by J. D. Brown
CHAPTER 26
We arrived at the castle early the next evening. Maria had a bed freshly made in the infirmary, along with larger more permanent machines standing by. My heart tightened as Jesu and I carefully lifted Dad onto the crisp white sheets. Between the two of us, he weighed nothing. It was like lifting a mannequin. Maria squeezed my hand, and then proceeded to switch out the I.V. bag with a fresh one.
“Mr. Chayton is due in the morning.” Maria’s tone was soft, her gaze downcast as she replaced the portable vitals reader with the larger model. “In the meantime, we should get a little more than saline water into his system.”
A feeding tube. I nodded numbly.
Something brushed my shoulder, and my attention went to Jesu. He hesitated, then lowered his hand. “Should I tell your mother?”
A jolt of panic shook my core and my gaze flew wide. I had been so mentally exhausted worrying over my father that I had completely forgotten about Mom. What on earth would I tell her? How would I explain?
“Why don’t you go be with her?” Maria offered. “You’ve done all you can for your father. You should rest.”
I was tired. But seeing Mom... There wouldn’t be any comfort. And I couldn’t leave Dad’s side. This was my fault. I deserved the guilt. Yet I didn’t resist as Jesu’s hand wrapped around mine. He coaxed me toward the door, and my feet followed as though on autopilot. I kept my gaze on Dad, not turning away until the door shut behind us. Then a knot welled in my throat and my chest burst. A sob punched from my lungs as I collapsed to the floor. I wanted to cry. I needed the release. But the tears snagged just behind my eyes, hot and mocking. Frustrated, I grabbed Jesu’s shirt as he lowered beside me and pressed my face into his sternum; muffling my screams as I tore into the fabric with my fists.
I screamed until I ran out of breath and my knuckles ached. I let go and sagged against Jesu’s warm, strong chest. He held me and he stroked my hair. He had pulled me into his lap at some point, or maybe I had just landed there? Either way, it was nice. Comforting. If vampyres could sleep, I’d close my eyes and dream in his arms. But that was about as useful as trying to cry.
Jesu moved one hand to my jaw. He tilted my chin back and looked into my eyes, his own half-closed crescents as mesmerizing as the Northern lights. His lips brushed mine, feather soft. Then again, more passionately.
My heart broke as he kissed me. What happened to respecting each other’s space and seeing other people? I pushed away and stood.
“I should go see Mom.”
He didn’t protest, but I could feel his gaze on my back. I walked away with the realization that I loved Jesu more than words could express, but nothing had changed. He was still cursed. He would still leave. My babies were still in danger. I was still going to be an Elite.
Wasn’t I?
Yes. I had to. I’d do anything possible to find a cure for my son. I couldn’t pass up the knowledge and skill I’d learn from the Elite. I didn’t think Shénshèng’s twenty-one-year supply of magical seeds was a coincidence. She saw my son’s future. She knew what I’d choose. It wasn’t fair to use Jesu as my safety net. Someday he wasn’t going to be there to catch me. I had to learn to catch myself.
Glancing around the ballroom on the way to the foyer, I realized I’d forgotten how crowded the castle was. Most of the guests had left after the coronation, but there were still soldiers, maids, and the occasional extended family member who loitered about. Their gazes followed me. I hugged myself and kept my head down while entering the main hall.
“Ema.” I stopped at the sound of Brinnon’s voice. He jogged over to me, looking very dapper in black slacks and a royal blue cardigan, his dark hair neatly combed. “How’s your father?”
I bit the inside of my lip and shrugged. “Comatose.”
“If there’s anything I can do?”
I started to shake my head, but stopped myself. “Actually, there is.”
Brinnon lifted his brow in askance.
“Make sure the Council follows through with their end of the deal.”
“You’ve made a decision then?” Brinnon tilted his gaze. I wasn’t sure if he was challenging me, or just making sure I was certain. I also didn’t know how much Tancred had told him.
“Yes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m on my way to deliver some unsettling news to my mother.”
Brinnon sighed. “I am sorry about that, Ema. Your dad...”
“It’s been a long few days, Brinnon. I don’t really want to hear it.”
Brinnon pulled his lower lip between his teeth and then nodded.
The never-ending steps to the guest wing gave me time to figure out what to say to my mother. I had an entire speech prepared by the time I reached the door. But, as I entered the room and met my mother’s gaze, every word flew out the proverbial window. I felt ten years old again as Mama and I rushed to throw our arms around each other. Her tears dampened my cheek as she rocked me side to side.
“Lányom,” she whispered. “My little girl.”
A hand gripped my shoulder, and I found Anthony standing behind me. His smile teetered.
“We, uh, heard about your dad.”
My brow dipped. “Who told you?”
“Maria,” he said.
I looked at Mom. Her eyes were wet with tears, but she grinned. “Someone had to teach that woman how to cook. Soup from a can? I hate to think of her poor husband’s health.”
I resisted the urge to snort. “So you ladies bonded?”
Mom shrugged and then scowled. “Eh, she’s not so bad. Turns out she had a stubborn daughter too.”
That was news to me. “Really?”
“Plus, she’s a nurse,” Anthony added. “So she hooked up your mom with some pain meds for the arthritis.”
I blinked at Mom. “What? Arthritis?”
“Oh, I’m just so glad you’re okay.” Mom hugged me again. I wondered what explanation Maria gave them to cover up the real reason for Dad’s condition, and how the heck did pain meds factor in? I made a mental note to get the details. Mom held me at arm’s length and gave me a stern look. “I want to see your father.”
Of course she did. “He’s in the infirmary. I’ll take you; just let me grab a shower first.”
Mom arched her brow. “I assume you are still taking good care of my grandchildren?”
Despite standing on a perfectly level marble floor, Anthony lost his balance, wobbled, caught himself, and then turned bright red. “Well, uh... I’ll just... go back to my...” He pointed to the door. “Right.”
I rolled my eyes on my way to the dressing nook. My suitcase was still downstairs in the foyer, but I had plenty of extra clothes in the wardrobe. I opened the top drawer, where I kept my underwear, and an ancient scroll rolled to the front, clanking gently against the side where it came to a stop. I gasped.
The scroll belonged to the Neo-Draugrian Council library. It contained details about my father’s clan, the Jumlin. Naamah gave it to me months ago, but I never read it. I was too angry to face my father.
I was an idiot.
Now, though... I grabbed the scroll and tucked it into my pocket.
VALAFAR
I grabbed hold of the rutty cot and hurled it across the room. The impact knocked a tattered shelf off its last screw and caused a mushroom cloud of dust and loose cobwebs to rain over me. I brushed the filth from my arms with a growl. The blasted cottage was empty.
Scratch that.
The blasted cottage was occupied—by a she-wolf.
I could smell her before I could see her. The scent lingered in the back of my mind while I searched every room, closet, and cupboard for my sister. Now, turning desperate, I sought the musky sent of dog and followed the trail to the mudroom in the back, where Mother had kept her beloved herbs.
“Come out, little one,” I said when I didn't immediately find the hound in the room. “You're safe. Your mistress is gone.” I scanned the shadows. Meanwhile, the words I had just spoke niggled at my mind.
She's gone.
I still couldn't believe it. Years of running and hiding, centuries of thinking I'd finally outsmarted her, only to have her sink her claws into my flank and drag me back time and again. The memories reared their ugly heads, warning me not to believe, reminding me of the danger of such hope. Ema said Lilith had been decapitated, but I didn’t see the body with my own eyes. We healed fast. Add alchemy to the equation, and not only was Lilith near impossible to kill, but she was just as likely able to come back from death. She’d done some version of it already, visiting the Underworld frequently in preparation for the spell that would raise her brother's essence. I was sure she had memorized all the roads back by now.
But the wolf didn’t know that.
“She won’t be back ever again,” I coaxed. “She’s dead.”
A shadow slinked from my periphery. I didn't want to startle the timid thing, so I waited for her to come to me. The tawny brown wolf slowly stalked into my line of sight. She lifted her head, ears turned forward in curiosity.
“I need your help. Lilith took my sister, Dora. Do you know where?”
Her ears flattened and she shook her head.
My lip curled at the disappointment. “Did you see anyone else come by here?”
A shake.
“Do you know anything at all?” I growled.
The wolf crouched low, her tail tucked between her legs. Her posture told me she'd run and hide if I raised my voice again. I grunted in frustration and then closed my eyes. “Please. Help me.”
When I opened my eyes, she was still crouching low to the ground, ready to sprint. She shook her head, her gaze wide.
“Bloody hell.” I shoved the nearest row of pots from the table ledge, raking my fingers through my hair as they crashed to the ground.
Now what?
I really had no plan after this. No clues. No leads. The only option was to search Mum's hiding spots one by one, but that could take weeks. Maybe even months. She had places tucked away all over the world. By the time I found Dora, she would be a corpse.
I needed a spell. A... something.
But I knew nothing about alchemy. Lilith was particularly secretive with her knowledge. What I needed was help, but from who? Dora had been the only one of my kin I kept in touch with. The others associated me with Lilith. I was the tool she used to fuck things up. I was the brush and paint of too many nightmares. My siblings-slash-children cut us both off first chance they got. I didn't blame them. Hell, I stayed away too, for their own safety. Only, now Mum had finally gotten to Dora, and I didn't know how to save her again.
Something cold and wet touched my hand. I jumped, and then noticed the dog beside me. "What?" I snapped.
She woofed and then went to a spot where the tables had formed a sort of isle through the center of the room. There, she pawed at the ground to indicate the writing in the dirt floor. I narrowed my gaze. Her claws had made a mess of the ancient script, so it took me several minutes to work out what she had written, and then translate the letters.
Eh-meh-ah.
Ema.
I eyed the dog. “Is this a joke?”
She huffed, and then pawed at the letters again.
I scoffed. “No can do, love. I burned that bridge.”
However, there was someone in the Alpan castle who might help me. He certainly had the resources to help. The question was would he?
Nah. I'd burned that bridge too. But what other choice did I have? Dora could be on her last breath. I had to try.
“Come on.” I crouched on my heels and held out a hand, palm up. “I have an idea.”
Hesitant, she stalked toward me one step at a time. She stopped about a foot from my hand and looked at me, ears flat, tail between her legs.
“You’ll like this,” I said. “Promise.”
She stretched forward and touched the tip of her black nose to the pads of my fingers. I phased us both.
We flew over the forests surrounding the cobble stone grounds of the majestic castle. The thick walls sent an odd sensation through me as I phased past them, into Brinnon’s chambers. His bedroom was empty, so I solidified and released the wolf. She toppled slightly then found her footing.
“Do not leave this room,” I warned as I went to the closed bedroom door and pressed a hand firmly against the wood. My senses pushed past the barrier, examining the sounds and scents of the castle. I almost missed it—the scent of his essence. I expected the same sweet and nutty fragrance of the cocoa-flavored body spray I’d given him, but he no longer wore it. In fact, as I took a step away from the door, I realized nothing in the room smelled like us. I sniffed, and my nose wrinkled at the pungent scent of Adder’s Tongue. My gaze went to the tin on the nightstand, and I scowled. The ashes had long since cooled, but the implication burned through me nonetheless.
I’m an idiot.
The dog crawled under the bed and hid as Brinnon neared his chamber. He had been walking with another, quietly talking, when he stopped short. His pulse faltered. A few sharp words sent the other person away. Then, after a moment longer, the knob turned and the door opened to reveal the man I loved.
Brinnon stepped inside and the door clicked shut behind him. “Who are you? And why is there a wolf under my bed?”
My brow wrinkled at the question. Who am I? I lifted my gaze—and caught my reflection in the full-length mirror. My stomach dropped. Without Lilith, I could no longer glamour. Brinnon had never seen the real me. Even I barely recognized myself in this wretched state; hunched and frail, skin like leather; a little old man with more hair in his nose than on his head.
I drew a breath and then faced him. The suspicion in his gaze broke my heart. I didn’t know what I expected, but...
“This is who I am,” I said. “Without her.”
Brinnon narrowed his eyes. His hand twitched at his side, as though he wanted to reach out and touch me, but he held back. He stared at my face, questioning it. I looked away.
“Val?”
“Yeah, love. It’s me.”
He took a step closer then paused. “What...?”
I grinned, but it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “It’s fine. I only came because I have no one else. Lilith kidnapped my sister just before we... Before she lost her head. Now Dora’s lost. She’s a good girl. She doesn’t deserve to die.”
“You were there?” Brinnon scanned me, but the disbelief on his face suggested the shock was still about my appearance. Not Dora.
“Of course I was there. Lilith had me on a leash.”
“But she doesn’t anymore.” I could practically see the proverbial wheels turning in his head, processing what it all meant, but some vital piece seemed to be missing. “She’s dead now.” He met my gaze, and his expression softened. “I am so sorry. The Council—”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?”
He pulled his lowered lip between his teeth. “She was your mother.”
He said the words like they should mean something. I scoffed. “I never loved her. There won’t be a grand funeral with a hundred guests and a heartfelt eulogy. In fact, there won’t be a funeral at all.”
His brow pinched. “That seems kind of sad.”
I chuckled at how different our lives were. This was a mistake. I could see it in his eyes. The more we talked, the more he saw past the wrinkles and liver spots. That lovelorn puppy dog look glimmered in his irises, growing brighter by the second.
Speaking of puppies...
“The dog’s a gift,” I said, pointing to the twitchy shadow under the mattress.
“What?” Brinnon turned to glance at the bed. I was gone by the time he looked back.
I phased through the walls, outside, and over the forests. I’d find Dora on my own. I’d go back to China and beg Shénshèng for help if I had to. But I would not bother Brinnon again. He couldn’t be in love with me. He couldn’t think we had a chance. It just wasn’t possible. He deserved better.
CHAPTER 27
I sat beside my
father. The infirmary wasn’t large, but the silence—punctuated only by the consistent beep of the heart monitor—seemed to push the walls outward, growing bigger and more lonesome by the minute. Mom had gone to bed sometime around midnight, bravely offering to walk herself back to the guest wing while I stayed. I held Dad’s hand and admired the stark contrast in skin tone. He was all copper and callused from what I imagined were years spent training outdoors. My hands were pale and soft from years of never handling anything heavier than a text book. There were similarities though. We both had longish palms and slender fingers. My father, the succubus Hunter. I might’ve laughed if my heart didn’t feel so heavy.
The infirmary door opened. Brinnon’s brother, Roman, came to my side. “You’re needed.”
“Me?”
He nodded.
“But—”
“Go,” said Jesu. I turned to find him standing just outside the doorframe, arms crossed. “I can wait with him.” He nodded to indicate Dad.
I narrowed my gaze at Roman, and then stood. “All right, but aren’t you going to tell me what this is about?”
“On the way.” Roman exited the room, and then Jesu entered. I glanced away from him as we passed each other. In the hall, Roman hastened his steps. “Come on.”
I expected him to take me to the King’s office. Instead, he turned the corner and cut across the ballroom to the foyer. From there, we climbed the stairs to the second landing.
“Where are we going?”
“Conference room.” He opened a door I had never used before, leading me into a part of the castle I had never gone. The corridor was expansive, with red velvet carpeting and lacquered wood panels along the walls, a change from the usual gray stone.
Roman grabbed my upper arm, slowing our steps as we walked side by side. “Here’s what you need to know; don’t speak unless answering a direct question. Keep your answers short. And stick to your story.”
“My story?” I upped my brow.