by Julie Stock
I watched as he crushed a grape between his fingers and tasted the juice, his frown confirming his comments. I’d worked with Thierry long enough to trust his judgment but I still felt anxious about the harvest every year. I knew only too well how much the future of the vineyard, and all the people working in it, depended on a successful harvest; this year was no exception.
I spent the rest of the morning in the office sorting out bills for payment but just before lunch, the phone rang. Henri answered it and immediately pulled a face. I tried to make out the name he was mouthing to me and when I did, my heart sank.
‘Isabelle.’ I had nothing else to say to her now, no pleasantries, no bitter exchanges. She had worn me down.
‘I am calling to check that you are still able to look after Chlöe this weekend. I have an important photo shoot to attend in Paris.’
‘Yes. You do not need to check this with me. When will you bring her over?’ My jaw had tensed from the moment I answered the phone and I had to consciously force myself to keep calm.
‘I’ll bring her to you on Saturday morning. I can’t travel to you on Friday evening because we will be returning very late to Strasbourg and I will be far too tired to bring her then.’
Of course you will. Never mind whether Chlöe is tired or not.
‘Fine. I will see you there on Saturday morning at eleven. Is there anything else?’ I’d tried hard not to sound bitter but I still hadn’t got over the impact of our separation. As I replaced my phone on the desk, I thought about our beautiful daughter and how much I missed her. She was the only good thing about my partnership with Isabelle; I couldn’t wait to see her again and spend time with her over the weekend.
CHAPTER TWO
Fran
The next day got off to a good start. I opened my laptop to find an email waiting for me from the vineyard and held my breath as I clicked to open it. Then I jumped up to let out a great big whoop of delight when I realised that they were offering me an interview. I sent off a text to Ellie to let her know and then I realised that I would have to meet up with Paul in order to pick up my stuff. My heart sank as I thought about how awkward that was going to be. I knew he’d have lots of questions about what I was doing - questions I didn’t want to answer. I thought about clearing out my things while he was at work but that seemed underhand. In the end, I decided to meet and talk to him first, and collect my stuff later.
‘I’m ready to meet with you this evening if you’re free. I can come round at six.’
He replied almost instantly.
‘Thank God. It’s so good to hear from you. I’ll see you then x’
Needless to say, his kiss was lost on me. I slumped down into a chair, knowing that this was it. I felt really sad suddenly and on the brink of tears. I had given nearly four years of my life to this relationship and now I was going to have nothing to show for it. I had loved him and thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together, but now all of that commitment had been threatened and I was facing life on my own again.
At six that evening, I arrived promptly at the flat we’d been renting in Highgate. I decided to ring the entry buzzer rather than use my own key, and as I waited for Paul to answer, all the strangeness of the situation hit me. This used to be my refuge and now I hated it. Paul buzzed me in and I made my way slowly up to the first floor. He was on the doorstep by the time I got there, hopping restlessly from one foot to the other. I took in his swarthy face and his close-cropped hair and wondered what I’d ever seen in him.
‘Hi,’ he gushed, as though I were a long-lost friend. He stood back awkwardly to let me in. I brushed past him in the narrow doorway, unable to avoid his little paunch that had been steadily increasing in size over the past year. He knew better at least than to reach out and touch me. I made my way down the hallway, past the two bedrooms and the bathroom and into the large, bright lounge that I used to love so much. I sat in the only armchair so he couldn’t sit next to me.
‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ He held up a bottle of Merlot, gesturing at the two wine glasses on the table.
‘No, thanks. This really isn’t a social call.’
‘Please don’t be like that. I told you in my texts, it was a stupid mistake. It was just sex after too much to drink. I don’t feel anything for her, not like I love you.’ His face was pained but his light tone gave him away.
I snorted in disbelief. I didn’t even know I had a snort in me but some occasions demand it and lo and behold, a snort appeared.
‘How can you say you love me when you betrayed me by having sex with another woman? It doesn’t make me feel any better about this whole damn mess that you feel it was a stupid, drunken mistake. You still did it and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.’ I stood up and started pacing.
‘You can’t really mean that. What about the wedding and all our plans?’ His mouth dropped open and for a moment, he was speechless.
‘Oh, so did you conveniently forget our wedding plans when you were in bed with someone else?’ I shook my head in an effort to calm down. His ridiculous comments were only fuelling my anger.
‘Look, I know I’ve been a fool but I really don’t want to jeopardise what we have together. I do still love you.’ Despite his declaration, there was a calculating look in his expression that only served to convince me that he was lying.
‘Relationships are built on trust, Paul. How could I ever trust you again after this, or expect you to respect me if I just take you back without a word? No, this has been a wake-up call for me.’ I sank back down into the nearest chair, suddenly weary of all the arguing. I took a deep breath before continuing. ‘To be honest, Paul, we’ve been growing apart for some time.’ I held up my hand to stop him interrupting and watched as he collapsed on to the sofa, a wary look on his face. ‘I’ve been trying to leave the bank for ages, to move on and get a better job but you always talk me out of it. In fact, you’ve never been happy with me having a life of my own, visiting friends or even going home to see my parents.’ I sat up straighter as I warmed to my theme. ‘I’ll come round tomorrow to collect my things. I’m going home to France to attend my friend’s wedding. Then I’ll look for a new job. This so-called relationship is over.’ I stood in front of him and folded my arms.
‘What? You’re moving out and going back to France, just like that?’
‘Just like what? You surely didn’t expect me to stay after you cheated on me?’ I stared at him, daring him to argue but to my surprise, he did.
‘I didn’t expect you to over-react like this, no. But you’ve made yourself very clear. If you feel like that, maybe I’m better off without you.’ He had such a smug look on his face as he said it that it was all I could do not to slap him.
‘Well, thanks for all that, Paul.’ I prepared to go and he came towards me then, arms outstretched, obviously regretting his little outburst. I put my hands up, warning him off.
‘Don’t you dare touch me.’
‘Fran, please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m just angry.’
‘So am I, Paul, but I’m angry at myself for letting you control me for so long.’
With that, I turned abruptly towards the hall and marched off to the door. He followed me but he didn’t say another word. I looked back as I reached the top of the staircase to the ground floor, taking in the flicker of anger on his face, and I hoped he had finally got the message.
Didier
That afternoon, the agency contacted us again to suggest that we schedule the interview for our marketing manager for Thursday because the candidate had quite a way to travel.
‘This must be your lady then. I think you’re right,’ Henri said as soon as he’d put the phone down.
‘I feel hopeful but I don’t want to get ahead of myself, just in case it isn’t her.’
Henri nodded before continuing. ‘The agency will have told her the name of the estate, though, so if it is her, she’ll know she’s going to see you again.’
&n
bsp; ‘No, I never told her the name of the estate and, because it’s not named after our family name, she won’t be able to work it out. It will probably be quite a surprise for her when she sees me again.’
I was looking forward to seeing Fran again, despite the way we had parted.
Henri and I worked steadily through the afternoon before calling it a day around five. I went back to the cottage with Princesse at my heels and once she was settled, I made my way upstairs to get ready for dinner with my mother.
‘Salut, Maman.’ I kissed her on both cheeks in greeting after coming in through the back garden of her cottage.
‘Ça va, chéri?’ She looked up from the pile of papers she was studying with a smile.
‘Not bad, thanks. How about you? What’s all that you’re looking at?’ I frowned to think of her working so late, even though I knew she liked to keep herself busy.
‘Oh, just administrative stuff from the government about the new regional specifications for independent winegrowers.’ She sighed, took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. ‘Let’s not talk business for the moment. What would you like to drink? I thought we might go out for dinner tonight for a change.’
‘Can I have a beer please, Maman?’
She put the opened bottle and a glass on the table in front of me and I picked the bottle up before relaxing back into my chair.
‘Some habits die hard,’ I told her with a grin, noticing how she had pursed her lips as I took the first pull straight from the bottle.
‘So, how has your week been?’
She asked me this every week, but I had to think carefully about how to phrase my answer this time.
‘Well, you know the marketing manager job we’ve advertised?’ She nodded. ‘We hadn’t had any suitable applications before this week but now we’ve had one from a familiar name.’ I paused to let her think about it.
‘Well, go on, I can’t stand the suspense!’
‘Fran has applied for the job.’ She looked blank. ‘Françoise - the girl I met at university.’
I watched her face fall in disappointment.
‘Hmm. Well, I’m not sure you want her working at the vineyard, after she abandoned you in your hour of need.’
‘Don’t be like that. You know I didn’t tell her about Papa. It wouldn’t have been fair.’
‘Fair to who, Didier? If she had really loved you, she would have stayed with you.’
‘Well, she might feel the same about me - that I abandoned her because I didn’t go with her to London. I decided to stay because of Papa but she didn’t know that and it wouldn’t have been fair to push her to stay with me.’ I shrugged. ‘Time has moved on and things have changed for both of us. We need a marketing manager and Fran has the qualifications for the job.’
My mother stared at me with obvious concern in her hazel eyes. ‘You know nothing of her big city life over the past few years and she knows nothing of yours here in Alsace. You have a child now and the responsibilities that go with that. You need to think very carefully before leaping into anything new.’
‘I know that, Maman. This is work and I’m not planning on leaping into anything.’ I threw my hands up and gave her a smile, making her laugh.
‘Come on, it is time for some dinner and you can bring me up-to-date with everything that is happening with my little grand-daughter.’
Fran
I kissed Ellie goodbye the next day before she went off to work, promising to be in touch regularly, and then set off once more for the home I’d shared with Paul. It was a bright, sunny day, giving me the courage to get going with my plans for a fresh start. I used my key to enter the main building but when I walked upstairs to our front door, there was an older man there, changing the locks. The old suitcase I’d kept in the bedroom was standing outside the flat Paul and I had shared. What a miserable bastard Paul had turned out to be!
‘Erm, excuse me, can I come in? He’s not here, is he?’ I asked the workman, hoping he’d take pity on me.
‘No, he’s not, but he told me not to let you in,’ the man told me grimly. He glanced up at me with sympathy in his eyes, though, and I managed a weak smile. ‘Look,’ he continued, ‘if you make it quick, you should be able to do what you need to before I’m finished here.’
I nodded at him gratefully and slipped past, taking my suitcase with me. I did a quick sweep of the living room, kitchen and bathroom, checking Paul hadn’t kept anything of real value to me before opening the suitcase to see what was in it. It was filled with clothes and toiletries, nothing more. I paused for a moment, trying to remember anything else I wanted to take with me. Suddenly, I remembered my grandmother’s music box and I went to the bedroom to look for it. Thankfully, it had escaped Paul’s notice and I picked it up carefully, wrapped it in one of my t-shirts and stored it in my case. Apart from that, there were only a few small pieces of furniture that were mine and I couldn’t do anything but leave those behind - like the life I’d had with Paul. I thanked the workman as I left the flat and walked away from my old life.
By half past ten, I was on my way again, but this time to London St. Pancras to catch my Eurostar train to Paris. I sat on the Tube with my suitcase containing all my worldly possessions, thinking of all the good memories I had and trying not to feel regret for what had been lost. I heaved a big sigh but I knew in my heart that I was ready to set off for the brave new world. Only this time, that meant going back to France.
It was early afternoon by the time I got to Paris. As soon as I stepped off the train and into the bustling Gare du Nord, I felt like I’d come home. The heavenly smells from the boulangeries combined with the industrial smell of the trains told me I was in France and I realised it was more than three years since I’d last been here. My connecting train left from the Gare de L’Est, which was within walking distance, and so I set off for a stroll along the Parisian streets I was once so familiar with. I smiled as I came out onto Rue d’Alsace just ten minutes later. I was looking forward to going home.
After a baguette au jambon and a quick café at the station, I made my way to the departures board to see which platform my TGV train to Strasbourg would be leaving from. Once on the train, I found my seat fairly quickly and sank my tired body into the chair for the two-hour journey that was to come. The train left right on time and I leaned my head back and watched the landscape change from city to suburbs to green fields in no time at all. When I next lifted my head, the light had changed a little and I realised that I must have fallen asleep for a while. Looking at my watch, I couldn’t believe that I had actually slept for just over an hour and we were now travelling through the Meuse region towards Alsace-Lorraine. I sat up and stretched and then retrieved my phone from my bag. There was a message from Ellie.
‘Bonjour, chérie! Are you nearly there yet? Take care and let me know how everything goes. Good luck!’
That made me smile because she was virtually allergic to any foreign language. My interview was scheduled for ten the next morning so I’d booked into one of the cheap hotel chains in Strasbourg for my overnight stay. I was planning to spend a pleasant evening reacquainting myself with the city where I had spent my university years, before getting an early night.
After unpacking my essentials, I had a quick shower and went off to find somewhere nice to eat. As I wandered alongside the River Ill, admiring all the colourful canal boats, I regretted not having come back sooner. I crossed over the river and made my way to the small island in the city known as Petite France. There were window boxes hanging from the rails all along the water’s edge, bursting with bright red and pink geraniums. The cobbled streets of the old quarter made for an enjoyable wander and I soon found a bistro that looked inviting for dinner. As I sat outside, feeling the warmth of the evening sun on my skin, all the tension in my shoulders slowly eased. I glanced down at my ringless wedding finger and I knew that I had made the right decision to return home. I was optimistic about the job interview the next day and confident that it was going to
be the first step towards my new life.
In the taxi the next morning, I began to feel a bit nervous about how the interview would go. I knew I had all the skills they required but it had been a while since I’d applied for a new job. They’d probably conduct the interview in French too and I worried that my spoken French might be a bit rusty at first. I twisted my fingers together, considering all the things that could go wrong. By the time the taxi arrived just ten minutes after leaving the city, my confidence of the previous evening had evaporated.
I paid the driver and climbed out of the car, anxiously patting my hair to check it was still neatly tied back and smoothing down my navy linen dress and jacket to help straighten out the creases caused by the short journey. I was standing in an old courtyard with buildings on all sides. There wasn’t a soul to be seen. I saw an open door on the other side of the courtyard and made my way towards it. My heels clicked on the cobblestones - they were definitely not as easy to walk in as my flats had been in the city last night. I grimaced as I picked my way painstakingly towards the open door. I was almost there when a dog came bounding out of the building at breakneck speed, barking a joyous welcome at me before spinning round and round me in excitement. I smiled at the dog’s enthusiasm and tried to reach out and pet it, only to find the dog jumping up at me. I turned away, not wanting to get my outfit dirty, and wobbled, sure I was going to lose my balance and fall. Suddenly, I felt a strong pair of arms go round my waist, halting my tumble and saving me from embarrassment. I glanced down to see the muscled, tanned arms that were holding me, just before they set me upright again. I gathered myself together and turned round to face the man who had saved me from disaster. My mouth dropped open in surprise.
‘Didier? C’est toi?’ I felt my cheeks redden as I recognised the man in front of me.