Then the weirdness struck again, and she remembered this was Jake Hogan she was deviantly lusting after, and apparently assuming a future with. She was glad she had a friend handy to discuss it with, at least. And this safe space here in the blanket fort, where she felt like she and Jake could talk about anything, and if she didn’t know how to say something he’d understand her anyway.
“Jake, seriously. Have we screwed everything up?”
“By sleeping together? I thought we demonstrated quite a bit of competence in that area, myself. I don’t think we screwed up any part of that, except for waiting too long to do it in the first place. I’d have rather kept you to myself a little longer,” he admitted, shifting her on his lap. “Now that everyone knows, there’s no way I can get away with locking you up in my basement lair as my permanent sex slave.”
“That might not be such a bad deal. Speaking hypothetically, if you did, could I have my laptop down there?” She snuggled in again, setting her wine bottle aside next to his empty beer.
“Oh sure. I’d be a kind and benevolent master. Besides, you’d have to churn out books to support us in our decadent kinky habits.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead then tipped her chin up with a finger. His eyes looked stern, and Tess knew he was trying to be serious. Mostly she found it so hot as to be distracting.
“Hey. You came back to town looking for yourself. I know that. Not for me. I want this, Tess, I won’t lie or pretend it’s not serious, because like I said, that’s bullshit. But I don’t want this to be your easy out or something you think you can do instead of figuring out your life. That won’t work and we’d both end up regretting it down the line. You don’t have to do this because people are talking about it, or because you kind of fell into it and feel obligated now. Or even because I got pissed off a minute ago. You do have a choice and I’ll support it, no matter what it is.”
He was talking about it as though it were a done deal, however. As though he assumed they were a couple now, they would have a down the line unless she said otherwise. The fact that she felt the same way was daunting, but exciting all the same. Somehow, together, she and Jake had come into focus after years of trying to ignore the blurry outlines. The timing might suck, but that didn’t mean Tess wanted to turn that knob back in the opposite direction. Not if Jake was this determined, especially.
“You consider yourself the easy out, Hogan? May I remind you of the past day and a half and the welts on my butt that suggest otherwise? You do come with a few very odd, unexpected strings attached.”
His hand slipped from her waist down to the butt in question, skimming over the denim-clad curve. A complementary thrill traveled from her seat to her belly, nerves firing up in preparation for more.
“Welts? I don’t recall any welts. I’d better check it out and refresh my memory.”
“Oh really?”
“Take everything off.”
“Is that how this whole thing works then? You get a boner and it’s game on for BDSM?”
“Like you don’t have a huge ladyboner for me right now. Take your clothes off.”
“I’m serious,” she insisted, pushing against his chest. “How does this work? Tell me the rules.” Once she knew them, she could start bending them.
Jake shrugged and reached for his beer, tipping it back before remembering he’d already finished it. He’d left the rest of the pack outside the fort. “It works however we want it to work. It’s not like we’re going to be audited to see if we’re doing kink wrong.”
She giggled, picturing what that audit would look like. “I’ll bet there’s a porno of that though.”
“Probably.”
“It seems like there should be rules, somehow.”
He shook his head and started tugging her shirt off over her head. Tess raised her arms obligingly to facilitate. “There kind of are. Safety first. But you also have to realize you’re doing things that can be inherently risky. And everyone has to consent to everything. Those are the rules. I have some personal guidelines, of course, but that’s different.”
“Let’s hear ’em.” She turned her back so he could unhook her bra, then shivered as his fingers traced down her spine.
“We’ve been breaking a big one.”
“Mmm?” The cozy space was already filled with the anticipation of sex. Tess could feel it in Jake’s touch, hear it in his voice, and it was already driving her to distraction. When he nipped the top of her shoulder, she yelped, not expecting the sudden pain.
“Pay attention. The safeword thing. That isn’t just for you, you know, it’s for me too. When I gave you a safeword, I wasn’t daring you not to use it. You’re putting all this trust in me, but I have to be able to trust you to know your limits and stop me if it’s too much.”
“It wasn’t—”
“It was. And if you really can’t stop yourself, Tess, then we can’t do this anymore. It wouldn’t be safe or healthy for either of us.”
Her mouth went dry, her shoulders locked. She’d been planning to send him packing when she drove up, but now the idea of not doing this anymore hit her with a sick thud. Over that? She could still lose him over that? “I can though. I mean I will. I’ll try.”
“Shh.” His lips grazed the spot he’d bitten earlier, and he stroked around her waist to start unbuttoning her jeans. “We’ll work on it. Together. I’ll train you. Starting tonight.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Now finish taking your clothes off, and I’ll demonstrate the penalty for not taking your clothes off in the first place. And for coming in here thinking you were going to break up with me.”
She wriggled out of her jeans, shoving them out of the small enclosure to make room, then knelt between Jake’s extended legs and waited.
“No arguments?” He seemed surprised, his eyebrows arching, wrinkling his forehead. “Even when you’re not on a silence dare?”
“Don’t judge my perversions, man.”
“Far be it from me, kitten. Okay then.” He patted his thighs. “Assume the position. Facedown, head this direction, ass right about here.” He wiggled his fingers in the air, and Tess crawled into place eagerly. She’d wanted this, craved it all day. Jake’s legs solid and warm under her, his arm wrapped around her waist, pinning her in place. She rested her head on her crossed arms and squirmed to feel him tighten his grip.
“Why do I like this so much?”
Jake skimmed his palm over her thigh, bringing it to rest right below one buttock. Tess shifted her legs open, eager for more, but he ignored the hint. “Which part do you mean?”
“The pain part. The mind-fuck part. All of it. Even that thing you did last night, you bastard. I mean seriously, what the hell?”
He moved his fingers, describing tiny circles on the soft skin of her inner thigh. “You think too much.”
“I only want to figure out—”
“No, that’s my answer. You think too much. This is… This is rock skipping, it’s a Zen thing. You can’t do it yourself anymore; you said so. This is a way to get somebody else to do it for you. Or to you. Now stop asking questions so I can give you a rule.”
She giggled and shot him a thumb’s-up.
“You should be naked a lot. There’s a rule. Be naked whenever possible. If I’m in the room, your clothes should fall right off. Except you can wear my shirt in the morning, that’s kind of hot.
“And if you don’t get naked, I spank you. But before you get excited,” he warned when she perked up, “there’s a catch. Yesterday I warmed you up slowly. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about a hard spanking with no foreplay, which hurts like fuck.”
He demonstrated, a series of searing, sharp thwacks across the meat of her butt on one side, pulling a startled yell from Tess’ lips.
“Ow! Hey!” She tried to crawl away but he was holding on too tightly.
“Told you.”
Each slap sounded like a shot, loud but with all the reverb muffled by the blanket
around them. Tess wanted to do what she’d done the day before, converting the pain into something else, but Jake gave her no time to adjust. As he’d said, without warm-up or foreplay to ease the transition, it hurt like one expected a spanking to hurt.
He kept going until she stopped struggling, her indignant cries subsiding into whimpers, then put his hand back on her butt to cover the sorest part with gentle, warm pressure. They were both breathing hard, their bodies taut with anticipation.
“This wasn’t as hard or long as it would have been if you weren’t already marked up from yesterday. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You couldn’t hurt me,” she whispered. She had never felt safer than she did at this moment, in fact. Or more at home.
Jake shifted under her, and she felt his growing hardness under her hip. This might not have been meant as foreplay for her, but it obviously was for him. Her body responded in kind, loosening, opening, yearning.
“I could though. This isn’t fantasyland. We need to learn your limits.” Stroking, soothing. His fingers dipped closer to her pussy but never quite connected. Maddening. “This isn’t therapy. It isn’t confession. I’m definitely not your parent or your naughty headmaster.”
“I understand, Lord Jake. It’s nothing but good clean fun between consenting adults. No issues, nothing to see here, move along.”
“On the other hand, would it freak you out if I said I’d thought about doing this sometimes after you’d shot your mouth off to someone in an especially obnoxious way?”
“Spanking me?”
“Yeah. Hard. Until you said you’re sorry and meant it. And then shutting you up with my cock in your mouth.”
Freaked out? No. Not her immediate reaction. “I’m torn. Because on the one hand, so hot, even if I’m still not sure why. On the other hand, as you said, it hurts like fuck. If I said I was cool with it, would you agree to always make it worth my while after?”
He laughed out loud and swatted her. “Not with that attitude.”
“You love that attitude, admit it.”
“I—oh no, brace yourself, kitten—I love you. The attitude is part of the package. Brat.”
She let it soak in for a minute. The truth of it. Jake loving her. Part of the truth was that it didn’t surprise her, because she’d always known. Just as everyone had always told both of them. Everyone turned out to be right. Fate. It didn’t terrify her the way she thought it might. “You know I’d have to say stuff sometimes just to get a reaction from you.”
“I’d probably be counting on that.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“Yeah, a bit. But imagine it,” he suggested, slipping his fingers between her legs again, more purposefully this time. “You’re talking to someone, you get a little lippy, then you look up and realize I’ve overheard you. And we both know what’s coming later. For the rest of the day or the party or however long, we’re both thinking about it.”
Oh. She braced against the floor, searching for leverage to push against his fingers, rub her clit against his thigh, anything for more stimulation. Arousal pulled her walls down, made her braver than she might have been otherwise. “I have a book I want you to read.”
Jake’s hand slowed, stopped. “I beg your pardon?”
“Not right this second,” she explained. “Carry on with what you were doing. But remind me later.”
“I see. Don’t forget who’s giving the orders around here, kitten. Maybe I don’t want to carry on.” He nudged her off his lap, and Tess scrambled to a sitting position to see him taking his shirt off, arms brushing the blanket canopy and threatening to pull it down. Then his shoes, sock and pants, until he was as naked as she was except for the condom he procured from his pocket and rolled on in one hasty sweep.
Sitting back in his spot, he pulled her over. Tess straddled him and let her weight carry her down, carry her onto his cock, relishing the friction and Jake’s groan when she settled in his lap.
“That’s better. So much better. I was dying,” he admitted. “You were saying something about a book?”
Tess shifted, experimenting until she found the perfect angle, the one that brought her clitoris into contact with the teasing brush of coarse hair and tender skin at the base of Jake’s cock. “Later.”
“Is it the one you’re working on right now?” He pinned her hips, his broad hands permitting no movement.
She tried staring him down but it was a hopeless effort. She’d never gotten anywhere with Jake Hogan that way. Deciding on a different tactic, one newly available, she squeezed hard against his rigid length inside her, and was rewarded with a sharp breath and some rapid blinking from the man in supposed control.
“No. It was the first one I wrote. But I’ll tell you about it later.”
“Later,” he agreed, his eyelids fluttering shut. His upper lip tightened as she flexed again, and his hands finally relinquished their grip so she could move.
He was allowing it, she thought. Indulging her and letting himself go. They moved together, slowly at first and then more desperately, rolling onto the floor at one point and taking the blanket with them. Jake shoved it aside to uncover them and the stack of boxes toppled with a crashing series of thuds.
Lifting her head to peer over the coffee table, Tess blearily scanned the boxes. “I think it was all books.”
“It was,” he reassured her, pulling her back down for a heated kiss.
She’d been close before the crash, was close still, the pressure inside her a persistent aching presence. The change in angle sent her over and she cried out against Jake’s lips as she came in a wave of sheer, glorious relief. Seconds later he arched, bucked into her and broke the kiss to call her name.
Gasping, shaking, they fell back to earth between the couch and the table. They were too sated to laugh, so they grinned at each other like dopy, lovesick fools instead.
The car horn sounded like it was in the cottage with them.
Tess yelped, Jake yelled, and there was a sudden flurry of jeans and blanket and pillows held protectively in front of bare body parts. Jake, in pants and nothing else, peered through the window then cursed softly. Tess, finally locating her sweater, yanked it over her head and pulled on jeans before joining him by the door.
“It’s your sister,” he whispered. “What’s she doing here?”
“I have no idea. I thought she was getting into town tomorrow.”
“Well, what do you want to do? If we pretend we’re not here, will she go away?”
Tess leaned into his chest for a second, fortifying herself, then surveyed the disaster that was the living room. Shoes and socks flung wide, her bra on the couch, Jake’s belt slung over the coffee table and the ruin of the blanket fort all indicated that boisterous hanky-panky had clearly been going down. Tess realized her underwear was lumped up inside one leg of her jeans, working their way down slowly toward her knee. She briefly pondered where the condom had gone then decided she’d just assume Jake had already dealt with it. Better not to think about the alternative.
“We could just let her in,” he suggested.
Her sister Lindy was knocking now, polite but firm. It didn’t sound like the knock of somebody who thought there was no one home. And Tess’ car was probably still warm and ticking in the driveway, a dead giveaway.
“Tess? I can hear you guys in there, you know.”
“Fuck.” She sighed and shrugged, gesturing at the room then back at Jake. “If we let her in, it’s like this is…official.”
He nodded gravely. “Official.”
Then he grinned and opened the door.
Chapter Thirteen
The leaves were everywhere, so thick on the ground that Tess couldn’t see how there could still be any left on the trees. They gathered along the edges of the sidewalk and clung to the lace and beading on the bottom hem of Allison’s wedding gown, even with the train bustled up. By the time the bridal party made it from the parking lot to the lobby of the big Victorian B&B whe
re the wedding and reception would be held, the gown looked like an autumn-themed tablecloth.
“We need to get one of the little girls in here to be the designated leaf-picker,” Lindy suggested, fretting around her cousin’s satin-clad feet. “It looks like people are starting to show up, so there should be somebody around. But I can’t believe they’re here already. It’s only ten.”
“I should’ve gotten dressed here.” Allison kicked carefully at the layers of her skirt, knocking off some of the debris. “I didn’t feel like carrying all the stuff though.”
Her cell phone trilled and she yanked it out of the tote bag she carried. Grinning and bouncing on her toes, she read the screen then tapped out a quick text before stowing the phone.
“Again?” Tess sighed. “He’s texted you like twenty times already this morning.”
“Yeah. Twenty-two, actually.”
The proprietress greeted them, scurrying to escort them to a lavish bedroom furnished in the same Victorian style as the rest of the inn. Marielle, the maid of honor, helped Allison seat herself at the opulent marble vanity table, while Tess pulled out her makeup bag and surveyed her tools. She’d forgotten how much stuff she had.
Her nails were done again now, every part of her body buffed and polished, waxed or sloughed. She and Lindy had traveled back to Dinsdale for the spa day, in the end. Tess had endured the spa owner’s cries of distress at the state of her grooming, but it had been worth it for Jake’s appreciative reaction when she got back home that night.
Home. Jake’s house, definitely. The cottage was her office for several hours a day, and she’d been going practically nonstop with wedding preparations the rest of the time this past week or so, but she spent her evenings and nights at Jake’s, doing domesticity. Naked domesticity. He’d talked her through another freak-out or three, and Tess was growing more comfortable with the idea that he wasn’t going anywhere, that she could depend on him. That it didn’t make her weak or stupid to do so, that she didn’t have to have all the answers.
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