by CJ Azevedo
“Macie,” he groans into my mouth without stopping his kiss.
“Hmm?” I offer without stopping mine.
“I still need to talk to you about some things.” His words come out brusquely and he pulls away, resting his chin on the top of my head, his chest heaving, leaving my wet and swollen lips cold against the breeze in their state of loneliness.
“All right,” I reply, trying to sound upbeat. “What else is there?”
He brushes the hair back from my eyes then traces his thumb along the outer line of my lips. “As much as I would like for this to be like a fairytale for you, for us to fall in love and do what we please, that’s just not reality. I will always be faithful to you and do my best at treating you exactly the way you expect to be treated, but I need in return for you to keep in mind that in a sense, this is still sort of like a business transaction.” His eyes assess me carefully.
My spine goes ramrod straight and my eyebrows dart right up to the middle of my forehead, my eyes opening as wide as they can go. “A business transaction? You were so close there, Mitchell.” A small huff of air escapes my mouth as I step away from his tight grip.
“Hold on a second,” Mitch croons in a low tone, reaching back out for me, not letting me step back. “I just mean that I still have a timeline of how things need to happen in my life, Macie, even after I get married. I need to have children and they need to be so many years apart and I need to be done having children by a certain age. My marriage won’t be like everyone else’s. It won’t be an equal playing field. My father will have an opinion or more like a—” Mitch scratches his brow trying to find his words, the ones that sound the least crazy, I presume. “Everything I have now and everything we will have in the future, I owe to him, so what he says, for the most part, goes. And it’s worked, so I’ll keep living by his rules and so will my wife and family. Everyday things will be our choice, but major things will have to be approved, Mace. We won’t get vacations wherever you want, they will always have a purpose. You won’t be able to do whatever you want, you’ll have to keep in mind that people will be watching you and it will reflect on me. I know I’ll be an amazing dad, but I also know that politics will come first, before even you. I know how terrible that sounds.” He runs his hands through his sandy blond hair in frustration, turning his pain stricken face away from me. “I will take a lot, Macie. But I can give a lot too. I will take great care of you, I promise. You’ll never want for anything, ever. You’ll never have to worry about a thing. I will always take care of everything in regards to our family. I’ll never forget about your birthday or our anniversary. You can keep working as long as you’re able to continue going to the functions I need you at and I’ll support you in any way I can.” He finally looks back at me, shoving his hands into his pockets.
I reach up and run my fingers down his tie. He’s offering me the dream I’ve had ever since I was a little girl, the dream of settling down with a man that loves me, who will take care of me, and who will have a beautiful family with me, with a few added imperatives that I could live without, but I guess I could also learn to live with.
“I’ve never needed anyone before, Macie, but I’m pretty sure I’m beginning to need you.”
There’s a heavy silence between us as we both take in what he’s both offering and taking away from me.
“Mitch, that’s pretty heavy. We’ve only been dating for a little over a month.” Although, he does have my heart melting at his words of needing me.
He grabs my hand and kisses my fingers before looking deep into my eyes. “It may seem that way to you, but remember that I’ve been dreaming of this relationship for years,” he admits softly. “For me, this can’t happen soon enough.”
And right there he sealed my fate, my future. The romantic in me is able to gloss over the overbearing father-in-law, the purposeful family vacations, and the outdated way of life that Man-is-more-important-than-Woman. The romantic girl in me gleaned the information of him needing me, promising to remember the dates that are important, to focus on me as much as he can, and aside from politics, I will be his main priority. This is as close to my perfect as I believe I will ever get, and I can’t let it walk away from me.
“I guess I can understand that.” I shrug my shoulder shyly and peek up at him through my lashes. “Maybe we can keep doing what were doing. I’m not ready to get engaged tonight or even tomorrow, but I’m not saying ‘soon’ is off the table. You have me pretty happy tonight, Mitchell.” I smile up at him when I see the disappointment cross his face. I kiss his soft lips and assure him that we will get there sooner rather than later and he offers up the rest of the night to me.
“I’d really like to take you over to my brother’s house. They were barbequing earlier but said they would be there having drinks for a while.”
“Sounds great,” he replied. “I’d love to see everyone again.”
****
When we arrived I was pretty nervous. Dec and Greyden knew Mitch from school and from functions that our families had all attended while we were growing up, but they hadn’t exactly been friends. Luca, Keegan, and Ava had never met him. Mitch is a real nice guy and when he’s with me, alone, he lets his guard down and is relaxed, funny, and enjoyable to be around. What I’m nervous about is his going into his politician role. That guy’s not so enjoyable, with his too-proper attitude and constant campaigning, but it’s whom he feels most comfortable as when he’s in uncomfortable situations, like meeting my friends—friends I consider family.
We walk up to the front door with Mitch holding my hand and I let myself in. Mitch tugs on my hand and stops at the threshold. “You aren’t going to knock?” he asks, looking both confused and completely taken by surprise. I’ve noticed before that he buzzes his parents’ doorbell and waits to be let in each time we go to visit. That’s unheard of in my family. Our doors are always open to each other and if they’re not, we have keys.
I smile endearingly at him and hope that one day, even though he just explained to me how our future will be, I can give him just a little bit of my lifestyle, maybe loosen him up a touch. I shake my head and answer, “Nope,” as I tug on his hand to get him to follow me into the house. As we make our way through the dining room, Ava looks up from the sink where she’s washing dishes and shuts off the water.
“Yay!” she says quite loudly while drying off her hands on the dishtowel. “I honestly didn’t think you would come. I’m so dang happy right now I feel like I could cry!” She scurries around the bar and wraps her arms around me tightly.
“Cry? Are you pregnant? I just saw you this afternoon!” I push her back gently to inspect her closer, her eyes are glazed just a bit, but she’s smiling from ear to ear.
“No, I’m not pregnant!” Ava screeches as she bats away my hands.
“She better not be pregnant, she’s drank like, three bottles of wine tonight.” Declan laughs lightly at himself, coming through the door, and puts his arm around Ava, then extends his right hand out to Mitch. “Mitchell, nice to see you again. This is my wife, Ava.” Declan beams at her as he makes the introduction and Ava reaches out to shake his hand. “Thanks for bringing Macie by tonight; we’ve been missing her lately.” Declan winks at me and I instantly feel awful for neglecting them so much. What kind of person banishes her friends and family the moment she starts dating someone? Apparently this person, that’s who.
“It’s good to see you too, Declan, thank you for having us,” Mitch replies politely.
“I have not drank three bottles, only one…and maybe another half of one.” She reaches up and kisses Declan as he laughs at her.
I look up at Mitch, who’s watching them like they’re a new type of species he’s just discovered. I imagine to him they are.
“Where’s my baby girl tonight?” I ask, interrupting their disgustingly sweet kisses.
“She’s with Mom. She’s taking her to a brunch or something tomorrow so she just kept her overnight. Get you guys something to
drink, Mace, and let’s go out back with everyone else.” He grabs Ava’s hand and Ava snatches her wine glass in a stealthy move on her way out.
I walk into the kitchen to see what I can offer Mitch and he surprises me by following me. He leans up against the counter and watches me thoughtfully. I can’t handle it anymore—I have to know what’s going on in his head. I stop rummaging through the bar cabinet and turn fully to him. “What?”
The corner of his mouth lifts a bit before answering me. “I think we might be overdressed a little.”
Not what I was expecting at all. Laughter bubbles out of me and he hugs me as he laughs with me. I’m sure we look ridiculous, standing in my brother’s kitchen, me in a red satin gown, him in a black tuxedo, both of us laughing, but I couldn’t care less. He’s made me happy and I’m running with it.
“Okay, what do we have to drink?” he asks, peering around me into the fridge. “We’d better get out there. Unfortunately I can’t stay really late, I have to be at the office at six to prepare for a meeting.”
“He has pretty much everything. What do you want?”
“I’ll just have a beer tonight.”
I grab him a beer from the fridge and pour myself a glass of wine and just as we get to the back door where I can see several people on the back porch, Mitch pauses and kisses me. I look at him questioningly and he just smiles, opening the door and gesturing for me to step through.
The guys all greet us and I see Allison, a girl that Greyden keeps around occasionally, and Aubrey, my niece’s nanny. I’ve never brought a guy around before, so this is new to all of us. I can feel them all watching closely as Mitch pulls me even closer when we sit down on the cushioned bench.
Allison and Aubrey are immersed in conversation to the right of us, talking about their shopping trip to the Gilroy Outlets earlier that day. Luca, Keegan, Greyden, Declan, and Ava are in a semi-circle around the stone fire pit. I take a quick swallow of wine in hopes of easing some nerves before making introductions.
“Luca, Keegan, this is my boyfriend, Mitchell Vanderhorn.”
Ava’s eye bug out of their sockets and Declan tilts his head to the side, questioning my declaration. Both guys half stand out of their seats and lean over the small fire to offer Mitch their hands. Once they’re seated again, I move my gaze over to Grey. He hasn’t spoken a word and he hasn’t made a move to get up and greet either of us. He’s just sitting there, looking relaxed, but I can tell by the look on his too-passive face that he’s not relaxed at all.
I remove my contemplative gaze from him and turn to Mitch, “Honey, you remember Greyden Michaels, right?” I ask as I offer him a small smile. I’m confident that I’m the only one in this circle that can see anything other than total relaxation and neutral feelings coming from Greyden, so I just need to make sure that I can pull it off as well as he can.
“Of course I do,” Mitch says politely as he stands and reaches over the fire, waiting for Greyden to stop staring at me and stand up to shake his hand.
“Good to see you again, Mitch, it’s been a long time,” Greyden says as he relaxes back into his seat.
Dec and Ava resume in their conversation, Keegan says something to the girls to his left, and Luca watches Mitch and I carefully. Aside from Dec, Luca is the one who took the overprotective brother role the most seriously, so I’m not surprised by his reaction to my introducing Mitch as my boyfriend.
“Yes, it has been. What are you up to these days? I thought for sure you would be on the same track as Declan to the UFC.” Mitch places his hand on my thigh and glides it in slow strokes along the red satin of my dress.
Quick as a wink, Grey’s eyes flash down to Mitch’s hand and then back up to his face without a change of expression. “Nah, I didn’t take the fighting route like I thought I would when I was younger.” Grey takes a long pull from his beer, keeping his eyes on Mitch’s face. “After college I started doing some financial consulting and it’s developed enough to keep me more than a little busy.”
“Grey’s brilliant with numbers,” Ava pipes in proudly. “He’s helped me out tremendously with my school loans and has me all set up with a couple small investments and a retirement plan. I never thought I could ever be set up like this, but Grey made it happen.”
“Sunshine, I told you I would make it happen, but you’re so damn stubborn,” Declan reminds her gruffly as he puts his arm around his wife and kisses her head. “As your husband, you should’ve just let me pay all of that shit off and get it out of the way.”
Ava’s head falls back against the seat and she exhales loudly. “Greyden!” she groans loudly, looking for backup.
Greyden laughs. “Leave her alone, man, she’s got it taken care of.”
“Sounds like we can use you down at the city offices, Greyden,” Mitchell says to him as he threads his fingers through mine.
I finish my glass of wine much quicker than is deemed appropriate by wine connoisseurs, but right now I don’t much care what the connoisseurs think of me. This wine is going down nicely and I need it. Grey is making me need it.
“That’ll never happen.” Greyden smirks as he lifts his beer up to his lips. “I like working independently just fine.” He’s holding on to his cool, relaxed posture. He’s not going to allow anyone to penetrate that façade at this point.
“His dad’s been trying to get him to commit to his consulting firm since he graduated, but Greyden’s a bit of a free spirit, can’t-tie-me-down type.” I speak softly to Mitch, but everyone is quiet at this point, so they all hear me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Allison stand up and walk over to Greyden, sitting comfortably on his lap. Talking about Greyden, who held my future in the palm of his hand for so long, to the man that has just promised me a new, very different future is difficult to swallow. I also have to completely dismiss Allison, dismiss her altogether. She’s too much of a distraction.
“Lord knows I’ve been trying to tie him down for years,” Allison says, looking over at us, her eyes passing right over me and landing on Mitch. “But she’s right. I can’t tie this free spirit down.”
Greyden doesn’t move. He doesn’t bring his arm around her or pull her into him, he just takes another drink of his beer. Allison reaches up and strokes his face.
“Well, if you ever change your mind, be sure to give me a call. We need more young professionals down there,” Mitch says seriously.
“Got it,” Greyden responds, his voice as uninterested as possible.
Luca walks over to me and extends his hand. “Come talk to me for a minute. I’m going to have to take Aubrey home soon.”
I look over to Mitch, who smiles and gives me a slight nod of the head, so I take Luca’s hand and follow him over to the far side of the yard. I kick off my heels and step down into the sandy area where my niece Harper’s play structure is and sit down on the swing. Luca stands behind me and gently pushes me.
“You have a boyfriend,” he says simply, his tone as quiet and sure as ever.
“I do.” It still doesn’t sound natural to say it out loud and it even feels a little funny to admit it to Luca. When Mitch and I worked out the kinks and details of our relationship and our future just a little while ago, I was elated. I was excited for what’s to come for us, for me, but preparing to have this conversation with this man that’s like my brother, that means so much to me, is terrifying. What if he has sound reasoning for me not to date Mitch? What if he knows something about Greyden that will put me back to where I was months ago?
“He’s not the type of guy I thought you would end up with, Mace. Are you happy?”
I love Luca, and I trust him with my life, but do I trust him with my girly feelings? Mmmm, I don’t believe I do.
“I am happy, Luca. He’s a great guy. And he’s not a stranger, our families have known each other forever. He has a great career, he’s an upstanding citizen, and he pays attention to me. He wants all the things I want. He’s looking to settle down and get his family st
arted. He’s not messing around, going through girls like water. That’s not where he is in his life and neither am I, so it works for us.” I bypass all of the technicalities of our relationship and the “business transaction” aspect of our supposed future marriage. That’s definitely nobody’s business but my own.
“I see.” He pushes me a couple more times in silence, contemplating his next words, I’m sure. “Have you considered what a future with him would be like? I’ve only met him in person tonight, but I know who he is. I know he’s on the fast track to being at least Governor one day. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for you, sweetheart. We’ve already noticed how much time he’s taken up over the last six weeks or so you’ve been dating him. We miss you, Mace. I hate the thought of you being gone all the time now that he’s in your life because you have girlfriend duties.”
“I’ve considered it, Luca. You know since I was a little girl I have always wanted the American dream…” His chuckles stop me mid-sentence and I turn around to look to see what’s so funny.
“You did that on your own,” he points out with a smile. “Don’t you have like, four or five properties at a time?”
I buy and renovate houses as one of my businesses. I also do the interior designing and I have my real estate license, as well. I love it and it keeps me busy.
“True, but I can’t have a family on my own,” I retort, “and Mitch is willing to give that to me. He admitted to liking me since we were kids, Luca. That’s sweet and not something you find these days. He’s safe and I like safe.”
Luca walks around to face me and helps me off of the swing. Once he has me standing up, he pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly. “I just want to make sure you think this through. I won’t stand back and watch you get hurt.” He kisses the top of my hair and then pulls back to look me in the eye.
“Thanks, Luca, but it might happen. I won’t know if I don’t try and I want to try with him.” We step up onto the grass and he hands me one shoe. “Now, tell me why you’re the one taking the nanny home.” I look up at him through my lashes as I lean down and bring my right foot up to my meet the shoe in my hand.