I couldn’t follow that, why would he have an apartment if he never stayed here before? “He never slept in his apartment?”
The sweet lady patted my hand and smiled. “I didn’t even know he had an apartment here before. He always stayed in the Waldorf Astoria.” Speechless, I was so stunned that I just smiled and went back to my laptop. This perfect man couldn’t spend a night in the city until he met me? Talk about a buzz for my fragile ego. All those times that I rejected him came back to my stupid, stubborn head! I wanted to cry and travel in time, both things equally impossible to me.
“Katherine I need to vacuum this room, would you go to Mr. Berkeley’s office meanwhile?” I started to put my stuff away, but she stopped me. “It will take me a minute, you don’t have to hide your things.” She winked at me knowing that there was no way Dylan could be aware of my working hours.
I took advantage of the time I had, I needed to talk to my Copy Editor about a terrible ad they had sent me. Soon I was completely lost in my discussion. “Michael, you know better than thinking those words are appealing! The only person that will blush about that is your mom! We need the big guns, this is an amazing sexy brand and you are wasting our opportunity.”
I didn’t even feel when the phone was taken away from my hand, so when I turned to meet a pair of blue daggers I was shocked. “What the fuck is this Katherine?”
His voice was dangerously angry and hot. Without thinking about it I tried to take the phone from him. He walked away from me and raised his hand to make me fight for the phone. “Dylan, I need to finish that, I’ll explain it to you later.” I started to walk towards him, but he walked away. He was making me run after him all around the office. There’s a reason why my mom always forbade me to run in public, I’m too clumsy. But I needed to finish my call, so I went to him, cornered him against the desk and pushed him back trying to remove the phone. Of course, I ‘accidentally’ pushed my body as close to him as I could. My poor, or nonexistent, physical resistance was appearing, I was breathless and doing the softest attempts to drag air into my lungs.
Before I knew it, I had my back against the desk, my legs pushed wide open and my arms over my head. Dylan dropped my phone to the floor, but let’s face it, long ago this had stopped being about the phone, and looked at me. The perfect lips came to my face, breathing over me, and then they got close to my ear. “It is taking all my self-control not to take you right now, but you are still too weak and hurt to do that. I know that if I touch you, I won’t be able to stop myself. So the next time you do this, I don’t give a damn if I have to take you back to the hospital, because the way I want you will take you back there, Katherine. So don’t you dare tempt me again, ok silly girl?”
The hospital wasn’t that bad after all… He wanted me, he was just afraid of hurting me. Thank you Baby Jesus! Of course that was the obvious reason, but my insecure brain had thought a thousand other things. This gave me the strength I needed. I removed myself from under his body and decided to do something that I had been dreading.
“Dylan, we need to talk.” Terrible words that only us, women, find necessary.
“What do you want to talk about Katherine?” He was having fun with my involuntary reactions, my face was red with embarrassment and my breathing was funny after our little encounter. Giving space to our bodies, he sat on his dad’s leather chair and stared at me.
To lose some nervousness I walked around the office moving my hands more eagerly than needed. “About us! About this! About how you keep acting as if we’re the same, as if something had changed from our last encounter.” My head betrayed me and my voice sounded more affected than what I intended. “Nothing has changed!”
“Everything has changed!” He was shouting just to pair my voice. The world stopped for a moment with his loud voice. “I almost lost you in that fucking hospital, so no. I am sorry if I don’t give a damn about your stupid problems with me, Katherine!”
He was affected, I was affected; this was a tricky subject for us. I needed to get the control back. “Dylan, I am sorry that you witnessed that. God knows I would have never wanted you to go back to that hospital.” He didn’t know that Mrs. Danvers had told me about the day his parents died, but my mouth was taking its own path. “But I still want the same things I wanted that day, and you don’t. Nothing has changed. A change of heart like this is impossible.”
“Katherine, I was scared ok?” His voice was loud again. “I always received everything in exchange of nothing. And then you came and asked for everything from me. I didn’t even know if I had anything to give.”
“And now you know?” My voice was barely a whisper, as if my words could stop him from talking.
“No, but now I know I would rather die than live a day without you.” I lost my breath with those words. But he continued as in a trance. “After my parents died I never cared for anyone. Spencer, Mark, everyone in my life has a professional relationship with me, a real link. You, you are different. I care for you, and you can run whenever you want. God knows you’ve done that enough. A relationship had never been in my plans, and then you came and change everything.”
I answered with all the pain in my heart. “Things are just the same now Dylan. I want things you can’t give me!” My heart was slow, stupid and new, so it couldn’t be trusted to make decisions on its own.
I was still walking around the room and I knew too well that I was probably going to be sent home anytime soon. Against all my predictions, he took my hand and dragged me between him and the desk, forcing me to face him. “Katherine I can’t live without you, so I don’t care how I am going to have you, I will. And if that means that at some point I will have to buy you a little house with a white picket fence, I will happily do it.”
He wanted me, he wanted me to be his. Fuck…“How can I say I am yours if I’ve always been free?” The no filter quality of my brain was on, I swear I was talking without considering the facts.
“Katherine, I know you are mine. Otherwise I wouldn’t be feeling this need inside me.” His hand softly took mine.
Oh God, oh God, oh God. I got what I wanted, but there was still something bothering me, so I went for the girly aspect of the situation. “But you let me go, we were done…You gave up on me!” I was shouting again. It was stupid but my fragile self-esteem was having doubts. I know! It was dumb! But what if he was just afraid because of the accident? Pity love is the worst kind of love. Love? You silly girl, this is not love.
“Don’t you ever say that again! I never let you go! I gave you space, and time, because I thought that was what you needed. I thought you were scared too, and that we needed to think. But don’t you dare, for a second, think that I will leave without a fight.” He calmed himself trying not to appear as menacing as he was at that moment.
“Why didn’t you come after me?” And that’s the moment when I became a silly girl to the eyes of the world.
“Because I’ve been running after you since the day I met you. For once I wanted you to come to me.” The little smile on his face was a sad one, almost a disappointed one.
“You knew that was not going to happen.”
“I had hope.” Oh my God! And I just sent you to hell again!
“But I never did that.” My face looked at the floor avoiding his gaze.
“No,” with his finger he made me face him by pushing my chin. “But you needed me, and that is enough for me.” This time his smile was a little more warming. “I have already admitted I was scared about what you told me that day, so I thought we needed time, just that, time. That’s why Joe stayed with you all the time. I was letting you calm down. I thought you needed to think about us.”
If I could control my lachrymals, I probably would have forced them to cry then. But since I can’t do that, I just lowered my voice. “I thought you had left me.” I tried to put myself together, but my mouth wouldn’t take it. “Dylan this is crazy! You didn’t even take the time to know if you liked me! You just went after me blin
dly!” In my head this was the end, so better go big or go home, right?
“Three weeks.”
“What?”
“I gave myself three weeks to forget about you.” Of course I thought about the three weeks since the ‘Chicago Whore’ debacle. As if he was reading my thoughts he interrupted me. “When I met you, I thought the appeal was just that you had said no. Then I told myself it was the fact that you are so different from my usual choice. So after our weekend in San Antonio, I gave myself time, the first week I slept with women that were supposed to look like you, when it didn’t work I went for the opposite, my usual type of woman, Barbie blondes with no more expectations than have me drooling. The last week I just slept with the most beautiful women I could get. When I couldn’t get you out of my head I took a plane and went to the Advertising Gala. You were mine since that day, my head knew it and I just needed to make you believe it.”
Say what?! He came to New York for me… Erase the sleep around part, and this would be a perfect speech. “So you never left me…”
He came closer to me and took my face between his hands. “I am not a quitter Bianchi.”
I bit my lip, I truly thought he was going to kiss me, but he didn’t. I was about to combust, so to distract my brain I went for other answers that I needed. “What happened that day? When did you get to me?”
Without talking he took my hand and directed me to a leather green couch that was in the corner of the office. We sat down and he put his arms around me, after taking a couple of deep breaths he started. “I was working when I received the call from Joe, he had lost you on the road and he was worried. He told me you were driving like a crazy woman and that he couldn’t find you.” His eyes were blaming me, I had been the irresponsible one. “I had already arrived at the airport when he called me to tell me he had found your car and that it was destroyed.” His silence was only interrupted by the terrible heart beat I was feeling on my back, as if he was reliving the whole day.
“It took them two hours to get you out of the car. When I arrived to the hospital they were getting you into the ER. That’s when I saw that…I thought…you…and I just couldn’t…” My big, threatening man was unable to say the words. I took both of his hands in mine, trying to calm him, I didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
“Shhh, I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” We remained silent for a long time. This was the closest we had been physically since the day I left him, and I was enjoying myself. Of course my stupid mouth needed to interrupt that. “So what do we do now?”
He kissed the top of my head. We need to talk about this annoying kiss! “Whatever you want.” He paused and punctuated. “As long as you realize that you are mine.” His, after being myself all my life, that was exactly what I wanted to be: His.
I laid my head over his chest, and taking all the humility I could I voiced my fears again. “I don’t know how to be yours.”
“I know how, that’s what matters.” Maybe my brain had been damaged in the accident because I trusted him, he knew. I just closed my eyes and breathed his wooden scent until I fell asleep.
The next week passed in a second, without all those doubts in my head I was able to relax and enjoy this weird situation. Time flies when you are playing to ‘little house’ with that piece of a man, and my doctor’s appointment finally came. This one was different, if I was fine I was going to be released. No more weekly appointments, just a once a month check-up and getting back to my normal life.
After fighting for hours, Blue Eyes had agreed to let me go back home if the doctor said I was ok. Being in his parents’ apartment was killing Dylan, and this dynamic was no good for our brand new relationship.
“Katherine, you can get dressed now.” Dr. Matthews had seen my scans and was talking with Dylan while I was getting dressed. I could barely hear them, but some parts caught my attention. “Dylan she’s good to go, you don’t have to worry about that.”… “Just be careful, she’ll be fine.” Apparently my Blue Eyes was interrogating the poor doctor. When I finally finished, they both came back to the room.
“Ms. Bianchi, I am glad to inform you, that everything seems ok. The bones are healing, the organs are back to normal and your head seems to be perfect. It was a big accident, but you are getting better. From now on I’ll see you once a month. Do you have any question?”
“Can I go back home? Or do I need to be supervised?” Dylan would kill me, but this was a way of gaining an argument to defend my case.
“You can go home Katherine, you can go back to your life.” I smiled to Dylan who just shook his head knowing how much I needed to hear that.
We both thanked the doctor and left the hospital holding hands like the pair of dorks we were becoming. “You know that question was not necessary.” Blue Eyes didn’t even try to look me in the eye, he knew the answer.
“I know, but I did it in case you were having second thoughts. I am going back home tomorrow morning.”
He turned to face me, a little hurt. “You seem too eager to leave me.”
I smiled at this handsome man. “Mom and Dad will come back on Wednesday night, I want to be settled by then. And living in my place is hardly leaving you, stalker.” I kissed his cheek, the most intimate interaction he was allowing those days.
Even when he seemed fine, he remained silent during the ride back to the apartment. I assumed it had to do with the fact that we would be living apart, so I almost didn’t notice the hand that was making soft circles over my knee. He made me run to the elevator and without prior notice pushed me against the wall. He just stood close to me, and put his arms around my face caging me. “Hey.” His voice was deep and so damn appealing.
“Hey there.” My voice was making evident the terrible effect those eyes had on me. He caressed my face with his finger, as if he was drawing over me.
Putting his forehead against mine, he whispered. “Do you have any idea of how much I want you?”
I couldn’t answer, the big mouth without filter was empty. My brain could only get to bite my lower lip. Of course my mouth didn’t remain empty for that long, his lips crashed against mine and one of his hands went straight to my waist.
I put my arms around his neck and let him walk me out of the elevator and into the house, which was suspiciously quiet. Soon his hands were on my behind, pushing me against him, and kissing the life out of me. Even in the pool of hormones, my brain cells got one thought. “I won’t have sex in your parents’ room.” Yeah, I am a prude, but come on! It was disrespectful! He smiled against my lips and walked to somewhere else. Apparently he had other place in mind even before I had expressed my concerns.
When he pushed me against the bed I noticed where I was: Dylan’s teenage room. A rugby jersey framed on the wall, some pictures of him with Marc and Spencer, and that darkness that comes from boys places, surrounded me.
“Did you use to bring girls here Berkeley?”
He was kissing my neck and didn’t stop to answer me. “Mom would have killed me, you are the first doll.”
Score! Yeah, I was stupid to celebrate that, but I needed a first in his life. So as the polite girl I am, I thanked his words by rubbing my knee against his crotch. Even when I met him iron hard, he was taking things slowly, driving me just a little more nuts.
The first hand to leave my waist went softly against my broken ribs and then to my boobs. He had missed them, I knew. His mouth was reaching his own hand, licking my breast as if tasting it over the shirt. He put his other hand under the fabric and slowly removed the piece of clothe over my head. When he took a look of my body, he went back to kiss me with more force.
My hand took this chance to get to those amazing abs, I hadn’t seen them in months! I almost ripped the buttons of his shirt to get a glimpse of that tight skin. While he was kissing me my hands were tracing that abdomen and getting to the Perfect V. Note to self: add his abs to Google Maps.
His hands weren’t lost, one grabbing my boob and the other opening my pants
in a tempting low speed. Before removing them, his fingers went between the fabric of my pants and my knickers; just its presence drove me crazy. The pressure of the tight denim pushed him towards me and my hips were soon rocking.
Letting my thoughts aside I bit his neck when he increased the rhythm of his fingers. For God’s sake, he wasn’t even touching my skin, but I was so close. Suddenly he stopped. “Not until I am inside you, doll.” He whispered to my skin and came back to my mouth. God I hate him!!!
He pulled my pants down, and the self-conscious me started again. This time I was worried about the bruises, I had lost a couple of pounds after the accident, but my skin still had some purple marks. To avoid my thoughts and get back into what I had been wanting for weeks, I took his pants down. There’s not a better distraction than an almost naked Blue Eyes. My hand softly caressed him over the tight, black boxer briefs. The low, breathless noise he let out made my knees weak.
“I wanted to take my time, but I can’t wait anymore, doll. I need to see you.” He was breathless in a perfect fuck-able way. “I need you now.” His strong hand undid my bra and almost ripped it off my body, while the other hand went to my knickers and pushed them down my legs.
His fingers went back to my crotch, touching me while he watched my face for reactions. Pulling his head down to my mouth, I kissed him violently. His tongue was literally fucking my mouth when I felt him enter. No condom, no barriers, skin to skin action. I was almost done just with this, the feeling was so perfect I didn’t want to move.
“Say it Katherine.” He left my mouth to give me the chance to talk and went to my neck and breast.
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