she was just starting out. Small things at first. She entered beauty pageants. She was crowned Miss Ballarat three years in a row.’
‘Three years? Impressive.’
‘For her, yes. She started getting some modelling work in Melbourne just before we got engaged. Afterwards, she encouraged me to apply for a job at the Melbourne Children’s Hospital and so we lived in the city for most of our married life. She modelled. I worked long hours in the paediatric unit there but my heart was back here in Ballarat.’ He shrugged again. ‘When she announced she’d been offered work overseas, I just wasn’t interested. That’s about it, really. We seemed to spend less and less time together and grew apart.’
She could clearly tell that wasn’t all. There was definitely more to the story but tonight that was all he was going to give. ‘Absence sometimes doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.’
‘You say that as though you mean it.’
‘I do.’
Jason shifted, knowing he was about to cross that invisible line once more. ‘Summer, I take it your marriage wasn’t all that happy?’
‘It was at first as I think all marriages are, otherwise why would you do it? Then things start to go wrong. People change or you find out the truth about them. I don’t know. I guess it was that Cameron needed me to be a certain sort of person and because I loved him I did my best. He worked long hours at the hospital, had a hand in the family business, which his father still ran, and was heavily involved in charity events, largely sponsored by his family.’
Jaso
n frowned for a moment. ‘Family?’ Then his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. ‘Hoyts. Your surname is Hoyts!’
‘You knew that.’
‘You belong to the Hoyts family?’
‘Belonged. Past tense.’
‘They practically own Sydney. Heavily into property, the stock markets, supporting local businesses and raising millions for charity.’ He whistled. ‘They do good work.’
‘I’m not denying that.’
‘Ah.’ A lightbulb went on in his mind. ‘You were required to change in order to fit in with the family image.’
‘To an extent, yes.’
‘Which is why you dress the way you do.’
Summer gave him a puzzled smile. ‘Do I dress a certain way?’ She indicated her pyjamas.
‘You dress…’ As his gaze washed over her, he felt the same tightening in his gut which he’d only just managed to relax. He took a step back. ‘You dress impeccably and everything you wear looks amazing on you.’ He looked away and raked both hands through his hair.
‘I’m wearing my oldest pyjamas.’
‘And I’ve already told you that you look stunning.’ Her big blue eyes, her loose, flowing blond hair, her lithe body. In that moment Jason realised he could be in real trouble if he stayed. He cleared his throat. ‘Uh…and this is where we came in.’
‘Hmm?’ It took another second for her mind to clear from the way he’d been looking at her again. ‘Oh, right. I screamed. You almost broke down my door and then… Yes. This is where we came in.’
‘Why did you scream? I guess as I came over here to rescue you, I should at least find out why.’
‘True. Uh…spider.’
‘I’ll get it for you.’
‘It’s…uh…in my…bedroom.’
‘Bedroom?’ That was the one room in her apartment he knew he should avoid but he’d come over here to play the hero and play the hero he would just as long as she kept her distance. ‘We can’t have you sleeping with a spider crawling around in your room. Whereabouts was it?’
Summer started to head towards her room to show him but he stopped her.
‘Just tell me where it is or was. You don’t need to show me.’ Because they didn’t need to be alone in that room. Where the bed was. Where she slept.
‘Oh. All right. Well, it should be somewhere around the packing box. It’s the last box and I thought I’d just get it unpacked before bed and when I took out a book it was on it and…’ She shuddered and started brushing off her shoulders as though it might be on there.
‘Right. Well, before you start doing the spider-slap-dance, as my sister used to, I’ll go get it. Can you get me a glass and piece of paper or something I can slide beneath the glass?’
‘Sure.’ Summer quickly went into the kitchen and retrieved what he needed then headed to her room. She saw Jason standing at the foot of her bed, looking down at the wedding picture she’d tossed there. What did he see when he looked at that photograph? All Summer saw were broken promises and a life built on lies. ‘Jason?’
‘Hmm?’ He turned, a guilty look flitting across his face before he came and took the items from her. He pointed to the photograph. ‘You look happy.’
‘I was and then I wasn’t. I didn’t know what to do with the photographs and family things but I owe it to Tommy to keep them and—’
‘It’s OK. You don’t need to explain. We both have pasts.’ He held up the paper and the glass. ‘Thanks. Now be very, very quiet. I’m hunting spiders.’ He winked at her and in that instant Summer felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She couldn’t explain why but it was as though she knew no matter how much she and Jason had just shared about their past hurts or no matter how intent they were on ignoring the mounting attraction between them, the new friendship they’d somehow managed to forge was going to survive and that, in itself, meant the world to her.
Summer worked through the weekend, enjoying the different pace. She was required in A and E for quite a few consults because the town was definitely getting into the Christmas cheer. This week’s event for the Twelve Weeks of Christmas was a bike ride through the city and then around Lake Wendouree with the general community getting involved.
She saw two boys who had fractured their arms after falls from their bikes, treated several patients for cuts and minor abrasions, admitted one eleven-year-old girl who was suffering from dehydration and treated a completely unrelated case of a toddler getting into the medicine cabinet and drinking a bottle of paracetamol. Thankfully, activated charcoal did the trick but Summer wanted the child admitted overnight for observation.
‘You certainly had a busy time of it on the weekend,’ Jason commented when he read through the reports for the past few days.
‘Yes. Brilliant introduction to the weekend shift, I thought.’
‘I’ll bet you’re used to handling three times as many cases with your hands tied behind your back while hopping up and down on one leg whistling “Dixie”.’
Summer smiled. ‘Actually, I whistle the tune to “Timbuktu” but close enough.’
Jason laughed, simply enjoying being with her. He knew they couldn’t do anything about the attraction they felt towards each other, and openly admitting it to each other had actually helped to take a bit of pressure off his shoulders. However, he’d definitely found himself thinking about her even more after he’d removed the spider from her apartment on Friday evening.
He no longer needed to wonder what she looked like with her hair down. He no longer needed to wonder what she looked like before she went to bed. He no longer needed to wonder what it would be like to be so close to her he could feel her tremble.
Those thoughts alone had been his constant companions over the weekend, and while he’d been spending time with his sister, Cassandra, he’d often found his thoughts turning to Summer. Several times he’d convinced himself he could just idly drop into the hospital to see how she was doing, under the pretence of having paperwork to complete, but he’d held himself in check and kept away. His distractedness, however, hadn’t escaped his sister’s notice and he’d had to work hard to successfully evade her probing questions.
‘So, how did Tommy’s sleep-over at Bradley’s go?’
‘Very well.’
‘He survived? You didn’t have to go and pick him up at eleven o’clock in the evening?’
‘No. He did very well and is extremely proud of himself.’
‘He has every right to be. And what about Bradley? How’s he coping?’ He knew Summer would have taken the opportunity to watch their young patient, to see how he was coping in his home environment with the eye patching he would require for quite a few months.
‘Very well. His vision was tracking perfectly when I went to pick up Tommy and he seems to be coping well with the lack of depth perception. Of course, Tommy had a patch over his eye, too, and both of them were busy playing pirates.’
Jason’s grin was wide. ‘Any excuse will do. That’s an excellent report.’
‘Thank you. Oh, and I did receive a call on Sunday afternoon from Katy’s parents. Apparently she banged her head on the dining-room table. They couldn’t see any damage and although Katy was a little upset when it happened, she soon quietened down, but I still thought it best if she was reviewed. They brought her in, everything looks fine, but they want you to put their minds at rest because they trust you.’
‘OK. That doesn’t bother you at all? Them wanting a second opinion from me?’
‘Not at all. As parents, they need to be confident their daughter is healthy and if you’re the person they’ll listen to most, go to it.’
Jason only nodded. He knew it was because Summer was a mother that she understood these sorts of things. ‘I presume you’ve added her to the clinic list?’
‘I have indeed.’
‘Good. Thank you, Dr Hoyts.’
‘You’re welcome, Dr Daniels.’
They sat at the nurses’ station, simply smiling at each other
for a few seconds.
‘Well. I have meetings,’ Jason said, breaking eye contact as he picked up a batch of papers to take with him. He wasn’t two steps away from the desk before he stopped and turned back. ‘Summer, I keep forgetting to ask if you’re going to be free this Saturday.’
‘This Saturday?’ Her heart began to hammer. Why did he want to know if she was free? Was he going to ask her out? She wasn’t sure what to do as she thought they’d agreed that they were simply going to be friends and now he was asking her whether or not she was free on Saturday.
‘Tommy, too, if he’s not at Bradley’s again.’
‘Tommy, too?’
‘Is there an echo?’ He laughed. ‘It’s nothing major except that this hospital provides a home-care service, mainly for those patients who require a bit of extra follow-up after their discharge. Doctors are rostered on from all departments and this weekend is my turn. You won’t be on until after Christmas but I thought if you wanted to tag along with me, see what the protocols and procedures are, it might be fun.’
‘To go on house calls?’ She’d done the odd house call in Sydney and it hadn’t been fun in any way, shape or form.
‘Sure.’
‘And you want me to bring Tommy?’
‘I think he’d enjoy it. He’d get to meet a few more people, see a bit more of the area.’ And he would be able to spend time with the seven-year-old. From what he’d seen of Tommy, he was a quiet boy who was very wary of people. Jason liked kids but he also liked to find out what made each one tick. He’d found that in doing so it had helped him numerous times when it came to treating his patients. Tommy also seemed…a bit broken, for want of a better word, and that alone intrigued him. Besides, he and Summer were friends and for that reason he wanted to get to know her son a bit better. ‘So what do you say?’
Summer thought for a moment and knew that if Jason said it was going to be fun, then it was probably because he made it fun. He seemed to have a knack for turning mundane tasks into an adventure. ‘OK.’
‘Excellent. I’ll come and knock on your door around seven.’