by Tiffani Lynn
He looks at Finn for the first time since he got here and says, “I heard you two were dating. Good choice, my boy! Not a better woman out there besides my Betty. Don’t screw it up.”
Finn’s replies, “Yes, sir. I’m trying not to.” Doc gives Finn a half grin and me a hug before he strolls out the door.
“Come on, let me take you to meet Justine,” Finn suggests.
We wander our way back down the halls to the front entrance. Next to Finn’s truck is a cute little yellow Volkswagen Beetle. He walks up to the window and knocks, startling a shriek out of the driver. Her hand flies to her chest and she narrows her eyes on a laughing Finn.
“Dang it Finn. That was not cool!” She half yells, half laughs at him as she maneuvers out of the vehicle.
As soon as she’s in front of us she sticks her hand out to shake mine, “I’m Justine LaFevers. I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time. If I can help you in any other way have Finn call me. I don’t mind. I’m in school a few hours a day but otherwise am very flexible.”
“Thank you so much. I appreciate this. I need a shower and clean clothes so bad.”
She smiles at me and jogs around the back of her car to the passenger side and grabs a large duffle bag and brings it back to me.
“This should have everything you need. I didn’t know your brands so I guessed but it’ll do for now. I’m serious, if you need anything please call. I wrote my number down and placed it in the bag.”
She waves and before I can say anything else, jumps in her car and pulls away.
“Wait don’t we have to pay her for this?”
“She already told me she wouldn’t take any money. I’m going to give money to her brother to wire into her account. Don’t worry I have it handled. Now before we freeze to death go to the hotel. I texted you the address. Take as much time resting, eating, and relaxing as you need. I will find you if something changes.”
He pulls me into a hug and I bury my face in his Henley and inhale his scent allowing his comfort to flow over me.
“Okay.” I tell him. “I’ll be back in a little while.”
He gives me a half grin and jogs back inside toward my sister’s room. I slide into my car and drive to the hotel. I call Tanisha on the way.
She doesn’t answer but I leave her a message:
I’m still mad at him but I’m secretly glad he’s here. Thank you for sending him and for holding down the fort for me so I can be here. Love you, girlfriend. I’ll call you later. He’s sending me to a hotel to shower and rest while he sits with Georgia.
The hotel room he booked is nice and the lady at the check in counter said that the room service is prepaid so I should use it. I call and place my order, strip off my filthy clothes and take the best shower of my life. I let the hot water roll over all of my sore limbs, helping to wash the tension from my body. As I do this my thoughts drift to Finn.
He’s adamant that nothing happened and I have heard of situations like the one he described, but I can’t seem to let what I felt when I saw the pictures go. I close my eyes as the memory flows through my mind. I was standing at my desk getting ready to call him when James entered my office and closed the door behind himself.
The look on his face concerned me so I asked, “What’s wrong, James?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this so I won’t, I’ll show you what was all over the Internet this morning.”
He nudged me over and pulled up a website I haven’t seen before. Front and center are pictures of Finn with a gorgeous brunette in his lap, kissing him and then one with them holding hands as they leave a bar. I couldn’t see all of his face in that one but I knew it was him. The set of his broad shoulders, the angle of his jaw, the large, thick hand. My heart cracked right down the middle. I pulled my phone out to call and confront him but then realized it died during the night. Probably a good thing since he’d likely find anything I say unintelligible with how hard I was crying. Not able to deal with the emotional tornado running through my heart I went home. On the way I charged my phone so when power finally came back there were several missed calls from Finn from the night before. Deciding I couldn’t stand to hear his voice I was so hurt and angry I ignored his voicemails. Then I cried all night and ignored the phone calls he continued to make. James wanted to come with me to console me, but I wanted to be alone. I felt like an idiot for believing I’d be his one and only.
My heart constricts at the memory. I can’t seem to figure out why a man like him, who could have any woman he wants, would chase me down, stay with me in an uncomfortable recliner over night, go to all this trouble so I can rest and feel human again if he’s going to move on. It doesn’t make sense. It makes me believe what he’s saying is true. I guess I need to sit down and make a list of questions to ask him when my thoughts are clearer.
Once my shower is over I wrap myself in the robe hanging in the bathroom and collect the food from room service. I eat and make notes about what I want to say to him when I go back. The longer I sit there the more my body relaxes and the idea of taking a nap before returning is seeming like a good one.
I dial Finn’s number and he answers. “You okay?” He asks, concern ringing clear in his voice.
“Yeah. How’s Georgia?”
“Still sleeping. The nurses want to come in and bathe her in an hour. Is that okay?”
“Yes, yesterday she slept through most of it. I was thinking maybe I would take a little nap if you’re still okay to stay a little longer.”
“Darcy, sleep as long as you need too. I’m planning to be here as long as I can so take advantage of this time, please. That’s the whole point. I promise to call if something changes.”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll call you when I wake up.”
“Sleep good, honey. I’ll be here.”
I hang up the phone and dig through the bag Justine brought finding the hair gel and applying it. Then I fan my hair out behind me on the bed so it’ll dry half way decent. Last, I pull the fluffy comforter and ultra soft sheets up to my neck and breath a sigh of relief as sleep moves in with a quickness.
I wake mid afternoon feeling frantic, I didn’t mean to sleep that long. I pull my phone from the pillow next to me finding three texts. The first was from James checking on me. The second from Tanisha checking on me and the third from Finn about an hour ago letting me know Georgia is exactly as I left her this morning. She didn’t wake up during her bath and was still resting quietly. I let out the breath I was holding and let the tears run down my face. I’m wound so tight right now. It’s a wonder I made it as far as I have without cracking. I needed this time of rest and I owe Finn for making it happen. I don’t waste any time as I dress and brush my teeth. When I arrive at the facility I find Finn eating a plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He grins at me and holds up a drum stick.
I smile and shake my head. “I’m good for now.”
“I ordered it awhile ago, but it just arrived. They must not be used to getting large orders in the middle of the day here.”
“Large orders?”
“I wanted to treat the staff. They take good care of her and I couldn’t think of a better way to do it so I bought everyone lunch, although it took so long it’s almost like dinner.”
A boyish grin spreads across his handsome face and I can’t help but return it. He stands with his plate in his hand and gestures for me to sit. He sits in the only other chair in the room. I sit down and lock my sapphire with his emerald eyes and say, “I have a few questions for you.”
He swallows his bite of food and puts his chicken down, grabbing a napkin to wipe his hands.
“Why did you let that happen with that girl if nothing was going on?”
“I went with Jacque to eat and check out a hockey game. In a foreign city I didn’t think anyone would recognize us so I didn’t worry about taking security. We ordered our food and were enjoying the game when a bunch of young guys came over. They recognized us and wanted to talk hockey. I h
ad no problem with that so we did. It wasn’t long before several women joined the group. I ignored them and kept talking with the guys. Jacque was getting friendly with one of the girls but I continued talking to the guys and watching the game. One of them said something funny and I laughed. At the same time, the girl in the picture dropped into my lap and kissed my face. I dumped her out of my lap, paid my bill and excused myself. While I was walking out the door she grabbed my hand and pulled me back. I told her I wasn’t interested and explained that I have a girlfriend. I shook my hand free and left. I didn’t see anyone with a camera but there must have been one. I went straight back to the hotel to call you to explain. Between social media and the paparazzi, I never know what will show up or how it will be spun. I also knew we hadn’t talked about that and I was worried you’d be upset. The only problem was you weren’t answering my calls.”
“My phone died the night before in my purse and I didn’t realize it. James came in and showed me the pictures. After I saw them I didn’t want to talk to you. I was hurt, Finn. If the roles were reversed, you would’ve felt the same I’m sure. It’s hard to think something different when there is photographic evidence.”
“James?” the scowl on his face deepens.
“Yeah. He’s a good friend.”
“Yeah he’s a really good friend.” The sarcasm dripping from his tone can’t be ignored.
“We’ve been friends for years. Why wouldn’t he show those to me?”
“You know what, let’s talk about something else for a minute while all this is on the table. You promised not to go in the scene rooms without me and the first sign of trouble you ran back in there, with a couple. Why wouldn’t you wait to at least talk to me about it before you did that? Now you’ve been with someone else when I never did anything. That. Hurts.” He’s leaned in toward me stabbing his chest to make his point.
I’m confused. When did I go in a scene room at all, much less with a couple?
“What are you talking about?” My forehead wrinkles in confusion.
“I called the club when I couldn’t reach you and James answered. When I asked to talk to you he said you’d gone in a scene room with another couple and weren’t available. Your good friend ratted you out.”
He sits back in his chair clearly pissed. What in the world was James thinking?
“That didn’t happen the way you think it did. I had to go in to a scene room when a jealous fight broke out between ex lovers. Charles called me while I was in my office working on something with James so I went. He never told me you called. I haven’t been with anyone else or even been on display for anyone else since we me made our promises. I’m sorry he made you think I was.”
He runs his hands through his hair leaving it standing on end in a crazy sexy mess.
“Maybe you need to reevaluate your friendship with him because if I wasn’t hell bent on making sure you knew the truth he would’ve destroyed what we have without you even knowing it.”
Shaking my head, I comment, “I don’t understand. It’s not like him.”
“You don’t see that he still wants you and will go to any and all lengths to get you back.”
“I guess I need to have a talk with him. I’m not interested at all. He killed that years ago. I’m sorry he told you that. I spent days crying, Finn. Days heartbroken and you can’t blame me if you’ve seen the pictures. Even Tanisha who wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt backed off once she saw the pictures for herself.”
“How did James find them so quickly? Why was he even looking? It’s not like they popped up on Sports Center or CNN. Those were on a hockey gossip site and social media. I took the tags off of my name as soon as she tried to tag me in the them.”
“I don’t know.”
He stands and places his plate on my sister’s dresser. Georgia is still resting quietly, there’s only been a soft snore to let me know she’s still breathing.
He takes two steps over to me and pulls me up and into his arms. “I’m in love with you, Darcy. I wouldn’t do a single thing to hurt you on purpose and I have no interest in any other woman on this earth. I want you to believe that and believe in me.”
A single tear splashes down my face and I grip his waist tight.
“I don’t expect you to say it back. In fact, I hope you won’t. This moment is for me to tell you how I feel. I’ll do anything in my power to make you happy. You’re carrying my heart in your hands right now and even though I have the body of a giant, I still have the fragile heart of a man.”
He kisses the top of my head as I let the sweet words pour through me and the tears fall. When I settle down he pulls me into his lap in the recliner. We sit without a word for a little while until I break the silence.
“I believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first.”
“I understand anger, honey. I have a temper to match an active volcano, but this one time I couldn’t let it best me. I had to talk to you before I let you go and I’ve never been more thankful for a moment of self control than I am now.”
Another soft kiss to my forehead as he updates me on everything that happened while I was gone which wasn’t much. The nurses are noticing changes with her blood pressure and pulse. Her urine output seems less since I allowed them to stop the feeding tube and she hasn’t had any intake.
The idea of having no one from my family left makes me sad but the idea of losing Georgia breaks my heart. I can’t remember my life without her in it. As I sit and contemplate my life as her sister I decide to share some of our story with Finn.
“When she was three my dad took us to a playground and while we were playing some bratty little boy pushed her down and told her she was a dummy. I was about a hundred feet away when I heard her cry. The boy was still standing over her so I ran as hard as I could and tackled him to the ground and started hitting him. I’d never been in a fight before I was acting on instinct. When the boy’s mother confronted my father after I was pulled off of him things got a little heated and the boy admitted to what he’d said. His mother did not set him straight. Instead she told my father that he should consider taking Georgia to a playground more suited to kids with issues. It was the only time I saw my dad freak out on someone on her behalf.
“When we went home that night I could hear him and my mom arguing through the walls about what kind of damage they were doing to me by keeping Georgia at home. He was worried that I’d end up hurt or in trouble trying to protect her. My mom told him that’s what sisters do.
“That wasn’t the last fight I got into for her. I fought a lot in elementary school and even got suspended once because the principal said I needed to work on my temper. By junior high and high school, I no longer needed to stand up for her. Everyone knew what would happen if she was picked on or called names. The kids in high school ended up being good to her and she was voted to the homecoming court her senior year.
“I’ve been fighting for her as long as I can remember. I love her more than I love myself. The last couple of months she hasn’t been herself as she’s declined and I’ve already felt the pain of her loss. I can’t imagine not having her here at all. I don’t know how to stop fighting for her and let her go.”
I lean over and place Georgia’s limp hand in my own and squeeze. I hold it for a long time while Finn strokes my hair. Doc arrives a little while later. He reviews her chart, steps out to talk to the nurses and then waves us into the hallway.
“Darcy, she’s getting close. It’s obvious she’s not in pain, but her vitals are changing and her output is minimal. Her organs are shutting down. I know this is hard, but I think it’s time you sign her DNR now. If her heart stops and you have them call 911 she’ll be put through so much and that would be unfair to her. It's time to say your goodbyes, hold her hand and tell her it’s okay to let go. I know this will be hard. It’s even hard for me. I love that girl, been taking care of her for a lot of years, but it’s time.”
I nod my head and choke out, “Get me the p
aper and I’ll sign it. I know it’s best I’m just really sad.” My lip trembles as I fight the emotions. His old wrinkled hand pats my cheek as he gives me a watery smile. “I know. It’ll be okay though. You need to let her go.”
After I signed the paper and the doctor signed his portion the staff was all notified and the DNR was clipped to her door so everyone would know. Once I calmed down, I sent Finn to the hotel to at least shower since he refused to stay there over night. He said he came to be with me and that’s what he is going to do. I was never so pleased to have a defiant person in my presence. He stayed with me until the very last minute of the next afternoon. Then he had to drive back to play that evening. I could tell he was torn but didn’t have a choice. He was upset too that he was unable to return that night since he had mandatory morning skate and another game the next evening. I told him not to worry about it that what he’d done by getting me two showers and some sleep was beyond my greatest expectations.
Once he left I pushed the recliner closer and held Georgia’s cold lifeless hand for a long while, more to give me comfort than her. It’s in the early hours of the morning when she makes a noticeable change. Her breathing goes from normal sleep style breathing to long periods of what the nurse calls apnea, which means she stops breathing, but starts again. Just when I start to freak out that it’s the end she takes an exaggerated breath. Knowing we’re finally at the end I whisper my goodbye to her and tell her how much I love her and how much light she brought to my life. The apnea goes on for hours and finally right before noon with me holding her hand she takes her final breath.
I fall apart completely. I should have been prepared since I was in that room for a week watching her decline. It’s the reality that broke me. I lay over her lifeless body crying so hard I can’t breathe until strong hands curl around my shoulders, pull me back and lift me into capable arms. As soon as the scent hit my nose I realize it’s Finn and I curl tight against his hard body. He sits in the recliner and holds me close as I cry it all out. He whispers that it’ll be okay and that he’s sorry and best of all that he loves me. I know I must look a mess but I don’t care I’m so glad he came back to me.